Comment On The Intentional Slowdown

Despite being a very successful product, the core application maintained by N. L.’s company was completely proprietary, and I mean proprietary. It used its own database; you know, kind of like a normal relational database. Its proprietary database had its own proprietary querying language; you know, kind of like SQL. The application had its own scripting language; you know, kind of like VB. Planning ahead to version 2.0’s big new proprietary features, the company was excited to learn about the possibility of creating a parallel universe so that the physics the company operated under, too, could be proprietary. [expand full text]
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Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 12:49 • by Tukaro
In the following version, the laws of physics employed in their custom universe would further increase speed to process requests before they’re even submitted.
I believe you mean "increase speed to cause the application to crash before you even wanted to use it".

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 12:51 • by dustin (unregistered)
117367 in reply to 117363
This isn't a wtf.

They were building an application that would work wonders in a universe that they were planning to create. In this universe building applications that follow standards is a bad thing. This universe of course would be called WTF-U

Captcha: atari. In WTF-U atari is king of video games.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:04 • by Nezzar
This company "N.L." worked for isn't by any chance based in germany, is it?

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:04 • by Sunstorm
Maybe in their universe, time goes backwards. That way, the slower you go, the quicker you get the results.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:15 • by Michael Thompson (unregistered)
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:16 • by SmashAndGrab (unregistered)
And my day was going so well. I guess there has to be D^#%Head in every crowd. So,

Who cares : Your Mom, Your Sister ....

I know, childish. But I feel better.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:17 • by Yo (unregistered)
117381 in reply to 117379
Michael Thompson:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:19 • by sammybaby
Just another .NET app, built on standard practices and reliable technologies.


Ha! Hoo! Hee!

Ah. Phew! Man. That's the best WTF I've seen in ever.

(Sorry. I kid because I love, except when it's because I hate.)

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:20 • by mkb
was this GTech? A coworker at my last place worked there and worked on their re-designs of such protocols as TCP/IP and Ethernet.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:32 • by SmashAndGrab (unregistered)
117386 in reply to 117381
Yo:
Michael Thompson:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

What was I talking about?

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:33 • by Damo (unregistered)
Contractors were hired to build database-specific extensions and extended stored procedures in C++. Extended stored procedures allowed their team to have the convenience of linking DLLs with the database calls along with the simplicity and elegance of C++. What better way to intertwine the middle tier with the backend?


Next they'll be putting the CLR into SQL Server!

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:36 • by Mike (unregistered)
Okay... does anyone besides me see the WTF that is their moving to .NET and SQL Server? They're moving from proprietary to, I guess, bigger proprietary. And since it's not theirs anymore, their business is now at the mercy of Microsoft, which has no vested interest in their survival.

I'm not dissing choosing a MS solution; it just seems silly to use a solution that is extensively single-sourced.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:40 • by Yo (unregistered)
117394 in reply to 117386
SmashAndGrab:
Yo:
Michael Thompson:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

What was I talking about?


Apologize accepted.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:47 • by MrBester
117396 in reply to 117392
Mike:
Okay... does anyone besides me see the WTF that is their moving to .NET and SQL Server? They're moving from proprietary to, I guess, bigger proprietary. And since it's not theirs anymore, their business is now at the mercy of Microsoft, which has no vested interest in their survival.

I'm not dissing choosing a MS solution; it just seems silly to use a solution that is extensively single-sourced.

So, perhaps using Oracle would be better? Or DB2? Hell, even MySQL has managed to get an enterprisey classification...

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:48 • by zlogic
117397 in reply to 117389
Damo:

Next they'll be putting the CLR into SQL Server!

And after that they'll put real users into SQL Server, and they'll participate in command execution!

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:54 • by SomeCoder (unregistered)
117398 in reply to 117392
Mike:
Okay... does anyone besides me see the WTF that is their moving to .NET and SQL Server? They're moving from proprietary to, I guess, bigger proprietary. And since it's not theirs anymore, their business is now at the mercy of Microsoft, which has no vested interest in their survival.

I'm not dissing choosing a MS solution; it just seems silly to use a solution that is extensively single-sourced.


I would imagine a lot of people would disagree with you but I kind of agree.

