• Warren (unregistered)

    I think I might have used that software. It was so bad I switched to Windows Media Player. (Not iTunes, I'm not that stupid!)

  • Herwig (unregistered)

    Just. Be. Second...

  • N one (unregistered)

    What's sad is how many of these F$(;ing idiots there still are in top positions.

  • isee (unregistered)

    TRWTF is PHP. And Pearl.

  • (cs) in reply to isee
    isee:
    TRWTF is PHP. And Pearl.

    TRWTF is misspelling Perl.

    In any case, no matter what flaws both languages have (and they have a lot), they'd be a damn sight better than that much static HTML.

    Oh, yeah, and TRWTF is "versioning" files by keeping copies with .old in their names. Use a version control system. Always use a version control system.

  • (cs)

    Who else can drive Apple into obsolescence but a Steve Jobs clone?

  • opto (unregistered) in reply to 00Davo
    00Davo:
    isee:
    TRWTF is PHP. And Pearl.

    TRWTF is misspelling Perl.

    In any case, no matter what flaws both languages have (and they have a lot), they'd be a damn sight better than that much static HTML.

    TRRWTF is categorising PHP and Perl together.

  • Pista (unregistered)

    Aw, come on, why didn't you finish the story? I'm sure it had plenty more WTFs.

  • My Name (unregistered)

    The RRRWTF was the bosses of the music industry. When they saw the success of Napster, they did not send product managers or SW-developers, but only lawyers.

    Then they were SHOCKED, that iTunes and Amazon could sell digital music for a profit...

  • lol (unregistered)

    I was thinking it was Microsoft's Zune division with "Vernon" Ballmer... but then they said they used J2EE and I knew it couldn't be.. even Microsoft isn't that stupid.

  • nobulate (unregistered)

    The best way to kill iTunes is with Cancer, duh.

    On a more serious note, one of the better WTF articles I have read this year. Plus the ending leaves a hook for a sequel!

    CAPTCHA: acsi - a character encoding scheme based on the ordering of the English alphabet as accepted by the dyslexic association of the unites states of the earth.

  • (cs) in reply to N one
    N one:
    What's sad is how many of these F$(;ing idiots there still are in top positions.

    Their mirror neurons get replaced by lying/cheating/stealing/asshole neurons. This brute force of manipulative technique is how they bully and con their way up.

  • RFoxmich (unregistered) in reply to 00Davo
    00Davo:
    isee:
    TRWTF is PHP. And Pearl.

    TRWTF is misspelling Perl.

    In any case, no matter what flaws both languages have (and they have a lot), they'd be a damn sight better than that much static HTML.

    Oh, yeah, and TRWTF is "versioning" files by keeping copies with .old in their names. Use a version control system. Always use a version control system.

    No it's a music app remember? That's a Janis Joplin reference

  • (cs)

    So what was this product anyway, that managed to be worse than iTunes? iTunes on Windows and Quicktime Player are the reasons why I will never, ever, buy an Apple product for myself. (The wife and child are happy with their iPads.)

  • gnasher729 (unregistered) in reply to Severity One
    Severity One:
    So what was this product anyway, that managed to be worse than iTunes? iTunes on Windows and Quicktime Player are the reasons why I will never, ever, buy an Apple product for myself. (The wife and child are happy with their iPads.)
    Once you buy an Apple computer, you'll never have to use iTunes on Windows again.
  • Here's the Fuck, (unregistered)

    Is this one of those openended DIY WTFs, where you guys do all the initial story setup, but we have to imagine our own WTF as the punchline?

  • gnasher729 (unregistered) in reply to 00Davo
    00Davo:
    TRWTF is misspelling Perl.
    I wouldn't really care whether some manager can spell Perl correctly or not. What I would care about is if a manager makes implementation decisions when he isn't in the least qualified to do so.

    iTunes has I think about 20 million songs available. With one static, non-generated website per song, how many man years would that take? I think they started with just 200,000 songs. With this idiots method, Apple would have about a quarter of those 200,000 songs up and running today.

  • Walking by (unregistered)

    ... PHP ...

    “WHAT?”

    I agree. Where's the WTF?

  • JMO (unregistered)

    The beauty of these stories is that they are so ludicrous.

    A manager driving the choice of a gazillion static web pages is just nonsense.

    What possible reason could there be?

    I can only imagine questioning the guy, being screamed for being wrong, leaving and not going back.

  • Papa needs a new pair of shoes (unregistered)

    "I want YOUR ideas for how we can be better."

    My response to that would be: "First, by firing you, Mr. Vernon."

    No, I haven't hold any corporate job for very long, why do you ask?

  • Smug Unix User (unregistered)

    Build the site dynamically(Perl,PHP,Python) then use the rendered content as static html page so everyone is happy. Problem solved.

  • Peter (unregistered) in reply to N one
    N one:
    What's sad is how many of these F$(;ing idiots there still are in top positions.

