Comment On A True Ninja Hacker Is Like The Wind

oh my...

Is it me, or is that ninja wearing high heels?

And how, pray-tell, is this really a wtf?

At first I thought it was going to have something to do with those sippy birds.



Nothing says 'sexy' like a ninja in heels.

I hope she's a girl.

Do my eyes deceive me, or is that ninja wearing 3-inch heels?

I know Uma Therman is really popular right now . . . but . . . c'mon.

One of the better WTFs of late.  WTF?!?

Captcha text and i eat paste

Hrm ... Why does a new guy have access to highly secure racks that are apparently se sensitive that they have sensors on the panel doors ... Without supervision?

umm..
 ok we need to prolly maybe work on the writing skills.
 not terrible, but there are some words that dont fit.

The real WTF is trying to make a non-WTF into a WTF by adding gratuitous ninjas. WTF?

Forget that the ninja is wearing 3" high heels...

Did you notice that she's on a table (ok, so it's not wooden), taking a picture of a printout...

R.Flowers:

Nothing says 'sexy' like a ninja in heels.

I hope she's a girl.

Look at the pose -- I think most men would have a hard time doing that (esp in heels!), and would probably look a bit bulkier.

Many years ago, the company who owned me had just put in a new document imaging system, the heart of which was a massive (Subzero refrigerator-sized) "jukebox" filled with WORM disks (and robotic contraptions that fed them into one of four drives). The thing probably held at least 40GB of near-line data. Wow! The backup process for this beast was a WTF unto itself.

In any event, I got a call one evening from the night operator, saying the jukebox was off-line. I tried some basic stuff over the phone, but it seemed like the jukebox was truly dead. I hopped in the car and drove the ten miles to the office. Upon arriving, I saw the jukebox controller PC with a big SCSI error on the screen and the night operator peering into the opened back of the jukebox.

"Um, has the door been open the whole time?"

"Yeah, I wanted to see how it worked."

I stared at him for a long moment, reached past him and shut the door, then hit "Retry." The jukebox whirred to life. I left without saying a word.

Raider:

Hrm ... Why does a new guy have access to highly secure racks that are apparently se sensitive that they have sensors on the panel doors ... Without supervision?

That's easy... He has acess so he can pull the weekly backups of "terabytes of highly-sensitive corporate data." 

Alone...Unsupervised...with tapes from "25+ different servers"....

Hmm... wonder if we should check EBay for slightly used backup tapes....

We all need to start searching through the source code of our systems.  Alex is obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

Am I missing something, or is the real WTF that the ninja (man or woman, whichever) is taking pictures of the backup tapes?

Anonymous:

We all need to start searching through the source code of our systems.  Alex is obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

Haha .. I submitted a WTF, no code snippet but its some serious WTF shit hehe .. Just have to hope he finds it good enough to be a daily otherwise I'll add it to the side bar.

Anonymous:

Raider:

Hrm ... Why does a new guy have access to highly secure racks that are apparently se sensitive that they have sensors on the panel doors ... Without supervision?

That's easy... He has acess so he can pull the weekly backups of "terabytes of highly-sensitive corporate data." 

Alone...Unsupervised...with tapes from "25+ different servers"....

Hmm... wonder if we should check EBay for slightly used backup tapes....

HAHAHAHAHA ... I would never trust a 'new guy' to manage backups, especially with supposedly highly sensitive data and secure rack systems.

Anonymous:

Upon arriving, I saw the jukebox controller PC with a big SCSI error on the screen and the night operator peering into the opened back of the jukebox.

LOL i had to read that twice... the first time i thought it read he was peeing into the back of the jukebox lol

The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

Anonymous:

Many years ago, the company who owned me had just put in a new document imaging system, the heart of which was a massive (Subzero refrigerator-sized) "jukebox" filled with WORM disks (and robotic contraptions that fed them into one of four drives). The thing probably held at least 40GB of near-line data. Wow! The backup process for this beast was a WTF unto itself.

In any event, I got a call one evening from the night operator, saying the jukebox was off-line. I tried some basic stuff over the phone, but it seemed like the jukebox was truly dead. I hopped in the car and drove the ten miles to the office. Upon arriving, I saw the jukebox controller PC with a big SCSI error on the screen and the night operator peering into the opened back of the jukebox.

"Um, has the door been open the whole time?"

"Yeah, I wanted to see how it worked."

I stared at him for a long moment, reached past him and shut the door, then hit "Retry." The jukebox whirred to life. I left without saying a word.

I hope you at least gave him the you-moron leering stare

Complaints about quality aside, check out the actual photograph.  TDWTF is getting all classy and stuff.  Next thing you know, we'll have stippled portraits of each author like the Wall Street Journal.

satan 666:

Forget that the ninja is wearing 3" high heels...

