The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Is that a wireless keyboard? It may not have run out of E's after all it may just have run out of power. Same with the rabbit.

Can you try removing the batteries from the keyboard and the rabbit. Then place them on an oak table and take a picture of them. Then send us the picture so we can see if they need to be replaced.

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Flinky:
I don't understand the one with the E's....had the E on her keyboard stopped working anyways, or had it been sabotaged some way? Even the Stooooopidest people I know would try to prove there was still plenty of E left if I told them they'd run out....\

I wondered that too. We are clearly missing an important detail in the story as to how Jim convinced he's victim that she was out of E's. Did he pry the key off the keyboard? Did he install something to intercept key strokes and filter out all the E's (in which case a new keyboard wouldn't bring any new E's with it)?

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

TFA:
I wasn't to clear what we were researching

To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

I can only see that in a year from the story of the old woman (man!), she will be calling back asking for more 'e's

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Anon:
TFA:
I wasn't to clear what we were researching

To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

Know.

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Anon:
TFA:
I wasn't to clear what we were researching

To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

How do you know he didn't mean it like it's written? He wasn't to clear what they were researching [from the database, the file system, etc.]

Oh, that's right. You know the difference between to, too and two. So, you are obviously a super genius who's graced us with his presence and shown us his wisdom. I doubt he meant it as typed since it didn't make sense. Thank god for people like you because without you, we'd have nobody to explain to us what people mean and help us out when we needed to use a to/too/two variant. Do you also know which there, their and they're to use? I've been needing some help on that one. Oh, and it's or its also? that one's a tough one. It's had me stumped for decades.

Yazeran · 2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Dirk:
I asked the lady, "Is that Jim?"
I honestly was waiting to read that he cracked Jim over the back of the head with the old keyboard. "Is that Jim? Yeah??" Crack!!

Well you do not know if 'Jim' had to change his password every day for the next month as a small token of the IT-departments appreciation for his 'service'

(I did that once as a practical joke in 'thanks' for the other person tying my cofee cup to my desk with one of those high strength strips used for handcuffing ciriminals and fixing cables wtc... ) No-one has messed with my cafeine since.. :-) My one and only forray into BOFH space.. :-)

Yazeran

Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

just stop it:
Anon:
TFA:
I wasn't to clear what we were researching

To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.
How do you know he didn't mean it like it's written? He wasn't to clear what they were researching [from the database, the file system, etc.]

Oh, that's right. You know the difference between to, too and two. So, you are obviously a super genius who's graced us with his presence and shown us his wisdom. I doubt he meant it as typed since it didn't make sense. Thank god for people like you because without you, we'd have nobody to explain to us what people mean and help us out when we needed to use a to/too/two variant. Do you also know which there, their and they're to use? I've been needing some help on that one. Oh, and it's or its also? that one's a tough one. It's had me stumped for decades.

You know, you both have a point. I don't mind people who hate the grammar police. But the grammar police aren't evil.

I was about three weeks and four writing assignments into a supposedly "advanced" writing class in college when the teacher told us one day that she had seen so many basic writing mistakes that she felt it was necessary to review the basics. So, for the next two hours, we reviewed third grade English basics like to/too/two, it's/its, there/their/they're, than/then and whether/weather.

Honestly, it pissed me off. I had to take that class to fulfill a graduation requirement. That day it became clear that I was wasting my time and money, but I had no choice in the matter. So, the fact that college students would repeatedly turn in writing assignments with such basic mistakes leads me to believe that, when similar mistakes show up on a comment board, it usually isn't just a typo.

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Joe:
Jay:
Where do you get the idea that the definition of "battery" includes the idea that it cannot be re-charged? Manufacturers have been producing "rechargeable batteries" for as long as I can remember. I own lots of devices that have rechargeable batteries. If there's some technical definition somewhere that defines a battery as not being able to be recharged, well, that's just not the definition used in casual conversation nor by the people who actually make batteries.

Here's one: http://goo.gl/Igzx9

Charging it can be fatal.

--Joe

Good point. cf "Light Brigade"

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Anon:
TFA:
I wasn't to clear what we were researching

To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

"To, too and two". Please learn to communicate in complete, grammatically-correct sentences.

KattMan · 2012-07-20 Reply Admin

C-Derb:
So, for the next two hours, we reviewed third grade English basics like to/too/two, it's/its, there/their/they're, than/then and whether/weather.

I'm with you, the big noe that gets me is this...

"Could have", contracted to "could've" then spelled as it is pronounced, "could of".

Sometiems I believe people don't even know what they are saying when they say it, let alone write it.

PedanticCurmudgeon · 2012-07-20 Reply Admin

KattMan:
I'm with you, the big noe that gets me is this...
"Could have", contracted to "could've" then spelled as it is pronounced, "could of".

Sometiems I believe people don't even know what they are saying when they say it, let alone write it.

