Comment On The Dream Customer

Connection problems again. Quite literally not connected. Horrifyingly suprising how often things like this come up!

first btw :)

She needs to think outside the box. Or at least the shrink wrap.

akatherder:

She needs to think INside the box. Or at least the shrink wrap.

FTFY

I wonder what prompted her neighbor to finally put the password on their wireless. I'm betting their 10 year-old computer expert relative came by for a visit.

I personally cant wait until they bring out wireless power - then all I will need is wireless gas and I will be set.

Well, i dont know about you but my gas comes in pipes or canisters, not wires

Wait, why would she need to connect any wires to the wireLESS router??

It's not wireless if you attach a "LINE" which if you were any sort of IT professional you would know is another word for "WIRE".

Jamie:

Matt S:

Wait, why would she need to connect any wires to the wireLESS router??

The wireless router needs to be connected to a phone/cable line maybe.

No way, I have a wireless phone!

My girlfriend moved into a renthouse several months ago and discovered that someone in the neighborhood had an unsecured wireless network. She spent six months there using their network and never ordered her own service. She used to complain to me, "I couldn't get on yesterday during the day. I think they turn it off when they leave."

Matt:

Well, i dont know about you but my gas comes in pipes or canisters, not wires

Mine comes in beans.

me:

It's not wireless if you attach a "LINE" which if you were any sort of IT professional you would know is another word for "WIRE".

You are joking about this, right?

She'd be any ISP's dream customer.

Not her neighbor's ISP...

I was able to connect to a neighbour's network and none of his computers was protected. So I leached some new movies from him and looked at his family photos. Oh, his fat daughter (real ugly monster) had quite a diary. And the mails she had send (and received from) to a strange guy in Switzerland was quite disturbing. But quite funny when you compared her photos with her description of herself she has sent to him. And all the cybersex... via mail?! Strange folk.

But they protected their wireless some hours after I used their printer to print some nice pages like "Woooohoooo, I am the ghost in the machine! You will die today!". The usual stuff. ;)

Chahk:

I wonder what prompted her neighbor to finally put the password on their wireless. I'm betting their 10 year-old computer expert relative came by for a visit.

I'm betting the neighbor moved, or changed ISP. We have a similar event in my low-tech neighborhood. It's called the free newspaper.

Vollhorst:

But they protected their wireless some hours after I used their printer to print some nice pages like "Woooohoooo, I am the ghost in the machine! You will die today!". The usual stuff. ;)

Should have pulled a Jim Halpert and sent them messages from their future selves.

We have a rotation where one week a month we have to answer the support phone. A couple of our users are this clueless. It's tough to support someone like this because we're practically speaking different languages.

Code Dependent:

me:

It's not wireless if you attach a "LINE" which if you were any sort of IT professional you would know is another word for "WIRE".

You are joking about this, right?

If you have to plug it in (for power or communications) it's not really wireless is it? Any lawyers want to start a class action suit?

But it is wireless, no wires needed....

Jamie:

Matt S:

Wait, why would she need to connect any wires to the wireLESS router??

The wireless router needs to be connected to a phone/cable line maybe.

Probably also it needs to be plugged in to a electrical socket...

Saaid:

Code Dependent:

me:

It's not wireless if you attach a "LINE" which if you were any sort of IT professional you would know is another word for "WIRE".

You are joking about this, right?

If you have to plug it in (for power or communications) it's not really wireless is it? Any lawyers want to start a class action suit?

My access is over DSL, which comes via a phone line. I bought a wireless router so that I could connect all throughout the house instead of just where the phone line is. There is a phone wire from the router to the DSL; otherwise the router would be of no use. There is no wire between the computers and the router, which is why they call it "wireless".

Common sense must be applied.

Saaid:

If you have to plug it in (for power or communications) it's not really wireless is it? Any lawyers want to start a class action suit?

Yea...and fire engines aren't on fire either! WTF!?!?!

I'm looking at it from her perspective maybe.

me:

It's not wireless if you attach a "LINE" which if you were any sort of IT professional you would know is another word for "WIRE".

There is no line between the router and the CPU. This is different from regular routers. This is why it's called wireless.

There is a line between the phone jack and the router, because it is more efficient to have a hard line to the internet then say, have some sort of wireless router than got internet in the same way an iPhone does, and then rebroadcasted it in your home. That would be slow as death when compared to a direct ADSL line.

An iPhone also has a wireless router though, it's called a huge ass antenna with a blinking light on top, which has wires connected to it. Same concept, bigger scale.

Ahhhh. So merimeds me simular storry.

A Customer called Tech Support. He said that his comp doesnt turn on. Supporter ask if all wires connected properly.