At least going to .NET/SQL Server ensures that their app will be built upon something that is more industry standard than a proprietary language. I'm not a big fan of having to use/learn languages that are ONLY useful while I work for the company. I'd much prefer using .NET because that's marketable elsewhere...

However, the basis of your argument seems correct to me. Of course I work in a .NET shop and having worked here for a while, it's turned me against Microsoft... a LOT.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 13:58 • by Marcelo (unregistered)
117401 in reply to 117374
Or maybe in Campinas, Brazil?

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:02 • by THC (unregistered)
Dear Lord, why? "We build a system, and all our proprietory features sucked. Therefore, we need a new system with different proprietory features." The Saga continues.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:08 • by UnFleshed One
117405 in reply to 117394
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
Yo:
Michael Thompson:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

What was I talking about?


Apologize accepted.


And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:12 • by SchmidtBrickhouse
117408 in reply to 117374
Nezzar:
This company "N.L." worked for isn't by any chance based in germany, is it?


Yes, it does seem like this company likes to make its own systems, applications, and products...

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:17 • by Christophe (unregistered)
117410 in reply to 117363
The good news is that the application ran over twice as fast in the next version just by tweaking some sliders


Do those sliders go all the way up to 11?

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:20 • by foo (unregistered)

Contractors were hired to build database-specific extensions and extended stored procedures in C++. Extended stored procedures allowed their team to have the convenience of linking DLLs with the database calls along with the simplicity and elegance of C++. What better way to intertwine the middle tier with the backend?


Do you know what we used to have to use? Assembly and C that's what. So C++ is a giant leap forward you .NET script kiddie. Kids these days... yeesh.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:27 • by ssprencel
117415 in reply to 117413
foo:

Contractors were hired to build database-specific extensions and extended stored procedures in C++. Extended stored procedures allowed their team to have the convenience of linking DLLs with the database calls along with the simplicity and elegance of C++. What better way to intertwine the middle tier with the backend?


Do you know what we used to have to use? Assembly and C that's what. So C++ is a giant leap forward you .NET script kiddie. Kids these days... yeesh.


".NET script kiddie" Ooo man that's vicious. I like it.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:32 • by Captcha (unregistered)
117417 in reply to 117392
Mike:
Okay... does anyone besides me see the WTF that is their moving to .NET and SQL Server? They're moving from proprietary to, I guess, bigger proprietary. And since it's not theirs anymore, their business is now at the mercy of Microsoft, which has no vested interest in their survival.

I'm not dissing choosing a MS solution; it just seems silly to use a solution that is extensively single-sourced.


I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:39 • by roto (unregistered)
117419 in reply to 117392
.NET is actually an open standard. That is why things like Mono can exist and you are not at the mercy of Microsoft.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 14:50 • by mkb
117421 in reply to 117417
Captcha:
I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:02 • by roto (unregistered)
117427 in reply to 117421
mkb:
Captcha:
I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly


So Linux with Java is not competition for .NET on Windows? When was the last time you actually got help from a support tech? I seriously don't know because I have never called one. If you can't figure something out (whether the docs are current/correct or not) it doesn't mean .NET is a poor choice for a framework. I think Microsoft is very concerned about competition from open source, and that is why they work to improve .NET all the time. Look at the improvements from .NET 1.1 to 2.0 and look at the work they are doing with Cw (C omega). Java also has great improvements over the last several versions. It looks like competition to me.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:18 • by Oliver Townshend (unregistered)
There's a competing vertical accounting product I come across everyone now and then which uses its own database (well the old one does, the new one has Oracle). When we convert the client to a new system, not only does the client have to provide us with an explanation of the data, reports, balancing etc. they have to pay the vendor $AU20000 to extract the data (because its a proprietary product natch).

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:19 • by JimiH (unregistered)
117432 in reply to 117421
mkb:
Captcha:
I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly


Yeah, because no other software company has ever had a bug in their documentation. Microsoft is such bastards!

In my 15-something years as a professional software developer using Microsoft tools, I've had to call Microsoft support exactly once, and they bent-over backwards to help me. Other "support" type problems I've always been able to figure it out on my own, Google the answer, or I've gotten answers from the numerous public forums out on the tubes.

Need an immediate answer from Microsoft or a customer is going to sue? Sounds like the WTFs started long before Microsoft support got involved.

