Unstructions: The Factory Reset, Irrational Installation, and Installs the Manual

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  • trtrwtf 2011-06-30 12:05
    As a technical writer, I apologize, and I assure you that I will be hunting down the parties responsible and dealing with them personally.
  • jrh 2011-06-30 12:05
    Oh my, those hard drive install instruction are a work of art.
  • Firstouss 2011-06-30 12:05
    FRIST! Paula Brilliant that magnet trick.
  • Lockwood 2011-06-30 12:06
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.
  • Michael Burge 2011-06-30 12:09
    I don't see the issue with the second one. "See our article on installing Microsoft Office with the Microsoft Office installer" doesn't cause any alarm bells, so neither should saying "Installation Manager installer". They even capitalized their product name to make it clear how to parse it.
  • SonicLover 2011-06-30 12:09
    Sounds like whoever wrote that silent install sentence needs to retake CPSC 432.
  • PythonM 2011-06-30 12:12
    The producers wish it to be known that those responsible for the fault in the hard dish manual have just been sacked.



    N0, Really! A m00se bit my sister 0nce!
  • alegr 2011-06-30 12:14
    Yo dog, I herd you like installers, so I made an installer for your installation manager installer.
  • frits 2011-06-30 12:18
    I like how they use a Euro coin, as if that's been around long enough to be a valid point of reference. Also, what if I'm not in Europe?
  • Childish 2011-06-30 12:19
    The Factory Reset magnet trick takes me back to my first home computer, a Mac Plus.

    Circa 1985, I got the Macintosh and Lisa Assembly Language programming kit. It had some 3.5" disks, a book, & a small plastic switch.

    It turns out that the plastic switch was the reset button. Find the air slot on the side of the Mac Plus, & snap it in. Since Macintosh was user friendly, they didn't want regular people to have a reset switch.
  • In before the obvious 2011-06-30 12:21
    For more information, please comment on Commenting TDWTF Articles using the TDWTF Article commenter.
  • Just Me 2011-06-30 12:22
    Maybe I'm just too geeky but I liked the factory reset procedure for the Xcaster. Factory reset is not an usual procedure and can cause a lot of trouble if done inadvertently. Using a magnet there is no need for a small hole (as is common in a lot of products).
  • PedanticCurmudgeon 2011-06-30 12:22
    Whoever designed the camera reset function has been visiting trollscience.com much too often.
  • Anonymous Cow-Herd 2011-06-30 12:22
    frits:
    I like how they use a Euro coin, as if that's been around long enough to be a valid point of reference. Also, what if I'm not in Europe?

    Then you're missing out on some hot Euro action. Sucks to be you. I like two-tone coins, two-tone coins are cool.
  • Carlos 2011-06-30 12:22
    But the question is : how do magnets work?
  • Jack 2011-06-30 12:25
    That's not Engrish.

    That's not even bad Engrish.

    That is an alien intelligence attempting to make contact with the human race. See, it isn't as easy as we thought, establishing a meaningful understanding from which to start decoding each other's languages...
  • Sam 2011-06-30 12:26
    Hah, I received that very same manual many years ago with a cheap case I picked up on eBay. A work of art indeed, which I had completely forgotten until now.
  • Quining 2011-06-30 12:26
    I'm guessing 'slipper' is a mistranslation of "Sled" or "Slide"?
  • adam 2011-06-30 12:27
    That has got to be the worst translation of of an instruction manual I've ever seen.
  • bjeeb 2011-06-30 12:27
    Poring, for the love of god, poring! #correction
  • Shaggy 2 Dope 2011-06-30 12:28
    Carlos:
    But the question is : how do magnets work?

    If you find out, please don't tell me. I'd rather not know.
  • bertram 2011-06-30 12:29
    Obligatory "in Soviet Russia, manual installs you" type quip.
  • silent d 2011-06-30 12:31
    Well don't leave us in suspense -- will right slippery contain word sign of on carrying the facing the HDD data line is on carrying?


  • piskvorr 2011-06-30 12:34
    Well, what exactly *is* the problem with the magnet trick? Makes it much easier to hide from those pesky C-level monkeys with propensity to twiddle anything until it breaks ("I didn't change anything. Well, I did press the Big Red Button; but I mean, what is the button for, if not for pressing?").
  • Bagel 2011-06-30 12:35
    I agree. I think a reed switch is a slick solution, rather than having to blindly stab a paper clip through a small hole in the case, hopefully hitting a switch that doesn't have enough of a click to let me know I hit anything at all. And then probably hold the switch for at least 15 seconds before seeing any indication that I've done anything.
  • Fred 2011-06-30 12:37
    Because everything you buy for your computer has to have a CD so you can install something, I once got a Dell monitor with a CD.

    WTF?

    The "installer" basically copies a PDF of the manual to your hard disk.

    Of course, it only runs on Windows.

    I guess they figured if you're smart enough to have anything else, you're smart enough to figure out how to open a PDF from a CD. Or copy it yourself. Or just plug in the damn cable and forget about TFM.
  • Jay 2011-06-30 12:44
    bjeeb:
    Poring, for the love of god, poring! #correction


    Oh, I thought he was pouring gravy onto his hard dish.
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 12:59
    alegr:
    Yo dog, I herd you like installers, so I made an installer for your installation manager installer.

    No, no. no... It's:

    Yo dog, I herd you like managing your installations, so I made an installation manager installer so you can install your installation manager while you manage your installations.
  • airdrik 2011-06-30 13:07
    So I was installation manager the install of hard dish when slippery the managing word sign carrying. Error'd the managing install so single press down on installation but didn't working. Can someone help please?
  • zunesis 2011-06-30 13:08
    C-Octothorpe:
    alegr:
    Yo dog, I herd you like installers, so I made an installer for your installation manager installer.

    No, no. no... It's:

    Yo dog, I herd you like managing your installations, so I made an installation manager installer so you can install your installation manager while you manage your installations.


    Hey, nice work! You're so much smarter than that guy, being able to cite memes and all. Thank God for you, C-Octothorpe. The contributions you add to the comments are just so important.
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 13:09
    zunesis:
    C-Octothorpe:
    alegr:
    Yo dog, I herd you like installers, so I made an installer for your installation manager installer.

    No, no. no... It's:

    Yo dog, I herd you like managing your installations, so I made an installation manager installer so you can install your installation manager while you manage your installations.


    Hey, nice work! You're so much smarter than that guy, being able to cite memes and all. Thank God for you, C-Octothorpe. The contributions you add to the comments are just so important.


    Glad I can help.
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 13:11
    Obviously the comments were written by a neural network.
  • FlyboyFred 2011-06-30 13:11
    Jack:
    That's not Engrish.

