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"Spotted this in front of a retro-looking record player in an Italian tech shop. I don't think anybody had any idea how to categorize it so they just left it up to the system," Marco D. writes.
Jen was a few weeks into her new helpdesk job. Unlike past jobs, she started getting her own support tickets quickly—but a more veteran employee, Stanley, had been tasked with showing her the ropes. He also got notification of Jen's tickets, and they worked on them together. A new ticket had just come in, asking for someone to replace the DVI cable that'd gone missing from Conference Room 3. Such cables were the means by which coworkers connected their laptops to projectors for presentations.
The Kansas City Developer Conference is this week, followed by PubConf. Between these two events on Friday evening is plenty of time for a TDWTF dinner, and that's exactly what we're planning!
If you find yourself in Kansas City Missouri this Friday, for KCDC, PubConf, or perhaps because you live here, please come out to the Dubliner at 5:30 PM for dinner and a pint. I'll be there along with Martine Dowden and some TDWTF swag to give away. We'll talk software, discuss what we took away from the conference, and can head over to PubConf together.
It’s old hat, but every function, every class, every code unit you write, should all have a single, well-defined purpose. “Do one thing, and do it well,” as it were.
Of course, sometimes, it’s easier said that done, and mindlessly following that advice can lead to premature abstraction, and then you’ll have quite a mess on your hands. Still, it’s good advice, and a great design goal, even if you don’t head straight there.
Noam and a few friends decided it was time for them to launch their own product. They were young, optimistic about their career, and had some opinions about the best way to handle some basic network monitoring and scanning tasks. So they iterated on the idea a few times, until one day the program just started hanging. At first, Noam thought it was just a hang, but after walking away from the machine for a few minutes in frustration, he discovered that it was just running really slow.
After a little investigation, he tracked down the problem to the function responsible for checking if an IP matched a filter. That filter could contain globs, which made things a bit tricky, but his partner had some ideas about how best to handle them.
If a piece of software is described in any way, shape or form as being "enterprise", it's a safe bet that you don't actually want to use it. As a general rule, "enterprise" software packages mix the Inner-Platform Effect with trying to be all things to all customers, with thousands upon thousands of lines of legacy code that can't be touched because at least one customer depends on those quirks. There doesn't tend to be much competition in the "enterprise" space, so none of the vendors actually put any thought into making their products good. That's what salesbeasts and lawyers are for.
Kristoph M supports a deployment of Initech's data warehouse system. Since this system is a mix of stored procedures and SSIS packages, Kristoph can actually read a good portion of the code which makes the product work. They just choose not to. And that's usually a good choice.
"You know, I'm thinking that The guys working on AT&T's DIRECTV service must have not done well with fractions in school," Andrew T. writes.
Oliver works for a very large company. Just recently, someone decided that it was time to try out those “newfangled REST services.”
Since this was “new”, at least within the confines of the organization, that meant there were a lot more eyes on the project and a more thorough than average code review process. That’s how Oliver found this.
It’s hard to do any non-trivial programming in C without having to use a struct. Structs are great! A single variable holds access to multiple pieces of data, and all the nasty details of how they’re laid out in memory are handled by the compiler.
In more modern OO languages, we take that kind of thing for granted. We’re so abstracted from the details of how memory is laid out it’s easy to forget how tricky and difficult actually managing that kind of memory layout is.
Alice's team was thirty developers, taking up most of the floor of a nondescript office building in yet another office park. Their team was a contractor-to-a-contractor for a branch of the US military, which meant a variety of things. First, bringing a thumb drive into the office was a firing offense. Second, they were used to a certain level of bureaucracy. You couldn't change a line of code unless you had four different documents confirming the change was necessary and was authorized, and actually deploying a change was a milestone event with code freezes and expected extra hours.
Despite all this, the thirty person team had built a great working relationship. They had made their process as efficient as they could, and their PM, Doug, understood the work well enough to keep things streamlined. In fact, Doug did such a good job that Doug got promoted. Enter Millie, his replacement.
Animations have become such an omnipresent part of our UI designs anymore that we tend to only notice them when they're bad.
Ben is working on an iOS application which appeared to have a "bad" animation. In this case, it's bad because it's slow. How slow? Well, they have a table view with ten items in it, and the items should quickly tween to their new state- position, text, colors all could change in this process. And it was taking four seconds.
It's still a holiday weekend in the US; after playing with fireworks yesterday, most of us have to spend today trying to find the fingers we lost. There are no fireworks in this classic story, but there may be some karma… Original --Remy
When Kevin landed a job at Townbank in the late 1980s, he came face-to-face with the same thing that thousands of newly minted developers had encountered before and since – there is more to being a corporate programmer than just writing code – there’s the process.
Second only, perhaps, to the strict rules commanded by the world’s religions, the process keeps the code consistent. Glory to the process – praised be the process - the process is good, the process should always be followed, and above all, the process is good for you!
It's "Independence Day" here in the US, which is the day in which developers celebrate their independence from DBAs and switch everything over to NoSQL, no matter what the cost. Or something like that, the history is a little fuzzy. But it's a holiday here, so in honor of that, here's a related story. Original --Remy
Generally speaking, Andrew tries his best to avoid the DBA team. It's not just because database administrators tend to be a unique breed (his colleagues were certainly no exception), but because of the "things" that he'd heard about the team. The sort of "things" that keep developers up at night and make them regret not becoming an accountant.
One day, while debugging an issue with their monitoring scripts, Andrew had no choice but to check with Thom, a member of Team DBA. It turned out that one of DBA's had recently updated their database backup script, but Thom wasn't really sure who did it, why it was done, or what it looked like before. So, he just sent Andrew the entire backup script.
Jake works in Python. Python is a very flexible language, and Jake has some co-workers who like to exploit it as much as possible.
Specifically, they’re notorious for taking advantage of how any symbol can be redefined, as needed. Is int a built-in function? Yes. But what if you want to have a variable called int? No problem! Just go ahead and do it. Python won’t mind if you do int = int(5).
Christopher started a new job as a “full-stack” developer. Unfortunately, most of the developers are still on the “why do you need anything other than jQuery” school of front-end development, despite efforts to transition their UIs to Vue.
This meant that Christopher didn’t do much backend, and ended up being the mid-level front-end dev, in practice if not in job title.
The interview was going well—as well as one could possibly expect. Alarik, the candidate, had a no-nonsense attitude, a high degree of precision to his speech, and a heavy German accent. He was applying for a job with Erik's company as a C# developer working on an inherited legacy codebase, and he'd almost earned himself the job. There was just one routine question left in the interview:
Jun 19
