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There's a Rat in my Computer (from M. Fragger)
A man called in distraught. "There is a rat in my computer!"
At first I thought he was talking about the mouse. But he then explained that every time he loaded a program, he hears something skittering in his computer. I got it immediately. Back then hard drives were pretty noisy, and thats what he was hearing. When I tried to explain it to him though, he totally freaked out and wanted a supervisor. He was insisting that we shipped him a unit with a rat in it.
I did my best to talk him down, but he didn't want to hear it, so I had a supervisor come on. He spent the next half hour explaining it over and over to the customer.
Flashlight versus Torch (from Doug Burbidge)
I used to work in the laser tag industry. I'm from Australia (where the gear was manufactured), but worked several years in the US.
The laser tag vests are covered in infrared sensors, and there's a test mode where you can shine infrared on each sensor and see a number flip on the LCD. If you haven't got an infrared source handy, you can just use an incandescent bulb to flood the sensor with enough broad-spectrum light and it will detect infrared.
So I'm talking a US laser tag operator through this process over the phone: "Hold down the trigger and flick the reset switch to get into test mode, then hold a torch up to each sensor in turn."
"Hold what up to each sensor?"
"A torch. Oh, wait, no, not a torch -- a flashlight."
He was thinking that I was telling him to hold a flaming brand up to his several-thousand-dollar kit.
No Audio Playing from Headphones (from Josh H.)
I work in IT Support at a tax law firm, and I received an IM today from a new attorney who was having trouble listening to an audio file on his headphones.
Naughty NAS (from Jeff L.)
Went to a client's office several weeks ago to do some work. Actually clean-up work from the last "IT Expert" they had on retainer.
$250 a month and the company couldn't be bothered with simple things like windows update and an active subscription to anti-virus. Anyway, mess cleaned up I'm on the way out the door when the owner asks me to take a look at the NAS device that the last tech had just installed. The tech had apparently spent 4 hours setting it up (on a network with 4 PC's....), but the owner didn't believe it was functioning correctly.
I check the Zyzel NAS utility, everything seems normal but backups aren't happenning. I log into the web admin panel and poke around. A weird error message to the effect of "no volumes" pops up on one page. Turns out the "expert" had installed a NAS box with no hard drives in it. WTF?
It Won't Boot (from John B.)
The company policy is to use an online chat system to help resolve such issues. As a matter of fact they don't provide a number to call. Being an easy going guy, willing to follow whatever policy to have my computer fixed, I found another computer to use to chat with the online helpdesk. What is contained below is that interaction.
Chat title: Laptop freezes at intial boot screen and will not boot.
Sagar > Thank you for using CIO Live Text Chat. My name is Sagar.
Please give me a moment to review your issue description.
John > ok.
Sagar > Hi John, I will assist you with that.
John > Thank you.
Sagar > Since how long you have been experiencing this issue?
John > Since this morning.
John > about an hour.
Sagar > Was there any changes made on the computer?
Sagar > Any software updates or software installation?
John > I went through security at the airport yesterday and TSA had a spot check on my
laptop and took it over to the side. Didn't check it last night, but this morning it won't boot.
Sagar > Alright. We will check some settings regarding the same.
John > ok?
John > what kind of setting would you like to check?
Sagar > Click on start >> My computer>> Click on C: drive>>
Click on Windows folder>> Click on the Prefetch folder>>
Delete all the files from the Prefetch folder.
John > it won't boot.
Sagar > Click on the Back button>> Click on the Temp folders and Delete all the files
from the Temp folders.
John > it won't boot.
John > there is no clicking on anything.
Sagar > So you mean you are not even getting the main desktop screen?
John > yes.
John > it won't boot.
Sagar > okay.
John > it stops at the intial boot screen.
Sagar > Can we turn OFF the computer and reset the battery.
John > sure.
John > done the battery is out.
Sagar > Remove the battery and wait for 2 mins.
John > and it is turned back on.
John > without the battery.
John > it still won't boot.
Sagar > What screen does it freezes?
John > all black, hp logo, intel centrino logo, F10=ROM Based Setup
John > that's it.
John > hit F10 nothing happens.
Sagar > Alright. Can you boot the computer in the safemode.
John > no.
John > it stops at that screen.
John > There is no chance do do anything.
John > it won't boot.
