• GWO (unregistered)

    Dwayne really is confused: pythons are constrictors, not venomous.

  • The Mole (unregistered)

    The real WTF is thinking HRMC has your email address, would be emailing you personal tax information in plain text, and then requesting you download an attachment that definitely doesn't have a virus in it honest.

    They're actually pretty good at just debiting you the refund if they've calculated they you've paid too much without any interaction needed.

  • The real WTF please stand up (unregistered)

    1. ???

    2. Profit!

  • J. Ranes (unregistered) in reply to GWO
    GWO:
    Dwayne really is confused: pythons are constrictors, not venomous.

    Now if it was a Web app written in ASP then I would completely understand his concern.

  • Tony green (unregistered)

    Reminds me of an incident back in the 1980s when I was working on mainframes.

    A colleague who'd had a lot of George IV experience overheard a recruitment consultant tell a potential employer:

    "He's got lots of experience in George the Fourth".

  • Aon (unregistered)

    The 'Computer Name' one really shouldn't be a WTF - the person clearly knows they're not particularly tech savvy, is still trying to be helpful, and is checking that they're sending the right information.

  • ANON (unregistered)

    What's wrong with PEARL?

  • anonymous (unregistered)

    I think I have a new form e-mail to send to Nigerian spammers...

  • (cs) in reply to Aon
    Aon:
    The 'Computer Name' one really shouldn't be a WTF - the person clearly knows they're not particularly tech savvy, is still trying to be helpful, and is checking that they're sending the right information.
    Oh, no. The WTF was the admin that instead of just scanning the network sent an email for everybody, and hopped people could follow his instructions.
  • Psuedonymous (unregistered)
    Rather than ping them all to test, I asked everyone
    Wait, you chose to interact with other human beings rather than using an automated tool? That's TRWTF right there.
  • Moose (unregistered)

    HMRC isn't a WTF, its classic spam/virus. They didn't even use the same font throughout the email.

    Recruiter email I don't understand either, as Pearl/Shell are both well known programming languages.

    The computer name is the engineer being idle and expecting non-technical folk to follow instructions.

    The only minor WTF is the first one.

    2/10. Can do better.

  • kjordan (unregistered) in reply to Moose

    Except in computer land, it's spell Perl.

  • Captcha: oppeto (unregistered) in reply to kjordan
    kjordan:
    Except in computer land, it's spell Perl.

    Thanks for the clarification, spelling expert.

  • Captcha: oppeto (unregistered)

    Oh, and I'll get the obligatory mention of a wooden table out the way for the email one.

  • Brian (unregistered) in reply to Moose
    Moose:
    Can do better.

    Go on then.

  • (cs) in reply to Moose
    Moose:
    Recruiter email I don't understand either, as Pearl/Shell are both well known programming languages.
    Besides it being pointed out that you don't know how to spell perl either, "shell" is not a language. TRWTFs are these comments.
  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Aon
    Aon:
    The 'Computer Name' one really shouldn't be a WTF - the person clearly knows they're not particularly tech savvy, is still trying to be helpful, and is checking that they're sending the right information.
    How tech savvy do you need to be to follow these simple instructions: Right-click the "My Computer" icon on the desktop and select Properties; select the "Computer Name" tab, and highlight and copy the text shown for "Full computer name". Paste it in an e-mail. It's really not difficult.

    If you have to worry about people who have their desktop icons hidden, or people who've removed the My Computer icon from their desktop, just tell them to press the Windows key and R at the same time and open "sysdm.cpl". A little bit more involved, but still something that I'd expect most idiots to be able to muddle through and get right.

  • foo AKA fooo (unregistered) in reply to Moose
    Moose:
    HMRC isn't a WTF, its classic spam/virus.
    Obviously. I guess they'd have had more luck selling python venom antidote to Dwayne and/or ask him for a donation for their legitimate church.
  • Oesor (unregistered) in reply to Mcoder
    Mcoder:
    Aon:
    The 'Computer Name' one really shouldn't be a WTF - the person clearly knows they're not particularly tech savvy, is still trying to be helpful, and is checking that they're sending the right information.
    Oh, no. The WTF was the admin that instead of just scanning the network sent an email for everybody, and hopped people could follow his instructions.

    Especially when this is all of two minutes of work to ping the network broadcast addresses and see what IPs show up in the arp table.

  • (cs)

    If we start counting ignorant recruiter emails as WTFs, we'll never get done....

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to DaveAronson
    DaveAronson:
    If we start counting ignorant recruiter emails as WTFs, we'll never get done....
    Good point. We'd be done sooner if we started counting the ones that aren't ignorant - those are more of a WTF anyway.
  • (cs) in reply to operagost

    To be fair, as already pointed out in another comment, PEARL is a programming language. Shell could be one of several programming languages.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to thosrtanner
    thosrtanner:
    To be fair, as already pointed out in another comment, PEARL is a programming language. Shell could be one of several programming languages.
    It should probably say "Perl/Shell", meaning shell scripts written in Perl. Oh, and PEARL?...
    PEARL (programming language):
    Not to be confused with Perl.
  • Doctor_of_ineptitude (unregistered) in reply to The Mole
    The Mole:
    The real WTF is thinking HRMC has your email address, would be emailing you personal tax information in plain text, and then requesting you download an attachment that definitely doesn't have a virus in it honest.