    That's not even bad Engrish.

    That is an alien intelligence attempting to make contact with the human race. See, it isn't as easy as we thought, establishing a meaningful understanding from which to start decoding each other's languages...


    Exactly, except for the intelligence part.
  • Hortical 2011-06-30 13:13
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:

    C-Octothorpe:
  • Meep 2011-06-30 13:14
    Childish:
    It turns out that the plastic switch was the reset button. Find the air slot on the side of the Mac Plus, & snap it in. Since Macintosh was user friendly, they didn't want regular people to have a reset switch.


    Regular people don't want a reset switch, they want their computer to not crash.

    Before System 6 introduced multitasking, Macs were incredibly stable. If you had a reset switch, all you gained was the possibility of accidentally pressing it and losing all your work.
  • Meep 2011-06-30 13:16
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:

    C-Octothorpe:


    You sound like my ex.
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 13:17
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:

    C-Octothorpe:


    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
  • Joe 2011-06-30 13:19
    Meep:

    Before System 6 introduced multitasking, Macs were incredibly stable.


    Yeah, and before v1.0 introduced "booting", so was MSDOS.

    --Joe
  • anon 2011-06-30 13:20
    Fred:
    Because everything you buy for your computer has to have a CD so you can install something, I once got a Dell monitor with a CD.

    WTF?

    The "installer" basically copies a PDF of the manual to your hard disk.

    Of course, it only runs on Windows.

    I guess they figured if you're smart enough to have anything else, you're smart enough to figure out how to open a PDF from a CD. Or copy it yourself. Or just plug in the damn cable and forget about TFM.


    Just about every monitor comes with a disc, usually containing the manuals and the driver. Yes, every monitor has a driver, which tells the machine what capabilities (resolution, refresh rate) it has. Now tons of monitor drivers are included with OSes by default, and the generic driver will work pretty well for just about every monitor, but there are a lot of scenarios where the driver can be necessary or at least useful
  • Hortical 2011-06-30 13:20
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:

    C-Octothorpe:


    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you take the time to tell everyone about it...


    Then why are you responding? You wouldn't feel motivated to respond unless I was getting to you.

    For instance, when you respond to this post, it will be with an explanation of how I'm not getting to you, but you feel the need to post it because the idea that I'm getting to you bothers you enough that you feel the need to post!

    Don't be so predictable.
  • Aaron 2011-06-30 13:21
    The whole Rational tool set was designed and written by a sadist with a deep, personal hatred of developers. That's the only possible explanation for it.

    The fact that it actually does some awesome stuff when it deigns to work just makes it more evil.
  • Meep 2011-06-30 13:23
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:

    C-Octothorpe:


    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...


    And then you take the time to reply to him...
  • Meep 2011-06-30 13:27
    Joe:
    Meep:

    Before System 6 introduced multitasking, Macs were incredibly stable.


    Yeah, and before v1.0 introduced "booting", so was MSDOS.

    --Joe


    DOS was stable if you didn't have too many TSRs running, and didn't use weird hardware. It was still a PITA to configure, though, considering how many times you'd have to reboot to test your damned config scripts and how lame COMMAND.COM was as a shell language.
  • RogerC 2011-06-30 13:43
    adam:
    That has got to be the worst translation of of an instruction manual I've ever seen.

    Then you were not reading TDWTF when this was posted.
  • honnza 2011-06-30 13:46
    As far as I know, this information is negotiated between the display unit and the graphics chip via (in case of VGA) a pair of pins (12&15) running the I2C protocol.

    Captcha: Incassum - in vain (latin)

    In cassum cadunt omnia tua promissa.
    All your promises are in vain.

  • CoderHero 2011-06-30 13:48
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.
  • Doug 2011-06-30 13:57
    If you've never had to install IBM Rational ClearCase, consider yourself lucky. On the pain scale, it sits right between taking your bottom lip and stretching it over your head to the back of your neck, and actually using Rational ClearCase.


    So ... it's less painful than childbirth?

    (see also: "Bill Cosby: Himself")
  • untalented_newbie 2011-06-30 13:59
    Am I the only one who thought instruction #5 should have been 'Be attitude for gains', or that the heading for the manual's 'Troubleshooting' section should be 'You fail it, your skill is not enough'?
  • Hortical 2011-06-30 14:02
    CoderHero:
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.


    Oh, you said *disks*... Sorry, my mind was wandering. :P
  • Anon 2011-06-30 14:18
    It is factory reset. I don't see how this is much worse than for example, including a little hole into which you have to put a needle to reset a calculator. In fact, it is actually not bad... You wouldn't want people to accidentally reset to factory settings whenever they fiddle with the buttons.

  • operagost 2011-06-30 14:20
    Meep:
    Childish:
    It turns out that the plastic switch was the reset button. Find the air slot on the side of the Mac Plus, & snap it in. Since Macintosh was user friendly, they didn't want regular people to have a reset switch.


    Regular people don't want a reset switch, they want their computer to not crash.

    Before System 6 introduced multitasking, Macs were incredibly stable. If you had a reset switch, all you gained was the possibility of accidentally pressing it and losing all your work.

    Ah, the good old days of 19-diggety-two, when we wore onions on our belts.
  • Hortical 2011-06-30 14:21
    Hortical:
    CoderHero:
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.


    Oh, you said *disks*... Sorry, my mind was wandering. :P


    Very original. Especially if you're one of the guys I did this to.
  • zunesis 2011-06-30 14:25
    Hortical (C-Octothrope in diguise):
    CoderHero:
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.


    Oh, you said *disks*... Sorry, my mind was wandering. :P


    So you couldn't stand to respond to Hort's last post after he psychoanalyzed you, so to try and feel good about yourself, you made fun of him indirectly.

    You know you have a problem with self-esteem when you resort to this.
  • Peter 2011-06-30 14:27
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!
  • Jochen 2011-06-30 14:28
    IBM's setup programs are epic.

    Once, I had to install an update for IBM's WebSphere Application Server. You are supposed to install such updates using the UpdateInstaller for WAS. The only problem was that my installed version of UpdateInstaller was too old, so I had to update the UpdateInstaller first. Luckily, updates for the UpdateInstaller don't require another UpdateInstaller. The update program for the UpdateInstaller even found my existing installation of UpdateInstaller, but it hung while creating an uninstaller for the update of the UpdateInstaller. I had to uninstall the UpdateInstaller completely and re-install the updated UpdateInstaller in order to use it to install the update for WAS.

    I guess that's what you should expect from a 100 year old company. Enterprise^2.
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 14:30
    zunesis:
    Hortical (admitting his secrets):
    CoderHero:
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.


