• Aaron (unregistered)

    It's always a bad sign whenever you see a function with "what" as a parameter.

    But the Real WTF™ is the tiny army of slashdotters on this site. Please, just go away.

  • Been there, done that (unregistered) in reply to Tukaro

    I've heard about a system admin who allocated 1 CPU with 4 VIRTUAL CPU's on it for programmers to develop their stuff on so they were forced to write more efficient code.

    They still think they are running on 4 separate CPU's...

  • mnature (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    This thread is an excellent demonstration of why useful features will always be abused by morons.

    I think you just insulted the morons . . .

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Oliver Townshend
    Oliver Townshend:
    There's a competing vertical accounting product I come across everyone now and then which uses its own database (well the old one does, the new one has Oracle). When we convert the client to a new system, not only does the client have to provide us with an explanation of the data, reports, balancing etc. they have to pay the vendor $AU20000 to extract the data (because its a proprietary product natch).

    Sounds a lot like switch from "Great Plains Real World" to "Microsoft 'Dynamics' Great Plains 9"... It makes me cry.

    CAPTCHA: wigwam - I used to make tepees with chairs and blankets.

  • (cs)

    The beginnings of this WTF reminds me of a small start I joined a couple of years ago. They were already about 6 months in developement, but one of the other developers no longer had free time. (It was early in the startup phase)

    I was asked to step in and work on some of the front end code (all in javescript)

    They and done some research and decided that SQL was too slow, and so they created their own database. This essentially amounted to a collection of text files. While I think a highly specialized proprietary database can be faster than SQL, this one wasn't specialized. And with a dozen or so text files per day, per user (with potentialy thousands of users) the NTFS would be swamped!

    When I took over the data came over from the server in the form of a matrix (delimited with # signs, because he figured that would be less likely to be used than commas. Never mind that it is impossible for commas to exist in our data, and yes #'s could exist) So all sorting was done on the client. Not long after I joined it was discovered that we couldn't send 20K records over to the client, and expect it to sort them in a usefull timeframe. So the other developer started adding things like sorting into his backend database.

    I figured I could have rewritten everything to use SQL in less time than it took him to add Sort to the database.

    Needless to say, the whole shebang collapsed a few months later.

  • (cs) in reply to Been there, done that
    Been there:
    I've heard about a system admin who allocated 1 CPU with 4 VIRTUAL CPU's on it for programmers to develop their stuff on so they were forced to write more efficient code.

    They still think they are running on 4 separate CPU's...

    That's my kind of sysadmin! If you tell them how much hardware you have, they'll burn it up.

  • Look at me! I'm on the internets! (unregistered) in reply to Hit
    Hit:
    Amazingly, no one's mentioned that there is yet another iteration of

    DoEverythingConceivable(Object what, Object whatToDo)

    That's not a WTF, that's good use of the Command design pattern. GoF be praised!

    Captcha:RIAA Everybody panic!

  • SmashAndGrab (unregistered) in reply to phx
    phx:
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.

    Oh please. I havent been doing this for so long just to get called out by a granola eating, sandal wearing unix freak. The only paradigm worth following in programming is that of money. That is the only reason the vast majority of programmers got into it for. Well, that and all of the hot chicks......

  • ItsMe (unregistered)

    Adding delays into processes like this are not always a bad idea - in fact, its been used in on-line banking systems for years! Its called setting expectations.

    Take a scenario... users have always received responses from systems in, say, 1 second under 'normal' load. What happens, then, when load becomes heavy? The users start to moan that its slow, and the obnoxious of them ring to complain that its taking 2 seconds...

    How do you reduce the calls to the support lines? Make all faster responses wait, and come back in 2 seconds. Immediately, the normalised expectation is 2 seconds - and when the systems are busy, its still 2 seconds. Do the users care? heck no. Its always been like that...

  • (cs) in reply to Been there, done that
    Been there:
    I've heard about a system admin who allocated 1 CPU with 4 VIRTUAL CPU's on it for programmers to develop their stuff on so they were forced to write more efficient code.

    They still think they are running on 4 separate CPU's...

    I love it.

    To everyone else, someone call the whaaaaaaambulance. Get over yourselves already. MS/*nix/Apple/etc is not evil, they want money, fame, and cool toys just like everyone else. Just use the best tool for the job.

  • (cs) in reply to James Schend
    James Schend:
    dustin:
    This isn't a wtf.

    They were building an application that would work wonders in a universe that they were planning to create. In this universe building applications that follow standards is a bad thing. This universe of course would be called WTF-U

    Captcha: atari. In WTF-U atari is king of video games.

    Hey, Atari makes some pretty damned good games. What's with the Atari diss out of nowhere?

    Atari forever.

  • mOdQuArK! (unregistered) in reply to SmashAndGrab

    Don't you even try to suggest alternative solutions if they seem appropriate?

