Jakeypoo updates us with some more details ...

It's me again.  Alex posted my article earlier today about the worst database structure I've ever seen.  Well, it gets worse.

This is the query we use to find a record:

Email addresses are in the phone number field.  Website URLs are in the other phone number field.  This reminds me of my brief stint helping out after school at a hospital.

"Doctor, where should I put the penicillin we ordered?"

"In the box marked 'EXPLOSIVE DEADLY CANCER POISON.'"

"Oh... kay... And the shipment of explosive deadly cancer poison?"

"Jesus, do I have to do everything myself?  It's very dangerous stuff, so we keep it in the freezer at the cafeteria and write 'FOOD' on the side.  Here's a marker."

Keen-eyed readers may've noticed where it says "networkingFromClause" in the above screenshot.  Why not just type out "FROM Cn"?  This next screenshot will clarify things.

Ha ha, you suckers thought that would actually clarify things!  MAN you should see the looks on your faces!

I know what you're thinking, but views are absolutely out of the question.  Just because.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll resume weeping quietly at my desk.