    Oh, you said *disks*... Sorry, my mind was wandering. :P


    So you couldn't stand to respond to Hort's last post after he psychoanalyzed you, so to try and feel good about yourself, you made fun of him indirectly.

    You know you have a problem with self-esteem when you resort to this.


    Ha, I've got lots of problems, but self-esteem isn't one of them. Also, I've never logged in anonymously just to be a wanker, and I'm not about to start.
  • boog = Peter = Cocktothorpe 2011-06-30 14:32
    Peter:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!

    So you're real name is Peter, eh boog? Don't think that I forgot you use your first name when posting anonymously.
  • Andy 2011-06-30 14:34
    I think we have some Good Cop/Sipowicz going on here.
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 14:35
    boog = Peter = Cocktothorpe:
    Peter:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!

    So you're real name is Peter, eh boog? Don't think that I forgot you use your first name when posting anonymously.


    Ooh, can I put my tin-foil hat on too?! Like I said previously, I may have problems but I think yours are much bigger than mine...
  • da Doctah 2011-06-30 14:36
    anon:
    Fred:
    Because everything you buy for your computer has to have a CD so you can install something, I once got a Dell monitor with a CD.

    WTF?

    The "installer" basically copies a PDF of the manual to your hard disk.

    Of course, it only runs on Windows.

    I guess they figured if you're smart enough to have anything else, you're smart enough to figure out how to open a PDF from a CD. Or copy it yourself. Or just plug in the damn cable and forget about TFM.


    Just about every monitor comes with a disc, usually containing the manuals and the driver. Yes, every monitor has a driver, which tells the machine what capabilities (resolution, refresh rate) it has. Now tons of monitor drivers are included with OSes by default, and the generic driver will work pretty well for just about every monitor, but there are a lot of scenarios where the driver can be necessary or at least useful


    No CD (this was back in the days when you had to make a special request for a 3½" floppy instead of the default 5¼"), but my Apple //c joystick came with an instruction manual.
  • Peter 2011-06-30 14:38
    boog = Peter = Cocktothorpe:
    Peter:
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!

    So you're real name is Peter, eh boog? Don't think that I forgot you use your first name when posting anonymously.
    Wow, you think I'm boog and C-Octothorpe. I'm flattered. Thank you. (No, really, thank you! I'll be walking on air for at least the rest of the day.)
  • Frankie 2011-06-30 14:42
    My hovercraft is full of eels.

    Captcha: transverbero
  • Kella 2011-06-30 14:44
    The ClearCase install process is amazing. First, the Install Manager is Eclipse (Java) based, so it's a behemoth. Once the installer is installed you use it to install CCRC (ClearCase Remote Client) which is also Eclipse based, and also a behemoth.

    Installing it doesn't really make things better, the client is slow (and incompatible with any customizations your company has made to clearcase) that you'll probably ending up going back to the old, deprecated client.
  • Lucent 2011-06-30 14:45
    C-Octothorpe:
    zunesis:
    Hortical (admitting his secrets):
    CoderHero:
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.


    Oh, you said *disks*... Sorry, my mind was wandering. :P


    So you couldn't stand to respond to Hort's last post after he psychoanalyzed you, so to try and feel good about yourself, you made fun of him indirectly.

    You know you have a problem with self-esteem when you resort to this.


    Ha, I've got lots of problems, but self-esteem isn't one of them. Also, I've never logged in anonymously just to be a wanker, and I'm not about to start.


    Hey - I got you to talk to me again!

    Yeah, I'm sure that wasn't you. What other motivation would someone have had to post that? You never responded to my post where I explained how I was getting to you (because it would be implicitly admitting that I was getting to you) and then someone posts "Oh, you said *disks*... "

    That couldn't have been you trying to respond without ACTUALLY responding.

    You just can't help yourself can you?
  • Harrie in de Warrie 2011-06-30 14:47
    That magnet is just a great idea, not a TDWTF.. We have some videoconferencing setups, and some users "i know a thing or two about computers" tend to fiddle with 'em until its FUBAR.

    And then come running in, screaming their heads off
  • Peter 2011-06-30 14:47
    boog = Peter = Cocktothorpe:
    Peter:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!

    So you're real name is Peter, eh boog? Don't think that I forgot you use your first name when posting anonymously.


    What? No! Is it really that hard to believe that someone genuinely appreciates his input? Maybe there are more and they just don't say anything? At least I'd like to think so...
  • trtrwtf 2011-06-30 14:50
    C-Octothorpe:
    Ha, I've got lots of problems, but self-esteem isn't one of them. Also, I've never logged in anonymously just to be a wanker, and I'm not about to start.


    It's the internet! Everyone's anonymous! And the unregistered users ("anonymous" in retard speak) don't log in!

    Aren't you done yet?
  • KattMan 2011-06-30 14:52
    Man, this is what we have become?
    I'm going to go visit the UI hall of shame just to see some WTF's without the diatribe for a while.
  • Jim 2011-06-30 14:54
    Peter:
    What? No! Is it really that hard to believe that someone genuinely appreciates his input? Maybe there are more and they just don't say anything? At least I'd like to think so...


    Yes, I'm a C-Octothorpe fan as well! I really love his writing. I think it's excellent. Especially the arguments he gets into with those guys who think they're so clever. They're not so clever.
    You want to see clever? Keep an eye on C-Octothorpe. Cleverest guy on this site, by a long chalk.
  • Ralph 2011-06-30 14:54
    Jim:
    Peter:
    What? No! Is it really that hard to believe that someone genuinely appreciates his input? Maybe there are more and they just don't say anything? At least I'd like to think so...


    Yes, I'm a C-Octothorpe fan as well! I really love his writing. I think it's excellent. Especially the arguments he gets into with those guys who think they're so clever. They're not so clever.
    You want to see clever? Keep an eye on C-Octothorpe. Cleverest guy on this site, by a long chalk.


    Me too, boy howdy. I love his modesty and subtlety especially.
  • Ralph 2011-06-30 14:58
    Peter:
    What? No! Is it really that hard to believe that someone genuinely appreciates his input? Maybe there are more and they just don't say anything? At least I'd like to think so...


    Completely apart from anything any other unrelated posters might say (who are not me, by the way), I think C-Octothorpe is the best thing that ever happened to this site. Without him, this site would be a dreary wasteland, bereft of wit or substance.
  • Ted 2011-06-30 14:58
    Ralph:
    Peter:
    What? No! Is it really that hard to believe that someone genuinely appreciates his input? Maybe there are more and they just don't say anything? At least I'd like to think so...


    Completely apart from anything any other unrelated posters might say (who are not me, by the way), I think C-Octothorpe is the best thing that ever happened to this site. Without him, this site would be a dreary wasteland, bereft of wit or substance.


