Comment On The Command Center Administrator, and More

The Command Center Administrator (from Joshua Knarr) A job listing email for a "Command Center Administrator" recently found its way to my inbox. The message was from ACME COMMERCE, which was apparently an UP AND COMING company that would be HUGE AND SUCCESSFUL if they could keep their INTERNET STORE FRONT FOR SPORTING GOODS going. The position was offered to me in fits of caps lock, and it was tough to understand if they were merely excited, or if someone was playing Mad Libs with Job Listing Generator 3.0. I decided they were simply excited to be expanding, so I dutifully sent along my résumé and asked if they had a job description for the Command Center Administrator position. [expand full text]
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Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:15 • by Knux2 (unregistered)
Tier-3 Unicorn Jockey
Tier-3 Command Center Administrator
Tier-3 Jackalope Breeder
Tier-3 Humanoid-rabbit Egg Distributor

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:15 • by Steve The Cynic
In the first one, the answer is always, "If you can't give me a job description, I'm not going to waste our time ((translation: "my time" - I don't give a flying (bad word) about your time)) by coming for an interview." No exceptions.

And in the last case, we all know that the best job he never had would have lasted less time than the interview, and it would have been unpaid. I think you all know what I mean, and if you don't, you are a WTF yourself.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:18 • by The Nerve (unregistered)
315160 in reply to 315159
Not only did she not get the job, but we had a very stern word with Human Resources that, in future, we won't interview anyone we deem unsuitable.


But you forgot to finish the story.

"Human Resources later stopped by and told us we WOULD be hiring the CEO's daughter."

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:20 • by Anon (unregistered)
Something is missing from the 2nd one. I was expecting it to turn out that the candidate was the HR directors wife/mistress/daughter/niece/third cousin twice removed. There must be some reason the HR director was so adamant that they be interviewed.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:22 • by Ronald M (unregistered)
> * Tier-3 supporting facebook
> * Tier-3 supporting google
>
>her "Tier-3 support" referred to running said websites and applications on her home computer.

Wow- she hosted Facebook and Google on her home computer for a period?!

>They had installed Visual Studio and SQL Server's management tools, but there was no indication as to where a SQL Server database was located.

Ummm -- SQL Server express? Or was this VS Express W/O SQL Server? Or had they uninstalled SQL Server.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:29 • by akatherder
For the first story, I would never get that far into the process with someone who can't/won't answer my questions. In this economy, you might have to give a little bit but not that much.

Second story, you keep the interviewee in the room and call the HR person to sit in on the interview and conclude it for you. Bonus points if this further aggravates the interviewee.

Third story, give the president an invoice for wasting your time.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:38 • by Vechni
teh second story was my favorite.



edit: oh shit i just lol'd. tier 3 internets explorer

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:39 • by kittyJ (unregistered)
Hmm, really not getting the last one - if I was going to demo something like this I'd just create a new web app and then a new SQL database mdf file in the App_Data folder and off I'd go.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:40 • by Yuval (unregistered)
I think "internets explorer" is near priceless.

Typo: I explained teh scenario to the president

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:40 • by pitchingchris
315168 in reply to 315163
akatherder:


Third story, give the president an invoice for wasting your time.


Surely - he just wanted the work done so he didn't have to hire someone capable to do the work. Also means he didn't already have someone capable either..

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:43 • by vt_mruhlin
Third guy has never heard of SQLite?

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:45 • by Peter (unregistered)
It was Krishna from ACME COMMERCE. "Very nice résumé," she said
Krishna was a woman? That must have been a bit disconcerting, rather like finding yourself talking to a woman called Zeus or Odin. Or, for that matter, a man called Parvati or Hera.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:45 • by Quies (unregistered)
315171 in reply to 315161
You forget that the powers that be (HR) had spent time finding this candidate that so perfectly fits your stated requirements. That and the candidate only asked for half the minimum stated salary for the job. Thus allowing HR to collect a bonus for saving money, standard policy in two companies I no longer work for.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:46 • by cynical cynic (unregistered)
315172 in reply to 315159
Steve The Cynic:
And in the last case, we all know that the best job he never had would have lasted less time than the interview, and it would have been unpaid. I think you all know what I mean, and if you don't, you are a WTF yourself.