He said: "Wait, till i get FlashLight"
Supporter: "Huh, why FlashLight?"
He: "Electricty is out"
Supporter: "Pack Your computer and return to the shop, you are too stupid to use it"

Costumer did that, but also he complaind to supporter boss. Next day Supporter lost his job

Code Dependent:

Saaid:

Code Dependent:

me:

It's not wireless if you attach a "LINE" which if you were any sort of IT professional you would know is another word for "WIRE".

You are joking about this, right?

If you have to plug it in (for power or communications) it's not really wireless is it? Any lawyers want to start a class action suit?

My access is over DSL, which comes via a phone line. I bought a wireless router so that I could connect all throughout the house instead of just where the phone line is. There is a phone wire from the router to the DSL; otherwise the router would be of no use. There is no wire between the computers and the router, which is why they call it "wireless".

Common sense must be applied.

I'm starting to see why MFD isn't funny: most posters would be annoyed by it!

Alan:

I personally cant wait until they bring out wireless power - then all I will need is wireless gas and I will be set.

Check out Tesla or if you depend on wiki for all your info: wikipedia

.

Having also worked at an ISP local to KW, Ontario, definitely NOT providing service outside Ontario and Quebec we would get all sorts of calls. A very memorable one went something like this:

(Caller ID displays Clearwater, FL.)
Cx: "I can't send email."
Me: "Okay, where are you located?"
Cx: "My _expensive_ _exclusive_ _private_ _resort_ _villa_ in _exclusive_ Clearwater, FL"
Me: "We don't offer service there.
Cx: "Of course my _exclusive_ _resort_ _villa_ has service from you!"
Me: "If you could go to www.whatismyip.com and let me know what it tells you."

(10 minutes of struggling to get her to do it)

Me: "That IP address is for SBC global. I am sorry, you aren't using our internet at this time, although you do have your email with us. They are known for blocking port 25 and thereby interfering with outgoing mail. You will need to either phone them for their mailserver information, or you will need to use our webmail service at webmail.example.com."

(Note that we did offer SMTP authentication on port 25 only at the time, so no point trying another port. Yes, that's a WTF. This ISP had plenty of WTFs past that.)

Cx: "Excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, but I pay a _lot_ of _money_ for my _exclusive_ _resort_ _villa_ and I can assure you they have your internet. I have a report due in the morning and must email it immediately!"
Me: "I'd really suggest you contact the concierge there and I'm sure their billing will show this not to be the case. We don't offer service outside of ON and PQ. If you'd like to follow my instructions and try webmail I'm sure we can get your report emailed out during this call."

(30 minutes of arguing ensues, Cx starts logging in to her POP account rather than webmail with the wrong password, hits cancel on outlook 30 times in a row)

Me: "Your account is now locked due to our IDS. You'll need to wait 15 minutes for it to release."

(This repeats itself for the next hour while she won't wait for her account to release so we can fix the password issue)

Cx (screaming at this point): "I'm going to call corporate [she was a corporate customer, she'd called residential service as corp. service is closed at 1 am] and cancel my account tomorrow. Your service is terrible. You're incompetent because my _private_ _exclusive_ _resort_ _villa_ must have your service and you're lying."
Me: "I'm sorry if you feel that way, clearly there's no way we can resolve this issue to your satisfaction. Thank you for calling XYZ ISP. Bye."

I checked that account for the next month every few days, not a single callback, and no cancellation call. I'm assuming she really did ask the concierge and at that point followed my instructions.

(The _words_ were actually said by Cx as description points on where she was staying, at least that many times.)

the sad thing is half the things u guys said.. happen to a support guy on a daily basis.

poor guys.

jtl:

There is no line between the router and the CPU.

If you keep trying to plug RJ45s into your CPU I'm amazed your computer has remained operational long enough for you to make a comment on here...

jtl:

... it is more efficient to have a hard line to the internet then say, have some sort of wireless router than got internet in the same way an iPhone does, and then rebroadcasted it in your home.

You mean like a 3G dongle? Like many people who live in forward thinking countries that have 3G networks now possess? Like I have and (if I really wanted to) could easily share completely wirelessly?

Yes, the technology exists to very easily have completely wireless internet. I will concede, however, that it is VERY slow and not really suitable for shared access...

I personally cant wait until they bring out wireless power...

Does induction through EMF count as wireless?

Jamie:

Matt S:

Wait, why would she need to connect any wires to the wireLESS router??

The wireless router needs to be connected to a phone/cable line maybe.

Oh really? Thanks for explanation ... *rolleyes*

Jamie:

Matt S:

Wait, why would she need to connect any wires to the wireLESS router??

The wireless router needs to be connected to a phone/cable line maybe.

Right, but it connects wirelessly. Why do you think they call it wireLESS if you have to have wires!?

Foreign Student:

Code Dependent:

Saaid:

Code Dependent:

me:

It's not wireless if you attach a "LINE" which if you were any sort of IT professional you would know is another word for "WIRE".

You are joking about this, right?

