The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Upon arriving, I saw the jukebox controller PC with a big SCSI error on the screen and the night operator peering into the opened back of the jukebox.

It was funnier when I read it as "the night operator peeing into the opened.....

marvin_rabbit · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

isaphrael:
You'd be surprised at how useful 3" heels are when debugging. They allow precision keyboard mashing [much more accurate than pudgy clenched fists] as well as aid in ... coercing ... any recalcitrant keyboard monkeys nearby into assisting you.

Alice,

Can you please tell Dilbert that his status report is due.

Thanks. Wally

RyuO · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
The true WTF is that all of you are drooling over the picture as if you've never seen a woman dressed in ninja gear.

You are so inexperienced...

Too bad, but it's a man - you can tell by the bones of the hands and wrist. He's also not a ninja - ninjas have swords with a square tsuba, not to mention quiet footgear.

Dude's probably ready for a night out in the East Village or the Castro District, which is where WTFers could evidently gain some much-needed experience. Know what you're getting into, if you'll pardon the expression.

hmemcpy · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

"What's with the Mission Impossible III bullsh*t, Milo? You're a geek!"

-AntiTrust

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

RyuO:
Anonymous:
The true WTF is that all of you are drooling over the picture as if you've never seen a woman dressed in ninja gear.

You are so inexperienced...

Too bad, but it's a man - you can tell by the bones of the hands and wrist. He's also not a ninja - ninjas have swords with a square tsuba, not to mention quiet footgear.

Dude's probably ready for a night out in the East Village or the Castro District, which is where WTFers could evidently gain some much-needed experience. Know what you're getting into, if you'll pardon the expression.

How did I know...

Ninjas use whatever is handy - Katanas are better than straight swords, and cheap too, so why not use one? Footwear should be quieter, but oh well. A real ninja would probably wear office normal clothes and walk into the machine room during lunch.

Carnildo · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
We all need to start searching through the source code of our systems. Alex is obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

I would, except there are enough rants about the unusability of Xcode out there already.

Alex Papadimoulis · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Since there seems to be a question about the gender of the ninja, here's another pic of the corporate ninja: http://www.istockphoto.com/file_closeup/people_specific_attributes/gender/only_females/1561974_ninja_in_the_office.php?id=1561974

I'm sure you could find more of the model on iStockPhoto.

Carnildo · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

neven:
satan 666:

It looks like one of the Canon Powershot models, so if it were on, the lens would be extended. In the picture, it's flat, meaning that either the ninja is looking through existing pictures (clearing space?) or the camera is off. In any case, it's not taking pictures.

And of course, you look through the viewfinder to take a picture with a camera that's got a 2" LCD.

Of course! The LCD is too bright to use at night (except as a flashlight), too dim to use in broad daylight, and not sensitive enough to line up shots on low-contrast subjects.

RyuO · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:
Since there seems to be a question about the gender of the ninja, here's another pic of the corporate ninja: http://www.istockphoto.com/file_closeup/people_specific_attributes/gender/only_females/1561974_ninja_in_the_office.php?id=1561974

I'm sure you could find more of the model on iStockPhoto.

Dang, maybe *I* spent too much time in the East Village... or could steroids be involved?

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

RyuO:
He's also not a ninja - ninjas have swords with a square tsuba, not to mention quiet footgear.

Maybe there are different requirements for androgynous ninjas.

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

satan 666:

Is it me, or is that ninja wearing high heels?

And how, pray-tell, is this really a wtf?

Welcome to today's gender confused data ninja.

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

That ninja's not going to get many photos with her camera switched off like that...

triso · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
I stared at him for a long moment, reached past him and shut the door, then hit "Retry." The jukebox whirred to life. I left without saying a word.

A perfect Zen reply.

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

So the WTF is this lame attempt to annoy technical people with tarted up prose when a terse statement of a marvellously spectacularly inappropriate or inept use of technology cannot be done because there is no such WTF-worthy material here?

