Comment On What the Ad? - RPG Edition

Back in the day, when computer graphics ranged between non-existent and lousy and system specs called for RAM amounts usually less than 256k, and floppy disks were still...floppy, games that relied mostly upon the user's imagination provided the biggest bang for their software buck. Instead of the up, down, left, right, B, A, etc., it was all about typing in verbose commands like Look, Take, Get, Kill, and so on. However, where these games lacked in the graphics and gameplay perspective (at least from the modern perspective), there's one thing that they often got right - simulating the mindset of the jerkwad dungeon master. [expand full text]
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Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:15 • by C4I_Officer
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Hey, I have an issue of Conan the Barbarian with that exact front cover pic from the Compuserve ad!

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:17 • by Dan Moore (unregistered)
Reply Quote
You know, it sure looks like some word has been deleted from that Compuserve ad, right after the "two". Maybe "hundred" or "thousand". Either would make more sense as a prize.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:21 • by evilspoons (unregistered)
241665 in reply to 241664
Reply Quote
Dan Moore:
You know, it sure looks like some word has been deleted from that Compuserve ad, right after the "two". Maybe "hundred" or "thousand". Either would make more sense as a prize.


I agree - there's enough room for the word "hours" on the previous line, so why isn't it there?

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:28 • by C4I_Officer
Reply Quote
The real WTF is the "discette" syntax for "diskette" in the Nemesis ad, I never heard of the former. "Floppy disk" and "floppy disc" yeah, but never "discette".

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:36 • by MrOli (unregistered)
Reply Quote
Why is your inability to play, as well as your hatred of, text based games a WTF?

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:37 • by EFH (unregistered)
Reply Quote
The description of Compuserve in that MMORPG contest advert touts "CB Simulation" as one of the features; they're obviously talking about online chat rooms. The youngsters here might not realize "CB" stands for "Citizen's Band (radio)" -- truckers use them to talk to each other. For a few years in the 1970s -- back before the age of the cell phone -- having a CB radio in your car was a big fad. You could talk to strangers from your car! Whoopee!

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:39 • by foo (unregistered)
Reply Quote
The real WTF is WTF is this article to do with WTF?

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:41 • by Xyzzy (unregistered)
Reply Quote
> look
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
Exits are: back, google
> post comment
You have no comment!
> look comment
It's a comment lying on the floor. It's probably more clever than anything you can come up with. (But a touch pedantic. You'd never do that.)
> take comment
You can't take that, it's not yours!
> kick comment
You sprain your toe!
> invent
You have:
unlit lamp
coins
empty cage
bad attitude
CAPTCHA
> look CAPTCHA
It says: "saluto". Maybe it speaks Esperanto?
> north
It's dark. You may be eaten by a grue.
> south
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
> say saluto
You gain: comment
> post comment

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:44 • by Walleye (unregistered)
Reply Quote
The article's author may be eaten by a grue.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 09:59 • by Dugeen (unregistered)
Reply Quote
The old ads are fun - but could we have some dates to put them in context?

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:01 • by kastein
241674 in reply to 241671
Reply Quote
Xyzzy:
> look
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
Exits are: back, google
> post comment
You have no comment!
> look comment
It's a comment lying on the floor. It's probably more clever than anything you can come up with. (But a touch pedantic. You'd never do that.)
> take comment
You can't take that, it's not yours!
> kick comment
You sprain your toe!
> invent
You have:
unlit lamp
coins
empty cage
bad attitude
CAPTCHA
> look CAPTCHA
It says: "saluto". Maybe it speaks Esperanto?
> north
It's dark. You may be eaten by a grue.
> south
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
> say saluto
You gain: comment
> post comment


ahahaha, that may be the first "ironic meta-comment" I have ever actually laughed at. My hat's off to you.

EDIT: no grammar/spelling trolling mentioned though? s/grue/grammar nazi/ !

