A ticket came in marked urgent. When users were entering data in the header field, the spaces they were putting in kept getting mangled. This was in production, and had been in production for sometime.

Mike P picked up the ticket, and was able to track down the problem to a file called Strings.java. Yes, at some point, someone wrote a bunch of string helper functions and jammed them into a package. Of course, many of the functions were re-implementations of existing functions: reinvented wheels, now available in square.

We're going to start with the code, and then talk about it. You've seen it before, you know the chorus: bad date handling:

C_DATE($1)
C_STRING(7;$0)
C_STRING(3;$currentMonth)
C_STRING(2;$currentDay;$currentYear)
C_INTEGER($month)

$currentDay:=String(Day of($1))
$currentDay:=Change string("00";$currentDay;3-Length($currentDay))
$month:=Month of($1)
Case of

: ($month=1)
$currentMonth:="JAN"

: ($month=2)
$currentMonth:="FEB"

: ($month=3)
$currentMonth:="MAR"

: ($month=4)
$currentMonth:="APR"

: ($month=5)
$currentMonth:="MAY"

: ($month=6)
$currentMonth:="JUN"

: ($month=7)
$currentMonth:="JUL"

: ($month=8)
$currentMonth:="AUG"

: ($month=9)
$currentMonth:="SEP"

: ($month=10)
$currentMonth:="OCT"

: ($month=11)
$currentMonth:="NOV"

: ($month=12)
$currentMonth:="DEC"

End case

$currentYear:=Substring(String(Year of($1));3;2)

$0:=$currentDay+$currentMonth+$currentYear

Chris's company has an unusual deployment. They had a MySQL database hosted on Cloud Provider A. They hired a web development company, which wanted to host their website on Cloud Provider B. Someone said, "Yeah, this makes sense," and wrote the web dev company a sizable check. They app was built, tested, and released, and everyone was happy.

Everyone was happy until the first bills came in. They expected the data load for the entire month to be in the gigabytes range, based on their userbase and expected workloads. But for some reason, the data transfer was many terabytes, blowing up their operational budget for the year in a single month.

Guy picked up a bug ticket. There was a Hiesenbug; sometimes, saving a new entry in the application resulted in a duplicate primary key error, which should never happen.

The error was in the message-bus implementation someone else at the company had inner-platformed together, and it didn't take long to understand why it failed.

Tobbi sends us a true confession: they wrote this code.

The code we're about to look at is the kind of code that mixes JavaScript and PHP together, using PHP to generate JavaScript code. That's already a terrible anti-pattern, but Tobbi adds another layer to the whole thing.