    Wait, that wasn't Ralph who said that, it was me.

  • Meep 2011-06-30 15:00
    Frankie:
    My hovercraft is full of eels.

    Captcha: transverbero


    Frog blast the vent core!
  • aardvark 2011-06-30 15:04
    Ralph:
    I think C-Octothorpe is the best thing that ever happened to this site.


    I agree. Half the fun is just listening to him talk.

    What's better than the Daily WTF? A [/i]Walking[/i] one!
  • Ralph 2011-06-30 15:12
    There's probably other hidden reed switches on the camera that unlock cool and awesome features! Let the treasure hunt begin!
  • Ralph 2011-06-30 15:13
    Ralph:
    There's probably other hidden reed switches on the camera that unlock cool and awesome features! Let the treasure hunt begin!


    I bet scratching the magnet over the lens for 10 seconds enables the 'soft focus' feature.
  • hoodaticus 2011-06-30 15:42
    Hey C-Octothorpe! Guess where I've been? Remember when you mentioned the Bastard Operator from Hell a few months back? Well, I read every single article that was ever written. Priceless. Thanks man.

    Now that that's done, I can resume reading TDWTF.
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 15:55
    hoodaticus:
    Hey C-Octothorpe! Guess where I've been? Remember when you mentioned the Bastard Operator from Hell a few months back? Well, I read every single article that was ever written. Priceless. Thanks man.

    Now that that's done, I can resume reading TDWTF.


    Fuck off, are you serious?!

    I thought you died!

    RE BOFH: I too got sucked into reading every article once too. Well, not *every* article, just for the past 5 years or so.
  • Matt Westwood 2011-06-30 16:00
    boog = Peter = Cocktothorpe:
    Peter:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!

    So you're real name is Peter, eh boog? Don't think that I forgot you use your first name when posting anonymously.


    If you lot are anything like me, you haunt this site when you're procrastinating.

    Sigh ... back to work. Now, what actually *is* the definition of a scattered space? Is it a space where every non-empty subset contains at least one isolated point, or a space where every non-empty closed set contains at least one isolated point? I really need to know ... and my sources contradict one another. The latter (found on PlanetMath) makes most sense in the context of demonstrating that the Either-Or topology is scattered, but in the context of something else I can't remember now it seems too restrictive. The former (found in Steen and Seebach) seems to lead to contradictions. Both MathWorld and Wikipedia are silent on the issue. And don't bother to look at ProofWiki, it's self-contradictory on the subject.
  • The Requester 2011-06-30 16:01
    Hey, can you bring back Nagesh, too. I love that character!
  • boog 2011-06-30 16:01
    boog = Peter = Cocktothorpe:
    So you're real name is Peter, eh boog?
    Close - you're only 5 letters off!

    Don't think that I forgot you use your first name when posting anonymously.
    1) Did you really invent some alternate universe where I said I used my first name to post anonymously, and
    2) where can I acquire such god-like powers?

    Or more to the point, how exactly is posting as the name "boog" not anonymous?
  • Ralph 2011-06-30 16:03
    Would you please stop using "Ralph" as one of your sock puppets? Ralph is one of my sock puppets.
  • Matt Westwood 2011-06-30 16:05
    The Requester:
    Hey, can you bring back Nagesh, too. I love that character!


    Don't you remember? He died from eating too much uncooked diarrhoea.

    (Of course, in India it's difficult to tell diarrhoea from their staple diet, so it's not an uncommon occurrence.)

    I believe he's up for reincarnation, but you have to wait some time for the baby to brew.
  • boog 2011-06-30 16:06
    Procedure:
    1. Boot up the Xcaster
    2. Place a magnet close to the lower left or right side of the camera lens (red circle on image below).
    3. After 5-10 seconds, the GUI screen should turn white, and the Xcaster will reboot.
    4. When the screen turns white, remove the magnet and wait for the booting to complete.
    5. Reset procedure is now complete.
    I'd hate to get this user manual mixed up with my pacemaker's user manual.
  • Design Pattern 2011-06-30 16:08
    Anon:
    You wouldn't want people to accidentally reset to factory settings whenever they fiddle with the buttons.

    That's not what Mike T asked for:
    Mike T:

    ...but we're finding that the hardware and software design are just not quite Enterprisey enough for our liking.

    Here's the enterprisey way of doing a factory reset:

    * Print out an XML-Document (like WSDL of your average Webservice).
    * Lay printout on wooden table.
    * Photograph with digital camera.
    * Order foto print by 3rd party company. Bonus points when done via a webservice.
    * When foto print arrives, hold foto print for 5 seconds in front of lens of the TV conference camera.
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 16:11
    boog:
    Procedure:
    1. Boot up the Xcaster
    2. Place a magnet close to the lower left or right side of the camera lens (red circle on image below).
    3. After 5-10 seconds, the GUI screen should turn white, and the Xcaster will reboot.
    4. When the screen turns white, remove the magnet and wait for the booting to complete.
    5. Reset procedure is now complete.
    I'd hate to get this user manual mixed up with my pacemaker's user manual.


    Now *that* sounds like an awesome weekend!
  • boog 2011-06-30 16:13
    operagost:
    Ah, the good old days of 19-diggety-two, when we wore onions on our belts.
    I remember that. We had to say diggety, because the kaiser stole our word for twenty.
  • The Proclaimer 2011-06-30 16:16
    Matt Westwood:
    The Requester:
    Hey, can you bring back Nagesh, too. I love that character!


    Don't you remember? He died from eating too much uncooked diarrhoea.

    (Of course, in India it's difficult to tell diarrhoea from their staple diet, so it's not an uncommon occurrence.)

    I believe he's up for reincarnation, but you have to wait some time for the baby to brew.


    I suspect he walks among us, and is no other than C-Octothorpe's personal troll, a legion of sockpuppets, and perhaps hoodaticus as well (the timing of his return is quite odd).
  • C-Octothorpe 2011-06-30 16:24
    The Proclaimer:
    Matt Westwood:
    The Requester:
    Hey, can you bring back Nagesh, too. I love that character!


    Don't you remember? He died from eating too much uncooked diarrhoea.

    (Of course, in India it's difficult to tell diarrhoea from their staple diet, so it's not an uncommon occurrence.)

    I believe he's up for reincarnation, but you have to wait some time for the baby to brew.


    I suspect he walks among us, and is no other than C-Octothorpe's personal troll, a legion of sockpuppets, and perhaps hoodaticus as well (the timing of his return is quite odd).