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:02 • by Satanicpuppy
241675 in reply to 241671
Reply Quote
Xyzzy:
> look
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
Exits are: back, google
> post comment
You have no comment!
> look comment
It's a comment lying on the floor. It's probably more clever than anything you can come up with. (But a touch pedantic. You'd never do that.)
> take comment
You can't take that, it's not yours!
> kick comment
You sprain your toe!
> invent
You have:
unlit lamp
coins
empty cage
bad attitude
CAPTCHA
> look CAPTCHA
It says: "saluto". Maybe it speaks Esperanto?
> north
It's dark. You may be eaten by a grue.
> south
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
> say saluto
You gain: comment
> post comment


And that is why I hated Zork. It's not an exercise in reasoning or logic, its an exercise in thinking exactly like a guy who is so far deviated from the norm that he writes text adventure games.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:02 • by Crash Magnet (unregistered)
Reply Quote
You read twisting comments all alike.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:03 • by GettinSadda
241677 in reply to 241671
Reply Quote
Xyzzy:
> look
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
Exits are: back, google
> post comment
You have no comment!
> look comment
It's a comment lying on the floor. It's probably more clever than anything you can come up with. (But a touch pedantic. You'd never do that.)
> take comment
You can't take that, it's not yours!
> kick comment
You sprain your toe!
> invent
You have:
unlit lamp
coins
empty cage
bad attitude
CAPTCHA
> look CAPTCHA
It says: "saluto". Maybe it speaks Esperanto?
> north
It's dark. You may be eaten by a grue.
> south
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
> say saluto
You gain: comment
> post comment

Blue - Now!!

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:10 • by Anon (unregistered)
Reply Quote
"If I were a level twenty raver..."

lol and kudos to the author; man I miss those parties.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:17 • by Anon (unregistered)
241679 in reply to 241674
Reply Quote
kastein:
Xyzzy:
> look
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
Exits are: back, google
> post comment
You have no comment!
> look comment
It's a comment lying on the floor. It's probably more clever than anything you can come up with. (But a touch pedantic. You'd never do that.)
...


ahahaha, that may be the first "ironic meta-comment" I have ever actually laughed at. My hat's off to you.

EDIT: no grammar/spelling trolling mentioned though? s/grue/grammar nazi/ !


I think the "touch pedantic" was directed at grammar nazis.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:22 • by Anon (unregistered)
Reply Quote
Ah, the joys of struggling with the parser it a text-based adventure game. The joy of not knowing if what you just tried didn't work because it's not the solution to the problem, or if you just didn't word it correctly.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:28 • by Shmork (unregistered)
Reply Quote
What's nice about the Compuserve ad is that they basically acknowledge that its a huge rip-off: "And practice, practice, practice. How else will we be able to afford the T-shirts?" Har-dee-har-har.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:29 • by amischiefr
241683 in reply to 241671
Reply Quote
Xyzzy:
> look
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
Exits are: back, google
> post comment
You have no comment!
> look comment
It's a comment lying on the floor. It's probably more clever than anything you can come up with. (But a touch pedantic. You'd never do that.)
> take comment
You can't take that, it's not yours!
> kick comment
You sprain your toe!
> invent
You have:
unlit lamp
coins
empty cage
bad attitude
CAPTCHA
> look CAPTCHA
It says: "saluto". Maybe it speaks Esperanto?
> north
It's dark. You may be eaten by a grue.
> south
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
> say saluto
You gain: comment
> post comment


Brilliant! Nicely done. Made me laugh.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:42 • by DaveK
Reply Quote

Scene from Zork II: TDWTF edition. 
You are in The Daily WTF forums.

You can see:

  a rusty old TinyMCE.

  a troll.

  another troll.

  another troll.

  actually, really quite a lot of trolls.



> EXAMINE MCE

Which MCE?  The crap one, the crap one, the crap one or the

crap one?



> TINY

It looks like it might delete two characters when you press

backspace once!  Fucking hell!



> PLUGH

A hollow voice says "Fool".



> IT'S PROBABLY JUST MPS

Yes.  >Sigh<

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:48 • by Grub (unregistered)
Reply Quote
An angry mob of commenters, all alike.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:49 • by Andy Goth
Reply Quote
> THROW BABY

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:50 • by Forte (unregistered)
Reply Quote
"Grand Masters (plural) win 2 hours free time."
Maybe it's easy to be a Grand Master, so there are a lot of winners.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:52 • by Andy Goth
Reply Quote
THY DUNGEONMAN

YOU ARE THY DUNGEONMAN!

Ye find yourself in yon dungeon. Ye see a SCROLL. Behind ye SCROLL is a FLASK. Obvious exists are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.

What wouldst thou deau?
> GET YE FLASK

Ye cannot get the flask. It is firmly bolted to a wall which is bolted to the rest of the dungeon which is probably bolted to a castle. Never you mind.