Did you notice that she's on a table (ok, so it's not wooden), taking a picture of a printout...

With a camera that's off...

It looks like one of the Canon Powershot models, so if it were on, the lens would be extended.  In the picture, it's flat, meaning that either the ninja is looking through existing pictures (clearing space?) or the camera is off.  In any case, it's not taking pictures.

Oscar L:

Complaints about quality aside, check out the actual photograph.  TDWTF is getting all classy and stuff.  Next thing you know, we'll have stippled portraits of each author like the Wall Street Journal.

In a few months, we might even have inline images with properly wrapped text...

satan 666:

It looks like one of the Canon Powershot models, so if it were on, the lens would be extended.  In the picture, it's flat, meaning that either the ninja is looking through existing pictures (clearing space?) or the camera is off.  In any case, it's not taking pictures.

And of course, you look through the viewfinder to take a picture with a camera that's got a 2" LCD.

The fingers look rather masculine - no fingernail polish at least.


In the Ukraine they say you can tell a lot about an individuals personality just by looking at their shoes. Ok, I'm not going any further with this one.

Anonymous:

satan 666:

Forget that the ninja is wearing 3" high heels...

Did you notice that she's on a table (ok, so it's not wooden), taking a picture of a printout...

With a camera that's off...

It looks like one of the Canon Powershot models, so if it were on, the lens would be extended.  In the picture, it's flat, meaning that either the ninja is looking through existing pictures (clearing space?) or the camera is off.  In any case, it's not taking pictures.

Or

1. Ninja can turn on the camera without looking at the power button. 

2. Her ninja friend is taking a picture to of her trying to take a picture to laugh at her later. 

3. Ninja is blonde.

captca: getting giggity

Given that the pictured ninja is a ninjette, the story should have been about the hapless security team catching the ninjettes in an awkward position, resulting in the whole thing turning into a sexy party.

Or, at least, Boris could have accidentally clubbed the perp with the putter (no cheap-ass putter mind you, but rather an expensive Scotty Cameron design).


Oh, I just noticed, each keypress I type results in two Firebug errors.

1422 1436 1446, etc. etc.


Nice.

neven:

satan 666:

It looks like one of the Canon Powershot models, so if it were on, the lens would be extended.  In the picture, it's flat, meaning that either the ninja is looking through existing pictures (clearing space?) or the camera is off.  In any case, it's not taking pictures.

And of course, you look through the viewfinder to take a picture with a camera that's got a 2" LCD.

Hey, I know I'm not the only one who is mourning the loss of good optical viewfinders.

That camera's got one, but the ones on cameras like that are all pretty poor. They're absolutely tiny.

Did you notice that she's on a table (ok, so it's not wooden), taking a picture of a printout...

She's designing her webpage.

Anonymous:

satan 666:

Forget that the ninja is wearing 3" high heels...

Did you notice that she's on a table (ok, so it's not wooden), taking a picture of a printout...

With a camera that's off...

It looks like one of the Canon Powershot models, so if it were on, the lens would be extended.  In the picture, it's flat, meaning that either the ninja is looking through existing pictures (clearing space?) or the camera is off.  In any case, it's not taking pictures.

So there's a wtf in the wtf in the wtf? Owwww - head - hurts....

FACT:  mating with a female ninja is awesome because she's so hot and totally sweet.  Immediately after the totally sweet climax, she cuts your head off with a ninja sword, hard.  It is so awesome.

WTF or not, I needed the laugh and this story delivered it. Thanks.  My compliments to the contributor(s).

Anonymous:

Given that the pictured ninja is a ninjette, the story should have been about the hapless security team catching the ninjettes in an awkward position, resulting in the whole thing turning into a sexy party.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I never thought that it could happen to me....

You'd be surprised at how useful 3" heels are when debugging.  They allow precision keyboard mashing [much more accurate than pudgy clenched fists] as well as aid in ... coercing ... any recalcitrant keyboard monkeys nearby into assisting you.

The true WTF is that all of you are drooling over the picture as if you've never seen a woman dressed in ninja gear.

You are so inexperienced...

The true WTF is that you make it sound like you've seen a ninjette before now. Clearly this is impossible, since ninjettes are never so sloppy as to leave witnesses alive. So clearly this photo is one of a professional ninjette impersonator.

marvin_rabbit:

Anonymous:

Given that the pictured ninja is a ninjette, the story should have been about the hapless security team catching the ninjettes in an awkward position, resulting in the whole thing turning into a sexy party.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I never thought that it could happen to me....