    Here, he may be able to help you...
  • Englebart 2011-06-30 16:25
    Having just orchestrated a ClearCase LT to ClearCase full upgrade, the Installation Manager installer bit actually made perfect sense to me. Also, the LT product line made a lot more sense to me than the full version does. That must be why IBM killed it!

    We skipped the silent install for ClearCase and just did it via the GUI. We did do the silent install stuff for RAD 8.0 because that takes a LOT longer and is better left to run unattended.

    Hint if you want to attempt this, find the latest version of the IBM Installation Manager you can so you can skip the update of the Installation Manager itself!

    Also, if you run the installer from the command line with -? or the like, it will show you the options you need to google. Same for the Installation Manager. The installation manager does a good job for you via -record or some similar option.

    Codez available upon beer.
  • The Proclaimer 2011-06-30 16:38
    C-Octothorpe:
    The Proclaimer:
    Matt Westwood:
    The Requester:
    Hey, can you bring back Nagesh, too. I love that character!


    Don't you remember? He died from eating too much uncooked diarrhoea.

    (Of course, in India it's difficult to tell diarrhoea from their staple diet, so it's not an uncommon occurrence.)

    I believe he's up for reincarnation, but you have to wait some time for the baby to brew.


    I suspect he walks among us, and is no other than C-Octothorpe's personal troll, a legion of sockpuppets, and perhaps hoodaticus as well (the timing of his return is quite odd).


    Here, he may be able to help you...

    Yeah, OK. A fake psychiatrist.

    I'm not angry. I'm just calling 'em as I see 'em.

    Do you really think all this site is full of people who have focused their attention on you?
  • KattMan 2011-06-30 16:47
    The Proclaimer:


    Do you really think all this site is full of people who have focused their attention on you?


    No, I really think there are only three people on this site. Me, Alex, and some dude having conversations with himself using many different accounts.
  • trtwtf 2011-06-30 16:58
    KattMan:
    The Proclaimer:


    Do you really think all this site is full of people who have focused their attention on you?


    No, I really think there are only three people on this site. Me, Alex, and some dude having conversations with himself using many different accounts.


    Did you ever read A Scanner Darkly?
  • hoodaticus 2011-06-30 16:59
    Matt Westwood:
    If you lot are anything like me, you haunt this site when you're procrastinating.
    Exactly. I just came to the realization that the transaction domain model I'm building would be a hell of a lot simpler if updates got pushed out of the database and into my apps in realtime using events and absolutely no polling. I have a bare-minimum bandwidth requirement (meaning I can only send changes rather than whole recordsets), a high-security requirement, a client-side caching requirement, and my data is constantly, rapidly changing.

    So, I'm gonna need a Service Broker, a session-based web service, a way to avoid duplicate caches and subscriptions on the client (I have many apps that will use this), encryption, compression, and authentication. And the client code has to be able to run in the nerfed Silverlight runtime as well as regular .NET4.

    So yeah, procrastinating. But since I'm also a manager, I could be surfing porn and they'd hardly care. I think I'll go do that now.
  • boog 2011-06-30 17:02
    hoodaticus:
    I'm also a manager

    That's quite unlikely.
  • method1 2011-06-30 17:06
    C-Octothorpe:
    Obviously the comments were written by a neural network.

    One of the greatest poems written in the English language. The moving saga of the pig and the dove will live forever.
  • too_many_usernames 2011-06-30 17:25
    method1:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Obviously the comments were written by a neural network.

    One of the greatest poems written in the English language. The moving saga of the pig and the dove will live forever.

    My level of confidence in the human race has just been slightly incremented. Which is nice, because it's been plummeting rapidly of late.
  • Some dude 2011-06-30 17:53
    KattMan:
    The Proclaimer:


    Do you really think all this site is full of people who have focused their attention on you?


    No, I really think there are only three people on this site. Me, Alex, and some dude having conversations with himself using many different accounts.


    So it's really just you and Alex then?
  • OldProgrammer 2011-06-30 17:57
    Another example of failing the Turing Test.
  • hoodaticus 2011-06-30 18:01
    boog:
    hoodaticus:
    I'm also a manager

    That's quite unlikely.
    Which just goes to show you what terrible luck I have. Code doesn't get PMS. Nuff said.
  • Matt Westwood 2011-06-30 18:02
    method1:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Obviously the comments were written by a neural network.

    One of the greatest poems written in the English language. The moving saga of the pig and the dove will live forever.


    Excellent, my screen needed a coffeewash. No quack.

    Still no progress on the scattered space question. Just spent 2 hours documenting Bert Jansch albums for bandtoband instead. Well it needed to be done.

    Perhaps I need to reconsider where "isolated point" is being used, whether it means "isolated in the space" or "isolated in the subset" when used in the various proofs and definitions I'm researching. Heck and darnation, why can't topologists be consistent?
  • Matt Westwood 2011-06-30 18:04
    hoodaticus:
    boog:
    hoodaticus:
    I'm also a manager

    That's quite unlikely.
    Which just goes to show you what terrible luck I have. Code doesn't get PMS. Nuff said.


    How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Three.
    Why?
    IT JUST *DOES*, ALL RIGHT?
  • Ralhp 2011-06-30 18:09
    I miss Master Plan Software.
  • Captain Oblivious 2011-06-30 19:38
    Matt Westwood:
    boog = Peter = Cocktothorpe:
    Peter:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!

    So you're real name is Peter, eh boog? Don't think that I forgot you use your first name when posting anonymously.


    If you lot are anything like me, you haunt this site when you're procrastinating.

    Sigh ... back to work. Now, what actually *is* the definition of a scattered space? Is it a space where every non-empty subset contains at least one isolated point, or a space where every non-empty closed set contains at least one isolated point? I really need to know ... and my sources contradict one another. The latter (found on PlanetMath) makes most sense in the context of demonstrating that the Either-Or topology is scattered, but in the context of something else I can't remember now it seems too restrictive. The former (found in Steen and Seebach) seems to lead to contradictions. Both MathWorld and Wikipedia are silent on the issue. And don't bother to look at ProofWiki, it's self-contradictory on the subject.


    It hardly matters. Just pick one and go with it.
  • Polar 2011-06-30 19:50
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    Whoever designed the camera reset function has been visiting trollscience.com much too often.

    Prick!!!!!!!
    I swear I lost some brain cells by visiting trollscience to see what it is

    GumGum Jelly...
  • boog or Nagesh but not Hortical (hat's Cockto too)... 2011-06-30 19:54
    C-Octothorpe:
    zunesis:
    C-Octothorpe:
    alegr:
    Yo dog, I herd you like installers, so I made an installer for your installation manager installer.

    No, no. no... It's:

    Yo dog, I herd you like managing your installations, so I made an installation manager installer so you can install your installation manager while you manage your installations.