    They're actually pretty good at just debiting you the refund if they've calculated they you've paid too much without any interaction needed.

    Customs & Income Tax Dept. having your email-id is not a WTF. Even Indian Income Tax Dept. requires email-id for e-filing. And they do notify me if there is either a liability or a refund, though that part is (to my surprise) encrypted. And yes they can direct deposit in case of a refund. The return in GB part made it look like a spam, but I am hoping that the submitter (and the editors) did check the originating email address for validity. If they didn't I would like to introduce the submitter to Nigerian prince with an exciting business opportunity.

  • CommanderPirx (unregistered)

    Any recruiter shop that has a word "Cognizant" in their name (I've seen a few already) is a source of never ending WTF.

  • (cs)

    TRWTF once again is people trying to explain how each one is not a WTF. That, and Java.

  • (cs) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    How tech savvy do you need to be to follow these simple instructions: Right-click the "My Computer" icon on the desktop and select Properties; select the "Computer Name" tab, and highlight and copy the text shown for "Full computer name". Paste it in an e-mail.
    You are assuming this is (more or less) what Jacob L. asked the users to do. If all he asked for was “the computer’s name” without providing instructions on which name he wanted and how to find it, he’s TRWTF here.
  • P (unregistered) in reply to The Mole
    The Mole:
    The real WTF is thinking HRMC has your email address, would be emailing you personal tax information in plain text, and then requesting you download an attachment that definitely doesn't have a virus in it honest.

    They're actually pretty good at just debiting you the refund if they've calculated they you've paid too much without any interaction needed.

    The thing that really gives it away is that they suggest you use Firefox for the attachment. If this was actually HMRC they would be suggesting IE6....

  • Tim (unregistered) in reply to GWO
    GWO:
    Dwayne really is confused: pythons are constrictors, not venomous.

    Not to mention that Python the programming language is not named for the snake (though have integrated them into the icon).

    Perhaps Dwayne should be informed on the religious bent of all contributors to technology that he uses. Then he and his family can crawl into a cave and huddle shivering (no fire for you!) in the secure knowledge that technology is evil.

  • foo AKA fooo (unregistered) in reply to Tim
    Tim:
    GWO:
    Dwayne really is confused: pythons are constrictors, not venomous.

    Not to mention that Python the programming language is not named for the snake (though have integrated them into the icon).

    Perhaps Dwayne should be informed on the religious bent of all contributors to technology that he uses. Then he and his family can crawl into a cave and huddle shivering (no fire for you!) in the secure knowledge that technology is evil.

    Dear Mr. Dwayne,

    this is to inform you that pythons, the snakes, are neither venomous nor the namesake of Python, the programming language. Rather, the latter is named for Monty Python, a British comedy group, well known for movies such as "The Life of Brian". Therefore ... oh ... never mind ...

  • Dead Hick (unregistered) in reply to Moose
    Moose:
    HMRC isn't a WTF, its classic spam/virus. They didn't even use the same font throughout the email.
    I thought it was just a horrible Photoshop job.

    appellatio: what Apple fans do to each other.

  • anonymous (unregistered)

    Fa lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalalala[image]

  • Norman Diamond (unregistered)

    Earth to Matt Whitfield and Mark Bowytz:

    Some antivirus programs can be used for free. Some will detect the virus attached to the fake HMRC mail. Try one.

  • AN AWESOME CODER (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Aon:
    The 'Computer Name' one really shouldn't be a WTF - the person clearly knows they're not particularly tech savvy, is still trying to be helpful, and is checking that they're sending the right information.
    How tech savvy do you need to be to follow these simple instructions: Right-click the "My Computer" icon on the desktop and select Properties; select the "Computer Name" tab, and highlight and copy the text shown for "Full computer name". Paste it in an e-mail. It's really not difficult.

    If you have to worry about people who have their desktop icons hidden, or people who've removed the My Computer icon from their desktop, just tell them to press the Windows key and R at the same time and open "sysdm.cpl". A little bit more involved, but still something that I'd expect most idiots to be able to muddle through and get right.

    You could do all that....

    ... or you could use nmap and be done with it.

    as pointed out, TRWTF is the network admin who can't properly network admin.

  • Klimax (unregistered)

    And everybody missed Excel micros...

  • foo AKA fooo (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Fa lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalalala[image]

    Neat job.

  • Jmauro (unregistered)

    I'm pretty sure from the refund email GB means pounds sterling (£).

  • (cs) in reply to Aon
    Aon:
    The 'Computer Name' one really shouldn't be a WTF - the person clearly knows they're not particularly tech savvy, is still trying to be helpful, and is checking that they're sending the right information.

