The Intentional Slowdown

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  • Tukaro 2007-02-07 12:49
    In the following version, the laws of physics employed in their custom universe would further increase speed to process requests before they’re even submitted.
    I believe you mean "increase speed to cause the application to crash before you even wanted to use it".
  • dustin 2007-02-07 12:51
    This isn't a wtf.

    They were building an application that would work wonders in a universe that they were planning to create. In this universe building applications that follow standards is a bad thing. This universe of course would be called WTF-U

    Captcha: atari. In WTF-U atari is king of video games.
  • Nezzar 2007-02-07 13:04
    This company "N.L." worked for isn't by any chance based in germany, is it?
  • Sunstorm 2007-02-07 13:04
    Maybe in their universe, time goes backwards. That way, the slower you go, the quicker you get the results.
  • Michael Thompson 2007-02-07 13:15
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)
  • SmashAndGrab 2007-02-07 13:16
    And my day was going so well. I guess there has to be D^#%Head in every crowd. So,

    Who cares : Your Mom, Your Sister ....

    I know, childish. But I feel better.
  • Yo 2007-02-07 13:17
    Michael Thompson:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'
  • sammybaby 2007-02-07 13:19
    Just another .NET app, built on standard practices and reliable technologies.


    Ha! Hoo! Hee!

    Ah. Phew! Man. That's the best WTF I've seen in ever.

    (Sorry. I kid because I love, except when it's because I hate.)
  • mkb 2007-02-07 13:20
    was this GTech? A coworker at my last place worked there and worked on their re-designs of such protocols as TCP/IP and Ethernet.
  • SmashAndGrab 2007-02-07 13:32
    Yo:
    Michael Thompson:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


    I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

    What was I talking about?
  • Damo 2007-02-07 13:33
    Contractors were hired to build database-specific extensions and extended stored procedures in C++. Extended stored procedures allowed their team to have the convenience of linking DLLs with the database calls along with the simplicity and elegance of C++. What better way to intertwine the middle tier with the backend?


    Next they'll be putting the CLR into SQL Server!
  • Mike 2007-02-07 13:36
    Okay... does anyone besides me see the WTF that is their moving to .NET and SQL Server? They're moving from proprietary to, I guess, bigger proprietary. And since it's not theirs anymore, their business is now at the mercy of Microsoft, which has no vested interest in their survival.

    I'm not dissing choosing a MS solution; it just seems silly to use a solution that is extensively single-sourced.
  • Yo 2007-02-07 13:40
    SmashAndGrab:
    Yo:
    Michael Thompson:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


    I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

    What was I talking about?


    Apologize accepted.
  • MrBester 2007-02-07 13:47
    Mike:
    Okay... does anyone besides me see the WTF that is their moving to .NET and SQL Server? They're moving from proprietary to, I guess, bigger proprietary. And since it's not theirs anymore, their business is now at the mercy of Microsoft, which has no vested interest in their survival.

    I'm not dissing choosing a MS solution; it just seems silly to use a solution that is extensively single-sourced.

    So, perhaps using Oracle would be better? Or DB2? Hell, even MySQL has managed to get an enterprisey classification...
  • zlogic 2007-02-07 13:48
    Damo:

    Next they'll be putting the CLR into SQL Server!

    And after that they'll put real users into SQL Server, and they'll participate in command execution!
  • SomeCoder 2007-02-07 13:54
    Mike:
    Okay... does anyone besides me see the WTF that is their moving to .NET and SQL Server? They're moving from proprietary to, I guess, bigger proprietary. And since it's not theirs anymore, their business is now at the mercy of Microsoft, which has no vested interest in their survival.

    I'm not dissing choosing a MS solution; it just seems silly to use a solution that is extensively single-sourced.


    I would imagine a lot of people would disagree with you but I kind of agree.

    At least going to .NET/SQL Server ensures that their app will be built upon something that is more industry standard than a proprietary language. I'm not a big fan of having to use/learn languages that are ONLY useful while I work for the company. I'd much prefer using .NET because that's marketable elsewhere...

