Colin S' fellow developers were completely fed up with the incredibly slow database they had to work with. They weren't sure exactly what was wrong with it, but they figured it was probably an incompetent DBA who couldn't index a table to save his life. Or it was a clueless infrastructure guy who didn't know his hubs from his switches. Or, most likely, it was SQL Server, which everyone knows is a really slow database.

Colin, however, had another idea. He took a look at some of the queries they were running. He found this snippet from a 175-line long query ...

SELECT DISTINCT SMS_G_System_SYSTEM.Name 
  FROM SMS_R_System
       INNER JOIN SMS_G_System_SYSTEM
               ON SMS_G_System_SYSTEM.ResourceID = SMS_R_System.ResourceID 
 WHERE SMS_G_System_SYSTEM.Name NOT IN (
         SELECT SMS_G_System_SYSTEM.Name 
           FROM SMS_R_System 
                INNER JOIN SMS_G_System_SYSTEM
                   ON SMS_G_System_SYSTEM.ResourceID = SMS_R_System.ResourceId 
          WHERE SMS_G_System_SYSTEM.Name IN ( 
            'STC0017127', 'STC0015341', 'STC0015342', 'STC0015343', 
            'STC0015344', 'STC0015345', 'STC0015346', 'STC0015347', 
            'STC0015348', 'STC0017117', 'STC0017118', 'STC0017119', 
            'STC0017120', 'STC0017121', 'STC0017122', 'STC0017123', 
            'STC0017124', 'STC0017125', 'STC0017126', 'STC0017128', 
            'STC0019158', 'STC0019160' 
            )
         )