Josh will take any bit of solace he can find. The database he works with each day has caused him more pain than every other combined. Saying that it's "just a mess" is like saying that Hurricane Katrina was "just a storm."

Take the User table, for example. The original developers never thought to put a unique constraint on the "Username" column, resulting in a now-unchangeable 249 users with a username of "null", 103 with the username "" (that's blank), and over 400 Jose's and John's. As for Josh, he's just happy he can share this following stored procedure. It's a fun, little microcosm of his daily insanity.

 

ALTER PROCEDURE [dbo].[ZZZZZZZZJunk] AS
  SET IDENTITY_INSERT ARTrans1  ON
  select 'Cross your fingers...'
  SET IDENTITY_INSERT ARTrans1  OFF

 

Cross your fingers, indeed.