Comment On 19th Century MSDN Subscription

Frist.

Also, the missing image is here: http://img.thedailywtf.com/images/13/q1/e49/Pic-5.png

**Fixed...stupid HTML -- Mark

I don't think submitter understands that Home Depot doesn't get to choose the ads with Google Ads. An algorithm does

The real WTF is why a retail outlet thinks that carrying ads is worth the loss in revenue by reminding customers of convenient alternative outlets, algorithmically-optimised to be relevant to the particular product they were going to buy. How much ad revenue could they possibly be generating?

Arkady:

the missing image is here: http://img.thedailywtf.com/images/13/q1/e49/Pic-5.png

Emmet Lane should be reported for plagiarism :/

bkDJ:

Arkady:

the missing image is here: http://img.thedailywtf.com/images/13/q1/e49/Pic-5.png

Emmet Lane should be reported for plagiarism :/

But at least we now know what it takes to win the Pulitzer Prize.

"...the day before the end of the word..."

The end of the word. There it is.

Soackatume:

The real WTF is why a retail outlet thinks that carrying ads is worth the loss in revenue

Ah, I see you don't understand business:
1. Set up an online shop for goods of category "X"
2. Make sure that if you search for "X", your shop ranks very high in Google
3. In your online shop, ask for unreasonably high prices
4. Get Google Ads
5. You main source of income will be Google Ads due to your shop's high prices
6. But that doesn't matter, because you neither store the articles of "X", nor do you have any staff do ship them, let alone a warehouse.
7. Should a customer accidentally order an article from your shop, buy it cheap at your competitors. When it arrives, relabel it and send it on to the customer.

Ok, a quick Google Image search seems to indicate that Home Depot indeed does have physical stores, but that doesn't invalidate a nice business idea, does it?

Now, where can I patent that idea of mine?

Well I have to say that's nearly the first time I've seen relevant ads on a web page! For all the big-corporation hysteria about needing to know every last little detail about me, the ad targeting has been waaaaay off the mark, in my experience.

This page, for instance, is showing me ads featuring a sharp-toothed bat. WTF?

Maybe I should set my browser to start taking cookies...

faoileag:

Ok, a quick Google Image search seems to indicate that Home Depot indeed does have physical stores, but that doesn't invalidate a nice business idea, does it?

Now, where can I patent that idea of mine?

Apples patent lawyers will be around shortly with a cease and desist letter to stop you from copying their innovation.

Well I always suspected Microsoft was up to their usual lies when they brag about how quick-to-market they are, but now we have proof that they've been secretly developing Windows for at least 114 years!

If you know a way to make sure ANYthing ranks very high in Google, then don't bother with the shop.
Companies pay loads to end up high on Google.

Guys, I can't believe you've been so lax, so I guess it is up to me to say it.

0.0006103515625GB ought to be enough for anyone.

Well they've been bragging about how Ubuntu is getting more and more like Windows every year and I guess now we've finally arrived!

I've actually installed two of that $224 garage door, solo.

[prince]And today I'm gonna program like it's eighteen-ninety-nine![/prince]

Sockatume:

I don't think submitter understands that Home Depot doesn't get to choose the ads with Google Ads. An algorithm does

The real WTF is why a retail outlet thinks that carrying ads is worth the loss in revenue by reminding customers of convenient alternative outlets, algorithmically-optimised to be relevant to the particular product they were going to buy. How much ad revenue could they possibly be generating?

Homedepot.com is making money from ads. Is this difficult to understand?

It looks like perfectly correct rounding to 3 decimal places to me.

That's not (real) Latin; that's Lorem Ipsum, a repeating set of quasi-latin words used pretty much to test typefaces.

Lorem Ipsum on the Wikipedia

CAPTCHA: sino - Akismet committed a sino when it flagged this comment as spam! :(

An MSDN subscription wasn't necessarily a good deal in 1899. It came on two horse-drawn wagons filled with Hollerith cards. I would have recommended just buying the stand-alone version of Visual Difference Engine.

The real WTF is why a retail outlet thinks that carrying ads is worth the loss in revenue by reminding customers of convenient alternative outlets, algorithmically-optimised to be relevant to the particular product they were going to buy. How much ad revenue could they possibly be generating?