I was working the grave shift in the high-security data center when my pager alerted me to a security breach in the server room. I unlocked the thick blue-steel doors to discover a black-clad ninja squating on a table case taking pictures of our most sensitive security files! The ninja stood upright (I noticed it was a woman with large breasts pushing against the fabric of her ninja uniform) and removed her hood. Long blonde hair spilled out around her fair face. "Well if it isn't the night watchman" she said as she started walking towards me, unbuttoning the buttons of her shirt...

Anonymous:

marvin_rabbit:

Anonymous:

Given that the pictured ninja is a ninjette, the story should have been about the hapless security team catching the ninjettes in an awkward position, resulting in the whole thing turning into a sexy party.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I never thought that it could happen to me....

I was working the grave shift in the high-security data center when my pager alerted me to a security breach in the server room. I unlocked the thick blue-steel doors to discover a black-clad ninja squating on a table case taking pictures of our most sensitive security files! The ninja stood upright (I noticed it was a woman with large breasts pushing against the fabric of her ninja uniform) and removed her hood. Long blonde hair spilled out around her fair face. "Well if it isn't the night watchman" she said as she started walking towards me, unbuttoning the buttons of her shirt...

 

... and when the final button was undone, her breasts fell out, they reached her knees ... She removed her mask to reveal she was 95 years old! ...

ROFL

Anonymous:

marvin_rabbit:

Anonymous:

Given that the pictured ninja is a ninjette, the story should have been about the hapless security team catching the ninjettes in an awkward position, resulting in the whole thing turning into a sexy party.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I never thought that it could happen to me....

I was working the grave shift in the high-security data center when my pager alerted me to a security breach in the server room. I unlocked the thick blue-steel doors to discover a black-clad ninja squating on a table case taking pictures of our most sensitive security files! The ninja stood upright (I noticed it was a woman with large breasts pushing against the fabric of her ninja uniform) and removed her hood. Long blonde hair spilled out around her fair face. "Well if it isn't the night watchman" she said as she started walking towards me, unbuttoning the buttons of her shirt...

Then, without warning, she yanked on the powershot. It protruded further and further until.... (someone else continue here)

satan 666:

And how, pray-tell, is this really a wtf?

Ach, get over it.  It's a bloody funny story! :-)

kipthegreat:

FACT:  mating with a female ninja is awesome because she's so hot and totally sweet.  Immediately after the totally sweet climax, she cuts your head off with a ninja sword, hard.  It is so awesome.

Is the ninjette's name "Black Widow"?

GoatCheez:

The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Anonymous:

GoatCheez:

The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Well his example was easy.. I mean everyone should know that xFF=255, right?  So 256=x100, and 257=101, no math required, just counting.  Not sure how long it would have taken me to make the 257 to 101 connection without being given a hint though.

Anonymous:

GoatCheez:

The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

That one really isn't too hard to see where it comes from. 0x101 = 1*16^2 + 1 = 257. It's not unreasonable to think that someone would recognize 0x100 as being 256, then 0x101 and 257 both being one more than that. It's still reasonably impressive that someone would spot this just out of the blue, but it by no means takes a calculator.

Anonymous:

GoatCheez:

The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Random ???
0x101 has only 3 bits set and you really should know that 256 = 2^8 = 0x100, so just add 1 to it...

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

GoatCheez:

The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Random ???
0x101 has only 3 bits set and you really should know that 256 = 2^8 = 0x100, so just add 1 to it...

Um, 0x101 has only two bits set

 

JBL:

R.Flowers:

Nothing says 'sexy' like a ninja in heels.

I hope she's a girl.

Look at the pose -- I think most men would have a hard time doing that (esp in heels!), and would probably look a bit bulkier.

Just compare the ninja's wrists with the Cambrian House girl. The ninja must be of the opposite sex.

Anonymous:

JBL:

R.Flowers:

Nothing says 'sexy' like a ninja in heels.

I hope she's a girl.

Look at the pose -- I think most men would have a hard time doing that (esp in heels!), and would probably look a bit bulkier.

Just compare the ninja's wrists with the Cambrian House girl. The ninja must be of the opposite sex.

True in this case, but I know some (ahem) women for whom this rationale doesn't quite apply.

Anonymous:

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Seriously, anybody in IT should be able to do that at least up to 0x100, and for round numbers like 32768. Where are the days that most programmers could read ASCII in a hexdump (just from the numbers, not the convenient modern format with the text next to it)

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Seriously, anybody in IT should be able to do that at least up to 0x100, and for round numbers like 32768. Where are the days that most programmers could read ASCII in a hexdump (just from the numbers, not the convenient modern format with the text next to it)

I used to be able to read both ASCII-code *and* hex-bytecode without the ASCII translation, but that was a *long* time ago; doubt if I still could, at least not without some practice.

The WTF is that the WTF servers have been hijacked by some lass ass blogger obsessed with mystery novels and boys in high heels.