Remy Porter

Remy is a veteran developer who writes software for farming robots. They pick tomatoes.

He's often on stage, doing improv comedy, but insists that he isn't doing comedy- it's deadly serious. You're laughing at him, not with him. That, by the way, is usually true- you're laughing at him, not with him.

Quite a Distance from the Right Solution

by in CodeSOD on

Fritz's team needed to see if one point was within a certain distance from a center point. You or I would likely try and answer this question using a simple distance calculation, since that's the question we're trying to answer. But what if you didn't understand distances at all? Then you could write this little piece of genius.

        private bool IsWithin(Point point, int radius)
        {
            for (int x = -radius; x < radius + 1; x++)
            {
                for (int y = -radius; y < radius + 1; y++)
                {
                    if ((PositionX == point.X + x) && (PositionY == point.Y + y))
                        return true;
                }
            }

            return false;
        }

Unique Testing

by in Representative Line on

Nikolai M's team had a flaky CI/CD build. About 0.5% of the time, one of their tests would fail: frequent enough to be annoying, but not so frequent that it motivated management to assign anybody to investigate. Nikolai eventually dug in, taking the initiative.

Microsoft's implementation of UUIDs calls them GUIDs. The GUID is, per the docs, really just a wrapper around UUID algorithms, and supports a variety of different UUID variants. I'm sure at some historical point, this wasnt't true, and Microsoft had some weird internal algorithm. That's not really here nor there, but the test that was failing was failing because of an assertion relating to GUIDs.


Historical Pads

by in CodeSOD on

Tim inherited a fairly antique Visual Basic application some time back. Yes, Visual Basic, not VB .Net. The application is old enough that we might consider it "vintage" or "historical"; it certainly dates from before the millennium. But it has its own unique approach to handling historical dates:

  mnYear% = CInt(Year(vntDate)) 
  If mnYear% < 1000 Then 
       msYear$ = "0" & Trim$(CStr(mnYear%)) 
  Else 
       msYear$ = Trim$(CStr(mnYear%)) 
  End If

The John Cage Variable

by in CodeSOD on

David C sends us a true confession.

For my job, I write C++ code as if it was a scripting language (long story) to produce programmatic animations for videos. Given that these are "write-and-run-once-and-never-look-at-it-again" programs, I tend to not try as hard to make my code good. But once I wrote this line of code, I had to take a step back and reevaluate my life choices.


The Weakest Leg

by in Feature Articles on

On July 10 2026, a life insurance company called TruStage had a "cybersecurity incident". According to an update posted five days later, when they revealed the incident, they are "continuing to work carefully and urgently to understand the facts, and the company will communicate appropriately as its understanding of the situation evolves."

This work, according to their outage page (last updated on September 11th, at the time of this writing), is continuing. Every major business function is listed as "partially available". They have some text explaining that they can't simply turn the system back on, because safety.


Vintage 2013

by in CodeSOD on

Today we have more of a representative comment, from Watson. This comes from some GPL licensed code published by everybody's favorite evil empire, Oracle.

/*
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 2013 2013 2013 Oracle and/or its affiliates. All rights reserved.
 *
 * This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or
 * modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as
 * published by the Free Software Foundation; version 2 of the
 * License.
 *
 * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
 * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
 * GNU General Public License for more details.
 *
 * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 * along with this program; if not, write to the Free Software
 * Foundation, Inc., 51 Franklin St, Fifth Floor, Boston, MA
 * 02110-1301  USA
 */

Extremely One Line

by in CodeSOD on

Autoformatting your code is a standard thing to do these days. And in those days past, if we're being honest. There's no excuse to not use some kind of autoformatter. Whether you configure your editor to do it or are a weirdo like me who runs a formatter from the CLI as a build step, you've got an easy way to format your code so it looks neat and readable. And some IDEs, like Visual Studio, are pretty insistent about doing this for you. Which makes today's code sample a bit more perplexing. This comes from an ancient ASP .Net application that Austin has the misfortune to work with:

protected void Page_PreInit(object sender, EventArgs e){if (Request.ServerVariables["http_user_agent"].IndexOf("Safari", StringComparison.CurrentCultureIgnoreCase) != -1)Page.ClientTarget = "uplevel";} protected void Page_Load(object sender, EventArgs e)
{
 Logic();
}

An Odd Sort

by in CodeSOD on

Let's say we wanted to query Active Directory and print out a report of all of our users, and their last logon time. That seems like a pretty normal task for a Powershell script. It'd probably be short and easy to read, at least if it were written by a normal person.

Alice sends us one that wasn't. She's already done us a favor, as she writes: "Code cleaned up and indented for the whitespace-missing-impaired."


Archives