Comment On Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

I guess it's been quite a while since I did the last Does Not Compute, but here goes another round! Please do send in your own stories, and who knows, in a few years we may see another . [expand full text]
« PrevPage 1 | Page 2Next »

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 11:20 • by Sad Bug Killer
rodnts, rabbits, frists, whatvr...

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 11:28 • by Anketam
385388 in reply to 385386
The laptop battery issue is a very logical conclusion, if you assume it works like any other battery, not realizing it is a rechargable battery.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 11:31 • by Code Slave
I don't know about that last one. My keyboard doesn't have an "OK" button or an "Any" key.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 11:32 • by The Great Lobachevsky
I'll have to remember that 'E' one - I think it could be useful when dealing with my family.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 11:50 • by ezacharyk (unregistered)
"Our rabbit died."

Well, congratulations! What do you want, a boy or a girl?

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 11:50 • by Coyne
Ummm....yeah...I'm having trouble with the rabbit attached to my reckoning thingie; and I can't twiddle the marker on the glowy pictury thing that has all the appliance thingies I use to do my tally stabs. Can you renovate it?

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 11:57 • by Franky (unregistered)
well, after all you had to call it battery and not accumulator. He was quite right in suspecting that he couldn't charge it. GET YOUR FRIGGIN' LABELS RIGHT!

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 12:06 • by Steve The Cynic
385395 in reply to 385394
Franky:
well, after all you had to call it battery and not accumulator. He was quite right in suspecting that he couldn't charge it. GET YOUR FRIGGIN' LABELS RIGHT!

Yeah, but if he's that technologically deficient, he'll wonder why you're talking about betting on the horses...

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 12:07 • by Ben (unregistered)
Can't help but think that Jim is a doppleganger for Jim from The Office.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 12:24 • by Nagesh
Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 12:25 • by Nagesh
Oak and Ok common words for much confusion in English language.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 12:28 • by Maude (unregistered)
-You know Homey, The "E" doesn't work on that typewriter.
-We don't need no stinkin' "E". Restaurant Review? ... no. Eatery Evaluation? ... no. Food Box: Go or No Go by Homer ... no ... Earl! ... no ... Bill Simpson.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 13:14 • by pitchingchris
385400 in reply to 385397
Nagesh:
Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.


This is true, but how would a fellow from India know this? Maybe your mom has one ?

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 13:22 • by pedant (unregistered)
rabbits are not rodents

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 13:30 • by Hasse (unregistered)
385402 in reply to 385388
Anketam:
The laptop battery issue is a very logical conclusion, if you assume it works like any other battery, not realizing it is a rechargable battery.


And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 13:40 • by Zylon
385404 in reply to 385400
pitchingchris:
Nagesh:
Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.


This is true, but how would a fellow from India know this? Maybe your mom has one ?

Don't feed the boring troll.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 13:52 • by Jay (unregistered)
My keyboard has only one "e". How am I supposed to type a word like "meet" when there's only one "e" on this silly keyboard?

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 13:58 • by Jeff (unregistered)
I'm sorry sir but the oak buttons are only made from Chinese Oak, which of course comes from China. There should have been one attached to your owner's manual. Do you still have the boxes from when you unpacked your computer? No? Well then let me order you one. It should arrive in about two weeks.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 13:58 • by Jay (unregistered)
385407 in reply to 385402
Hasse:
Anketam:
The laptop battery issue is a very logical conclusion, if you assume it works like any other battery, not realizing it is a rechargable battery.


And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged


Where do you get the idea that the definition of "battery" includes the idea that it cannot be re-charged? Manufacturers have been producing "rechargeable batteries" for as long as I can remember. I own lots of devices that have rechargeable batteries. If there's some technical definition somewhere that defines a battery as not being able to be recharged, well, that's just not the definition used in casual conversation nor by the people who actually make batteries.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 13:59 • by Willi (unregistered)
I love that he didn't spoil the practical joke of the keyboard that was out of "E"

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 14:02 • by John (unregistered)
385409 in reply to 385400
pitchingchris:
Nagesh:
Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.


This is true, but how would a fellow from India know this? Maybe your mom has one ?


Gerbils are better than rabbits.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 14:16 • by myName (unregistered)
People don't know the names of things. Aren't they funny.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 14:19 • by alegr
385412 in reply to 385402
Hasse:

And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged
Here in America, everybody calls an accumulator in a car "a battery".

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 14:42 • by Carl (unregistered)
385413 in reply to 385408
Willi:
I love that he didn't spoil the practical joke of the keyboard that was out of "E"
Yes, but now every time she has a problem she's going to expect a new keyboard.