In other words, not only is this not a description of a WTF, it is also written in a highly styled fashion, inappropriate and annoying to at least one (soon to be) former member of the TDWTF audience.

Jason · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
In other words, not only is this not a description of a WTF, it is also written in a highly styled fashion, inappropriate and annoying to at least one (soon to be) former member of the TDWTF audience.

Well, *I* enjoyed it. I like the more code-related WTFs too, but I see no reason not to switch it up a little from time to time..

mnature · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Uh, this one is rather a no-brainer conversion. Everyone knows that 100 in hex is 16 * 16 in decimal, which is 256. From that, it is simply adding a 1 to 256 to get 257 decimal.

Learn To Count.

Bet you can't convert ASCII in your head, either.

Mike Rod · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

satan 666:
Forget that the ninja is wearing 3" high heels...

Did you notice that she's on a table (ok, so it's not wooden), taking a picture of a printout...

Sounds like she wanted a more "Aero"(tm) look

Mike Rod

baldu · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

You're kidding, right? Shouldn't this have been posted over at TheDailyOverisight.com?

Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode: "The case of the 'only hot water in the coffee pot because someone forgot to add grounds.'" Ooh, I'm getting chills already.

Sgt. Zim · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

RyuO:
Alex Papadimoulis:
Since there seems to be a question about the gender of the ninja, here's another pic of the corporate ninja: http://www.istockphoto.com/file_closeup/people_specific_attributes/gender/only_females/1561974_ninja_in_the_office.php?id=1561974

I'm sure you could find more of the model on iStockPhoto.

Dang, maybe *I* spent too much time in the East Village... or could steroids be involved?

I was with you ... Those hands are scary.

Of course, after looking at the photo Alex linked, I'm still not so sure, irrespective of what the name of the catalog says ... Hmm. Maybe I'll have to research this model further.

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

WTF !? You're telling me that there are things beyond FF ?

The mind boggles and the goggles... they do nothing!

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

satan 666:
Anonymous:
I stared at him for a long moment, reached past him and shut the door, then hit "Retry." The jukebox whirred to life. I left without saying a word.

I hope you at least gave him the you-moron leering stare

No - he disappeared like he came, as a thief in the night.

Omnifarious · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Seems to me that they ought to buy the appropriate outfit for the new guy. Or, perhaps just a headband to indicate his 133t ninja status.

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

mnature:
Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Uh, this one is rather a no-brainer conversion. Everyone knows that 100 in hex is 16 * 16 in decimal, which is 256. From that, it is simply adding a 1 to 256 to get 257 decimal.

Learn To Count.

Bet you can't convert ASCII in your head, either.

So, whenever you see two numbers you think "Hey, I'm going to convert them into alternative number systems and see if they are the same!"

If you're so smart, what's the hex code for 12345?

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Apparently, you'd never do well as an IT worker because you convert between bases far too slowly. 12345 (base 19) == 23733 (base 16)

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
So, whenever you see two numbers you think "Hey, I'm going to convert them into alternative number systems and see if they are the same!"

If you're so smart, what's the hex code for 12345?

Bitch, are you retarded? This is a 4th year CS student wondering why he gets 257 instead of 0x101.

captcha: java

Jeff S · 2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
So the WTF is this lame attempt to annoy technical people with tarted up prose when a terse statement of a marvellously spectacularly inappropriate or inept use of technology cannot be done because there is no such WTF-worthy material here?

In other words, not only is this not a description of a WTF, it is also written in a highly styled fashion, inappropriate and annoying to at least one (soon to be) former member of the TDWTF audience.

I, for one, will be very sad to see you go. Alex has a lot of nerve, I agree. You should demand your membership fees back.

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

I am not a true programmer because I use AJAX.

Yes, I said it...AJAX.

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
satan 666:
And how, pray-tell, is this really a wtf?

Ach, get over it. It's a bloody funny story! :-)

If that was funny you need to get out more.

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
I am not a true programmer because I use AJAX.

Yes, I said it...AJAX.