Captcha: Kiss the sky

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:19 • by craaazy (unregistered)
117433 in reply to 117419
roto:
.NET is actually an open standard. That is why things like Mono can exist and you are not at the mercy of Microsoft.


Only if you're a Novell customer or if you don't use ADO.NET, ASP.NET, or Windows.Forms

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:26 • by Joel (unregistered)
117437 in reply to 117363
The application had its own scripting language; you know, kind of like VB

Hmmm, sounds like Joel on Software's FogBugz: Wasabi

captcha: Xevious

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:37 • by Ben (unregistered)
The first company I worked for had created a server-side scripting language for in-house use that was similar to ColdFusion/PHP/ASP/whatever, and had done it about a year and a half before ColdFusion came out. So that was pretty visionary, and props to them. However, they then proceeded to coast on that success by using the language for every new project they undertook, even as ColdFusion and PHP surpassed them in maturity and features and efficiency and... well, pretty much every way. Since this language was the company's crowning achievement, though, it was absolutely forbidden to think that it wasn't STILL the best thing since sliced bread, or that there was any reason to switch to anything else. Ironically, it was that success that ultimately drove them into the ground, a full year before the rest of the dot-com bubble broke.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:41 • by James Schend (unregistered)
117445 in reply to 117367
dustin:
This isn't a wtf.

They were building an application that would work wonders in a universe that they were planning to create. In this universe building applications that follow standards is a bad thing. This universe of course would be called WTF-U

Captcha: atari. In WTF-U atari is king of video games.


Hey, Atari makes some pretty damned good games. What's with the Atari diss out of nowhere?

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:42 • by Yo (unregistered)
117447 in reply to 117405
UnFleshed One:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
Yo:
Michael Thompson:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

What was I talking about?


Apologize accepted.


And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).


Oh Sorry I apology

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 15:56 • by roto (unregistered)
117451 in reply to 117433
craaazy:
roto:
.NET is actually an open standard. That is why things like Mono can exist and you are not at the mercy of Microsoft.


Only if you're a Novell customer or if you don't use ADO.NET, ASP.NET, or Windows.Forms



I don't know what being a Novell customer has to do with it, it is open source. From http://mono-project.com: "Runs ASP.NET and Winforms applications."

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 16:00 • by themagni
117452 in reply to 117421
mkb:
Captcha:
I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly


You mean when someone calls to say rational things like:

"Why is my site down? I get over a bazillion dollars in business a day and I expect 100% uptime from you, you lowest-priced host I could find. I'm going to sue you for that lost revenue and all the emotional distress. I've lost three houses during this conversation! Now my wife's left me! What's wrong with you?"

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 16:13 • by Hit (unregistered)
Amazingly, no one's mentioned that there is yet another iteration of

DoEverythingConceivable(Object what, Object whatToDo)

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 16:20 • by SmashAndGrab (unregistered)
Honestly, I dont really care what environment I work in or what language I use. If the customer says they want it written in AWK, then I write in AWK. If they want me to update from an old version of VFP to a new version of VFP, then I do that. Anything. It really comes down to one thing, and that is money. If they want to pay to drive an old beat up bus with three tires and a broken left turn signal, rather than going for a newer model, then I give them what they want. I will express what I think they should do, but in the end, it is the customers' decision.

When Goofy had the checkbook, you wear Goofy clothes.

C

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 16:35 • by John Doe (unregistered)
117465 in reply to 117447
Yo:
UnFleshed One:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
Yo:
Michael Thompson:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

What was I talking about?


Apologize accepted.


And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).


Oh Sorry I apology


This comment will probably make it to the main page if it continues for much longer...

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 16:47 • by Rich (unregistered)
I once wrote an extended stored procedure that basically called Sleep(). I can't remember what for now but I think it had something to do with waiting for some kind of bank processing to go through.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 16:58 • by MasterPlanSoftware
117470 in reply to 117465
John Doe:
Yo:
UnFleshed One:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
Yo:
Michael Thompson:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

What was I talking about?


Apologize accepted.


And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).


Oh Sorry I apology


This comment will probably make it to the main page if it continues for much longer...


