Comment On Code Comedians

When it comes to bad code, everybody thinks they’re a comedian. Heck, look at us! Stupid programmer jokes are a game everyone can play, though, so let’s enjoy an evening at the Improv with some code comedians. [expand full text]
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Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-21 17:51 • by chubertdev
my personal favorite:

// you know that point in a TV show when the doctor says, "I could lose my license for this?"
// that best represents this code

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-21 18:16 • by Friedrice the Great (unregistered)
395403 in reply to 395392
Here's a Java one:
Exception up = new Exception();

throw up;

I've always liked this name for a Chuck Norris Fan Club: UP CHUCK!

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-21 18:56 • by Staticsan (unregistered)
My favourite story was something a colleague did many years ago. And I get way more mileage out of it than he ever did.

He wrote a custom print server for a branch network. Basically, two or three customer service terminals shared the one printer (printing didn't happen all that often). It was in VB and he was a little bored the day he was writing the error messages.

One of the messages was "Orange Marmalade? No, Paper Jam!", for, yes, when the printer reported a jam. The support desk was more puzzled than amused the first time it came up. And apparantly my colleague had forgotten he'd written it. I'm pretty sure they left it in. The support desk was only really annoyed they hadn't know about it beforehand...

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-21 20:43 • by Norman Diamond (unregistered)
What about hilarious comments in HTML code? Has any reader of this site ever seen any?

(By the way, I'm not complaining about hilarious comments in HTML code. Some of them are hilarious.)

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-21 22:44 • by Watson

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-22 00:25 • by Tangaroa (unregistered)
While writing a PHP emailer, I learned that MIME separator strings did not need to mean anything, they just needed to be consistent within the same message, so I used a string along the lines of "---aybabtu-o-rly-ya-rly-no-wai" as an easter egg for anyone reading their mail raw. Someone else later rewrote the script, and they kept that in.

Another time I was working on shapefile code and commented a certain line like this:

int SHPD; // kwi

If you follow Sluggy Freelance, this is *funny*. It probably confused the hell out of whoever was stuck with the code next, but I was young and inconsiderate.

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-22 03:10 • by Fecal Matter Lip Fur (unregistered)
I added a button to play humppa on a small program used at our plant because the GUI wasn't balanced otherwise. It's proven quite popular. (Both the program and the humppa.)

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-22 07:33 • by Polar Bear (unregistered)
I once saw a website with the following comment:

<!-- *snipped* a bunch of JavaScript that Google told us to put in. Seemed pretty pointless and caused an error. We don't need no stinking JavaScript. -->

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-22 07:56 • by PaulR (unregistered)
395421 in reply to 395343
The Apple //e's source code had a comment in the serial port's routine: "Something magical happens."

I suspect that that routine gave Woz a bit of a hard time...

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-22 08:54 • by squigbobble (unregistered)
"//Don't expect much work to get done after this event is triggered
CometWorker.OnFirstJoint += new FirstJointObjects(CometWorker_OnFirstJoint)"

...especially now that Comet, the electrical retailer, has gone bust.

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-22 09:41 • by Hatshepsut
The number of times I've seen embedded code in which the name of the routine to service the hardware watchdog contains the word 'bone'...

Champagne comedy!

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-22 19:07 • by definitely not a robot (unregistered)
Well I'm Polish and I definitely get the Comet joke... sorry bro

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-23 22:04 • by Keyslo (unregistered)
395497 in reply to 395348
Yep, something like - never can raise - kind of error with message 'Matrix is everywhere' at credit card online payment transaction confirmation page... What a fun my coleague had with his special message when customer got it...

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-26 10:14 • by iToad (unregistered)
Damn... I clicked on one of the links and got Rickrolled.

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-26 14:18 • by Spewin Coffee (unregistered)
395552 in reply to 395397
One day at the end of my shift I left my station saying:


The next day the supervisor reprimanded me. Just because I was taking computer classes didn't mean I could reprogram their system. She said the next shift was afraid to use that station and they lost productivity as a result. I showed her how much difficulty and technical acumen was required to "reprogram" the system. She was, still, not amused.

You know this reminds me of when I was little. I found a book about Applesoft BASIC programming (guess my dad had picked it up somewhere when we got our Apple ][) when I was about 8 or 9 years old. (How old are you in 4th grade? 8 or 9 right?) We had computer lab time, which basically meant we all sat down in a room inside the library, filled with Apple ]['s, and we were supposed to play with LOGO. I took it upon myself to break into Apple DOS and write the following program:

20 PRINT CHR$(7)
30 GOTO 10

Then I proudly ran it. The teacher was not amused. She heard the commotion, walked over, saw what was printing on the screen, and said "Yes, I can see that. Now make it stop."

I always thought she should have been far more impressed by the skills of a young programmer-in-the-making... oh well.

I find it more interesting that teachers frowned upon such things not understanding the significance that people who start programming at a young age have a more significant future ahead of them than most other students of those same years. I have similar memories of attempted suppression. For example, when we got those Texas Instruments programmable graphing calculators in school, mine was constantly being taken away because I couldn't possibly be paying attention. I had my nose buried in it whenever it wasn't taken away and was writing code and still got solid A's in all my classes (usually 95 or higher, rarely an A- and maybe one B+). Most teachers gave up.

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-27 20:02 • by j (unregistered)
I sometimes add

// unsung namespace some_ns;

as a friendly reminder. Mellow is the name of the game.

Re: Code Comedians

2012-11-30 11:43 • by santobugito (unregistered)
395889 in reply to 395366
There is also a Cockney filter in the code as well which alters words to cockney representations.

Re: Code Comedians

2012-12-21 13:18 • by Somedude (unregistered)
We had an application that created batch files for banks. We had to create one file for each of our merchants, and send them to the bank.

Got a new bank, and we could send them all the merchant's transactions in a single batch file, so I set about building this new multiple batch capability.

It was a hairy project, the whole multi batch thing turned out to be fairly complex. But, I finally got it done, and it worked great.

After my boss, and pretty much everyone going on and on about the multi batch for weeks, I felt there was no choice. I named the key file of the whole thing... LeelooDallasMultiBatch.
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