    However, the basis of your argument seems correct to me. Of course I work in a .NET shop and having worked here for a while, it's turned me against Microsoft... a LOT.
  • Marcelo 2007-02-07 13:58
    Or maybe in Campinas, Brazil?
  • THC 2007-02-07 14:02
    Dear Lord, why? "We build a system, and all our proprietory features sucked. Therefore, we need a new system with different proprietory features." The Saga continues.
  • UnFleshed One 2007-02-07 14:08
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    Yo:
    Michael Thompson:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


    I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

    What was I talking about?


    Apologize accepted.


    And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).
  • SchmidtBrickhouse 2007-02-07 14:12
    Nezzar:
    This company "N.L." worked for isn't by any chance based in germany, is it?


    Yes, it does seem like this company likes to make its own systems, applications, and products...
  • Christophe 2007-02-07 14:17
    The good news is that the application ran over twice as fast in the next version just by tweaking some sliders


    Do those sliders go all the way up to 11?

  • foo 2007-02-07 14:20

    Contractors were hired to build database-specific extensions and extended stored procedures in C++. Extended stored procedures allowed their team to have the convenience of linking DLLs with the database calls along with the simplicity and elegance of C++. What better way to intertwine the middle tier with the backend?


    Do you know what we used to have to use? Assembly and C that's what. So C++ is a giant leap forward you .NET script kiddie. Kids these days... yeesh.
  • ssprencel 2007-02-07 14:27
    foo:

    Contractors were hired to build database-specific extensions and extended stored procedures in C++. Extended stored procedures allowed their team to have the convenience of linking DLLs with the database calls along with the simplicity and elegance of C++. What better way to intertwine the middle tier with the backend?


    Do you know what we used to have to use? Assembly and C that's what. So C++ is a giant leap forward you .NET script kiddie. Kids these days... yeesh.


    ".NET script kiddie" Ooo man that's vicious. I like it.
  • Captcha 2007-02-07 14:32
    Mike:
    Okay... does anyone besides me see the WTF that is their moving to .NET and SQL Server? They're moving from proprietary to, I guess, bigger proprietary. And since it's not theirs anymore, their business is now at the mercy of Microsoft, which has no vested interest in their survival.

    I'm not dissing choosing a MS solution; it just seems silly to use a solution that is extensively single-sourced.


    I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....
  • roto 2007-02-07 14:39
    .NET is actually an open standard. That is why things like Mono can exist and you are not at the mercy of Microsoft.
  • mkb 2007-02-07 14:50
    Captcha:
    I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


    I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly
  • roto 2007-02-07 15:02
    mkb:
    Captcha:
    I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


    I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly


    So Linux with Java is not competition for .NET on Windows? When was the last time you actually got help from a support tech? I seriously don't know because I have never called one. If you can't figure something out (whether the docs are current/correct or not) it doesn't mean .NET is a poor choice for a framework. I think Microsoft is very concerned about competition from open source, and that is why they work to improve .NET all the time. Look at the improvements from .NET 1.1 to 2.0 and look at the work they are doing with Cw (C omega). Java also has great improvements over the last several versions. It looks like competition to me.
  • Oliver Townshend 2007-02-07 15:18
    There's a competing vertical accounting product I come across everyone now and then which uses its own database (well the old one does, the new one has Oracle). When we convert the client to a new system, not only does the client have to provide us with an explanation of the data, reports, balancing etc. they have to pay the vendor $AU20000 to extract the data (because its a proprietary product natch).
  • JimiH 2007-02-07 15:19
    mkb:
    Captcha:
    I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


    I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly


    Yeah, because no other software company has ever had a bug in their documentation. Microsoft is such bastards!

    In my 15-something years as a professional software developer using Microsoft tools, I've had to call Microsoft support exactly once, and they bent-over backwards to help me. Other "support" type problems I've always been able to figure it out on my own, Google the answer, or I've gotten answers from the numerous public forums out on the tubes.

    Need an immediate answer from Microsoft or a customer is going to sue? Sounds like the WTFs started long before Microsoft support got involved.