What wouldst thou deau?
>

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:54 • by Anon (unregistered)
241691 in reply to 241681
Reply Quote
Anon:
Ah, the joys of struggling with the parser it a text-based adventure game. The joy of not knowing if what you just tried didn't work because it's not the solution to the problem, or if you just didn't word it correctly.


> Tie rope to doohickey
You can't do that

> Fasten rope to doohickey
I don't know how to "Fasten"

> Use rope with doohickey
You can't use those things together

>Arrgghhhhh
I don't know how to "Arrgghhhh"

> Tie doohickey to rope
You tie the doohickey to the rope

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:55 • by SomeCoder (unregistered)
241692 in reply to 241671
Reply Quote
Xyzzy:
> look
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
Exits are: back, google
> post comment
You have no comment!
> look comment
It's a comment lying on the floor. It's probably more clever than anything you can come up with. (But a touch pedantic. You'd never do that.)
> take comment
You can't take that, it's not yours!
> kick comment
You sprain your toe!
> invent
You have:
unlit lamp
coins
empty cage
bad attitude
CAPTCHA
> look CAPTCHA
It says: "saluto". Maybe it speaks Esperanto?
> north
It's dark. You may be eaten by a grue.
> south
You are in The Daily WTF Comment Forum. There are many comments lying here in disarray.
> say saluto
You gain: comment
> post comment



WIN. Especially the part with the Grue :)

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:56 • by Anonymous (unregistered)
Reply Quote
A geniune thanks for not putting the images in an AdBlocked folder. Just for that, I'm clicking on a bunch of your sponsors. Cheers.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:56 • by Lisa (unregistered)
Reply Quote
All I have to say is: plugh.

Also, xyzzx.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:57 • by DaveK
Reply Quote
OP:
Basically, you could get to one point in the game, unable to proceed because you don't have a certain item...

You went and ate the fricken' candy, didn't you?



OP:
...and you can't go back unless you have an old game save.
Yeh, but you also have to be dumb enough to think that eating a packet of chocolate-coated insects is a good idea.

I mean, come on! Does it SOUND like human food? Well DOES IT?

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 10:58 • by evert (unregistered)
241696 in reply to 241690
Reply Quote
Smack dennis?

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:02 • by DaveK
241698 in reply to 241696
Reply Quote
evert:
Smack dennis?
No thanks, I never touch the stuff. And stop calling me Dennis!

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:05 • by Anonymous (unregistered)
241699 in reply to 241698
Reply Quote
DaveK:
evert:
Smack dennis?
No thanks, I never touch the stuff. And stop calling me Dennis!
Wow, a comedian from the seventies!

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:06 • by anon (unregistered)
Reply Quote
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail94.html

Obvious exits are: NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:07 • by durendal.mk3
241701 in reply to 241685
Reply Quote
DaveK:

Scene from Zork II: TDWTF edition.


This wins so much.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:10 • by Crash Magnet (unregistered)
241702 in reply to 241694
Reply Quote
Lisa:
All I have to say is: plugh.

Also, xyzzx.


Itn't it wxyzzy?

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:14 • by medium geezer (unregistered)
241703 in reply to 241695
Reply Quote
I don't know about the chocolate, but fried crickets are delicious

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:30 • by Otto
Reply Quote
I remember that Compuserve used to cost a lost more than $12. Back in the early 80's, it was like $35 an hour or so. So two hours might have actually been the legit prize.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:34 • by Daniel (unregistered)
Reply Quote
Just a clarification for you youngsters. 56 K refers to the RAM requirements: 56 kilobytes of RAM (56 x 1024 bytes) to be shared between the game and the operating system, CP/M (which took between 6 and 8 KB).

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:39 • by mjfgates (unregistered)
Reply Quote
The only good thing about the "sadistic text adventure" genre is that it spawned Space Quest, which was just as sadistic as any of 'em but at least provided you with interesting graphical depictions of your various ends. We spent a week or so just finding all the cool ways to die in that game... oh, look, a hole! I'll go look at it and GET SUCKED IN, LISTEN TO THE CHEWING NOISES AND WATCH MY BONES SPIT BACK OUT ONTO THE GROUND! Good times, good times.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:42 • by the real wtf fool
241708 in reply to 241681
Reply Quote
Anon:
Ah, the joys of struggling with the parser it a text-based adventure game. The joy of not knowing if what you just tried didn't work because it's not the solution to the problem, or if you just didn't word it correctly.