Whoa. I am getting dizzy.... I need to sit down.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 17:06 • by MasterPlanSoftware
117472 in reply to 117421
mkb:
Captcha:
I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly


Judging by your attitude and the kind of unfounded opinion you are spouting here, you are exactly the kind of guy I wouldn't give much help to over the phone either. This reeks of all the people who submit 'bug reports' ("I found a bug!" to every forum) about anything and everything in Vista and then LOLOL and say M$ sucks!

Grow up... no one is 'out to get you'. Do some more research about .NET philosophy and the mono project, and then maybe you can find some grounds for an argument. In the meantime, your comments about .NET being proprietary are simply ridiculous...

I am not all that surprised your customers call in ready to sue for an answer... Especially when you undoubtedly start blaming Microsoft for all of your problems....

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 17:07 • by SmashAndGrab (unregistered)
117473 in reply to 117470
MasterPlanSoftware:
John Doe:
Yo:
UnFleshed One:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
Yo:
Michael Thompson:
Yo:
SmashAndGrab:
And I am apalled.


and who cares?


I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

What was I talking about?


Apologize accepted.


And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).


Oh Sorry I apology


This comment will probably make it to the main page if it continues for much longer...


Whoa. I am getting dizzy.... I need to sit down.


I wonder if there is a limit on quotes in this? Alex?

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 17:23 • by Zylon (unregistered)
This thread is an excellent demonstration of why useful features will always be abused by morons.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 17:26 • by Duston (unregistered)
Didn't Borland put delay loops in some of their software back in the 80's? And when they took them out, they crowed about their performance improvements? Or maybe I'm just showing my age...in more way than one.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 17:34 • by facetious (unregistered)
117479 in reply to 117473
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and who cares?[/quote]

I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)[/quote]

Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'[/quote]

I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

What was I talking about?[/quote]

Apologize accepted.[/quote]

And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).[/quote]

Oh Sorry I apology[/quote]

This comment will probably make it to the main page if it continues for much longer...[/quote]

Whoa. I am getting dizzy.... I need to sit down.[/quote]

I wonder if there is a limit on quotes in this? Alex?[/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote]

Good question. Better answer?

CAPTCHA: darwin ... even BETTER answer???

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 17:34 • by bullseye
117480 in reply to 117432
JimiH:
In my 15-something years as a professional software developer using Microsoft tools, I've had to call Microsoft support exactly once, and they bent-over backwards to help me.


I had a similar experience. We were developing a Windows Service that had some very odd behavior that was out of reach of the debugger. They sent us a special set of debugging .dlls for XP, and once the application "failed", they took the debugging information, analyzed it for us, and then proceeded to help us target the problem. I had a steady stream of conversation going with the same guy for over a week. Most vendors would have passed the buck in a day or so and said it was something wrong we were doing.

Of course, those that are trashing Microsoft's support have never actually called it, so I am just preaching to the choir.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 17:44 • by Bill (unregistered)
117482 in reply to 117480
bullseye:
JimiH:
In my 15-something years as a professional software developer using Microsoft tools, I've had to call Microsoft support exactly once, and they bent-over backwards to help me.


I had a similar experience. We were developing a Windows Service that had some very odd behavior that was out of reach of the debugger. They sent us a special set of debugging .dlls for XP, and once the application "failed", they took the debugging information, analyzed it for us, and then proceeded to help us target the problem. I had a steady stream of conversation going with the same guy for over a week. Most vendors would have passed the buck in a day or so and said it was something wrong we were doing.

Of course, those that are trashing Microsoft's support have never actually called it, so I am just preaching to the choir.


They're probably relating their experience with the end-user OS support (which is AWFUL). I have also found the developer support to be pretty good.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 18:08 • by phx (unregistered)
117488 in reply to 117462
Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.

Re: The Intentional Slowdown

2007-02-07 18:09 • by phx (unregistered)
117489 in reply to 117462
Clicked the wrong button again. This was directed at this comment:

SmashAndGrab:
Honestly, I dont really care what environment I work in or what language I use. If the customer says they want it written in AWK, then I write in AWK. If they want me to update from an old version of VFP to a new version of VFP, then I do that. Anything. It really comes down to one thing, and that is money. If they want to pay to drive an old beat up bus with three tires and a broken left turn signal, rather than going for a newer model, then I give them what they want. I will express what I think they should do, but in the end, it is the customers' decision.

When Goofy had the checkbook, you wear Goofy clothes.

C

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