    Captcha: Kiss the sky
  • craaazy 2007-02-07 15:19
    roto:
    .NET is actually an open standard. That is why things like Mono can exist and you are not at the mercy of Microsoft.


    Only if you're a Novell customer or if you don't use ADO.NET, ASP.NET, or Windows.Forms

  • Joel 2007-02-07 15:26
    The application had its own scripting language; you know, kind of like VB

    Hmmm, sounds like Joel on Software's FogBugz: Wasabi

    captcha: Xevious
  • Ben 2007-02-07 15:37
    The first company I worked for had created a server-side scripting language for in-house use that was similar to ColdFusion/PHP/ASP/whatever, and had done it about a year and a half before ColdFusion came out. So that was pretty visionary, and props to them. However, they then proceeded to coast on that success by using the language for every new project they undertook, even as ColdFusion and PHP surpassed them in maturity and features and efficiency and... well, pretty much every way. Since this language was the company's crowning achievement, though, it was absolutely forbidden to think that it wasn't STILL the best thing since sliced bread, or that there was any reason to switch to anything else. Ironically, it was that success that ultimately drove them into the ground, a full year before the rest of the dot-com bubble broke.
  • James Schend 2007-02-07 15:41
    dustin:
    This isn't a wtf.

    They were building an application that would work wonders in a universe that they were planning to create. In this universe building applications that follow standards is a bad thing. This universe of course would be called WTF-U

    Captcha: atari. In WTF-U atari is king of video games.


    Hey, Atari makes some pretty damned good games. What's with the Atari diss out of nowhere?
  • Yo 2007-02-07 15:42
    UnFleshed One:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    Yo:
    Michael Thompson:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


    I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

    What was I talking about?


    Apologize accepted.


    And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).


    Oh Sorry I apology
  • roto 2007-02-07 15:56
    craaazy:
    roto:
    .NET is actually an open standard. That is why things like Mono can exist and you are not at the mercy of Microsoft.


    Only if you're a Novell customer or if you don't use ADO.NET, ASP.NET, or Windows.Forms



    I don't know what being a Novell customer has to do with it, it is open source. From http://mono-project.com: "Runs ASP.NET and Winforms applications."
  • themagni 2007-02-07 16:00
    mkb:
    Captcha:
    I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


    I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly


    You mean when someone calls to say rational things like:

    "Why is my site down? I get over a bazillion dollars in business a day and I expect 100% uptime from you, you lowest-priced host I could find. I'm going to sue you for that lost revenue and all the emotional distress. I've lost three houses during this conversation! Now my wife's left me! What's wrong with you?"
  • Hit 2007-02-07 16:13
    Amazingly, no one's mentioned that there is yet another iteration of

    DoEverythingConceivable(Object what, Object whatToDo)
  • SmashAndGrab 2007-02-07 16:20
    Honestly, I dont really care what environment I work in or what language I use. If the customer says they want it written in AWK, then I write in AWK. If they want me to update from an old version of VFP to a new version of VFP, then I do that. Anything. It really comes down to one thing, and that is money. If they want to pay to drive an old beat up bus with three tires and a broken left turn signal, rather than going for a newer model, then I give them what they want. I will express what I think they should do, but in the end, it is the customers' decision.

    When Goofy had the checkbook, you wear Goofy clothes.

    C
  • John Doe 2007-02-07 16:35
    Yo:
    UnFleshed One:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    Yo:
    Michael Thompson:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


    I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

    What was I talking about?


    Apologize accepted.


    And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).


    Oh Sorry I apology


    This comment will probably make it to the main page if it continues for much longer...
  • Rich 2007-02-07 16:47
    I once wrote an extended stored procedure that basically called Sleep(). I can't remember what for now but I think it had something to do with waiting for some kind of bank processing to go through.
  • MasterPlanSoftware 2007-02-07 16:58
    John Doe:
    Yo:
    UnFleshed One:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    Yo:
    Michael Thompson:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


    I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

    What was I talking about?


    Apologize accepted.


    And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).


    Oh Sorry I apology


    This comment will probably make it to the main page if it continues for much longer...