  • (cs) in reply to SmashAndGrab
    SmashAndGrab:
    phx:
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.

    Oh please. I havent been doing this for so long just to get called out by a granola eating, sandal wearing unix freak. The only paradigm worth following in programming is that of money. That is the only reason the vast majority of programmers got into it for. Well, that and all of the hot chicks......

    See now, here's the problem with allowing unregistered users to post comments. Is this the same SmashAndGrab that was trolling at the start of the comments?

    Thinking of which, does this person even speak English at home? Probably not, they seem to have difficulty finding the subject and object of a sentence.

    Do they understand that not everything said is a personal attack directed against them? Maybe, but they’re too shallow to see life that way.

    Perhaps this individual just lacks social skills and basic, common decency. So instead of being civil they’re trying to be smart by harassing the non Microsoft users here.

    WTF?

  • Wulf (unregistered) in reply to SmashAndGrab
    SmashAndGrab:
    phx:
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.

    Oh please. I havent been doing this for so long just to get called out by a granola eating, sandal wearing unix freak. The only paradigm worth following in programming is that of money. That is the only reason the vast majority of programmers got into it for. Well, that and all of the hot chicks......

    I got into programming because it is something I enjoy. I went to school to get a degree as the dotcom bubble burst and everyone left the field because the money went elsewhere. I love the creative and powerful side of programming. I would do it for food and somewhere to live, and still be happy.

  • Peter Antoine (unregistered) in reply to phx
    phx:
    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    I bloody would! Now that sounds like a challenge.

    That's why I got into computers because of the challenge. I want to do things that nobody else has/can do. I want to push myself. I want to write code that stands up and I can be proud of. Not just glueing together other peoples libraries. ich!

    Now, how do I find somebody stupid, sorry I mean visionary enough to fund me....

  • (cs)

    I have often built delays into my applications. It is all about users' expectations. In one case, we found in UAT that the users simply didn't believe that the updates had taken place as it was going too fast, so they would hit the 'Update' button over and over. When we built in a 3-second delay with an hourglass, they were now happy that the machine was doing something. In another ( client-server ) app, we had some windows that were very fast to load, and others that were slower. The users found this disconcerting, and winged about the disparity, so we put delays on the fast ones, and worked hard to tune the slow ones. When we deployed version 2, with the slow windows tuned up and the delays taken out of the fast ones, they were soooo impressed!

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Peter Antoine
    Peter Antoine:
    phx:
    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    I bloody would! Now that sounds like a challenge.

    That's why I got into computers because of the challenge. I want to do things that nobody else has/can do. I want to push myself. I want to write code that stands up and I can be proud of. Not just glueing together other peoples libraries. ich!

    Now, how do I find somebody stupid, sorry I mean visionary enough to fund me....

    Often people with bad ideas will not pay, because will end bankrupt.

  • (cs) in reply to ItsMe

    It is also worth putting big delays (and obvious bugs) into prototypes.

    Sometimes management see the prototype and want to go live with it despite develper concerns.

  • Shaper (unregistered) in reply to roto
    roto:
    craaazy:
    roto:
    .NET is actually an open standard. That is why things like Mono can exist and you are not at the mercy of Microsoft.
    Only if you're a Novell customer or if you don't use ADO.NET, ASP.NET, or Windows.Forms
    I don't know what being a Novell customer has to do with it, it is open source. From http://mono-project.com: "Runs ASP.NET and Winforms applications."
    Indeed. But ASP.NET, ADO and WinForms aren't covered under the ECMA/ISO standards precisely because Microsoft holds patents over them that it flatly refuses to release (or at least pledge not to use).

    In other words, even if the specs are released there's no guarantee MS's lawyers won't come knocking on your door at any point in the future, entirely at their discretion.

    Welcome to the wonderful world of software patents, where just having a good idea isn't enough - now you've got to have a good idea, a prayer no-one's already patented it and a spare army of lawyers to defend against accusations of patent infringement.

    Mmmmm... progress.

  • (cs) in reply to chriseyre2000
    chriseyre2000:
    It is also worth putting big delays (and obvious bugs) into prototypes.

    Sometimes management see the prototype and want to go live with it despite develper concerns.

    When are people going to learn?

    You never, and I mean NEVER build a functional prototype; either stub out the GUI so it looks semi-nice and does absolutely nothing except pop dialogs saying "xxx will happen here once we build it', or create a crude console application that simply prints "xxx will happen here once we build it". This way, your quickly-thrown-together prototype can't possibly be deployed - because it doesn't DO anything!

  • JD (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    When are people going to learn?