    Hey, nice work! You're so much smarter than that guy, being able to cite memes and all. Thank God for you, C-Octothorpe. The contributions you add to the comments are just so important.

    Glad I can't help.


    FTFY


  • Anonymoose 2011-06-30 19:55
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:

    C-Octothorpe:


    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...

    It appears you care enough to respond.

    Why the F must you always create a fight in every comments thread (especially against your alter-ego)?
  • Joolie 2011-06-30 20:00
    Peter:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!

    ++
  • Mickey D 2011-06-30 20:04
    Ted:
    Ralph:
    Peter:
    What? No! Is it really that hard to believe that someone genuinely appreciates his input? Maybe there are more and they just don't say anything? At least I'd like to think so...


    Completely apart from anything any other unrelated posters might say (who are not me, by the way), I think C-Octothorpe is the best thing that ever happened to this site. Without him, this site would be a dreary wasteland, bereft of wit or substance.


    Wait, that wasn't Ralph who said that, it was me.


    I take that statement and raise you 500...
  • hello 2011-06-30 20:05
    C-Octothorpe:
    hoodaticus:
    Hey C-Octothorpe! Guess where I've been? Remember when you mentioned the Bastard Operator from Hell a few months back? Well, I read every single article that was ever written. Priceless. Thanks man.

    Now that that's done, I can resume reading TDWTF.


    Fuck off, are you serious?!

    I thought you died!

    RE BOFH: I too got sucked into reading every article once too. Well, not *every* article, just for the past 5 years or so.

    13 seconds is pretty quick to log out from one account and into another.
  • hello 2011-06-30 20:08
    Design Pattern:
    Anon:
    You wouldn't want people to accidentally reset to factory settings whenever they fiddle with the buttons.

    That's not what Mike T asked for:
    Mike T:

    ...but we're finding that the hardware and software design are just not quite Enterprisey enough for our liking.

    Here's the enterprisey way of doing a factory reset:

    * Print out an XML-Document (like WSDL of your average Webservice).
    * Lay printout on wooden table.
    * Photograph with digital camera.
    * Order foto print by 3rd party company. Bonus points when done via a webservice.
    * When foto print arrives, hold foto print for 5 seconds in front of lens of the TV conference camera.

    What happens if you can't take the picture because the camera you want to reset is the only one u got?
  • 90% of the people on this site 2011-06-30 20:10
    KattMan:
    The Proclaimer:


    Do you really think all this site is full of people who have focused their attention on you?


    No, I really think there are only three people on this site. Me, Alex, and some dude having conversations with himself using many different accounts.

    I reckon there's 4, cos I ain't you, I ain't alex, and though I have many aliases, I don't use accounts

    You can see some of them must live in different parts of the world because of their detached posting (like the last 10 entries might be me, or they might not), but none of the first 100 are....
  • boog (but not one of the real ones) 2011-06-30 20:13
    boog:
    hoodaticus:
    I'm also a manager

    That's highly unlikely.

    FTFY
  • C-Octothorpe Play 2011-06-30 20:22
    hello:
    C-Octothorpe:
    hoodaticus:
    Hey C-Octothorpe! Guess where I've been? Remember when you mentioned the Bastard Operator from Hell a few months back? Well, I read every single article that was ever written. Priceless. Thanks man.

    Now that that's done, I can resume reading TDWTF.


    Fuck off, are you serious?!

    I thought you died!

    RE BOFH: I too got sucked into reading every article once too. Well, not *every* article, just for the past 5 years or so.

    13 seconds is pretty quick to log out from one account and into another.


    That's why god made...
  • Hoodaticustard 2011-06-30 20:22
    hello:
    C-Octothorpe:
    hoodaticus:
    Hey C-Octothorpe! Guess where I've been? Remember when you mentioned the Bastard Operator from Hell a few months back? Well, I read every single article that was ever written. Priceless. Thanks man.

    Now that that's done, I can resume reading TDWTF.


    Fuck off, are you serious?!

    I thought you died!

    RE BOFH: I too got sucked into reading every article once too. Well, not *every* article, just for the past 5 years or so.

    13 seconds is pretty quick to log out from one account and into another.



    ...multiple browsers.
  • Kuba 2011-06-30 21:18
    Bagel:
    I agree. I think a reed switch is a slick solution, rather than having to blindly stab a paper clip through a small hole in the case, hopefully hitting a switch that doesn't have enough of a click to let me know I hit anything at all. And then probably hold the switch for at least 15 seconds before seeing any indication that I've done anything.
    I'm worried that it may not be a reed switch. Reed switches are bulky and a general pain to deal with. The SMT (surface mount) versions cost ~$2 in 1k quantities, so that's a lot of money to spend on something that may never be used. A hall switch costs 10x less (about $0.16 in 1k qty). Now hall switches are usually more sensitive, so I'm worried that they may be susceptible to stray triggering. Of course you won't be placing it next to big solenoids because it belongs on a table somewhere. But I'm pretty damn sure that a relay the size of an AA battery could easily trigger that hall switch. I've had small PCB-mount relays saturate magnetic data isolator ICs, and those need a hefty field to get saturated.
  • Kuba 2011-06-30 21:32
    CoderHero:
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.
    OTOH, magnets levitate over hard, um, superconducting dishes.
  • The Real Paula 2011-07-01 01:30
    You dawg, I herd you like installers, so I put an installer in you installer, so you can install while you are installing.
  • Severity One 2011-07-01 03:16
    Ralph:
    Completely apart from anything any other unrelated posters might say (who are not me, by the way), I think C-Octothorpe is the best thing that ever happened to this site. Without him, this site would be a dreary wasteland, bereft of wit or substance.

    Gee, thanks. :)
  • daqq 2011-07-01 03:35
    Jochen:
    IBM's setup programs are epic.

    Once, I had to install an update for IBM's WebSphere Application Server. You are supposed to install such updates using the UpdateInstaller for WAS. The only problem was that my installed version of UpdateInstaller was too old, so I had to update the UpdateInstaller first. Luckily, updates for the UpdateInstaller don't require another UpdateInstaller. The update program for the UpdateInstaller even found my existing installation of UpdateInstaller, but it hung while creating an uninstaller for the update of the UpdateInstaller. I had to uninstall the UpdateInstaller completely and re-install the updated UpdateInstaller in order to use it to install the update for WAS.