    Whoa. I am getting dizzy.... I need to sit down.
  • MasterPlanSoftware 2007-02-07 17:06
    mkb:
    Captcha:
    I didn't think anyone could beat this WTF, then I read this comment....


    I've been stuck in situations where Microsoft's documentation is wrong, their support won't cooperate, and I need an answer to stave off the customer on the phone who's trying to sue. Microsoft has no competition and they know it and act accordingly


    Judging by your attitude and the kind of unfounded opinion you are spouting here, you are exactly the kind of guy I wouldn't give much help to over the phone either. This reeks of all the people who submit 'bug reports' ("I found a bug!" to every forum) about anything and everything in Vista and then LOLOL and say M$ sucks!

    Grow up... no one is 'out to get you'. Do some more research about .NET philosophy and the mono project, and then maybe you can find some grounds for an argument. In the meantime, your comments about .NET being proprietary are simply ridiculous...

    I am not all that surprised your customers call in ready to sue for an answer... Especially when you undoubtedly start blaming Microsoft for all of your problems....
  • SmashAndGrab 2007-02-07 17:07
    MasterPlanSoftware:
    John Doe:
    Yo:
    UnFleshed One:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    Yo:
    Michael Thompson:
    Yo:
    SmashAndGrab:
    And I am apalled.


    and who cares?


    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)


    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'


    I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

    What was I talking about?


    Apologize accepted.


    And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).


    Oh Sorry I apology


    This comment will probably make it to the main page if it continues for much longer...


    Whoa. I am getting dizzy.... I need to sit down.


    I wonder if there is a limit on quotes in this? Alex?
  • Zylon 2007-02-07 17:23
    This thread is an excellent demonstration of why useful features will always be abused by morons.
  • Duston 2007-02-07 17:26
    Didn't Borland put delay loops in some of their software back in the 80's? And when they took them out, they crowed about their performance improvements? Or maybe I'm just showing my age...in more way than one.
  • facetious 2007-02-07 17:34
    [quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="madeup"][quote user="SmashAndGrab"][quote user="MasterPlanSoftware"][quote user="John Doe"][quote user="Yo"][quote user="UnFleshed One"][quote user="Yo"][quote user="SmashAndGrab"][quote user="Yo"][quote user="Michael Thompson"][quote user="Yo"][quote user="SmashAndGrab"]And I am apalled.[/quote]

    and who cares?[/quote]

    I believe he/she was talking about the WTF posted above, not your comment. You know, article-related comments in the comments section of the article.

    Captcha: smile. Excellent. :)[/quote]

    Ah Ok, and by the way it's appalled with double 'p'[/quote]

    I apologize. Adult ADD. It is such a waste of a

    What was I talking about?[/quote]

    Apologize accepted.[/quote]

    And by the way, it is "apology accepted" :).[/quote]

    Oh Sorry I apology[/quote]

    This comment will probably make it to the main page if it continues for much longer...[/quote]

    Whoa. I am getting dizzy.... I need to sit down.[/quote]

    I wonder if there is a limit on quotes in this? Alex?[/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote]

    Good question. Better answer?

    CAPTCHA: darwin ... even BETTER answer???
  • bullseye 2007-02-07 17:34
    JimiH:
    In my 15-something years as a professional software developer using Microsoft tools, I've had to call Microsoft support exactly once, and they bent-over backwards to help me.


    I had a similar experience. We were developing a Windows Service that had some very odd behavior that was out of reach of the debugger. They sent us a special set of debugging .dlls for XP, and once the application "failed", they took the debugging information, analyzed it for us, and then proceeded to help us target the problem. I had a steady stream of conversation going with the same guy for over a week. Most vendors would have passed the buck in a day or so and said it was something wrong we were doing.

    Of course, those that are trashing Microsoft's support have never actually called it, so I am just preaching to the choir.
  • Bill 2007-02-07 17:44
    bullseye:
    JimiH:
    In my 15-something years as a professional software developer using Microsoft tools, I've had to call Microsoft support exactly once, and they bent-over backwards to help me.


