• Rhywden (unregistered)

    Some random WTFs from my days in tech support and a reservation line for a car rental:

    a) Me: "Please give me your customer number, sir?" Caller: "beeep boop deeet dooot beeep" Me: "Sorry, I don't support frequency dialing. Please tell me your customer number by saying the actual numbers."

    b) Caller: "My car doesn't work anymore!" (loud noise from the highway in the background) Me: "Okay, sir, we'll see about a replacement in a second. Could you first get back into the car, you're quite hard to understand due to the noise from the highway!" Caller: "That's not possible!" Me: "Uh, why?" Caller: "The car's on fire!"

    c) Me: "Okay, what do you see on your screen?" Caller: "A potted plant. Why?"

    d) Caller: "I'm only getting a 'Notice 310: Smartcard not unlocked' when I'm trying to watch 'Girls Gone Wild 234'!" Me: "No problem, sir, but first we need to make sure that the card reader is working properly. If you could pull out the smart card=" Caller: "That's a small problem. I'm already all lubed up!"

    e) Caller: "This is the US military police from the base in Ramstein. We have an unauthorized car parked near the entrance to one of our bases. Could you tell us who the driver is?" Me, after having verified the identity of the caller: "Okay, it's, uh, a driver by the name of xxx xxx from Afghanistan..."

    f) Caller: "Well, we rented one of your trucks and had to fill up the tank because it was almost empty. After we did so, we noticed that we had used gasoline instead of Diesel... Me: "Yes! You noticed!" Caller: "... but then someone yelled at us and I started the motor to get the truck out of the way." Me: "Noooooo!"

    g) Caller: "A deer just swallowed my remote control. Do I get a warranty replacement?"

  • Bundy (unregistered) in reply to ContraCorners
    ContraCorners:
    but where does the name Windows 7 come from?
    I believe 7 is the sum total of braincells possessed by the people working on the OS.
  • Apparently true story (unregistered) in reply to Plz Send Me The Code
    Plz Send Me The Code:
    foot pedal? I don't think that's true

    Infact, funnily enough I have heard of an experienced programmer using a mouse with their feet, because he had RSI. And then he proceeded to lodge a helpdesk call to have the mouse checked out because it was broken. It was an interesting conversation when the helpdesk person turned up at his desk to find the mouse on the floor. I believe this is actually a true instance.

  • Jeremy Friesner (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Howard

    I don't know, I think the user has a point.

    If the company advertises computer support, they should specify which computers they are willing to support up-front. You shouldn't have to spend an hour on the phone just to find out they won't help you.

    The obligatory car analogy: You take your car to a repair shop, and after two hours of waiting in the lobby, they come out and tell you that the car is a Honda and this is a Toyota repair shop, and therefore there's nothing they can do for you.

  • Jackson (unregistered) in reply to Tom

    LOL...been there done that. Server went down at a bank. They called on the phone and told me there was a loud constant beeping noise. I listened as they brought a phone close to the server. I told them to look for a keyboard. They couldn't (wouldn't) find it. 45 minute drive just to go get a keyboard from behind the rack. Meh...

  • Boomer (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Howard

    Sadly this is so common. I recently moved from managing a retail store to a management role in a Call Center and its crazy the things people ask for when its their fault etc.

  • Old Nick (unregistered) in reply to galgorah
    galgorah:
    Anon:
    There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME
    I had a laptop years ago that came with Windows ME. Let me tell you, that OS is an abomination against nature itself. I would rather spend eternity bathing in a river of fecal matter than use that existential perversion again...
    You ask for it, you got it. *scrib* *scrib* ... Reservation... galgorath... *scrib* *scrib* There, you're booked. See you later, pal.

    :D

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to The guy
    The guy:
    Ok, I have to call B.S. on this... I have never seen a mouse with a USB-A connector, and I have never seen a computer with a USB-A connector. The USB standards designate the USB-A connector to be used for hubs or peripherals -- not the computer.

    Now, having said that, I can say that I have really, honestly had this problem, but it was plugging in a printer/fax/scanner combo that has Ethernet support (HP OfficeJet 6300 series). It's a printer, so it actually has a USB-A, and it does fit very well into the ethernet port and the two ports are right next to each other. I wouldn't be surprised if the HP techs get that one on the support line...

