• (cs)

    my personal favorite:

    // you know that point in a TV show when the doctor says, "I could lose my license for this?" // that best represents this code

  • Friedrice the Great (unregistered) in reply to Poochy.EXE
    Poochy.EXE:
    Here's a Java one: 
    Exception up = new Exception();
throw up;

    I've always liked this name for a Chuck Norris Fan Club: UP CHUCK!

  • Staticsan (unregistered)

    My favourite story was something a colleague did many years ago. And I get way more mileage out of it than he ever did.

    He wrote a custom print server for a branch network. Basically, two or three customer service terminals shared the one printer (printing didn't happen all that often). It was in VB and he was a little bored the day he was writing the error messages.

    One of the messages was "Orange Marmalade? No, Paper Jam!", for, yes, when the printer reported a jam. The support desk was more puzzled than amused the first time it came up. And apparantly my colleague had forgotten he'd written it. I'm pretty sure they left it in. The support desk was only really annoyed they hadn't know about it beforehand...

  • Norman Diamond (unregistered)

    What about hilarious comments in HTML code? Has any reader of this site ever seen any?

    (By the way, I'm not complaining about hilarious comments in HTML code. Some of them are hilarious.)

  • (cs)
  • Tangaroa (unregistered)

    While writing a PHP emailer, I learned that MIME separator strings did not need to mean anything, they just needed to be consistent within the same message, so I used a string along the lines of "---aybabtu-o-rly-ya-rly-no-wai" as an easter egg for anyone reading their mail raw. Someone else later rewrote the script, and they kept that in.

    Another time I was working on shapefile code and commented a certain line like this:

    int SHPD; // kwi

    If you follow Sluggy Freelance, this is funny. It probably confused the hell out of whoever was stuck with the code next, but I was young and inconsiderate.

  • Fecal Matter Lip Fur (unregistered)

    I added a button to play humppa on a small program used at our plant because the GUI wasn't balanced otherwise. It's proven quite popular. (Both the program and the humppa.)

  • Polar Bear (unregistered)

    I once saw a website with the following comment:

    <!-- *snipped* a bunch of JavaScript that Google told us to put in. Seemed pretty pointless and caused an error. We don't need no stinking JavaScript. -->
  • PaulR (unregistered) in reply to PK

    The Apple //e's source code had a comment in the serial port's routine: "Something magical happens."

    I suspect that that routine gave Woz a bit of a hard time...

  • squigbobble (unregistered)

    "//Don't expect much work to get done after this event is triggered CometWorker.OnFirstJoint += new FirstJointObjects(CometWorker_OnFirstJoint)"

    ...especially now that Comet, the electrical retailer, has gone bust.

  • (cs)

    The number of times I've seen embedded code in which the name of the routine to service the hardware watchdog contains the word 'bone'...

    Champagne comedy!

  • definitely not a robot (unregistered)

    Well I'm Polish and I definitely get the Comet joke... sorry bro

  • Keyslo (unregistered) in reply to n9ds

    Yep, something like - never can raise - kind of error with message 'Matrix is everywhere' at credit card online payment transaction confirmation page... What a fun my coleague had with his special message when customer got it...

  • iToad (unregistered)

    Damn... I clicked on one of the links and got Rickrolled.

  • Spewin Coffee (unregistered) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    WhiskeyJack:
    Jack:
    One day at the end of my shift I left my station saying:

    SYSTEM READY FOR COMBAT

    The next day the supervisor reprimanded me. Just because I was taking computer classes didn't mean I could reprogram their system. She said the next shift was afraid to use that station and they lost productivity as a result. I showed her how much difficulty and technical acumen was required to "reprogram" the system. She was, still, not amused.

    You know this reminds me of when I was little. I found a book about Applesoft BASIC programming (guess my dad had picked it up somewhere when we got our Apple ][) when I was about 8 or 9 years old. (How old are you in 4th grade? 8 or 9 right?) We had computer lab time, which basically meant we all sat down in a room inside the library, filled with Apple ]['s, and we were supposed to play with LOGO. I took it upon myself to break into Apple DOS and write the following program:

    10 PRINT "I CAN BEEP!" 20 PRINT CHR$(7) 30 GOTO 10

    Then I proudly ran it. The teacher was not amused. She heard the commotion, walked over, saw what was printing on the screen, and said "Yes, I can see that. Now make it stop."

    I always thought she should have been far more impressed by the skills of a young programmer-in-the-making... oh well.

    I find it more interesting that teachers frowned upon such things not understanding the significance that people who start programming at a young age have a more significant future ahead of them than most other students of those same years. I have similar memories of attempted suppression. For example, when we got those Texas Instruments programmable graphing calculators in school, mine was constantly being taken away because I couldn't possibly be paying attention. I had my nose buried in it whenever it wasn't taken away and was writing code and still got solid A's in all my classes (usually 95 or higher, rarely an A- and maybe one B+). Most teachers gave up.

  • j (unregistered)

    I sometimes add

    // unsung namespace some_ns;

    as a friendly reminder. Mellow is the name of the game.

  • santobugito (unregistered) in reply to theunknownsleeper

    There is also a Cockney filter in the code as well which alters words to cockney representations.

  • Somedude (unregistered)

    We had an application that created batch files for banks. We had to create one file for each of our merchants, and send them to the bank.

    Got a new bank, and we could send them all the merchant's transactions in a single batch file, so I set about building this new multiple batch capability.

    It was a hairy project, the whole multi batch thing turned out to be fairly complex. But, I finally got it done, and it worked great.

    After my boss, and pretty much everyone going on and on about the multi batch for weeks, I felt there was no choice. I named the key file of the whole thing... LeelooDallasMultiBatch.

  • Douglastab (unregistered)

    pharmacie en ligne livraison europe https://kamagraenligne.com/# п»їpharmacie en ligne france

Leave a comment on “Code Comedians”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article