    I had a similar experience. We were developing a Windows Service that had some very odd behavior that was out of reach of the debugger. They sent us a special set of debugging .dlls for XP, and once the application "failed", they took the debugging information, analyzed it for us, and then proceeded to help us target the problem. I had a steady stream of conversation going with the same guy for over a week. Most vendors would have passed the buck in a day or so and said it was something wrong we were doing.

    Of course, those that are trashing Microsoft's support have never actually called it, so I am just preaching to the choir.


    They're probably relating their experience with the end-user OS support (which is AWFUL). I have also found the developer support to be pretty good.
  • phx 2007-02-07 18:08
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.
  • phx 2007-02-07 18:09
    Clicked the wrong button again. This was directed at this comment:

    SmashAndGrab:
    Honestly, I dont really care what environment I work in or what language I use. If the customer says they want it written in AWK, then I write in AWK. If they want me to update from an old version of VFP to a new version of VFP, then I do that. Anything. It really comes down to one thing, and that is money. If they want to pay to drive an old beat up bus with three tires and a broken left turn signal, rather than going for a newer model, then I give them what they want. I will express what I think they should do, but in the end, it is the customers' decision.

    When Goofy had the checkbook, you wear Goofy clothes.

    C

  • Aaron 2007-02-07 18:13
    It's always a bad sign whenever you see a function with "what" as a parameter.

    But the Real WTF™ is the tiny army of slashdotters on this site. Please, just go away.
  • Been there, done that 2007-02-07 18:54
    I've heard about a system admin who allocated 1 CPU with 4 VIRTUAL CPU's on it for programmers to develop their stuff on so they were forced to write more efficient code.

    They still think they are running on 4 separate CPU's...
  • mnature 2007-02-07 18:54
    Zylon:
    This thread is an excellent demonstration of why useful features will always be abused by morons.


    I think you just insulted the morons . . .
  • Steve 2007-02-07 20:29
    Oliver Townshend:
    There's a competing vertical accounting product I come across everyone now and then which uses its own database (well the old one does, the new one has Oracle). When we convert the client to a new system, not only does the client have to provide us with an explanation of the data, reports, balancing etc. they have to pay the vendor $AU20000 to extract the data (because its a proprietary product natch).


    Sounds a lot like switch from "Great Plains Real World" to "Microsoft 'Dynamics' Great Plains 9"... It makes me cry.

    CAPTCHA: wigwam - I used to make tepees with chairs and blankets.
  • chrismcb 2007-02-07 20:30
    The beginnings of this WTF reminds me of a small start I joined a couple of years ago.
    They were already about 6 months in developement, but one of the other developers no longer had free time. (It was early in the startup phase)

    I was asked to step in and work on some of the front end code (all in javescript)

    They and done some research and decided that SQL was too slow, and so they created their own database. This essentially amounted to a collection of text files. While I think a highly specialized proprietary database can be faster than SQL, this one wasn't specialized. And with a dozen or so text files per day, per user (with potentialy thousands of users) the NTFS would be swamped!

    When I took over the data came over from the server in the form of a matrix (delimited with # signs, because he figured that would be less likely to be used than commas. Never mind that it is impossible for commas to exist in our data, and yes #'s could exist) So all sorting was done on the client. Not long after I joined it was discovered that we couldn't send 20K records over to the client, and expect it to sort them in a usefull timeframe. So the other developer started adding things like sorting into his backend database.

    I figured I could have rewritten everything to use SQL in less time than it took him to add Sort to the database.

    Needless to say, the whole shebang collapsed a few months later.
  • janke 2007-02-07 21:14
    Been there, done that:
    I've heard about a system admin who allocated 1 CPU with 4 VIRTUAL CPU's on it for programmers to develop their stuff on so they were forced to write more efficient code.

    They still think they are running on 4 separate CPU's...


    That's my kind of sysadmin! If you tell them how much hardware you have, they'll burn it up.
  • Look at me! I'm on the internets! 2007-02-07 21:37
    Hit:
    Amazingly, no one's mentioned that there is yet another iteration of

    DoEverythingConceivable(Object what, Object whatToDo)


    That's not a WTF, that's good use of the Command design pattern. GoF be praised!