    Captcha: gravis. I only mention it because these stories all seem about as old as the Gravis Gamepad I used to have plugged into my SoundBlaster 16 sound card. Maybe even the 8-bit sound card...

    You seem to be very confused. USB-A is the FLAT connector which every mouse comes with. USB-B is the SQUARE connector. Furthermore a usb-a connector will fit into an ethernet port just barely enough to stay in. A usb-b connector will on the other hand simply fall out as it's too small.

    So I guess you fail on all counts or something.

  • Daveytay (unregistered) in reply to po8crg

    Yes there is (Lanier Voicewriter) and I used to fix the machines that stored the data on ESDI drives. They were about as big as two household fridges, had eight inch hard drives, mirrored, and a proprietary OS. Very robust and ran by something the trainer jokingly called Voodoo DOS. This is late 80's. They even had a remote module so you could transcribe from home over a modem! Anyways the product evolved and the next version has some SCSI drives and IBM OS2 using the HPFS. Really efficient, and a quarter the size. The version after that has voice recognition, but I had left the company to be a backpacking bum. Voice recognition is like OCR, great when it works. Amazingly, this stuff has been around for ages and pretty much just works if you don't need 100 percent accuracy. For accuracy, you need a person in the loop, either proofing or real-time. Anyways, this is a thriving business. Ever wondered how you get a transcript, or your teletext. How about your meeting of the AGM, in real time?

  • (cs) in reply to SoaperGEM
    SoaperGEM:
    a complete factor-state restore

    who listed to the irate customer complain the thirty-minute wait times and...

    it occurred in the cubicle next time his.

    I think the real WTF is that Alex has apparently never heard of "proofreading." These aren't the only examples.

    Proofreading? Come on, that's sooo pre-Interwebs...

  • z f k (unregistered)

    Once a co-worker ask me if I can check his own (from home) printer. He said the ink-cartridge ... uh... carriage(?) was jamming and making a loud "TRRR" noise. I said it was probably an hardware problem, so I can't do very much about it; anyway, I agreed to take a look at it.

    Well, to make it short, I found a piece of a toy his little son have put into the printer; it fitted nicely on the bottom, along side with the leading-bar.

    P.S.: sorry for my poor english

  • Anti-virus is a scam (unregistered)

    Oh boy! another list of commonly-repeated by entirely unverified "omg aren't users stupid?" made-up-stories!

  • marty (unregistered)

    daily wtf stories are so OBVIOUSLY made up. they are spam-email bad.

  • Peter E. d'Anne-trey (unregistered) in reply to Anti-virus is a scam
    Anti-virus is a scam:
    Oh boy! another list of commonly-repeated by entirely unverified "omg aren't users stupid?" made-up-stories!

    Oh come on! The writers of The I.T Crowd have to get their material from somewhere

  • Steve the Cynic (unregistered) in reply to Jay
    Jay:
    Shredder:
    No, I think the 9x and NT kernels have independent versions. 4 - NT4 (duh) 5 - 2k/xp 6 - Vista 7 - 7 (duh)

    I no longer have a computer with Windows 95 to verify this, but I distinctly recall that if you did the internal system call to ask the version number, which returned the major version in one register and the minor version in another, Windows 95 returned major version=3, minor version=95.

    I can't even try this now because I've become so enJava'd that I don't even have a Windows C compiler.

    In fact, 95 would report 3.95 only for 16-bit programs marked as requiring Windows 3.x. This was because the return values were AH=minor, AL=major, and what one book called "commercially important" programs written for 3.1[0] checked for retval >= 0x0A03. If it returned 4.0, that would have failed as 0x0004 is less than 0x0A03.

    32-bit programs and 16-bit programs marked for 4.0 got told 4.0.

    Oh, and OSR2 was 4.0B. 4.0C was OSR2 plus IE4. I once installed, around 1999 or so (don't ask) OSR2 (B) on a blank machine. I could not download IE4+ because the Microsoft site gagged on being accessed by IE3.

    dolor: what I felt right then.