Are you just assuming Phil M never had the kind of job you are hinting at, or did he tell you?

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:47 • by Bosshog (unregistered)
Just do it in XML and tell him it's a database!

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:49 • by Nathan616 (unregistered)
3rd story: Commenters seem to be down on the guy for not installing some kind of database himself - but didn't he say that they wouldn't let him do that?

That boss was obviously trying to get work done for free - there was no job.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:56 • by Shyster (unregistered)
315175 in reply to 315161
Anon:
Something is missing from the 2nd one. I was expecting it to turn out that the candidate was the HR directors wife/mistress/daughter/niece/third cousin twice removed. There must be some reason the HR director was so adamant that they be interviewed.


My guess: Someone was threatening a lawsuit for discriminatory hiring or something like that, so they brought her in so they could at least say, "look we interview such people." (However, I don't think ADA really requires you to interview let along hire flaming numbskills.)

CAPTCHA: nulla - The amount of actually experience this person had.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:56 • by operagost
315176 in reply to 315161
Anon:
Something is missing from the 2nd one. I was expecting it to turn out that the candidate was the HR directors wife/mistress/daughter/niece/third cousin twice removed. There must be some reason the HR director was so adamant that they be interviewed.

Affirmative action.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:56 • by Mr. TA (unregistered)
The real WTF is the support team's inability to tell HR to go where they belong upfront. "Not wanting to start any fights" = coward and pussy and idiotic and the real WTF.

As to the candidate... world is a funny place :)

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 09:58 • by Call me Johnny (unregistered)
315178 in reply to 315170
Peter:
It was Krishna from ACME COMMERCE. "Very nice résumé," she said
Krishna was a woman? That must have been a bit disconcerting, rather like finding yourself talking to a woman called Zeus or Odin. Or, for that matter, a man called Parvati or Hera.


Or a boy named Sue.

CAPTCHA: Causa - It's causa a name like Sue that I got picked on as a boy.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:08 • by Amar (unregistered)
315179 in reply to 315170
May be her name was Krishnapriya or Krishnaveni. Krishna itself is a female name in some parts of India - where the real Krishna is called Krishnan.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:22 • by Cbuttius (unregistered)
315180 in reply to 315166
kittyJ:
Hmm, really not getting the last one - if I was going to demo something like this I'd just create a new web app and then a new SQL database mdf file in the App_Data folder and off I'd go.


You're hired!

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:32 • by Anonymous (unregistered)
I have to say I quite enjoy interviewing idiots. Whenever we have a hiring round and start receiving resumes I always choose one or two of the "no-hopers" to come in for interview in addition to the real candidates, just to lighten things up. It can be pretty intense interviewing for senior technical positions, especially if you have to do it all day for a week solid. It's a lot easier if you intersperse the real candidates with the odd joker - you can forget about the technical discussions and just laugh at a hopelessly underskilled moron for half an hour. It's cathartic.

Some of the other folks in my office think this is a bit mean but as I explain to them, I don't feel bad about wasting the candidate's time because they wasted my time by applying for a job that they were woefully underqualified for.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:34 • by some guy (unregistered)
315184 in reply to 315179
The word 'Krishna' means 'dark' or 'black' and was commonly used to describe a dark complexion.

The word itself has no gender. There are many such 'unisex' sanskrit words that are used as names such as Surya and Kiran.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:34 • by airdrik (unregistered)
315185 in reply to 315162
Ronald M:


>They had installed Visual Studio and SQL Server's management tools, but there was no indication as to where a SQL Server database was located.

Ummm -- SQL Server express? Or was this VS Express W/O SQL Server? Or had they uninstalled SQL Server.