** Sagar has left the conversation **
Re: There's a Rat in my Computer, Naughty NAS, and other Support Stories
2012-08-07 08:19
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by
Anketam
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I am so sad at the Naughty NAS story. Beause of it, we will not get a story in a few years when a tech guy comes in and has to explain to them that he cant recover their backed up files because the drives were never there.
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Re: There's a Rat in my Computer, Naughty NAS, and other Support Stories
2012-08-07 09:43
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by
$$ERR:get_name_fail
(unregistered)
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A torch would very likely have worked too. Open fire emits even more infrared light than lightbulbs. |
Re: There's a Rat in my Computer, Naughty NAS, and other Support Stories
2012-08-07 10:57
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Remy Porter
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Maybe the HDDs that belonged in the NAS were full of porn, and that's why they were removed. Y'know, for... researching how that porn got there. Yeah, that's the ticket. Total violation of our IT standards. Oh, that's a total violation. It'll be a long, hard job figuring out how it got on there.
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Re: There's a Rat in my Computer, Naughty NAS, and other Support Stories
2012-08-07 11:31
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by
Zylon
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Please to reformat the needful.
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Re: There's a Rat in my Computer, Naughty NAS, and other Support Stories
2012-08-07 11:52
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by
Paul Neumann
(unregistered)
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The "Naughty NAS" may be mine...
When I was doing consulting, the company I worked for allowed clients to purchase their own devices which we were to connect and support. It was quite often that a client would purchase something which did not satisfy any need, but it was cheap. Generally only about 5% of those clients would listen to such recommendations as: └ It may be cheaper to buy a new printer rather than find a fuser for a 1980's LaserJet you bought at GoodWill for $15; └ No you don't need a Cisco Pix 535 for a 4 person office, a Netgear will provide plenty of bandwidth for sharing your 256kbps DSL connection; └ Installing Windows XP on your PII 300Mhz 96MB Ram computer is not "as good as buying a new one."; └ Installing a NAS without harddrives won't do anything for you. Yes, hard drives do cost more than the NAS box... You're not willing to spend that much? Yeah, good times for all. |
Re: There's a Rat in my Computer, Naughty NAS, and other Support Stories
2012-08-07 12:51
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by
RFmich
(unregistered)
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I once tried that. I was at a friend's house. Their brand new Hell computer (you can figure out the real company name if you like) was having an intermittent problem. After a bit of poking around, I discovered that if I wiggled the hard disk power cable I could hear the disk spinup/spindown etc. So flakey connector or flakey cable or flakey disk. We call Hell support in on my cell (no landline in that room). The script took about 1.5hours to go through with me punctuating each step faithfully done with 'If I wiggle the power cable on the hard drive I can hear it power up and down maybe there's a problem there.' Finally we got to the point where he said he suspected there was some sort of problem with the hard-drive (that was the first 45min). The next bit was convincing him that: - This was a brand new computer. - Shipping parts around when there could be more than one cause for this was a non-starter. - Please replace the damned computer because it is under the infant mortality period. What I did at the end is what I often do when someone's service frustratesmen. The last question on all the script is: Support tech: "Is there anything more I can do for you" Me: "Yes I wonder if you could rate your performance on this call?" Support tech: "I'm sorry I don't understand?" Me: "I just ran up a 1.5hour cell phone bill with you not listening to me tell you what the problem was. How do you rate your performance?" Key...say this very calmly don't be angry don't be an asshole just ask "How do you rate your performance on this call?" Captcha paratus |
Re: There's a Rat in my Computer, Naughty NAS, and other Support Stories
2012-08-07 16:17
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by
PG4
(unregistered)
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Not going to give the real company name or product but....
We had a blade server that suddenly went off line. We could even get to it's little diag processor that remains up as long as the blade is plugged in. We went to the machine room and saw that all the status lights, and even internal ones on the system board you could see through cooling vents were not on. Reseated the blade, even in another slot, and no change. Called support, and told them it's dead send the guy out with a new system board. Tech support insisted we get to the daig process and check the logs because it could be something else. We kept saying, it has no power, we can't get to diag processor. They kept saying they needed the logs first, and we told them there are no logs to get. This goes on for about 30 minutes. Finally we told them, either send the ticket on to the hardware group or give me your supervisor on the phone, NOW. We have a 4 hour response time contract, we are not going to play 20 questions for ever. When the field guy came out with the new system board and replaced it, you could see a crack in the plastic around the power pins on the backplane connector, and the power pins were loose. |
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