    It's almost like some sort of prerequisite for the position...

  • usitas (unregistered) in reply to gnasher729
    gnasher729:
    What I would care about is if a manager makes implementation decisions when he isn't in the least qualified to do so.
    What else do you think managers are for?
  • qazwsx (unregistered)

    Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow, written by Erik Gern.

  • EvilSnack (unregistered)

    TDPHB.

    "A manager driving the choice of a gazillion static web pages" is well within the bounds of possibility and believability. PHBs get enamoured with bat-stuff crazy ideas all the time, and a manager who thinks a profane temper-tantrum in the presence of subordinates is acceptable behavior is going to ignore, fire, or drive away anyone who tries to restrain his madness.

  • MuTaTeD (unregistered)

    I think it was just after his stint as the director of the Grunnings in Surrey, England...

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Severity One
    Severity One:
    So what was this product anyway, that managed to be worse than iTunes?
    The one that immediately springs to mind is RealJukebox/RealPlayer. Although I never knew about any online music library, I'm sure if they had one it would have been an epic clusterfuck.
  • (cs) in reply to gnasher729
    gnasher729:
    Severity One:
    So what was this product anyway, that managed to be worse than iTunes? iTunes on Windows and Quicktime Player are the reasons why I will never, ever, buy an Apple product for myself. (The wife and child are happy with their iPads.)
    Once you buy an Apple computer, you'll never have to use iTunes on Windows again.
    Which is never going to happen, because iTunes and Quicktime Player for Windows (in addition to OS 9) have convinced me that the kind people in Cupertino deserve a lot more space on this web site than they currently occupy.
  • (cs)

    I created the "Buffering ..." for RealPlayer. They are still paying me royalties.

  • QJo (unregistered) in reply to Papa needs a new pair of shoes
    Papa needs a new pair of shoes:
    "I want YOUR ideas for how we can be better."

    My response to that would be: "First, by firing you, Mr. Vernon."

    No, I haven't hold any corporate job for very long, why do you ask?

    My response would be similar: to send a communication to the boss of whomever this "Vernon" is explaining his shortcomings as both a personnel and a technical manager. After all, Eric is employed for his expertise, and if he is not allowed to make use of it, then what's the point?

    He can always try eyeballing it out with Vernon, but that may take courage and a risk of personal harm -- but then one can content oneself with the knowledge that if one is actually physically harmed by violence in the corporate environment, then not only will be have grounds for getting Vernon fired, but also incarcerated.

  • (cs)

    “We’re having issues with hard-disk space.”

    Because of some static HTML pages? In the day and age of J2EE?

    The whole article is [BLEEP]ing unbelievable!

  • MrBester (unregistered) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    Papa needs a new pair of shoes:
    "I want YOUR ideas for how we can be better."

    My response to that would be: "First, by firing you, Mr. Vernon."

    No, I haven't hold any corporate job for very long, why do you ask?

    My response would be similar: to send a communication to the boss of whomever this "Vernon" is explaining his shortcomings as both a personnel and a technical manager.

    Also worth adding is that Vernon doesn't even know who the new hire is in a room of employees...

  • Anonymouse (unregistered) in reply to N one
    What's sad is how many of these F$(;ing idiots there still are in top positions.
    What's even sadder is that so many people are willing to work for such idiots.
  • ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL (unregistered)

    Those who don't understand the DRY principle are doomed to repeat themselves. Over and over. In a slightly different way each time.

    But hey, we must be getting work done, because it takes up so much disk space.

  • (cs) in reply to JMO
    JMO:
    The beauty of these stories is that they are so ludicrous.

    A manager driving the choice of a gazillion static web pages is just nonsense.

    What possible reason could there be?

    It's not nonsense. It's the everyday thing in corporate world, in the U.S. and elsewhere. Here's how it works: the board doesn't understand the product. The executives don't understand the product. The product managers don't understand the product, nor technology in general. That's all it takes. Take a large corporation, have 100 top-level people there have no clue, and you have exactly what was described, word for word. You live a sheltered and happy life if you can't see this happening.

    And you'd be very wrong if you thought this applies to technology sector only. Ireland's former nationally-owned hotel chain was exactly the same. Nobody at the helm had any clue about the hotel business. And I mean nobody.

  • JAPH (unregistered)

    Perl AND PHP? Please don't introduce more languages than necessary. Either one would work nicely, though it might be easier to get PHP programmers to maintain the project.

  • Dale (unregistered)

    Yes, the situation is insane. But look at the bigger picture: The company has plenty of money to "squander on an acquisition they didn’t need". From the executives' point of view, that's a fine place to put Vernon. He can only mess up something that will likely fail anyway. Even better, when it augers in, Vernon can be blamed for the failure and he can be pushed out.