I inherited just such a customer long ago in the days of COBOL and 9-track tape reels. She would call up rather often and demand that I come with a tape and give her a fresh software load, because her old software was wearing out and causing problems. Turns out the guy before me had come up with this lazy way to get her to stop complaining for a couple weeks at a time, instead of actually looking into the errors and fixing his code.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 14:43 • by Jaloopa (unregistered)
385414 in reply to 385401
pedant:
rabbits are not rodents


thefreedictionary:
Any of various mammals of the order Rodentia, such as a mouse, rat, squirrel, or beaver, characterized by large incisors adapted for gnawing or nibbling.


Sounds like a pretty good definition of a rabbit to me

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rodent

Captcha: erat - virtual rodent

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 15:00 • by Anonymous (unregistered)
385416 in reply to 385414
Jaloopa:
pedant:
rabbits are not rodents


thefreedictionary:
Any of various mammals of the order Rodentia, such as a mouse, rat, squirrel, or beaver, characterized by large incisors adapted for gnawing or nibbling.


Sounds like a pretty good definition of a rabbit to me

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rodent

Captcha: erat - virtual rodent


As I am very bored right now... since rabbits are not members of the order Rodentia, you have just given the explanation for why they aren't rodents.

"Rabbits and hares were formerly classified in the order Rodentia (rodent) until 1912, when they were moved into a new order Lagomorpha. This order also includes pikas."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit#Classifications

Captcha: populus. Rabbits are very populus...

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 15:03 • by Captcha:nimis (unregistered)
Is Akismet broken? I think Akismet is broken.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 15:08 • by Captcha:populus (unregistered)
385418 in reply to 385414
Nope, not broken. Been trying to post this for 10 minutes. Fuck it, I'll post the first half.
Jaloopa:
pedant:
rabbits are not rodents


thefreedictionary:
Any of various mammals of the order Rodentia, such as a mouse, rat, squirrel, or beaver, characterized by large incisors adapted for gnawing or nibbling.


Sounds like a pretty good definition of a rabbit to me

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rodent

Captcha: erat - virtual rodent

Wrong. Let Me Evi That For You: http://evi.com/q/are_rabbits_rodents.


(Also note: I think the word "rodents" in the article was referring to the mouse, not the rabbit)

Note 2: Akismet sucks. I passed your fucking captcha didn't I? I pasted a Lorem Ipsum paragraph here but still not letting me. I wrote some filler text. Nope. More filler text. Still nope. Gonna try to use an URL shortener because it's probably that link. Still nope. Let's see if it likes goo.gl better. Nah. I'll make the link more visible? I'll fucking take out the url tags. Happy now?

I guess I'll have to actually write filler text? I really hope that is enough. Nope, still not. Does it not like the URL? Fuck that shit. AKISMET NO FALSE-POSITIVING! AKISMET NO FALSE-POSITIVING! AKISMET NO FALSE-POSITIVING! Aww man... Still not working

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 15:09 • by Captcha:acsi (is that one new?) (unregistered)
385419 in reply to 385418
Captcha:populus:
Nope, not broken. Been trying to post this for 10 minutes. Fuck it, I'll post the first half.

Nope, sorry, that was the full message. Mybad.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 15:27 • by KattMan
Press any key to continue, any other to quit.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 15:38 • by dogmatic (unregistered)
385421 in reply to 385394
Franky:
well, after all you had to call it battery and not accumulator. He was quite right in suspecting that he couldn't charge it. GET YOUR FRIGGIN' LABELS RIGHT!


Nobody calls them accumulators in the states. Here they are called rechargeable batteries. We also call petrol gas and a boot a trunk, etc....

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 15:49 • by da Doctah
385422 in reply to 385416
Anonymous:
"Rabbits and hares were formerly classified in the order Rodentia (rodent) until 1912, when they were moved into a new order Lagomorpha. This order also includes pikas."


So in 1912, rabbits magically became kosher.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 15:49 • by Silfax
385423 in reply to 385398
Nagesh:
Oak and Ok common words for much confusion in English language.


Possibly he was looking for the A-OK button.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 16:30 • by Joe (unregistered)
385425 in reply to 385407
Jay:
Where do you get the idea that the definition of "battery" includes the idea that it cannot be re-charged? Manufacturers have been producing "rechargeable batteries" for as long as I can remember. I own lots of devices that have rechargeable batteries. If there's some technical definition somewhere that defines a battery as not being able to be recharged, well, that's just not the definition used in casual conversation nor by the people who actually make batteries.


Here's one: http://goo.gl/Igzx9

Charging it can be fatal.

--Joe

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 17:39 • by Flinky (unregistered)
I don't understand the one with the E's....had the E on her keyboard stopped working anyways, or had it been sabotaged some way? Even the Stooooopidest people I know would try to prove there was still plenty of E left if I told them they'd run out....\

How do you spell Shennanigans?

(NB: I also remember someone telling me there's no 'P' in pigin - odd.).

Finally:
THere's no P in our ool. Be sure to leave it that way.