    Oh no, I published it for a different reason. TRWTF is the submitter, who assumes that since he knows a lot about computers, everyone else should know it too. Bah, nobody has time to follow your instructions simply because you as a sysadmin do not know how to use the tools at your disposal.

  • MrBester (unregistered) in reply to Moose
    Moose:
    HMRC isn't a WTF, its classic spam/virus. They didn't even use the same font throughout the email.
    I didn't need to even check that: logo GIFs are always at the bottom. Then there's "Madame". Not an English word. HMRC may be clueless about getting tax from those who really should pay it (Vodaphone) but they do at least know the language.
  • Everyone in the UK (unregistered) in reply to Jmauro

    I'm 100% sure it's not. That would be "GBP" and isn't used by HMRC.

  • (cs) in reply to Klimax
    Klimax:
    And everybody missed Excel micros...
    When reading that offer that was one of the things that caught my mind as being even more WTF than "Pearl/Shell".

    Others:

    • Unix knowledge (assuming perl/shell-scripting was actually meant) and "Strong knowledge and exp (sic!) in HPQC/Excel Micros"
    • HPQC
    • HPQC!
    • HPQC!!!!!
    • "Willingness to work in 24*7 rotational shifts" (OMG WTF!!!)

    and the icing on the cake; "Excellent communication skills" required by whoever wrote this serious WTF of a totally unprofessional job offer!

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Jmauro

    Actually, they probably wanted to write £GB, but messed up the pound sterling symbol. (There are other countries that use pounds, I believe.)

  • (cs)

    The phone or fax instead of email one isn't that stupid... Due to a terrible email system provided by my previous employer (government) I set up a similar autoreply. Mine directed people to resend to my personal email (which I didn't provide) or to contact the site I worked at by phone or the generic site email address.

    Oesor:
    Especially when this is all of two minutes of work to ping the network broadcast addresses and see what IPs show up in the arp table.

    Well since some devices won't reply to some types of broadcast pings, that would be possibly incomplete. It would also miss out any systems with ICMP ping blocked in the firewall (the same employer mentioned above shipped their "standard" systems with all ICMP blocked, yet opened up exceptions for practically every TCP and UDP port). Also, didn't he say he needed computer names?

  • F (unregistered) in reply to Oesor
    Oesor:
    Mcoder:
    Aon:
    The 'Computer Name' one really shouldn't be a WTF - the person clearly knows they're not particularly tech savvy, is still trying to be helpful, and is checking that they're sending the right information.
    Oh, no. The WTF was the admin that instead of just scanning the network sent an email for everybody, and hopped people could follow his instructions.

    Especially when this is all of two minutes of work to ping the network broadcast addresses and see what IPs show up in the arp table.

    ... which is guaranteed to miss those which are turned off or disconnected (salesman out visiting a customer?), whereas an email will probably reach everyone eventually.

  • F (unregistered) in reply to MrBester
    MrBester:
    Moose:
    HMRC isn't a WTF, its classic spam/virus. They didn't even use the same font throughout the email.
    I didn't need to even check that: logo GIFs are always at the bottom. Then there's "Madame". Not an English word. HMRC may be clueless about getting tax from those who really should pay it (Vodaphone) but they do at least know the language.

    And they can spell Vodafone.

  • F (unregistered) in reply to Tony green
    Tony green:
    Reminds me of an incident back in the 1980s when I was working on mainframes.

    A colleague who'd had a lot of George IV experience overheard a recruitment consultant tell a potential employer:

    "He's got lots of experience in George the Fourth".

    I've got lots of experience in the George the Fourth. I meet my friends there most weeks to sink a few pints.

  • Simon (unregistered) in reply to Jmauro
    Jmauro:
    I'm pretty sure from the refund email GB means pounds sterling (£).
    Everyone in the UK:
    I'm 100% sure it's not. That would be "GBP" and isn't used by HMRC.

    Pretty sure it is GBP, funneled through some process that's managed to truncate it to two characters. Which in turn is probably why it's displaying that code, having failed to identify the correct symbol to display...

  • Kevin (unregistered) in reply to DaveAronson
    DaveAronson:
    If we start counting ignorant recruiter emails as WTFs, we'll never get done....

    I received one that said I needed to have ASP and .NET experience.

  • Aigarius (unregistered) in reply to tin
    Also, didn't he say he needed computer names?

    Why in this day and age one would care what a computer calls itself? If you are setting up a network - base it on a MAC address, preferably linked to the physical port on the switch that the computer is supposed to be plugged into. If you want some kind of uniform host name - then you should be communicating it to user and not the other way around. There should be NO scenario in which a network admin would need to ask users or computers for their hostnames. It's a nickname. Use real data.

  • Chris M. (unregistered) in reply to Jmauro
    Jmauro:
    I'm pretty sure from the refund email GB means pounds sterling (£).

    I'm pretty sure it doesn't. GBP is often used as an abbrievation for "Great Britain Pound" and is presumably what they were trying to shoot for, but like most malware spammers, they can't spell or proofread to save their lives.

Leave a comment on “Best of Email: Questionable Maintenance, A Refund on Storage, and More”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article