Well they can either have no ads and lose business to competitors, or have ads and lose business to customers and make some money off the ads.

Without ads, they either go to their site and buy something, or they don't. With ads, even if the customers don't buy something, they still get money.

faoileag:

Soackatume:

The real WTF is why a retail outlet thinks that carrying ads is worth the loss in revenue

Ah, I see you don't understand business:
1. Set up an online shop for goods of category "X"
2. Make sure that if you search for "X", your shop ranks very high in Google
3. In your online shop, ask for unreasonably high prices
4. Get Google Ads
5. You main source of income will be Google Ads due to your shop's high prices
6. But that doesn't matter, because you neither store the articles of "X", nor do you have any staff do ship them, let alone a warehouse.
7. Should a customer accidentally order an article from your shop, buy it cheap at your competitors. When it arrives, relabel it and send it on to the customer.

Ok, a quick Google Image search seems to indicate that Home Depot indeed does have physical stores, but that doesn't invalidate a nice business idea, does it?

Now, where can I patent that idea of mine?

#7 there is crazy talk. You just have your "competitor" drop-ship it to the customer; it never needs to enter your hands. It'll get to them quicker, you don't need the staff or supplies to re-label, you only pay shipping once, etc.

There are about -2147483649 "resellers" on Amazon.com and Ebay that do this right now.

Xarthaneon the Unclear:

That's not (real) Latin; that's Lorem Ipsum, a repeating set of quasi-latin words used pretty much to test typefaces.

Lorem Ipsum on the Wikipedia

CAPTCHA: sino - Akismet committed a sino when it flagged this comment as spam! :(

Do I spy a grammar nazi of a dead language?

Arkady:

Frist.

Also, the missing image is here: http://img.thedailywtf.com/images/13/q1/e49/Pic-5.png

**Fixed...stupid HTML -- Mark

Looks like you also 'fixed... comments regarding said HTML mistake' by censoring them (mine and a couple of others, but not this one, it would seem). At least I was trying to be helpful by explaining the source of the problem.

"Home Depot should reconsider their choice of ads" or maybe we could do the opposite and legally force every shop to have ads for other shops.

You know, to help that invisible hand a little.

> I don't think submitter understands that Home Depot doesn't get to choose the ads with Google Ads. An algorithm does

As submitted, my tagline was something along the lines of "Home Depot should reconsider the revenue it gets from Adwords." Not happy with the edits, but that's the risk one takes with editors.

Xarthaneon the Unclear:

That's not (real) Latin; that's Lorem Ipsum, a repeating set of quasi-latin words used pretty much to test typefaces.

Lorem Ipsum on the Wikipedia

CAPTCHA: sino - Akismet committed a sino when it flagged this comment as spam! :(

Thank heavens Xarthaneon is here to explain what lorem ipsum is, otherwise we'd all be sitting here thinking "LOL! LATIN!!11 What a MUG".

Xarthaneon the Unclear:

That's not (real) Latin; that's Lorem Ipsum, a repeating set of quasi-latin words used pretty much to test typefaces.

Lorem Ipsum on the Wikipedia

CAPTCHA: sino - Akismet committed a sino when it flagged this comment as spam! :(

Thank heavens Xarthaneon is here to explain what lorem ipsum is, otherwise we'd all be sitting here thinking "LOL! LATIN!!11 What a MUG".

Customer A wants to buy something you sell. He is willing to spend the time shopping around. He finds your competitor sells for less. You make nothing.

Customer B doesn't care about price, he's in a big hurry. He just buys the first one he finds. If that's you, great, you make a sale.

Customer C is a sheep; he does whatever marketers tell him. He finds his way to your site because you got the best search engine placement. You make a sale.

Now let's add ads to the above scenarios, and see how your income changes.

For A, you make a few cents if he happens to hit your page while shopping.

For B, you make a few additional cents if he happens to hit your page first.

For C, you make a few cents from the ad but you lose the sale.

So, if your web site mostly attracts frugal shoppers who shop around, or rich people who are in a hurry, you can come out ahead. But if your customers are the aimless masses, you're going to be driving business away from your site.