<obscure reference>
AJAX: Stronger than bugs
</obscure reference>

2006-07-20 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
The true WTF is that this story was the strongest WTF for the day, even though yesterday a college student working on his final project.... Ok, I'll take my time.

A little while ago, a person was asking for help in a programming channel I frequent. Naturally, I started helping the person, and everything was going pretty well. A week later, I noticed that his person was having trouble, and that 3-5 people were helping him. I wanted to chime in, but was busy at the moment, so I left him and the 3-5 helpers. Well, about another week later, maybe a little more, I see this same person again in the channel, and he informs me that he is STILL on the same problem, and he might just give up because he's been unable to solve it for two weeks.

The Problem:
He is using C#, and is making a call to a library. The library returns a struct. He says the struct has the wrong values for it's properties when it is returned. I assume he is of some intelligence, so I go about trying to fool with the structure, thinking that it's byte-alignment or something of that sort. Finally, I ask what is the value that the property is giving. It was 257. I asked him what was it supposed to be. He said 101. I looked at those numbers for a minute, then said: "257 is 101 in hex, does this mean anything to you?". Well, you can figure what happened after that lol. He was reading a C header for the values of his error codes. He knows now that 0x101 is the same as 257. But don't be misled. The WTF isn't that he was close to graduating with a degree in Computer Science and that he didn't fully understand the concept of numbers represented in different bases. The TRUE wtf is the NO ONE in the 2 WEEKS that he had been helped had EVER NOTICED that the value he was expecting (101) is the value he recieved (257) in hex notation!

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

It is hella easy if you know what you're looking at. 0xFF is 255, which is easy to remember at least. 0x101 is 2 more. Easy. I can mentally do the conversions just by having used them so much; its become rote memorization for a lot of them.

Captcha: jiggles, like teh ninja boobies

Maurits · 2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Well, yeah. And octal. (Of course, binary to octal to hex to Base-64 are all trivial. It's just the decimal system that's f---ed up.)

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Raider:
Hrm ... Why does a new guy have access to highly secure racks that are apparently se sensitive that they have sensors on the panel doors ... Without supervision?

New guys are the only ones allowed into the datacentre. They're the only ones who aren't yet pissed off at upper-mangement for screwing them around.

Captcha: quality. No comment.

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
I was working the grave shift in the high-security data center when my pager alerted me to a security breach in the server room. I unlocked the thick blue-steel doors to discover a black-clad ninja squating on a table case taking pictures of our most sensitive security files! The ninja stood upright (I noticed it was a woman with large breasts pushing against the fabric of her ninja uniform) and removed her hood. Long blonde hair spilled out around her fair face. "Well if it isn't the night watchman" she said as she started walking towards me, unbuttoning the buttons of her shirt...

I'm guessing that the text stopped here because she just removed your typing fingers, typed in the captcha ("foxtrot") and laughed at what pathetic forum software you were willing to tolerate.

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

tap ... tap ... tap ... tap ...

the ninja was here ;)
It must have stolen the WTF somehow :P

tap ... tap ... tap ... tap ...

chaptcha is captcha (thats innovative g)

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
So the WTF is this lame attempt to annoy technical people with tarted up prose when a terse statement of a marvellously spectacularly inappropriate or inept use of technology cannot be done because there is no such WTF-worthy material here?

In other words, not only is this not a description of a WTF, it is also written in a highly styled fashion, inappropriate and annoying to at least one (soon to be) former member of the TDWTF audience.

How about accepting that there is more to IT than the bits that you are personally familiar with? I expect that for anyone who has worked at a secure data centre this is a pretty major WTF. As others have said, what in the name of &deity; is someone who doesn't even know about shutting doors doing in the centre alone?

I quite enjoyed the write-up as well. Why not have a bit of variety?

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

It's Paula actually.

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:

The real WTF is that you apparently had a calculator surgically implanted into your brain, for the purposes of converting between different bases.

Seriously, is ANYBODY able to convert random numbers between decimal and hex by themselves?