    I guess that's what you should expect from a 100 year old company. Enterprise^2.
    That's what you get for having Rube Goldberg as your chief architect.
  • Scarred for life 2011-07-01 03:46
    if you want to know real pain, forget about just using rational clearcase, try using it in combination with intersystems cache (there is an old WTF about cache/mumps somewhere, go read that, and add on an IDE which seems like it came from 1995)
  • Pete 2011-07-01 05:12
    Back before IBM bought Rational, Clear case had good easy to read documentation. That was the first thing IBM F'd up as soon as they got their hands on it.
  • forbjok 2011-07-01 05:17
    In soviet russia manual installs you!
  • Just another coder 2011-07-01 06:12
    The instructions you see are a glyph-by-glyph translation of one huge eastern-world language to english. Unfortunately all too common approach, still, even though there are tools like Google translate that do quite well -- sometimes. The problem is, that the statistic translators, like Google, do not work very well with rare languages.

    Few months back I was looking for stegfs and Ashley, the owner of the web site had installed automatic Google translation there. What I read about the stegfs looked like my language but did not look like it were about stegfs. Had to write Ash to turn off the translation for my language, which he kindly did, and now I can read the site. Unfortunately there are still many sites that use Google translate directly.

    Now, last week I read about another approach to machine translation: http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21028175.400-cracking-the-code-of-machine-translation.html Good luck! But I am sure this will be another dead end: without knowing the structure of the grammar, trying to deduce the word-by-word correspondences, but for the most common and obvious words, will not be possible.
  • Severity One 2011-07-01 06:42
    Microsoft is doing that now, auto-translating their KB articles to Dutch. And even though Dutch is the closest major language to English (the closest minor one would be Frisian), it just looks awkward, especially since they're leaving out quite important words (like verbs). It looks like they haven't figured out very well in what way Dutch word order differs from English, and is much more like German.
  • London contractor 2011-07-01 07:53
    Jochen:
    IBM's setup programs are epic.

    Once, I had to install an update for IBM's WebSphere Application Server. You are supposed to install such updates using the UpdateInstaller for WAS. The only problem was that my installed version of UpdateInstaller was too old, so I had to update the UpdateInstaller first. Luckily, updates for the UpdateInstaller don't require another UpdateInstaller. The update program for the UpdateInstaller even found my existing installation of UpdateInstaller, but it hung while creating an uninstaller for the update of the UpdateInstaller. I had to uninstall the UpdateInstaller completely and re-install the updated UpdateInstaller in order to use it to install the update for WAS.

    I guess that's what you should expect from a 100 year old company. Enterprise^2.


    I think the same happened to me! HORRIBLE!! But kind of funny when you think about it. I'm so glad I hopefully won't need to use Websphere or IBM software for anything... ever!!!

    Captcha acsi (dyslexic ASCII)???
  • hoodaticus 2011-07-01 09:24
    Matt Westwood:
    hoodaticus:
    boog:
    hoodaticus:
    I'm also a manager

    That's quite unlikely.
    Which just goes to show you what terrible luck I have. Code doesn't get PMS. Nuff said.


    How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Three.
    Why?
    IT JUST *DOES*, ALL RIGHT?
    Exactry!
  • PedanticCurmudgeon 2011-07-01 10:26
    Polar:
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    Whoever designed the camera reset function has been visiting trollscience.com much too often.

    Prick!!!!!!!
    I swear I lost some brain cells by visiting trollscience to see what it is

    GumGum Jelly...
    What exactly did you expect to happen? Enlightenment or learning from a site named "Troll Science"?

    Protip for newbies: don't visit unknown sites referenced on internet forums without doing a google search first.
  • hoodaticus 2011-07-01 10:46
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    Polar:
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    Whoever designed the camera reset function has been visiting trollscience.com much too often.

    Prick!!!!!!!
    I swear I lost some brain cells by visiting trollscience to see what it is

    GumGum Jelly...
    What exactly did you expect to happen? Enlightenment or learning from a site named "Troll Science"?

    Protip for newbies: don't visit unknown sites referenced on internet forums without doing a google search first.
    Holy shit that site is retarded.
  • paul 2011-07-01 11:01
    Hortical:
    CoderHero:
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.


    Oh, you said *disks*... Sorry, my mind was wandering. :P


    Indeed. I once got my dick caught between two NdFeB magnets. I had these magnets about the size of a dime and was demonstrating to my now wife how large the magnetic field was. After showing how the magnets will stick together with one on each side of my hand, I decided to demonstrate how even the width of my dick was not enough to fail these magnets. So I put them on opposite sides of my dick and the magnetic force held them in place.

    After a few steps of walking around like this something awful happened. The magnets both at the same time flipped 180 degrees and stuck together... With a good portion of my skin between them.

    Now this was not painful. There are apparently not many pain receptors in that part of a male's body. However, anyone that has played with these NdFeB magnets is well aware of what kind of force is necessary to separate them when they are that close together. For those that don't know: You can't just pull them apart. They have to be slid apart with great force.

    Minutes of panic passed. She was laughing. I was not. With my eyes closed and braced for great pain, I slid them apart.

    There was but a minor scratch where the magnets had been. Had CoderHero's original misread been the case in my situation (a hard dick), this would not have been an issue for me. There would not have been substantial loose skin to get caught between the magnets.


    True story.
  • tragomaskhalos 2011-07-01 11:53
    This reminds me of instructions for the old IBM RS/6000 for getting a tape out if the tape drive jammed, which went something like this (all illustrated with little line drawings):

    1. Ready your tools - screwdriver, wirecutters and a penlight battery
    2. Unscrew the drive and pull it out of the machine case
    3. Snip the correct wire
    4. Bridge cut wire with the battery to drive the eject motor.
    5. (Exercise for reader) patch up and reassemble the whole mess.

    Thank god we never had a jammed drive !
  • Buffalo Bill 2011-07-01 16:49
    "The hard dish installs the manual or it gets the hose again!"
  • Lance Uppercut 2011-07-01 17:01
    I'm tired of being a "Wanna-Be League Bowler!" "I Wanna-Be a League Bowler!"
  • Dave 2011-07-02 03:10
    Just Me:
    Maybe I'm just too geeky but I liked the factory reset procedure for the Xcaster. Factory reset is not an usual procedure and can cause a lot of trouble if done inadvertently. Using a magnet there is no need for a small hole (as is common in a lot of products).


    What's wrong with the 30/30/30 reset used by many routers? That's at least as hard to trigger accidentally as a magnet reset, and it's standardised enough that you can just go ahead and do it without needing to Google for online help (which is particularly useful when the router that you need in order to get the online help isn't routing any more because it needs a factory reset).
  • Dave 2011-07-02 03:30
    Meep:
    Frankie:
    My hovercraft is full of eels.

    Captcha: transverbero


    Frog blast the vent core!


