Ben inherited a an application from a fellow employee on the fast track to retirement. How fast? Well, these are some sample methods in a thousands-of-lines-long class file called, appropriately, "Functions".
	public static string ReturnEmptyStringIfNullElseValue(string value)
		{
			if (value == null)
			{
				return "";
			}
			else
			{
				return value.ToString().Trim();
			}
		}

That isn't the worst, most useless block of code possible. Neither was his method to turn strings into ints.

		public static int ReturnIntValueOfString(string value)
		{
			if (value != null)
			{
				if (value.ToString().Trim().Length == 0)
					return 0;
				else
				{
					int tmpValue = 0;
					// This will fail if a decimal number is passed in
					if (int.TryParse(value.ToString().Trim().Replace("$", "").Replace(",", ""), out tmpValue))
						return tmpValue;

					// Let's handle decimals now
					decimal tmpDecimal = 0;
					if (decimal.TryParse(value.ToString().Trim().Replace("$", "").Replace(",", ""), out tmpDecimal))
						tmpValue = Convert.ToInt32(Math.Round(tmpDecimal, 0));

					return tmpValue;
				}
			}
			else
				return 0;
		}

Or these twin functions:

		public static decimal ReturnDecimalValueOfString(string value)
		{
			if (value != null)
			{
				if (value.ToString().Trim().Length == 0)
				{
					return 0M;
				}
				else
				{
					decimal tmpValue = 0M;
					decimal.TryParse(value.ToString().Trim().Replace("$", "").Replace(",", ""), out tmpValue);
					return tmpValue;
				}
			}
			else
			{
				return 0M;
			}
		}
		public static byte ReturnByteValueOfString(string value)
		{
			if (value != null)
			{
				if (value.ToString().Trim().Length == 0)
				{
					return 0;
				}
				else
				{
					byte tmpValue = 0;
					byte.TryParse(value.ToString().Trim().Replace("$", "").Replace(",", ""), out tmpValue);
					return tmpValue;
				}
			}
			else
			{
				return 0;
			}
		}

Now, Java doesn't have a built-in "isNumeric " function. Ben's codebase wasn't actually in Java, but Ben's predecessor had to implement his own anyway. He found one of the more… clever approaches to the problem.

		public static bool isNumeric(string value)
		{
			bool isNum = true;
			for (int i = 0; i < value.Length; i++)
			{
				if (!"1234567890".Contains(value.Substring(i, 1)))
				{
					isNum = false;
				}
			}
			return isNum;
		}
Hey, you. Yeah you. The one reader on Google+. I don't think you've followed us yet.