If you have to plug it in (for power or communications) it's not really wireless is it? Any lawyers want to start a class action suit?

My access is over DSL, which comes via a phone line. I bought a wireless router so that I could connect all throughout the house instead of just where the phone line is. There is a phone wire from the router to the DSL; otherwise the router would be of no use. There is no wire between the computers and the router, which is why they call it "wireless".

Common sense must be applied.

I'm starting to see why MFD isn't funny: most posters would be annoyed by it!

Ok. I see the problem. They should call them LESSwires routers not wireLESS routers. I still smell a lawsuit. They are clearly misrepresenting their products.

bstorer:

She'd be any ISP's dream customer.

Not her neighbor's ISP...

Guess that's why he got pissed off and turned on WEP. Blows my mind the people who just don't understand that the internet isn't magically available everywhere, and it always makes me laugh when someone starts trying to criminalize connecting to an unsecured WAP...Think of all the grannies in PMITA prison.

bstorer:

She'd be any ISP's dream customer.

Not her neighbor's ISP...

She was making her neighbour consume more bandwidth. Assuming it's being paid, her neighbor's ISP is glad too.

The problem isn't when they call the routers wireless, it's when the ISPs sell their broadband/ADSL as wireless - usually with the term “Wireless Broadband”, for something that you still get down a wire.

TRWTF is the combination of sarcasm and actual responses in this thread with explanations of what a wireless device is/is not/should/could be.

BOOOOOORING!

Well, she's obviously not the dream customer of the ISP she was leeching from.

jtl:

Probably also it needs to be plugged in to a electrical socket...

Batteries. Duh!

OK, this isn't really funny anymore.

I think that one was a joke.

Code Dependent:

My girlfriend moved into a renthouse several months ago and discovered that someone in the neighborhood had an unsecured wireless network. She spent six months there using their network and never ordered her own service. She used to complain to me, "I couldn't get on yesterday during the day. I think they turn it off when they leave."

I had a friend live exactly like that during his university years. We would chat on ICQ and he would apologize for his poor connection, saying that it was tricky picking up his neighbor's wireless signal sometimes! To be fair I think eventually he did talk to said neighbor about sharing the service and splitting the cost.

When my sister moved into her apartment in downtown Toronto I remember doing something similar for the first few days before she got her own internet hookup. Unfortunately the best places to connect to the neighbor's unsecured router was from inside the garbage room on her floor, or in the stairwell one floor above. Both awkward places to be caught crouched with a laptop.

And what's even more fun are the people who literally plug-and-play: unsecured router with default SSID and default admin password! Oh, the fun you can have (by changing their SSID to something more interesting, for one).

WhiskeyJack:

OK, this isn't really funny anymore.

You mean it was funny to start with?!?

Dude:

Ahhhh. So merimeds me simular storry.

A Customer called Tech Support. He said that his comp doesnt turn on. Supporter ask if all wires connected properly.

He said: "Wait, till i get FlashLight"
Supporter: "Huh, why FlashLight?"
He: "Electricty is out"
Supporter: "Pack Your computer and return to the shop, you are too stupid to use it"

Costumer did that, but also he complaind to supporter boss. Next day Supporter lost his job

You know - you might want to pack that English of yours (or at least your spelling) and return it to the shop; it clearly doesn't work either...

np: Saul Williams - Convict Colony (The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust!)

Saaid:

Foreign Student:

Code Dependent:

Saaid:

Code Dependent:

me:

It's not wireless if you attach a "LINE" which if you were any sort of IT professional you would know is another word for "WIRE".

You are joking about this, right?

If you have to plug it in (for power or communications) it's not really wireless is it? Any lawyers want to start a class action suit?

My access is over DSL, which comes via a phone line. I bought a wireless router so that I could connect all throughout the house instead of just where the phone line is. There is a phone wire from the router to the DSL; otherwise the router would be of no use. There is no wire between the computers and the router, which is why they call it "wireless".

Common sense must be applied.

I'm starting to see why MFD isn't funny: most posters would be annoyed by it!

Ok. I see the problem. They should call them LESSwires routers not wireLESS routers. I still smell a lawsuit. They are clearly misrepresenting their products.

Except LESSwires is grammatically incorrect. It should be FEWERwires.

SSID was Norris? OMG, her neighbour must have been Chuck Norris!

Ivan Milosavljevic:

SSID was Norris? OMG, her neighbour must have been Chuck Norris!

I pity the fool that would leach off Chuck's FEWER wires DSL connection

Jamie:

Matt S:

Wait, why would she need to connect any wires to the wireLESS router??

The wireless router needs to be connected to a phone/cable line maybe.

Does it? What of a wireless-to-wireless peer network?

jMo:

TRWTF is the combination of sarcasm and actual responses in this thread with explanations of what a wireless device is/is not/should/could be.

BOOOOOORING!

Thanks for spicing things up with your insightful, entertaining post.