    Bog blast all of you.
  • Dave 2011-07-02 03:59
    paul:
    I once got my dick caught between two NdFeB magnets. I had these magnets about the size of a dime and was demonstrating to my now wife how large the magnetic field was. After showing how the magnets will stick together with one on each side of my hand, I decided to demonstrate how even the width of my dick was not enough to fail these magnets. So I put them on opposite sides of my dick and the magnetic force held them in place.


    I once got my dick caught in a sheep. I was trying to demonstrate... oh, never mind, the police didn't believe it anyway.
  • Matt Westwood 2011-07-02 16:17
    paul:
    Hortical:
    CoderHero:
    Lockwood:
    I was going to comment on the comment manager comment manager comment, but I had a problem with my hard dish and couldn't find a magnet.

    There's your problem! Magnets and hard disks don't mix.


    Oh, you said *disks*... Sorry, my mind was wandering. :P


    Indeed. I once got my dick caught between two NdFeB magnets. I had these magnets about the size of a dime and was demonstrating to my now wife how large the magnetic field was. After showing how the magnets will stick together with one on each side of my hand, I decided to demonstrate how even the width of my dick was not enough to fail these magnets. So I put them on opposite sides of my dick and the magnetic force held them in place.

    After a few steps of walking around like this something awful happened. The magnets both at the same time flipped 180 degrees and stuck together... With a good portion of my skin between them.

    Now this was not painful. There are apparently not many pain receptors in that part of a male's body. However, anyone that has played with these NdFeB magnets is well aware of what kind of force is necessary to separate them when they are that close together. For those that don't know: You can't just pull them apart. They have to be slid apart with great force.

    Minutes of panic passed. She was laughing. I was not. With my eyes closed and braced for great pain, I slid them apart.

    There was but a minor scratch where the magnets had been. Had CoderHero's original misread been the case in my situation (a hard dick), this would not have been an issue for me. There would not have been substantial loose skin to get caught between the magnets.


    True story.


    Tried doing the same thing, but the width of my dick is too great to get this trick to work. Shame.
  • Design Pattern 2011-07-02 16:38
    hello:
    Design Pattern:

    Mike T:

    ...but we're finding that the hardware and software design are just not quite Enterprisey enough for our liking.

    Here's the enterprisey way of doing a factory reset:

    * Print out an XML-Document (like WSDL of your average Webservice).
    * Lay printout on wooden table.
    * Photograph with digital camera.
    * Order foto print by 3rd party company. Bonus points when done via a webservice.
    * When foto print arrives, hold foto print for 5 seconds in front of lens of the TV conference camera.

    What happens if you can't take the picture because the camera you want to reset is the only one u got?

    As we are still in the enterprisey part of the forum, the following will happen:
    * User will open a support ticket at the manufucturer of the camera to send a guy with a camera to perform the enterprisey factory reset.
    * The manufucturer asks if the camera already has the latest firmware installed. It recommends to install the latest firmware version which is not officially released yet. (OK that is more like Sybase handles bugs in their JDBC driver).
    * As it is not possible to install the firmware without doing a factory reset first, one employee offers to bring his own digital camera.
    * After taking the picture, the employee detects that it is not possible to connect the camera to one of the companies computers.
    * Asking IT support, he learns that it is against company security rules that employees can interchange data between their own storage devices and company computers. No exceptions.
    * So employee asks his PHB to let company order a second digital camera (cost 50$). PHB refuses, ast he "will not waste company money for that, we already have a camera".
    * Two months later, company buys a new video conference system for 10Mio$ as it is "vastly superior to the old one" and has "dedicated cameras to perform snapshots of printed XML documents to trigger a factory reset via cloud services".
    * The next time someone wants to use the video conference he learns that it is not working because Amazon Elastic Compute Cloud is offline again.
  • Jonathan Wilson 2011-07-03 07:09
    The only reason anyone even bothers with Rational garbage is that it has an IBM logo on it and most management-type-people are conditioned that anything that comes from IBM is automatically good.
  • Kaijuu 2011-07-04 05:50
    The Euro coins have been around for more than ten years now (just shy of ten years as the only currency in the Eurozone), so using then as a reference should be OK by now.

    I figure it would be the same for Europeans if they had used one of those new-fangled quarter dollar coins those people on the other side of the pond seem to have taken a liking to.
  • itsmo 2011-07-05 05:13
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:

    C-Octothorpe:


    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...


    Don't feed the Troll
  • itsmo 2011-07-05 05:16
    Peter:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Hortical:
    Anyone smell that? It's the odd stench of an unjustified superiority complex.

    Oh, wait, here it is:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Oh wow, you actually think I care what an anonymous loser on a forum thinks of me. Cool!

    AND you even took the time to tell everyone about it...
    Speaking as another anonymous loser on an internet forum, I enjoy reading your posts. I don't know why your contributions seem to have attracted so much hostility of late.

    Seriously, I like what you write here. Keep it up!


    Irony - hah, I love it. Obviously not a Septic
  • Chalito 2011-07-05 08:44
    The Rational ClearCase anecdote is 100% true, I had the misfortune to find myself in the same situation when I worked at big blue. God, what an awful pile of huming crap.
  • foo 2011-07-06 04:24
    Childish:
    The Factory Reset magnet trick takes me back to my first home computer, a Mac Plus.

    Circa 1985, I got the Macintosh and Lisa Assembly Language programming kit. It had some 3.5" disks, a book, & a small plastic switch.

    It turns out that the plastic switch was the reset button. Find the air slot on the side of the Mac Plus, & snap it in. Since Macintosh was user friendly, they didn't want regular people to have a reset switch.


    Yeah, had the same thing with a mac; and the reset switch was located at the side at the back. With my first PC, I was amazed that it came with a reset switch as standard, and that it was on the front. Then I started using PCs and learnt why.
  • schoschie 2011-07-06 07:05
    The »Installs the Manual« engrish is typical for languages which don't have a concept of articles (a, the). Bad translators will then just randomly insert "a" or "the" in places where they think they should go. If you take them all out, it's suddenly almost correct English.
  • reductio ad ridiculum 2011-07-06 20:02
    hoodaticus:
    Hey C-Octothorpe! Guess where I've been? Remember when you mentioned the Bastard Operator from Hell a few months back? Well, I read every single article that was ever written. Priceless. Thanks man.

    Now that that's done, I can resume reading TDWTF.

    While I was never a mainframe sysop, I often worked closely with them as an admin for unix/windows boxen.

    BOFH was our bible.

    Actually, while the ops I met were never as cynical as the B, their mgmt was, well, WTFworthy.

    I'll have to see if I can write something up & run it through the alexfilter.

    rar
  • Geoff 2011-07-14 00:58
    Is it wrong that the "Installs the Manual" instructions turned me on?