    You never, and I mean NEVER build a functional prototype; either stub out the GUI so it looks semi-nice and does absolutely nothing except pop dialogs saying "xxx will happen here once we build it', or create a crude console application that simply prints "xxx will happen here once we build it". This way, your quickly-thrown-together prototype can't possibly be deployed - because it doesn't DO anything!

    Sometimes you have users that refuse to test your app unless they can use data that they are comfortable with (i.e. you have to make an app functional enough to enter data). And Many times you have managers that simply cannot (or will not) understand how something will work unless you show them exactly (they simply have no vision, and can only tell you when the app doesn't do what they want). It sad, but oftimes you must develop functional prototypes in order to get the feedback you need and buy-in from management.
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to phx
    phx:
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.

    ROFLMAO!!

    Some people haven't figured it out yet. For those people: You CAN fire your customers, you know. You can choose to do business with a customer or not. If you feel you MUST service every request you get, if you feel you HAVE to go "where the money is", then you are a slave (to money) and need to grow a spine.

    Now, on the other hand, if you LIKE programming in punch cards or the like and the $$ is worth it to you, fine - do it.

  • Toft (unregistered) in reply to Duston

    I've had some good laughs at the comments section but this actually made me fall out of my chair :)

    (I wouldn't find it strange at all if Borland did these kinds of things in the 90's anyway)

  • Toft (unregistered) in reply to Toft

    ...And I was trying to quote

    Didn't Borland put delay loops in some of their software back in the 80's? And when they took them out, they crowed about their performance improvements? Or maybe I'm just showing my age...in more way than one.
  • (cs) in reply to Nezzar
    Nezzar:
    This company "N.L." worked for isn't by any chance based in germany, is it?
    Haha, that was exactly my wonder as well :-p
  • Codey (unregistered)

    "The application was maintenance hell – not just because of confusing, undocumented code, but because finding, training, and keeping staff on was near impossible. The company decided that the application would be ported to .NET and SQL Server."

    ...ahhh so to get rid of problems in finding, training, and keeping staff they chose to run on confusing, undocumented code? Nice choice...

  • Codey (unregistered)

    "The application was maintenance hell – not just because of confusing, undocumented code, but because finding, training, and keeping staff on was near impossible. The company decided that the application would be ported to .NET and SQL Server."

    ...ahhh so to reduce their difficulty in finding, training, and keeping staff they chose to run their application on proprietary, confusing, ondocumented code..only this time it's not theirs?

  • Codey (unregistered) in reply to Codey

    Hmmm...you guys might want to check your validation...I didn't enter squat for the "CAPTCHA test" but was still allowed to post...my assumption that the first would fail resulted in the second post below.

  • binky (unregistered) in reply to roto
    roto:
    So Linux with Java is not competition for .NET on Windows?

    That is correct.

    I've worked at a place that had their own proprietary language before and I pray that I never go back. Just the advantage of being able to Google for answers on a standard language is a huge for a developer.

  • Bilbo Baggins (unregistered)

    I'm working on a project now where the vendor produced their own version of Open LDAP and Java.

    Every patch we get has weird bugs, and the standard interface tools to LDAP do not work with their (proprietary) system.

    Looking at the code, we've determined they actually copied most of the libraries from the originals, and tweaked them to make them 'proprietary'.

    Of course, they are charging us an arm and a leg for this cruft -- for an ostensibly 'open' architecture system that we designed so we could easily change software and venders on. Now we are locked in while they hold our customer data hostage...

    Captcha: doom - what I feel every day at work.

  • jell0r (unregistered)
    In the following version, the laws of physics employed in their custom universe would further increase speed to process requests before they’re even submitted.
    Actually, there is some serieus scientific research on this topic. It is called Time Travel Computing, which uses Closed Timelike Curves (CTC's) in a quantum computer. I don't know the details, but I believe that the idea is that with the use of quantum effects a quantum gate can be made that uses a part of the result of a function as input to compute that result. One of the first publications on this subject is made by D. Deutsch, in 1991: "Quantum mechanics near closed timelike lines." (Phys. Rev. D, 44:3197-3217). An interesting paper to read on this and other exotic computation models is "NP Complete Problems and Physical Reality" (S. Aaronson, 2005).
  • sol (unregistered) in reply to SmashAndGrab
    SmashAndGrab:
    Honestly, I dont really care what environment I work in or what language I use. If the customer says they want it written in AWK, then I write in AWK. If they want me to update from an old version of VFP to a new version of VFP, then I do that. Anything. It really comes down to one thing, and that is money. If they want to pay to drive an old beat up bus with three tires and a broken left turn signal, rather than going for a newer model, then I give them what they want. I will express what I think they should do, but in the end, it is the customers' decision.

    When Goofy had the checkbook, you wear Goofy clothes.

    C

    integrity mean anything to you? maybe sense of doing a good job? or maybe if you do a good job you get a second job? wait no you're the what the hell I got paid guy... got it

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