Dustin was recently tasked with being the technical liaison for a new vendor: a start-up company that provides web-based reporting capabilities. The start-up touts itself as a "small, agile consultancy" lead by "five gurus" with "over twenty-five years combined experience working at Oracle Corporation." It was Dustin's responsibility to ensure that the consultants had whatever they needed to implement their reporting solution. Following is the email conversation resulting from the consultants' first request: 

Hi Dustin,

We need your database in order to develop the reports 
and triggers against it. Could you send a copy of your 
production database?

Thanks,
Edward

-----------------------------------------------------------

Edward:

Our production database is a bit big (4TB) and I believe
that OTS regulations prohibit us from sharing production
data. We could get you our QA Database.

Dustin

-----------------------------------------------------------

Dustin,

That'd be great! Could you ship your QA server to us:
  [mailing address]

Thanks,
Edward

-----------------------------------------------------------

Edward:

The server? No, I meant that we can export the 
QA database and send the file to you via FTP.

Dustin

After a bit more back-and-forth, Dustin was able to have an export of the QA database sent to the consultants. Shortly after receiving the file, Edward called up Dustin ...

Edward: Could you send us a copy of your Oracle installation CDs?
Dustin: Wait ... the installation CDs?
Edward: Yes, we haven't been able to find the version that you are using.
Dustin: Uh, OK. I'll see what we can do.

Avoiding the need to grapple with corporate bureaucracy, Dustin went to eBay, bought the installation media for $3.25, and had it shipped to the vendor. Shortly after receiving the disks, Edward called up Dustin again ...

Edward: We need your Oracle support information so we can contact Oracle support.
Dustin: Errr ... I can't provide you that. Don't you have your own?
Edward: No, we don't. Not at this time.
Dustin: Didn't you guys work at Oracle? Isn't there someone you can call that can help you?
Edward: Well, yes, but not for support issues; that's why we need yours.
Dustin: Sorry, we can't let you use our support; you'll have to get a support agreement through Oracle.

A few days later, Dustin received another request from Edward ... 

Hi Dustin,

Can you have one of your DBA's give us a call? I 
need to know what command to run to import this 
database file into our database.

Thanks,
Edward

I'll spare you Dustin's reply, but suffice it to say that he was "transitioned off the liaison role" shortly thereafter. Amazingly, he hasn't been able to convince anyone to boot them out door yet.

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