Also, I hate akismet too, even though he had no issue with this post.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 22:20 • by J (unregistered)
385431 in reply to 385425
Joe:
Here's one: http://goo.gl/Igzx9

Charging it can be fatal.

--Joe

Of course those are rechargeable. One use each would be way too costly.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 22:37 • by John Hensley (unregistered)
these stories sound pretty contrived to be honest

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 23:45 • by Dave (unregistered)
385433 in reply to 385406
Jeff:
I'm sorry sir but the oak buttons are only made from Chinese Oak, which of course comes from China. There should have been one attached to your owner's manual. Do you still have the boxes from when you unpacked your computer? No? Well then let me order you one. It should arrive in about two weeks.


Who cares about his Chinese oak buttons, I need one made of sapient pearwood, and pretty damn quickly, the weasels are getting jumpy.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-19 23:59 • by Warren (unregistered)
Always mount a scratch rabbit

http://www.cs.utah.edu/~elb/folklore/scrtch.monkey

Shenanigans

2012-07-20 01:36 • by Gruntled Postal Worker (unregistered)
People, you guys are ruining this site by sending in such obvious fakes.

Someone who doesn't know a battery can be recharged, but has no trouble figuring out how to remove it from her laptop? I guess it's as plausible as any women-are-stupid-when-it-comes-to-technology anecdote, right?

An Oak button? You know, I can imagine a beginning computer user not geting the metaphor right away, and looking for the Ok or Cancel button on the keyboard instead of the screen, but looking for a wooden key, yeah sure. Still trying to top the cup holder or the any key anecdotes I guess...


Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-20 01:50 • by Dirk (unregistered)
I asked the lady, "Is that Jim?"

I honestly was waiting to read that he cracked Jim over the back of the head with the old keyboard. "Is that Jim? Yeah??" Crack!!

Re: Shenanigans

2012-07-20 03:20 • by Moonraquel (unregistered)
385439 in reply to 385436
Gruntled Postal Worker:

Someone who doesn't know a battery can be recharged, but has no trouble figuring out how to remove it from her laptop?


I don't know about ancient laptops (as in the story) but on many newer ones it's a lot easier to remove the battery than, say, on a battery-operated radio or something. There's one or two thingies that you slide and it just pops out, often with text or an icon next to them telling you what they release.

Re: Shenanigans

2012-07-20 03:28 • by MightyM (unregistered)
385440 in reply to 385436
Gruntled Postal Worker:

Someone who doesn't know a battery can be recharged, but has no trouble figuring out how to remove it from her laptop? I guess it's as plausible as any women-are-stupid-when-it-comes-to-technology anecdote, right?


Um, read the story again. The woman was the one who got it right.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-20 03:29 • by MightyM (unregistered)
385441 in reply to 385416
Anonymous:
"Rabbits and hares were formerly classified in the order Rodentia (rodent) until 1912, when they were moved into a new order Lagomorpha. This order also includes pikas."


I thought pikas were electrical mice? (Sorry, I had to.)

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-20 03:57 • by puzzled of england (unregistered)
I don't believe any of these. What a load of drivel. Not even entertaining.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-20 04:00 • by Severity One
385443 in reply to 385412
alegr:
Hasse:

And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged
Here in America, everybody calls an accumulator in a car "a battery".
Not just in America, pretty much everywhere they speak English.

The funny thing is, though, that in Dutch you would 'accu' for a car battery, and 'accuboormachine' for an electric drill with a rechargeable battery, but 'oplaadbare batterij' (you guessed it, rechargeable battery) for the AA/AAA kind of rechargeable batteries that you would put into consumer electronics or toys. Which proves yet again that English isn't the only f-upped language out there.

As for wooden keyboards, they do exist, although not necessarily made of oak, and not necessarily affordable. Made by a Japanese who's been meditating in a cave for the last 50 years kind of thing.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-20 04:41 • by My Name (unregistered)
Hehe.:-) I thought "Rabbit" was going to turn out to be some kind of specialist software, like RabbitMQ.

Re: Shenanigans

2012-07-20 05:04 • by The man who posted "I WANT TO BELIEVE" (unregistered)
385445 in reply to 385436
Gruntled Postal Worker:
People, you guys are ruining this site by sending in such obvious fakes.

I WANT TO BELIEVE.

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-20 05:29 • by Patrick Jacquot (unregistered)
The user who had a dead rabbit seems not to be up to date with the newly established distinction between Lagomorpha and Rodentia (being myself a bit picky)

Re: Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

2012-07-20 05:48 • by Rabbit (unregistered)
385447 in reply to 385444
My Name:
Hehe.:-) I thought "Rabbit" was going to turn out to be some kind of specialist software, like RabbitMQ.


I was expecting it to be a Rabbit microcontroller.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_Semiconductor

You know, we do have (some) Rabbits in IT.
« PrevPage 1 | Page 2Next »

Add Comment