Apparently, Friday is Muphry day.

KattMan · 2012-07-20 Reply Admin

PedanticCurmudgeon:
KattMan:
I'm with you, the big noe that gets me is this...
"Could have", contracted to "could've" then spelled as it is pronounced, "could of".

Sometiems I believe people don't even know what they are saying when they say it, let alone write it.

Apparently, Friday is Muphry day.

Yeah, at least I wasn't complaining about just plain old spelling errors or typos.

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Carl:
I inherited just such a customer long ago in the days of COBOL and 9-track tape reels. She would call up rather often and demand that I come with a tape and give her a fresh software load, because her old software was wearing out and causing problems. Turns out the guy before me had come up with this lazy way to get her to stop complaining for a couple weeks at a time, instead of actually looking into the errors and fixing his code.

Isn't that standard practice for Windows users worldwide? Restart, reboot, reinstall.

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Zylon:
pitchingchris:
Nagesh:
Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.

This is true, but how would a fellow from India know this? Maybe your mom has one ?
Don't feed the boring troll.

Feed your mom a rabbit instead.

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

PedanticCurmudgeon:
KattMan:
I'm with you, the big noe that gets me is this...
"Could have", contracted to "could've" then spelled as it is pronounced, "could of".

Sometiems I believe people don't even know what they are saying when they say it, let alone write it.

Apparently, Friday is Muphry day.

You forgot one. :)

2012-07-20 Reply Admin

Rabbit! I kill the running rabbit on my server every time credentials are being updated. Kill it and then restart.

2012-07-21 Reply Admin

What the FUCK am I wasting time on this shitty site? I come here for entertainment, and the fuck who claims to have been receiving about 10 stories each day posts the dumbest - and MADE UP!! - stories ever! WTF, dude!?

2012-07-21 Reply Admin

sagaciter:
What the FUCK am I wasting time on this shitty site? I come here for entertainment, and the fuck who claims to have been receiving about 10 stories each day posts the dumbest - and MADE UP!! - stories ever! WTF, dude!?

Now he's going to delete your comment...

2012-07-21 Reply Admin

a dude:

Now he's going to delete your comment...

And yours - hihi...

And maybe even mine, too

2012-07-21 Reply Admin

C-Derb:
just stop it:
Anon:
TFA:
I wasn't to clear what we were researching

To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.
How do you know he didn't mean it like it's written? He wasn't to clear what they were researching [from the database, the file system, etc.]

Oh, that's right. You know the difference between to, too and two. So, you are obviously a super genius who's graced us with his presence and shown us his wisdom. I doubt he meant it as typed since it didn't make sense. Thank god for people like you because without you, we'd have nobody to explain to us what people mean and help us out when we needed to use a to/too/two variant. Do you also know which there, their and they're to use? I've been needing some help on that one. Oh, and it's or its also? that one's a tough one. It's had me stumped for decades.

You know, you both have a point. I don't mind people who hate the grammar police. But the grammar police aren't evil.
I was about three weeks and four writing assignments into a supposedly "advanced" writing class in college when the teacher told us one day that she had seen so many basic writing mistakes that she felt it was necessary to review the basics. So, for the next two hours, we reviewed third grade English basics like to/too/two, it's/its, there/their/they're, than/then and whether/weather.

Honestly, it pissed me off. I had to take that class to fulfill a graduation requirement. That day it became clear that I was wasting my time and money, but I had no choice in the matter. So, the fact that college students would repeatedly turn in writing assignments with such basic mistakes leads me to believe that, when similar mistakes show up on a comment board, it usually isn't just a typo.

Also, a bunch of people you "see" online are not from your fucking country, you fucking grammar-police idiot. That said, ANY ONE of those, while being able to write English that can be understood (even with few grammar mistakes), is probably at least 4 times smarter than an average grammar-policeman. And - foreigners usually DO know the difference between all those words you mentioned - and probably better than you. That said, considering that there are about 15 times more "foreigners" (to English language) online than ALL US residents altogether, it is probably that those actually ARE plain old typos.

Dick/cunt - grow the fuck up and read a book.

notchulance · 2012-07-21 Reply Admin

Welcome to Bait-Board, bait-bait.

2012-07-22 Reply Admin

chico:
Also, a bunch of people you "see" online are not from your fucking country, you fucking grammar-police idiot. That said, ANY ONE of those, while being able to write English that can be understood (even with few grammar mistakes), is probably at least 4 times smarter than an average grammar-policeman. And - foreigners usually DO know the difference between all those words you mentioned - and probably better than you. That said, considering that there are about 15 times more "foreigners" (to English language) online than ALL US residents altogether, it is probably that those actually ARE plain old typos.
Dick/cunt - grow the fuck up and read a book.

What the fuck is wrong with you fucking fucker? Seriously, why did you get so mad at someone who just said that having bad grammar is not good? You are a fucking asshole, please go die.