Neither of Visual Studio nor SQL Server Management Studio (the suite of database front-end tools) comes with a full SQL Server database - that's a completely separate install.

TRWTF on the last one is that the interviewee required the database backend to be fully accessible before he even started throwing anything together for the web front end (and as the database was not accessible, just throw together a quick-and-easy 'backend': e.g. xml, text file, SQLite, etc. to get it working). OTOH, the interviewer should have instead pulled in one of the developers and had the interviewee write up most of the stuff on a white/black board rather than putting him on a computer and told 'go'. That way they could audit any quirks that the guy throws into his code (like having the web frontend do direct sql queries rather than calling a separate library for database access).

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:36 • by pallen (unregistered)
Joshua Knarr: "I'd like to land the Command Center Administrator job."
Developer: "Unaccepted on landing zone."

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:42 • by boog (unregistered)
The second one is strange, even from an "affirmative action" perspective.

When I worked for the state, HR never required you to interview candidates that weren't suitable. However, you did have to document reasons justifying your decision not to interview (or if after interviewing, reasons for your decision to offer or not). But I guess "affirmative action" just means different things in different offices.

I do think it would be easy to justify a decision not to interview this person.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:42 • by Peter (unregistered)
315188 in reply to 315179
Amar:
May be her name was Krishnapriya or Krishnaveni. Krishna itself is a female name in some parts of India - where the real Krishna is called Krishnan.
Ah, thank you. I didn't know that. Live and learn!

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:45 • by Some Wonk (unregistered)
<troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:47 • by Steve (unregistered)
315190 in reply to 315189
Some Wonk:
<troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>

Of sorts, yes. Not sure what the troll tags were for, your basic assertion is accurate. A piece of paper can be a database, after all.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:48 • by charles (unregistered)
TRWTF is that no one has mentioned Bob Vila yet.

CAPTCHA - oppeto - a contrarian puppet maker?

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:51 • by Pop ulus (unregistered)
315192 in reply to 315176
No, that isn't Affirmative Action. At all. Read some Tim Wise before you make an ass out of yourself again.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 10:58 • by Craig (unregistered)
I think I found the job description:

http://jobs.webdirections.org/job/401/command-center-administrator-at-gsi-commercecom/

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:03 • by Steve (unregistered)
315195 in reply to 315194
Craig:
I think I found the job description:

http://jobs.webdirections.org/job/401/command-center-administrator-at-gsi-commercecom/


Since the WTF was the fact that there was no job description, I think we have to assume that's a different job.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:27 • by davedavenotdavemaybedave
Whilst it's a bit of a WTF that ACME Commerce didn't have a job description to hand, it's more of a WTF that the applicant didn't just google it. A command centre is a well-known term for a central live status monitoring facility. http://www.dell.com/content/topics/global.aspx/services/prosupport/gcc?c=us&cs=555&l=en&s=biz

It's quite possible this wasn't even an IT position - they may have wanted a high-level PA, not a sysadmin.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:28 • by B (unregistered)
One of GSI Commerce's clients is the NFL.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:31 • by friedo
315199 in reply to 315190
Steve:
Some Wonk:
<troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>

Of sorts, yes. Not sure what the troll tags were for, your basic assertion is accurate. A piece of paper can be a database, after all.


There are people (some right here on TDWTF) who insist that the word "database" has only one definition: an ATOM-compliant relational database management system.

Those people are generally no fun at parties.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:34 • by anon (unregistered)
315200 in reply to 315199
friedo:
Steve:
Some Wonk:
<troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>

Of sorts, yes. Not sure what the troll tags were for, your basic assertion is accurate. A piece of paper can be a database, after all.


There are people (some right here on TDWTF) who insist that the word "database" has only one definition: an ATOM-compliant relational database management system.

Those people are generally no fun at parties.


