Back in the day, when computer graphics ranged between non-existent and lousy and system specs called for RAM amounts usually less than 256k, and floppy disks were still...floppy, games that relied mostly upon the user's imagination provided the biggest bang for their software buck. Instead of the up, down, left, right, B, A, etc., it was all about typing in verbose commands like Look, Take, Get, Kill, and so on. However, where these games lacked in the graphics and gameplay perspective (at least from the modern perspective), there's one thing that they often got right - simulating the mindset of the jerkwad dungeon master.

First, consider the "classic" Zork II. I'm sure that I'll catch hell in the comments, but I absolutely hate this game. Now, I don't have a problem with the storyline or lack of graphics, no, I hate Zork II because it's the type of sadistic game that sets you up to fail.  Basically, you could get to one point in the game, unable to proceed because you don't have a certain item...and you can't go back unless you have an old game save. Activision got what they deserved for buying Infocom.

SkullDuggery for the win.

Well, from what I can tell, there's this Orb, and the idea of the game is to "quest" for it. Awesome! Eager to learn more about this gem, the best I could do was find an ancient comment on Slashdot confirming its existence.

Do you know how many RPGs are named Orbquest? A ton.


"Theus, a level twenty-Raver, finds himself cornered by two fierce Chimera during his exploration of level ten. With lighting quick dexterity he makes five mighty swings with his Vorpal Blade, slaying both attackers. He considers himself lucky - not only that he has survived, but he is able to remove the Chimeras' Mithril Cloak."

 IF I were a "level twenty Raver" I wouldn't be crawling around in any dungeon - I'd be partying ...all...night...long. 

Exactly how does a dragon go about putting on a necklace?

Ok, so if I reach "Grand Master" status in the CompuServe Adventure Tournament, and the big prize is 2 whole hours of free access? Isn't that like 12 bucks or something? How much time will I end up burning to get said status? Personally, I'd say "no thanks", but considering the popularity of modern MMORPG sites, I'd guess that this promotion was hot like lava at the time.

All I can think of is that the barbarian is looking at his little bitty trident knowing he's about to be Wyvern chow and the girl is just laying there NAGGING him about taking a wrong turn.

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