    Captcha:RIAA
    Everybody panic!
  • SmashAndGrab 2007-02-07 22:13
    phx:
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.


    Oh please. I havent been doing this for so long just to get called out by a granola eating, sandal wearing unix freak. The only paradigm worth following in programming is that of money. That is the only reason the vast majority of programmers got into it for. Well, that and all of the hot chicks......
  • ItsMe 2007-02-07 22:16
    Adding delays into processes like this are not always a bad idea - in fact, its been used in on-line banking systems for years! Its called setting expectations.

    Take a scenario... users have always received responses from systems in, say, 1 second under 'normal' load. What happens, then, when load becomes heavy? The users start to moan that its slow, and the obnoxious of them ring to complain that its taking 2 seconds...

    How do you reduce the calls to the support lines? Make all faster responses wait, and come back in 2 seconds. Immediately, the normalised expectation is 2 seconds - and when the systems are busy, its still 2 seconds. Do the users care? heck no. Its always been like that...
  • jokeyxero 2007-02-07 22:31
    Been there, done that:
    I've heard about a system admin who allocated 1 CPU with 4 VIRTUAL CPU's on it for programmers to develop their stuff on so they were forced to write more efficient code.

    They still think they are running on 4 separate CPU's...


    I love it.

    To everyone else, someone call the whaaaaaaambulance. Get over yourselves already. MS/*nix/Apple/etc is not evil, they want money, fame, and cool toys just like everyone else. Just use the best tool for the job.
  • cklam 2007-02-07 23:46
    James Schend:
    dustin:
    This isn't a wtf.

    They were building an application that would work wonders in a universe that they were planning to create. In this universe building applications that follow standards is a bad thing. This universe of course would be called WTF-U

    Captcha: atari. In WTF-U atari is king of video games.


    Hey, Atari makes some pretty damned good games. What's with the Atari diss out of nowhere?


    Atari forever.
  • mOdQuArK! 2007-02-08 01:15
    Don't you even try to suggest alternative solutions if they seem appropriate?
  • B34r 2007-02-08 03:51
    SmashAndGrab:
    phx:
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.


    Oh please. I havent been doing this for so long just to get called out by a granola eating, sandal wearing unix freak. The only paradigm worth following in programming is that of money. That is the only reason the vast majority of programmers got into it for. Well, that and all of the hot chicks......


    See now, here's the problem with allowing unregistered users to post comments. Is this the same SmashAndGrab that was trolling at the start of the comments?

    Thinking of which, does this person even speak English at home? Probably not, they seem to have difficulty finding the subject and object of a sentence.

    Do they understand that not everything said is a personal attack directed against them? Maybe, but they’re too shallow to see life that way.

    Perhaps this individual just lacks social skills and basic, common decency. So instead of being civil they’re trying to be smart by harassing the non Microsoft users here.

    WTF?
  • Wulf 2007-02-08 04:27
    SmashAndGrab:
    phx:
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.


    Oh please. I havent been doing this for so long just to get called out by a granola eating, sandal wearing unix freak. The only paradigm worth following in programming is that of money. That is the only reason the vast majority of programmers got into it for. Well, that and all of the hot chicks......


    I got into programming because it is something I enjoy. I went to school to get a degree as the dotcom bubble burst and everyone left the field because the money went elsewhere.
    I love the creative and powerful side of programming. I would do it for food and somewhere to live, and still be happy.
  • Peter Antoine 2007-02-08 05:14
    phx:

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.


    I bloody would! Now that sounds like a challenge.

    That's why I got into computers because of the challenge. I want to do things that nobody else has/can do. I want to push myself. I want to write code that stands up and I can be proud of. Not just glueing together other peoples libraries. ich!