Actually, I would claim that anyone who has an opinion on what is or is not a database and likes to discuss that opinion is generally no fun at parties.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:35 • by kittyJ (unregistered)
315201 in reply to 315180
The true WTF is that the guy was asked to demo a solution to a specific web development problem, i.e. data driven menus, but everyone concerned got caught up worrying about where the data was to come from. It doesn't really matter as long as it comes from somewhere.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:40 • by CoderDan (unregistered)
315202 in reply to 315192
Pop ulus:
No, that isn't Affirmative Action. At all. Read some Tim Wise before you make an ass out of yourself again.


Especially since race was never mentioned, nor can it be implied or assumed by the story. Reminds me of a WTF I'll post one of these days.

Captcha: erat ... the mountain where Noah left his ark

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:42 • by fasterthanilook (unregistered)
Story 3: Sounds like a good place for an analogy the interviewer could actually understand... "This test is to see how well I use the tools of my trade. In effect, you have sat me down in front of a pile of scrap wood and asked me to build a box - with no hammer, no nails, no tools of any kind. Not a good way to see how well I use tools, is it?"

CAPTCHA: damnum (and the horses they rode in on?)

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:44 • by neminem (unregistered)
Man, command center administration would be a terrible job... I mean, sure, it's gotta be important, but they only make one thing, and it's a boring thing! Plus, it's like a zerg magnet in a rush.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:47 • by Marc B (unregistered)
I think the company in story #1 should hire the candidate in story #3. It's a perfect fit!

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 11:51 • by Batman (unregistered)
315206 in reply to 315162
Ronald M:

>They had installed Visual Studio and SQL Server's management tools, but there was no indication as to where a SQL Server database was located.

Ummm -- SQL Server express? Or was this VS Express W/O SQL Server? Or had they uninstalled SQL Server.


It's possible the story predates SQL Server Express (i.e., the MSDE days). Sure, he could have installed MSDE or the trial of SQL Server 2000 or something but maybe he thought it was bad form (or, depending on how the receptionist's PC is configured, impossible) to just go installing things willy nilly.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 12:00 • by fennec
315207 in reply to 315177
Mr. TA:
The real WTF is the support team's inability to tell HR to go where they belong upfront. "Not wanting to start any fights" = coward and pussy and idiotic and the real WTF.


Some people actually want to get things done at their jobs, and realize that starting a bunch of fights over every thing someone is doing wrong isn't very conducive to that.

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 12:00 • by Max (unregistered)
315208 in reply to 315158
Knux2:
Tier-3 Unicorn Jockey
Tier-3 Command Center Administrator
Tier-3 Jackalope Breeder
Tier-3 Humanoid-rabbit Egg Distributor

Tier-3 Wood Varnish Filterer (from The Onion, American Voices))

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 12:01 • by Ashamed (unregistered)
GSI Commerce's CEO was one of the Undercover Bosses on that TV show actually.

/name refers to actually knowing that...

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 12:03 • by me (unregistered)
315210 in reply to 315199
friedo:
Steve:
Some Wonk:
<troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>

Of sorts, yes. Not sure what the troll tags were for, your basic assertion is accurate. A piece of paper can be a database, after all.


There are people (some right here on TDWTF) who insist that the word "database" has only one definition: an ATOM-compliant relational database management system.

Those people are generally no fun at parties.

What does atom mean? Obviously you didn't mean ACID or else you would have said so, right?

CAPTCHA:populus -- as in populous?

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 12:11 • by chron3
315213 in reply to 315162
Ronald M:
>
Wow- she hosted Facebook and Google on her home computer for a period?!


No, no, you missed the obvious...

Wow- she hosted Facebook and Google on her home computer during her period?!

Re: The Command Center Administrator, and More

2010-07-22 12:19 • by Joe (unregistered)
315214 in reply to 315180
Cbuttius:
kittyJ:
Hmm, really not getting the last one - if I was going to demo something like this I'd just create a new web app and then a new SQL database mdf file in the App_Data folder and off I'd go.


You're hired!


More accurately: Leave your source code. We'll review it (read: immediately start using it in production), and get back to you (read: thanks for solving our problem -- don't expect to hear from us ever again).
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