Looking at the resumé, Paul felt like they’d found the perfect person for their data warehouse project. The resumé had all the relevant qualifications and experience needed to make a remarkable ETL tool. Paul talked to the candidate, Brad, briefly during the interview process. “It says here that you’re proficient with Linux and have extensive database knowledge.”

Jonny Blu Martial Arts Demo - Still Photo 1.png
by Daofengmusic - Own work

“Well, yeah,” Brad scoffed. “They call me the ShaoLinux Monk. I karate chop through Linux like a stack of concrete blocks, no matter what the distro. When it comes to databases, they always bow to my will. I’m the right man for this job.”

Paul didn’t like his cocky nature, but Brad aced the rest of the interview, and despite some concerns, he was hired.

Paul showed Brad around the office and showed him to his workstation on his first day, and got Brad logged in. “OK, so how do I change my password from this default junk?” Brad asked.

“Use your ShaoLinux-fu!” Paul replied, while pantomiming karate moves. Paul assumed Brad was joking, and would have his password changed in a jiffy. Paul went back to his office.

Twenty minutes later, an email from Brad dinged into his inbox. “NO SERIOUSLY, how do I change my password on this thing???” A little late, perhaps, but Paul determined that Brad wasn’t kidding around. Since Brad was the cocky new guy, Paul decided he deserved a good ribbing on his first day.

“This link should tell you everything you need to know!” Paul shot back. Brad never replied to this attempt at helpful humor, so Paul assumed Brad got his password straightened out and got started on the world’s greatest ETL tool.

A few days later, Paul started getting complaints from other members of the team about Brad asking them too many questions and being unprofessional. Paul always encouraged his guys to ask questions if they weren’t sure about something, so he wanted to know what the big deal was. He stopped by to talk to Lacey, the network admin.

“Oh, yeah. Brad wanted to know the IP for his workstation. I told him, and then he sent me this email.”

Nice try, but you should double check your work! I poked around some, and I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT THE IP ADDRESS FOR THIS BOX IS 127.0.0.1! Brad - 1. Moron - 0!

That wasn’t acceptable behavior, so he went to Brad to straighten him out. As soon as he approached though, Brad berated him. “I don’t know how you expect my advanced brain to create any magic here! This stupid system needs all of these goofy Linux commands that I can’t be expected to know. All I usually need is cd, cp, mv and rm. The rest is all programmer-y bullcrap that your devs refuse to help me with. The monk will NOT take a vow of silence on this!”

“Sorry, Brad. I shouldn’t have assumed that you would know all of these shell commands,” he replied, while recalling Brad practically claimed he created Linux during his interview. “I’ll set up a conference call and make sure my devs know to help you out here. But you have to adjust your attitude, it won’t help anything.”

Paul scheduled the call, but got tied up in another meeting, and ended up dialing in late. He beeped in just in time to hear Brad riffing on him. “You guys shouldn’t be listening to Paul, anyway. He has no idea what he’s talking about.” Paul decided to mute his phone and see where this went. “If I ran this place, things would be so much better, and you guys would totally respect my authority! I have 10 years experience in IT, and I know what I’m doing. Paul is weak. He told me to ‘adjust my attitude’. What kind of passive-aggressive shi…”

“BRAD!” Paul unmuted himself. “You do realize I’m on this call, right? I set it up? Hang up and pack up your stuff, you’re done here.” Paul stomped over to Brad’s desk to ensure he actually followed instructions for once.

“You’re making a mistake, letting a talent like me go,” Brad muttered as he headed for the exit. Paul rolled his eyes as he watched Brad head back to the ShaoLinux Temple where rejects like him studied the fine art of arrogance.

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