    Now, how do I find somebody stupid, sorry I mean visionary enough to fund me....
  • vr602 2007-02-08 05:25
    I have often built delays into my applications. It is all about users' expectations. In one case, we found in UAT that the users simply didn't believe that the updates had taken place as it was going too fast, so they would hit the 'Update' button over and over. When we built in a 3-second delay with an hourglass, they were now happy that the machine was doing something.
    In another ( client-server ) app, we had some windows that were very fast to load, and others that were slower. The users found this disconcerting, and winged about the disparity, so we put delays on the fast ones, and worked hard to tune the slow ones. When we deployed version 2, with the slow windows tuned up and the delays taken out of the fast ones, they were soooo impressed!
  • anonymous 2007-02-08 06:00
    Peter Antoine:
    phx:

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.


    I bloody would! Now that sounds like a challenge.

    That's why I got into computers because of the challenge. I want to do things that nobody else has/can do. I want to push myself. I want to write code that stands up and I can be proud of. Not just glueing together other peoples libraries. ich!

    Now, how do I find somebody stupid, sorry I mean visionary enough to fund me....


    Often people with bad ideas will not pay, because will end bankrupt.
  • chriseyre2000 2007-02-08 06:55
    It is also worth putting big delays (and obvious bugs) into prototypes.

    Sometimes management see the prototype and want to go live with it despite develper concerns.
  • Shaper 2007-02-08 08:07
    roto:
    craaazy:
    roto:
    .NET is actually an open standard. That is why things like Mono can exist and you are not at the mercy of Microsoft.
    Only if you're a Novell customer or if you don't use ADO.NET, ASP.NET, or Windows.Forms
    I don't know what being a Novell customer has to do with it, it is open source. From http://mono-project.com: "Runs ASP.NET and Winforms applications."

    Indeed. But ASP.NET, ADO and WinForms aren't covered under the ECMA/ISO standards precisely because Microsoft holds patents over them that it flatly refuses to release (or at least pledge not to use).

    In other words, even if the specs are released there's no guarantee MS's lawyers won't come knocking on your door at any point in the future, entirely at their discretion.

    Welcome to the wonderful world of software patents, where just having a good idea isn't enough - now you've got to have a good idea, a prayer no-one's already patented it and a spare army of lawyers to defend against accusations of patent infringement.

    Mmmmm... progress.
  • snoofle 2007-02-08 08:46
    chriseyre2000:
    It is also worth putting big delays (and obvious bugs) into prototypes.

    Sometimes management see the prototype and want to go live with it despite develper concerns.


    When are people going to learn?

    You never, and I mean NEVER build a functional prototype; either stub out the GUI so it looks semi-nice and does absolutely nothing except pop dialogs saying "xxx will happen here once we build it', or create a crude console application that simply prints "xxx will happen here once we build it". This way, your quickly-thrown-together prototype can't possibly be deployed - because it doesn't DO anything!
  • JD 2007-02-08 09:09
    snoofle:

    When are people going to learn?

    You never, and I mean NEVER build a functional prototype; either stub out the GUI so it looks semi-nice and does absolutely nothing except pop dialogs saying "xxx will happen here once we build it', or create a crude console application that simply prints "xxx will happen here once we build it". This way, your quickly-thrown-together prototype can't possibly be deployed - because it doesn't DO anything!
    Sometimes you have users that refuse to test your app unless they can use data that they are comfortable with (i.e. you have to make an app functional enough to enter data). And Many times you have managers that simply cannot (or will not) understand how something will work unless you show them exactly (they simply have no vision, and can only tell you when the app doesn't do what they want). It sad, but oftimes you must develop functional prototypes in order to get the feedback you need and buy-in from management.
  • Anonymous 2007-02-08 16:59
    phx:
    Grow a spine, for God's sake. And some balls, while you're at it.

    Even if you got more disposable income than Bill Gates, I wouldn't take your offer to write a C#-compiler in Brainfuck. You needed to take my daughter hostage and even then I'd consider for at least a minute if I should show you the finger.

    Jeezes, what has the world come down to? Programming with punchcards if the price is right, pfft. Go watch Office Space one more time please.


    ROFLMAO!!

    Some people haven't figured it out yet. For those people: You CAN fire your customers, you know. You can choose to do business with a customer or not. If you feel you MUST service every request you get, if you feel you HAVE to go "where the money is", then you are a slave (to money) and need to grow a spine.