  • (cs) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    I created the "Buffering ..." for RealPlayer. They are still paying me royalties.
    I'd have thought you'd still be waiting for the royalties to start actually paying out there…
  • PC Amok (unregistered) in reply to Severity One
    Severity One:
    So what was this product anyway, that managed to be worse than iTunes? iTunes on Windows and Quicktime Player are the reasons why I will never, ever, buy an Apple product for myself. (The wife and child are happy with their iPads.)

    It seems obvious to me that if someone were to puzzle it out then that SomeOne Needs Years to figure out who the electronics and entertainment giant is.

  • Alan (unregistered) in reply to Shoreline

    ...the really amazing thing is that there are enough people willing to put up with them that the company actually has a department centered around them.

    [image]
  • ih8u (unregistered) in reply to JAPH
    JAPH:
    Perl AND PHP? Please don't introduce more languages than necessary. Either one would work nicely, though it might be easier to get PHP programmers to maintain the project.

    To quote the article, "WHAT?"

    Either you haven't used them, or you're a masochist. PERL is readonly, and PHP, with it's PERL-esque syntax that is far less consistent, would be just slightly worse than their current setup.

    Why do you use PERL and PHP? Because you HAVE to. With their static file nonsense, you can use a good language to get that stuff cleaned up.

  • Anon (unregistered)
    Eric now found himself in the employ of an electronics and entertainment giant. Amongst their weaponry were a huge catalog of songs, a line of MP3 players, and ample cash reserves- more than enough to squander on an acquisition they didn’t need.

    So...Sony then?

  • (cs) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    He can always try eyeballing it out with Vernon, but that may take courage and a risk of personal harm -- but then one can content oneself with the knowledge that if one is actually physically harmed by violence in the corporate environment, then not only will be have grounds for getting Vernon fired, but also incarcerated.
    The other view of eyeballing out is that it gives me an opportunity to make use of my jujitsu(*) skills in a real situation.(**)

    (*) No, don't get at my spelling of this word. I know well that the proper spelling is 柔術.

    (**) When I was training in England, one of the things that we had to learn was the gentle art of "two man attack". This was described by one of the senior instructors as what happens when two men present the opportunity for you to attack them. (Of course, they think that they are attacking me, but since there's two of them and one of me, I outnumber them.) The essential rules of this discipline are (1) dispose of each one as quickly as possible, and (2) NEVER, EVER get in between them. There were no other rules.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to ih8u
    ih8u:
    PERL is readonly
    I think you mean writeonly.
  • Xaser (unregistered)

    Though it's fun to comment on the Hanzos and mock the slightly unfortunate quality of some articles, can we take the time to appreciate that Ellis is good at this? Because Ellis is good at this and he should do articles more often.

    [Disclaimer: I am not an Ellis parrot account. I think.]

    CAPTCHA: "tristique" -- a boutique catered exclusively to people named Tristan.

  • Charles F. (unregistered) in reply to isee
    isee:
    TRWTF is PHP. And Perl.
    If this story dates from 2001, PHP and Perl were leading web technologies.

    Despite my being a huge Java partisan, I considered J2EE a red flag because EJBs and JSP (and its evil twin JSF) were terrible, poorly-thought-out bloatware. Nowadays, there are nice lightweight Java frameworks for RAD web development, as well as options in half a dozen other non-PHP and non-Perl languages.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Xaser
    Xaser:
    Though it's fun to comment on the Hanzos and mock the slightly unfortunate quality of some articles, can we take the time to appreciate that Ellis is good at this? Because Ellis is good at this and he should do articles more often.

    [Disclaimer: I am not an Ellis parrot account. I think.]

    It says (unregistered) next to your name... you're not an account at all.

  • gnasher729 (unregistered) in reply to usitas
    usitas:
    gnasher729:
    What I would care about is if a manager makes implementation decisions when he isn't in the least qualified to do so.
    What else do you think managers are for?
    It's not actually what I have ever seen any manager doing. Usually because they are responsible to someone higher up to actually produce positive results, and that kind of behaviour doesn't produce positive results.
  • (cs) in reply to JAPH
    JAPH:
    Perl AND PHP? Please don't introduce more languages than necessary. Either one would work nicely, though it might be easier to get PHP programmers to maintain the project.

    Yeah, Perl programmers are actually in short supply these days. Want a job? Learn to code in Perl. More stuff being done every day in Perl, more new releases of Perl coming out, more interesting large frameworks being built on Perl. And, it's getting hard to find enough people (booking.com hires them 25 at a time).

  • Charles F. (unregistered) in reply to realmerlyn
    realmerlyn:
    more interesting large frameworks being built on Perl.
    Coder 1: What's Perl?

    Coder 2: It stands for Practical Extraction and Reporting Language. It's great for slicing up log files, extracting relevant data and outputing that data in a useful way.

    Coder 1: That sounds like the perfect language for an enterprise framework! Let's start hiring enterprise application developers to write in a language that's mostly useful to sysadmins!

    Coder 2: Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan!

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