Seriously, anybody in IT should be able to do that at least up to 0x100, and for round numbers like 32768. Where are the days that most programmers could read ASCII in a hexdump (just from the numbers, not the convenient modern format with the text next to it)

Why should anybody in IT be able to do this? really, you hex counting lot need to get out more.

JernejL · 2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Do my eyes deceive me, or is that ninja wearing 3-inch heels?

I know Uma Therman is really popular right now . . . but . . . c'mon.

celestial body? - stargate fans should know what im talking about :P

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

Why should anybody in IT be able to do this? really, you hex counting lot need to get out more.

Knowgement about hexadecimal numbers is usefull for standard types:

#define MAX 2000

char t;
int * buf = (int *)malloc( MAX );

for (t=0;t<MAX;t++){
buf[t] = 33;
}

int k;

for (k=0;k<MAX;k++){

buf[k] = 33;

}

Its also usefull to work with bitmask:

#define AUX_SOUND_ENABLED 0x04
...

pSoundCard = *pSoundCard | AUX_SOUND_ENABLED;

Debugging, even on high level programing, generate outputs with hexadecimal data.

Also is need to lean about hexadecimal to reverse engineer file formats. Its easy to figure out the original design if you can read hex.

Example: Cheating Carmagedoom whas posible with a hex editor. You can add mass to some vehicle to make a formidable one. Adding money to your civilization savegame, etc.

Phil the ruler of heck · 2006-07-21 Reply Admin

JBL:
Am I missing something, or is the real WTF that the ninja (man or woman, whichever) is taking pictures of the backup tapes?

Well, they don't look like backup tapes to me...

Was it Einstein who said, "I can write down a complete backup of your entire database on the back of an old envelope"?

Phil the ruler of heck · 2006-07-21 Reply Admin

yes:
If you are on a foreign keyboard, and you need to send a email... Is handy to code a perl script to generate the @ symbol:

#!perl
print chr(0x40);

Umm... Exactly how did you type the #!(); on the foreign keyboard? If you figured out where those characters were, why couldn't you find the @ as well?

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Many years ago, the company who owned me had just put in a new document imaging system, the heart of which was a massive (Subzero refrigerator-sized) "jukebox" filled with WORM disks (and robotic contraptions that fed them into one of four drives). The thing probably held at least 40GB of near-line data. Wow! The backup process for this beast was a WTF unto itself.

In any event, I got a call one evening from the night operator, saying the jukebox was off-line. I tried some basic stuff over the phone, but it seemed like the jukebox was truly dead. I hopped in the car and drove the ten miles to the office. Upon arriving, I saw the jukebox controller PC with a big SCSI error on the screen and the night operator peering into the opened back of the jukebox.

"Um, has the door been open the whole time?"

"Yeah, I wanted to see how it worked."

I stared at him for a long moment, reached past him and shut the door, then hit "Retry." The jukebox whirred to life. I left without saying a word.

So there I was a few years ago at a company with a new WORM disk management system (or the "jukebox" as it was known) working the night shift. So one night I open the thing up to see how it works...

KenW · 2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

In other words, not only is this not a description of a WTF, it is also written in a highly styled fashion, inappropriate and annoying to at least one (soon to be) former member of the TDWTF audience.

Gee... We'll miss you when you're gone.

This is a WTF. The subtitle below the TDWTF logo at the top of this page clearly says "Curious Perversions in Information Technology". I don't see anything there that mentions "only in some programming language's source code", do you?

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

I admit I have a CS degree.... and that hex conversation was NOT my forte. I could not have made that connection. At all. Ever. Okay, maybe now. I still don't get what xFF = 255 means. Something about letters and 8 digit conversions holds head Mommy!

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

WTF is a Ninja doing with high heels?

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
WTF is a Ninja doing with high heels?

The better to kick you with, my dear.