Rich:

Customer C is a sheep; he does whatever marketers tell him. He finds his way to your site because you got the best search engine placement. You make a sale.

Rich:

For C, you make a few cents from the ad but you lose the sale.

Wait, so if C visits my site, do I make a sale or do I lose a sale?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Steve The Cynic:

Wait, so if C visits my site, do I make a sale or do I lose a sale?

It depends on whether or not you tell him to go somewhere else.

Sockatume:

I don't think submitter understands that Home Depot doesn't get to choose the ads with Google Ads. An algorithm does

The real WTF is why a retail outlet thinks that carrying ads is worth the loss in revenue by reminding customers of convenient alternative outlets, algorithmically-optimised to be relevant to the particular product they were going to buy. How much ad revenue could they possibly be generating?

Rather than idly speculating (yeah, I know, what was I thinking), consider that Amazon's been posting competitor ads by the boatload. Doesn't seem to have hurt their profit margin so far.

That 12/31/1899 was used when you wanted SQL to display only a time in SQL 7.0. You couldn't set it directly though. You had to set the date to 1/1/1900 and subtract 1 for some reason or the date would display.

12/31/1899 is obviously just epoch adjusted for timezone ...

not *everyone* uses the one true epoch.

typo in the article: "recieved"

i before e except after WTF

Bob:

Well I have to say that's nearly the first time I've seen relevant ads on a web page! For all the big-corporation hysteria about needing to know every last little detail about me, the ad targeting has been waaaaay off the mark, in my experience.

This page, for instance, is showing me ads featuring a sharp-toothed bat. WTF?

Maybe I should set my browser to start taking cookies...

sounds like they need to start showing tin foil ads to you...

cellocgw:

Sockatume:

I don't think submitter understands that Home Depot doesn't get to choose the ads with Google Ads. An algorithm does

The real WTF is why a retail outlet thinks that carrying ads is worth the loss in revenue by reminding customers of convenient alternative outlets, algorithmically-optimised to be relevant to the particular product they were going to buy. How much ad revenue could they possibly be generating?

Rather than idly speculating (yeah, I know, what was I thinking), consider that Amazon's been posting competitor ads by the boatload. Doesn't seem to have hurt their profit margin so far.

I've found that speculating wildly is far less work than doing research.

RE 1899: Just shows how up-to-date Microsoft's technology is.

Steve The Cynic:

Rich:

Customer C is a sheep; he does whatever marketers tell him. He finds his way to your site because you got the best search engine placement. You make a sale.

Rich:

For C, you make a few cents from the ad but you lose the sale.

Wait, so if C visits my site, do I make a sale or do I lose a sale?

Inquiring minds want to know!

You make a sale. Says so at the end of the first section.

I don't think targeted ads work as well as Google or whomever would like the advertisers to think. The targeted ads that I'm getting lately:

1. I recently bought a new scanner. I spent a few hours shopping around and then ordered it. For months after, I got ads for scanners. Too late guys, I already bought one. How many scanners do you think I need?

2. A co-worker of mine posted on our company chat line the brand name of a product that he liked. He didn't say what it was and the brand was unfamiliar to me, so out of curiousity I looked it up. Turned out to be a brand of cigar. I don't smoke, so I moved on. For weeks after I got ads for cigars.

3. I visited an atheist web site. Apparently because the page mentioned Christianity -- criticizing it, of course -- all the ads on the page were for Christian web sites and products. Okay, I'm a Christian, but I'm guessing most of their visitors are not. Apparently the algorithm only recognizes that you used a word, not whether you are for or against something. I wonder if vegetarian sites end up getting ads from the Beef Producers Association, etc. On second thought, maybe they're quite happy about this: All these Christian groups are paying advertising dollars to an atheist web site. Nothing like getting your opponents to donate to you!

@cellocgw: Or has it?

Amazon posts $21.27 billion in 2012 Q4 revenues, makes tinier profit of $97 million

http://www.engadget.com/2013/01/29/amazon-calendar-q4-2012-earnings/

chubertdev:

typo in the article: "recieved"

i before e except after WTF

Isn't it wierd how people get that rule wrong all the time?

¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:

chubertdev:

typo in the article: "recieved"

i before e except after WTF

Isn't it wierd how people get that rule wrong all the time?

you're comment is two funny

One point nobody is taking into account regarding competitors' ads on the Home Depot website: who pays for those ads?

That's right, Home Depot's competitors. So Home Depot is effectively removing a couple pennies from their competitors' pockets and putting them into their own pockets. Seems like a win to me.

Ben Jammin:

Xarthaneon the Unclear:

That's not (real) Latin; that's Lorem Ipsum, a repeating set of quasi-latin words used pretty much to test typefaces.

Lorem Ipsum on the Wikipedia

CAPTCHA: sino - Akismet committed a sino when it flagged this comment as spam! :(

Do I spy a grammar nazi of a dead language?

No. Lorem Ipsum is not a language at all. I'm actually a semantics-nazi.

Which is worse: semantics-nazi, or language-nazi? Discuss!

CAPTCHA: tego - Leggo my tego!

I have actually had a client ask me to put Google ads on a page because "It would make it look more professional".

jay:

1. I recently bought a new scanner. I spent a few hours shopping around and then ordered it. For months after, I got ads for scanners. Too late guys, I already bought one. How many scanners do you think I need?

If you'd bought the scanner on eBay, you'd instead be getting notices from them asking if you'd now like to sell it to someone else.

chubertdev:

Bob:

Maybe I should set my browser to start taking cookies...

sounds like they need to start showing tin foil ads to you...

Thanks, got plenty! :)

da Doctah:

jay:

1. I recently bought a new scanner. I spent a few hours shopping around and then ordered it. For months after, I got ads for scanners. Too late guys, I already bought one. How many scanners do you think I need?

If you'd bought the scanner on eBay, you'd instead be getting notices from them asking if you'd now like to sell it to someone else.

I did buy my scanner on eBay. I have never once gotten a notice from eBay asking if I'd like to sell it to someone else.

Friedrice the Great:

I did buy my scanner on eBay. I have never once gotten a notice from eBay asking if I'd like to sell it to someone else.

That's because their proprietary algorithm keeps track of how many times it has been resold. After three times, the bell curve shows, it is likely to be ancient, worn out, and on the verge of breaking, meaning the fourth sale will have a high probability of turning into a complaint that costs customer service hours to resolve.

In other words, you're the last sucker in a line of suckers.

Sam:

Friedrice the Great:

I did buy my scanner on eBay. I have never once gotten a notice from eBay asking if I'd like to sell it to someone else.

That's because their proprietary algorithm keeps track of how many times it has been resold. After three times, the bell curve shows, it is likely to be ancient, worn out, and on the verge of breaking, meaning the fourth sale will have a high probability of turning into a complaint that costs customer service hours to resolve.

In other words, you're the last sucker in a line of suckers.

Well, the scanner (Canon LIDE30) is old. It works flawlessly.

Anyway, eBay has customer service????

I'm not actually bugged by Adwords bugs. Just like ads in newspapers[*], I don't have to look at them and they help bring information for free on the internet or at reduced prices in newspapers[**]. Occasionally I glance at them anyway, for entertainment value, such as the following.

I figured out that I was formatting GPT disks inadequately, because even though Linux and other reasonable clients had no problem, Microsoft is supposed to own a chunk of every GPT disk out there.

The internet has some useful articles about disk partitions. Posted for free. Paid by Adwords ...

Including Adwords about toilet partitions.

OK, let advertisers support those kind authors. It doesn't hurt me.

[* Yeah I still pay people to murder trees.]
[** OK I give up, some practices of antiquity just can't be explained.]

jay:

1. I recently bought a new scanner. I spent a few hours shopping around and then ordered it. For months after, I got ads for scanners. Too late guys, I already bought one. How many scanners do you think I need?

2. A co-worker of mine posted on our company chat line the brand name of a product that he liked. He didn't say what it was and the brand was unfamiliar to me, so out of curiousity I looked it up. Turned out to be a brand of cigar. I don't smoke, so I moved on. For weeks after I got ads for cigars.

Protip: install Ghostery, enable do-not-track, make a cookie whitelist. Make sure you have a dynamic IP too (otherwise, though luck). You'll be surprised how much better the web looks when you're not being followed around by everything you did.