Oh yes. And the 'advance' that was graphical adventures, where the main challenge involved sweeping your mouse over the whole screen waiting for the cursor to change when it passes over some tiny indecipherable part of the picture.

btw +24 to Xyzzy

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:43 • by ThePants999
Reply Quote
These comments are great. But, honestly, why do we keep having these What The Ad articles? What are they for? What do they have to do with TDWTF? Basically, WTF?

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:48 • by amischiefr
241710 in reply to 241705
Reply Quote
Daniel:
Just a clarification for you youngsters. 56 K refers to the RAM requirements: 56 kilobytes of RAM (56 x 1024 bytes) to be shared between the game and the operating system, CP/M (which took between 6 and 8 KB).

Thanks grandpa, because we're all too stupid to know what 56k means...

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 11:56 • by Stan (unregistered)
241712 in reply to 241688
Reply Quote
Andy Goth:
> THROW BABY


Kick the baby!!

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 12:03 • by lmao (unregistered)
241713 in reply to 241671
Reply Quote
BCE (Best Comment Evar!)

Looking for a laugh, change of thought pattern, whatever, I turned to WTF (of course).

And succeeded beyond any hope I could have had.

To those of us that played StarTrek on a DECWriter, or any other verbose typing game, the comment was so just right...

Captcha: causa
"causa" it's a real laugher -Thanks!

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 12:08 • by Shimon (unregistered)
Reply Quote
I happen to love What the Ad. It's a nice break from the brain damage inducing code. If you don't like it, you can easily just skip past it. It's not like Alex is hiding them in the middle of non-Ad posts.

Why do so many people feel that if they don't like something, no one else is allowed to like it either?

CompuServe

2009-01-30 12:18 • by AlpineR
241717 in reply to 241704
Reply Quote
Otto:
I remember that Compuserve used to cost a lost more than $12. Back in the early 80's, it was like $35 an hour or so. So two hours might have actually been the legit prize.

Two hours would not be a legit prize regardless of what the hourly rate was. You'd have to pay that rate for something like 8+ hours to win the prize, so winning two hours back would be an insult. I agree with others' observation that there seems to be a "hundred" whited out. On the other hand, I would love to have the CompuServe Adventure T-shirt.

Re: Ravers

2009-01-30 12:26 • by OldCoder (unregistered)
Reply Quote
I remember Nemesis, wasted far too many hours playing it back in (mumble). Ravers are nasty creatures from the Thomas Covenant books by Stephen Donaldson, not hippies from the seventies.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 12:27 • by rmz (unregistered)
Reply Quote
The "having to go back to a prior save because you forgot an item" is hardly unique to text adventures. Pretty much all of the classic Sierra graphic adventures (King's Quest, etc) did this, and that was a part of what made the games challenging. Too many adventure games in the modern age (well, what's left of them) are basically visual novels, with no way to die, no way to lose, and no way to ruin your game, forcing you to reload. I like The Longest Journey and all, but sometimes I wish that I could do something to actually mess up and force me to reload, rather than just have to go scouring the nearby areas for the item I need to click on.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 12:27 • by Jay (unregistered)
Reply Quote
You see a ferocious green dragon.

>attack dragon

You are unarmed. Are you sure you want to attack the dragon? [Yes, No]

>file not found

The dragon disappears into the recycling bin.

Re: What the Ad? - RPG Edition

2009-01-30 12:39 • by ThePants999
241721 in reply to 241715
Reply Quote
Shimon:
I happen to love What the Ad. It's a nice break from the brain damage inducing code. If you don't like it, you can easily just skip past it. It's not like Alex is hiding them in the middle of non-Ad posts.

Why do so many people feel that if they don't like something, no one else is allowed to like it either?

I'm not complaining because I'm forced to read it. I'm complaining because it appears instead of the actual WTF post I came here expecting. I wanted my brain damaged dammit!

I don't mind non-WTF posts being put on TDWTF, but they should be in categories of their own, and hence they should be over and above the daily feature article, not replacing it. What the Ad is clearly a different type of post to the feature articles. It's not The Daily WTF if there isn't a WTF daily!
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