  • AC (unregistered) in reply to PatrickBeebe

    s/chocked/chalked/

  • SR (unregistered) in reply to Kensey
    Kensey:
    I actually ran a copy of "Windows 96½" once. My manager was a warez fiend, and he downloaded a beta of what at the time (spring of 1996) was being called Windows 97 from alt.binaries.warez.ibm-pc (or whatever the group was back then). He decided my 386 workstation would be a great testbed for it.

    I nuked the OS in frustration after the third time I had to wait several seconds for a menu drop-down animation (that you couldn't disable, naturally) to render. He didn't understand why I seemed not to like it.

    That menu animation thing was a mahoosive resource hog. It could be disabled but I can't remember where (and can't be arsed to look on the 98 machine we've still got chugging away in the corner).

  • SR (unregistered) in reply to Central Harlem Anonymous
    Central Harlem Anonymous:
    It's not a perfect theory -- Windows 11 would be an even more obvious trump.

    Like the (in)famous Slackware jump from 4 to 7:

    http://www.slackware.com/faq/do_faq.php?faq=general

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to evilspoons
    evilspoons:
    I read somewhere that something like 40-60% of BSODs on Windows Vista in the first few months were related to NVidia drivers.
    Yes, but all those nVidia drivers were WHQL certified - they had passed Microsoft's hardware compatibility tests and were certified for use on Vista. So you can't blame nVidia if they provided 100% tested and certified drivers that still mess up on Vista - clearly the fault is with Microsoft and their pathetically unstable O/S.
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Jeremy Friesner
    Jeremy Friesner:
    The obligatory car analogy: You take your car to a repair shop, and after two hours of waiting in the lobby, they come out and tell you that the car is a Honda and this is a Toyota repair shop, and therefore there's nothing they can do for you.
    But that is exactly what would happen if you took your Honda to a Toyota repair shop! It's not their fault, it's your fault for going to the wrong garage!
  • Peter E. d'Anne-trey (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    Jeremy Friesner:
    The obligatory car analogy: You take your car to a repair shop, and after two hours of waiting in the lobby, they come out and tell you that the car is a Honda and this is a Toyota repair shop, and therefore there's nothing they can do for you.
    But that is exactly what would happen if you took your Honda to a Toyota repair shop! It's not their fault, it's your fault for going to the wrong garage!

    Colour me unconvinced. I've had my Toyota worked on by a Renault garage in the past. Thus proving the analogy is poor. What's really going on in the WTF is sod all to do with appropriate skills, and everything to do with warranties and revenues thereof

  • Fuzzypig (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous

    Bloody hell!

    Last time I time heard it called a rheostat was back in school! The science teacher brought out one of those huge 1 foot long metal things with a big long coil down it's length and a travelling hand-piece for the other pole to connect to!

    Fantastic, thanks for the memory!

  • (cs) in reply to Konrad
    Konrad:
    ContraCorners:
    Anonymous:
    Anon:
    There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME
    And there was a Windows 95½, AKA OSR2. And Windows 7 is actually Windows 6.1, which could legitimately be considered as "Windows Vista½". Looks like half versions are pretty much the norm for Microsoft.
    Not for nothin', but where does the name Windows 7 come from? I mean, many years ago I worked with a program called Windows 3.1. That makes

    Windows 95 = Windows 4 Windows 98 = Windows 5 Windows 2k = Windows 6 Windows XP = Windows 7 Vista = Windows 8 Windows 7 = Windows 9

    Or is the product called Windows 7 really just Windows XP repackaged?

    This always bugs me about September - December.

    The names of September, October, November, and December made perfect sense when the year started in March. Of course, it's been a few centuries now...

  • (cs) in reply to Someone You Know

    the final word on this topic, explaining (among other things) why 4.9 > 4.11:

    #include <stdarg.h>
#include <windows.h>
#include <winbase.h>

int DetermineWindowsVersion(void)
{
    OSVERSIONINFO x;
    ZeroMemory(&x, sizeof(x));
    x.dwOSVersionInfoSize = sizeof(x);
    if (GetVersionEx(&x))
    {   
        if (x.dwPlatformId == VER_PLATFORM_WIN32_NT)
        {       
            if (x.dwMajorVersion <= 4)                          return OS_IS_WINDOWS_NT;
            if (x.dwMajorVersion == 5 && x.dwMinorVersion == 0) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_2000;
            if (x.dwMajorVersion == 5 && x.dwMinorVersion == 1) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_XP;
            if (x.dwMajorVersion == 5 && x.dwMinorVersion == 2) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_2003_SERVER;
            if (x.dwMajorVersion == 6 && x.dwMinorVersion == 0) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_VISTA;
            if (x.dwMajorVersion == 6 && x.dwMinorVersion == 1) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_7;
        }       
        else if (x.dwPlatformId == VER_PLATFORM_WIN32_WINDOWS)
        {       
            if (x.dwMinorVersion ==  0) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_95;
            if (x.dwMinorVersion ==  1) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_95_OSR2;
            if (x.dwMinorVersion == 10) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_98;
            if (x.dwMinorVersion == 11) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_98_SE;
            if (x.dwMinorVersion == 90) return OS_IS_WINDOWS_ME;
        }       
        else if (x.dwPlatformId == VER_PLATFORM_WIN32_CE)
        {       
            return OS_IS_WINDOWS_CE;
        }       
    }   

    return OS_IS_UNKNOWN;
}
  • Brent (unregistered) in reply to Apparently true story
    Apparently true story:
    Plz Send Me The Code:
    foot pedal? I don't think that's true

    Infact, funnily enough I have heard of an experienced programmer using a mouse with their feet, because he had RSI.

    I've done it without having RSI (and I am an experienced programmer as well). It allows you to keep your hands on the keyboard and use the mouse at the same time. You need to be a bit careful, and it really helps if you have very dexterous feet. Of course, you can reduce the need for either of those conditions if you have a sturdy foot-mouse built to take the punishment and with controls that don't require any finesse.

  • (cs) in reply to Someone You Know

    To kick the dead whale a bit more: DOS-based: 1.x - dunno 2.x - dunno 3.0 3.1 3.11 - Windows for Workgroups 4.00.950 - Original Win95 4.00.950A - Win95 OSR1 4.00.950B - Win95 OSR2 4.00.950B + "USB Support" in Add/Remove Programs list - Win95 OSR2.1 4.00.950C - Win95 OSR2.5 (w/IE, I believe) 4.10.1998 - Original Win98 (and the date of relelase, I believe) 4.10.2222 - Win98 SE ... dunno about Me, 4.20? 4.50? 4.90? NT-based: ...here actually I'm curious... I heard there was NT 3.1, and possibly 3.0, can anyone confirm? 3.5 - ? 3.51 4.0 5.0.2195 - Win2k 5.1.2600 - XP32 5.2 - Server 2k3, XP64 6.0 - Vista, Server 2k8 6.1 - Seven, Server 2k8R2

  • SCB (unregistered) in reply to Brent
    Brent:
    Apparently true story:
    Plz Send Me The Code:
    foot pedal? I don't think that's true

    Infact, funnily enough I have heard of an experienced programmer using a mouse with their feet, because he had RSI.

    I've done it without having RSI (and I am an experienced programmer as well). It allows you to keep your hands on the keyboard and use the mouse at the same time. You need to be a bit careful, and it really helps if you have very dexterous feet. Of course, you can reduce the need for either of those conditions if you have a sturdy foot-mouse built to take the punishment and with controls that don't require any finesse.

    OMG There really is such a thing! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Footmouse

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to dpm
    dpm:
    the final word on this topic, explaining (among other things) why 4.9 > 4.11:

    <snipped the code, see above>

    So, in conclusion, it's actually version 4.90 instead of 4.9 and clearly, 4.90 is greater than 4.11. Thanks for that. I wonder what happened to those other 79 minor versions?

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    dpm:
    the final word on this topic, explaining (among other things) why 4.9 > 4.11:

    <snipped the code, see above>

    So, in conclusion, it's actually version 4.90 instead of 4.9 and clearly, 4.90 is greater than 4.11. Thanks for that. I wonder what happened to those other 79 minor versions?

    Marketing happened.

    Also, thanks for pointing out where that 4.11 thing came from... my list was what VER (in NT; btw... didn't 95 report DOS 7.0, 98 and SE 7.10 and Me 7.11 in VER?) and the apropriate About box / System Properties / boot messages would say... 98SE is 4.10.2222 in there.