    Now, on the other hand, if you LIKE programming in punch cards or the like and the $$ is worth it to you, fine - do it.
  • Toft 2007-02-08 19:08
    I've had some good laughs at the comments section but this actually made me fall out of my chair :)

    (I wouldn't find it strange at all if Borland did these kinds of things in the 90's anyway)
  • Toft 2007-02-08 19:22
    ...And I was trying to quote
    Didn't Borland put delay loops in some of their software back in the 80's? And when they took them out, they crowed about their performance improvements? Or maybe I'm just showing my age...in more way than one.
  • WIldpeaks 2007-02-08 22:10
    Nezzar:
    This company "N.L." worked for isn't by any chance based in germany, is it?

    Haha, that was exactly my wonder as well :-p
  • Codey 2007-02-08 22:10
    "The application was maintenance hell – not just because of confusing, undocumented code, but because finding, training, and keeping staff on was near impossible. The company decided that the application would be ported to .NET and SQL Server."

    ...ahhh so to get rid of problems in finding, training, and keeping staff they chose to run on confusing, undocumented code? Nice choice...
  • Codey 2007-02-08 22:16
    "The application was maintenance hell – not just because of confusing, undocumented code, but because finding, training, and keeping staff on was near impossible. The company decided that the application would be ported to .NET and SQL Server."

    ...ahhh so to reduce their difficulty in finding, training, and keeping staff they chose to run their application on proprietary, confusing, ondocumented code..only this time it's not theirs?
  • Codey 2007-02-08 22:18
    Hmmm...you guys might want to check your validation...I didn't enter squat for the "CAPTCHA test" but was still allowed to post...my assumption that the first would fail resulted in the second post below.
  • binky 2007-02-09 16:02
    roto:
    So Linux with Java is not competition for .NET on Windows?


    That is correct.

    I've worked at a place that had their own proprietary language before and I pray that I never go back. Just the advantage of being able to Google for answers on a standard language is a huge for a developer.
  • Bilbo Baggins 2007-02-12 08:32
    I'm working on a project now where the vendor produced their own version of Open LDAP and Java.

    Every patch we get has weird bugs, and the standard interface tools to LDAP do not work with their (proprietary) system.

    Looking at the code, we've determined they actually copied most of the libraries from the originals, and tweaked them to make them 'proprietary'.

    Of course, they are charging us an arm and a leg for this cruft -- for an ostensibly 'open' architecture system that we designed so we could easily change software and venders on. Now we are locked in while they hold our customer data hostage...

    Captcha: doom - what I feel every day at work.
  • jell0r 2007-02-12 14:11
    In the following version, the laws of physics employed in their custom universe would further increase speed to process requests before they’re even submitted.

    Actually, there is some serieus scientific research on this topic. It is called Time Travel Computing, which uses Closed Timelike Curves (CTC's) in a quantum computer.
    I don't know the details, but I believe that the idea is that with the use of quantum effects a quantum gate can be made that uses a part of the result of a function as input to compute that result. One of the first publications on this subject is made by D. Deutsch, in 1991: "Quantum mechanics near closed timelike lines." (Phys. Rev. D, 44:3197-3217).
    An interesting paper to read on this and other exotic computation models is "NP Complete Problems and Physical Reality" (S. Aaronson, 2005).
  • sol 2007-02-16 18:47
    SmashAndGrab:
    Honestly, I dont really care what environment I work in or what language I use. If the customer says they want it written in AWK, then I write in AWK. If they want me to update from an old version of VFP to a new version of VFP, then I do that. Anything. It really comes down to one thing, and that is money. If they want to pay to drive an old beat up bus with three tires and a broken left turn signal, rather than going for a newer model, then I give them what they want. I will express what I think they should do, but in the end, it is the customers' decision.

    When Goofy had the checkbook, you wear Goofy clothes.

    C


    integrity mean anything to you? maybe sense of doing a good job? or maybe if you do a good job you get a second job? wait no you're the what the hell I got paid guy... got it