2012-07-23 Reply Admin

Hasse:
Anketam:
The laptop battery issue is a very logical conclusion, if you assume it works like any other battery, not realizing it is a rechargable battery.

And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged

Next time I go to the garage, I'll ask them to check my car accumulator.

QJo · 2012-07-23 Reply Admin

just stop it:
Anon:
TFA:
I wasn't to clear what we were researching

To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.
How do you know he didn't mean it like it's written? He wasn't to clear what they were researching [from the database, the file system, etc.]

Oh, that's right. You know the difference between to, too and two. So, you are obviously a super genius who's graced us with his presence and shown us his wisdom. I doubt he meant it as typed since it didn't make sense. Thank god for people like you because without you, we'd have nobody to explain to us what people mean and help us out when we needed to use a to/too/two variant. Do you also know which there, their and they're to use? I've been needing some help on that one. Oh, and it's or its also? that one's a tough one. It's had me stumped for decades.

Stop whining and learn your grammar lessons.

2012-07-23 Reply Admin

Jay:
My keyboard has only one "e". How am I supposed to type a word like "meet" when there's only one "e" on this silly keyboard?

Actualeee it refreshes eetself eeenstantleee. Its just like these post-its where a new one apears as soon as you remove the old from the top. Just trust me on this: As soon as you press the key and the letter goes to the screen, a brand new E will appear right below your fingertips. On fast computers say like thoses brand new 286 it reloads so fast, that you might not even notice the E going away. I can sell you one of those for a real bargain.

2012-07-23 Reply Admin

Yazeran:
Dirk:
I asked the lady, "Is that Jim?"
I honestly was waiting to read that he cracked Jim over the back of the head with the old keyboard. "Is that Jim? Yeah??" Crack!!

Well you do not know if 'Jim' had to change his password every day for the next month as a small token of the IT-departments appreciation for his 'service'

Jim was actually quite right. As a mechanical device a keyboard can produce only a (statistcally) fixed amount of E or whatever.

oheso · 2012-07-24 Reply Admin

chico:
Also, a bunch of people you "see" online are not from your fucking country, you fucking grammar-police idiot. That said, ANY ONE of those, while being able to write English that can be understood (even with few grammar mistakes), is probably at least 4 times smarter than an average grammar-policeman. And - foreigners usually DO know the difference between all those words you mentioned - and probably better than you. That said, considering that there are about 15 times more "foreigners" (to English language) online than ALL US residents altogether, it is probably that those actually ARE plain old typos.
Dick/cunt - grow the fuck up and read a book.

No way. In my experience those who have learned English as a second or third or fourth language have no problem getting the spelling and grammar right. It's the fucking American cunts who are hopeless.

2012-07-25 Reply Admin

oheso:
No way. In my experience those who have learned English as a second or third or fourth language have no problem getting the spelling and grammar right. It's the fucking American cunts who are hopeless.

I disagree with this.

Surely, while people who learn the language by being TAUGHT instead of by being around it aren't exposed to the same "poison" we are by inheriting mistakes from friends, those mistakes are super easy to make. Unless you care enough to know all of the rules, which are complicated and some of them even debatable (see the english stack exchange site if you don't believe that.)

As an example, I'm positive that most people who learn Spanish as a second language confuse el and la a lot.

2012-07-25 Reply Admin

I guess the battery stopped working for only the E button. Image if all the buttons stop working...

2012-07-25 Reply Admin

Kasper:
Is that a wireless keyboard? It may not have run out of E's after all it may just have run out of power. Same with the rabbit.
Can you try removing the batteries from the keyboard and the rabbit. Then place them on an oak table and take a picture of them. Then send us the picture so we can see if they need to be replaced.

I guess the battery stopped working for only the E button. Image if all the buttons stop working...

2012-07-25 Reply Admin

All I can say too those whom be stressed about the grammars to much is ...

http://missorrinenglish.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/cavemen.png

2012-07-26 Reply Admin

Gruntled Postal Worker:
Someone who doesn't know a battery can be recharged, but has no trouble figuring out how to remove it from her laptop? I guess it's as plausible as any women-are-stupid-when-it-comes-to-technology anecdote, right?

TFA:
Two weeks later, she was back at his place and asked how he was doing with his new toy. He motioned over to his desk and said pretty well.

2013-02-02 Reply Admin

Little known fact: MORE-E'S LAW (often misspelled as MOORE'S LAW) states that the amount of E's in a typical computer doubles every 18 months. It is thanks to this that keyboards can last as long as they do; back in the old days the manufacturers were making a killing!

2017-02-07 Reply Admin

that "out of E's" story reminded me of an old online comic called "absurd notions": in one comic, someone's practical joker roommate switched the N and M keycaps on his keyboard..."gemtalnem: i an writimg to conplinemt you om your website."

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