  • Garmoran (unregistered) in reply to Someone You Know
    Someone You Know:
    Konrad:

    This always bugs me about September - December.

    The names of September, October, November, and December made perfect sense when the year started in March. Of course, it's been a few centuries now...

    My turn to be a pedant... The year always started in January: July and August were inserted at monthname[September]

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    dpm:
    the final word on this topic, explaining (among other things) why 4.9 > 4.11:

    <snipped the code, see above>

    So, in conclusion, it's actually version 4.90 instead of 4.9 and clearly, 4.90 is greater than 4.11. Thanks for that. I wonder what happened to those other 79 minor versions?

    This would all make more sense if they just put "Version 4 Revision 9" and "Version 4 Revision 11", then if they needed more detail, used Subversion or Build or something.

    "Version 4.11" is NOT proper math. Ughh - they should've said 4.09 if they wanted it to be right earlier, but who's gonna say "4.01" for what is surely the only major revision? [/sarcasm] I hope Mac OS X doesn't make it past 10.9 for this exact reason.

  • (cs) in reply to Garmoran
    Garmoran:
    Someone You Know:
    Konrad:

    This always bugs me about September - December.

    The names of September, October, November, and December made perfect sense when the year started in March. Of course, it's been a few centuries now...

    My turn to be a pedant... The year always started in January: July and August were inserted at monthname[September]

    Sorry, no. A lot of people think this, but I'm not sure where it comes from.

    July and August were not "inserted"; the existing months of Quintilis and Sextilis were renamed July and August. This was several centuries after the Roman calendar was expanded to 12 months with the addition of Ianuarius (January) and Februarius (February) to cover the winter, which had previously not been part of any month. It was the addition of these two months that threw off the numerical names of the last six months.

  • (cs) in reply to evilspoons
    evilspoons:
    Anonymous:
    dpm:
    the final word on this topic, explaining (among other things) why 4.9 > 4.11:

    <snipped the code, see above>

    So, in conclusion, it's actually version 4.90 instead of 4.9 and clearly, 4.90 is greater than 4.11. Thanks for that. I wonder what happened to those other 79 minor versions?

    This would all make more sense if they just put "Version 4 Revision 9" and "Version 4 Revision 11", then if they needed more detail, used Subversion or Build or something.

    "Version 4.11" is NOT proper math. Ughh - they should've said 4.09 if they wanted it to be right earlier, but who's gonna say "4.01" for what is surely the only major revision? [/sarcasm] I hope Mac OS X doesn't make it past 10.9 for this exact reason.

    It looks to me --- I'm just guessing here --- that before Microsoft came up with the current method of four numbers separated by periods (major.minor.build.release), they reserved the "tens" digit for major releases:

    4.00 : Windows 95 4.10 : Windows 98 4.20 : [never used] 4.30 : [never used] 4.40 : [never used] 4.50 : [never used] 4.60 : [never used] 4.70 : [never used] 4.80 : [never used] 4.90 : Windows ME

    and used the "ones" column for updates within (95 OSR2, 98 SE).

  • cfreak (unregistered) in reply to ContraCorners
    ContraCorners:
    Anonymous:
    Anon:
    There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME
    And there was a Windows 95½, AKA OSR2. And Windows 7 is actually Windows 6.1, which could legitimately be considered as "Windows Vista½". Looks like half versions are pretty much the norm for Microsoft.
    Not for nothin', but where does the name Windows 7 come from? I mean, many years ago I worked with a program called Windows 3.1. That makes

    Windows 95 = Windows 4 Windows 98 = Windows 5 Windows 2k = Windows 6 Windows XP = Windows 7 Vista = Windows 8 Windows 7 = Windows 9

    Or is the product called Windows 7 really just Windows XP repackaged?

    Well if that's the case you forgot Windows ME which would be 6 and move everything else up one. I believe that MS sees it like so:

    Windows 95 = 4 Windows 98 = 4.5 Windows ME = 4.6? Windows 2k = 5 Windows XP = 5.5 Windows Vista = 6 Windows 7 = 7

  • (cs)

    Lyfe is tough

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to cfreak
    cfreak:
    Well if that's the case you forgot Windows ME which would be 6 and move everything else up one. I believe that MS sees it like so:

    Windows 95 = 4 Windows 98 = 4.5 Windows ME = 4.6? Windows 2k = 5 Windows XP = 5.5 Windows Vista = 6 Windows 7 = 7

    ME was version 4.90. But for the love of God, Windows 7 is version 6.1!!!! It is not version 7, it never was, it never will be.