GoatCheez · 2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Oh gawd... The TRUE wtf is that people with CS degrees can't read hex at all. No wait, I think the bigger WTF is that some people with CS degrees don't know why/how/when numbers are represented in different bases. Seriously, the FIRST thing any programmer should learn is that numbers prefixed with a 0x are noted in hexadecimal. THIS IS BASIC! Some of the comments on my little anecdote have assured me now that CS degrees are COMPLETELY USELESS. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL DO THEY TEACH YOU!?!?!? Seems to me like instead of teaching computer science, they now teach about computer science... I'm sure it's nice to know that the x86 community is currently in a transition from a 32bit to 64bit processor achitecture, but do any of these grads know WHY?

Ok, I can't say that ALL CS degrees are completely useless. I would expect more from someone with a doctorate from MIT or someplace like that. However, when 90+% of the graduates can't even determine that a number is written in hexadecimal notation, it's impossible to assume that any CS graduate is knowledgable in their field. This is a serious problem that hurts the true programmers. It seems to me that colleges are passing students in CS simply because they need to keep the numbers up. I honestly believe that at least 33% of CS grads do not deserve their degree.

Think about it from the employer perspective. The employer needs a programmer for whatever reason. They start taking resumes of CS grads. They interview ten people. They deem that all of them just don't quite meet their expectations. Do you think the employer is going to think that it's because CS degrees just aren't what they used to be? I don't think so. I think that the employer would more logically assume that they need someone with a higher degree, someone with a degree from a better institution, or someone with their degree and a bunch of certifications (the last is the definitely not the smartest choice). That conclusion is logical based on the assumption that all CS graduates will be adept in their field. That assumption is probably made by 99.9% of employers. What the employer doesn't realize is that had they interviewed ten more people, they would have found the candidate close to what they were looking for. Now, instead, they have to pay someone more money for the same job simply because the believe that an average CS graduate can't do what they want. If things were stricter, then they might have found that they didn't even need a programmer with a CS degree. They would have interviewed 10 people, most of which would be qualified, and would have then realized that they might even want to go lower on their requirements. Good programmers are being put out of work because of colleges giving CS degrees to almost anyone. It seriously pisses me off.

Professor: "Oh, yes, there's this thing called hexidecimal. It basically works like this.... Don't worry about it though, you won't ever have to use it. Just know the term, it'll make you sound smarter."

2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Many years ago, the company who owned me had just put in a new document imaging system, the heart of which was a massive (Subzero refrigerator-sized) "jukebox" filled with WORM disks (and robotic contraptions that fed them into one of four drives). The thing probably held at least 40GB of near-line data. Wow! The backup process for this beast was a WTF unto itself.

In any event, I got a call one evening from the night operator, saying the jukebox was off-line. I tried some basic stuff over the phone, but it seemed like the jukebox was truly dead.

A long time ago, I also worked on a document management system hooked up to a WORM jukebox. Our system was taken offline when an IBM engineer tripped over the SCSI cable to the beast, pulling the SCSI controller out of the computer driving the beast. They were very nice about replacing the motherboard.

cconroy · 2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
WTF is a Ninja doing with high heels?

Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker.

Sgt. Zim · 2006-07-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Many years ago, the company who owned me had just put in a new document imaging system, the heart of which was a massive (Subzero refrigerator-sized) "jukebox" filled with WORM disks (and robotic contraptions that fed them into one of four drives). The thing probably held at least 40GB of near-line data. Wow! The backup process for this beast was a WTF unto itself.

In any event, I got a call one evening from the night operator, saying the jukebox was off-line. I tried some basic stuff over the phone, but it seemed like the jukebox was truly dead. I hopped in the car and drove the ten miles to the office. Upon arriving, I saw the jukebox controller PC with a big SCSI error on the screen and the night operator peering into the opened back of the jukebox.

"Um, has the door been open the whole time?"

"Yeah, I wanted to see how it worked."

I stared at him for a long moment, reached past him and shut the door, then hit "Retry." The jukebox whirred to life. I left without saying a word.

So there I was a few years ago at a company with a new WORM disk management system (or the "jukebox" as it was known) working the night shift. So one night I open the thing up to see how it works...

"Plus, I really had to pee..."

A True Ninja Hacker Is Like The Wind

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