    [Post attempt #4, and I did a preview before submitting so the "preview before post" theory is out the window]

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    ME was version 4.90. But for the love of God, Windows 7 is version 6.1!!!! It is not version 7, it never was, it never will be.
    Besides, people doesn't seem to understand that Windows and Windows NT are separate things. "Windows 4.0" is "95", but "Windows NT 4.0" isn't. Last version of "Windows" was 4.90 (Me), last version of Windows NT as for now is 6.1, sold under the brand name of "Windows 7".
    Anonymous:
    [Post attempt #4, and I did a preview before submitting so the "preview before post" theory is out the window]
    Maybe try to register, then? It always accepts my posts at the first attempt...
  • (cs) in reply to bannedfromcoding
    bannedfromcoding:
    Maybe try to register, then? It always accepts my posts at the first attempt...
    Nope; many registered users, including myself, have the problem.
  • Anti-virus is a scam (unregistered) in reply to Oxin
    Oxin:
    (jumping on the angry bandwagon)Wow, a whole post on typical tech support.

    On a more serious note, I love these types of stories. They keep IT interesting. Like the time I had a user restart their computer to fix printer issues(the easy way to restart the print spooler service) and after an hour of over-the-phone troubleshooting the clearly more advanced problem, I figured out that user thought logging off and restarting were the same thing.

    Wow, so if you had told the user what you wanted him to do instead of telling him something completely different, relying on one set of side-effects without bothering to consider any other side-effects, it all would have been over much sooner! What a stupid user!

  • Franz Kafka (unregistered) in reply to Anti-virus is a scam
    Anti-virus is a scam:
    Oxin:
    (jumping on the angry bandwagon)Wow, a whole post on typical tech support.

    On a more serious note, I love these types of stories. They keep IT interesting. Like the time I had a user restart their computer to fix printer issues(the easy way to restart the print spooler service) and after an hour of over-the-phone troubleshooting the clearly more advanced problem, I figured out that user thought logging off and restarting were the same thing.

    Wow, so if you had told the user what you wanted him to do instead of telling him something completely different, relying on one set of side-effects without bothering to consider any other side-effects, it all would have been over much sooner! What a stupid user!

    You really think that someone who doesn't get the difference between logging off and rebooting is going to be able to restart a service?

  • (cs) in reply to ContraCorners
    ContraCorners:
    Anonymous:
    Anon:
    There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME
    And there was a Windows 95½, AKA OSR2. And Windows 7 is actually Windows 6.1, which could legitimately be considered as "Windows Vista½". Looks like half versions are pretty much the norm for Microsoft.
    Not for nothin', but where does the name Windows 7 come from? I mean, many years ago I worked with a program called Windows 3.1. That makes

    Windows 95 = Windows 4 Windows 98 = Windows 5 Windows 2k = Windows 6 Windows XP = Windows 7 Vista = Windows 8 Windows 7 = Windows 9

    Or is the product called Windows 7 really just Windows XP repackaged?

    In their defense, I think the origin of the "Windows 7" lies in the NT version number, not counted from 3.1.

    After 95/98/ME we had:

    • NT 4
    • 2k (Was apparently referred to internally as NT 5)
    • XP allegedly shared similar architecture as 2k, and was still called NT 5
    • Making Vista NT 6.

    Of course, that still leaves 7 a completely arbitrary and questionable choice. But hey, MS already milked the millennium for /two/ marketable version names (2k and ME), so why expect any less?

  • ... (unregistered)

    but they live little doo-doos but they live little but they live

  • (cs) in reply to Mike

    I've seen USB plugs jammed into ethernet ports, modem (RJ11) plugs jammed into ethernet ports (wrecking the port), and I've had calls from users who haven't connected the fact that their power is out with the fact that they can't get to Google. Well the laptop is on, isn't it?

    Way back before optical mice were common, I've also seen a user who complained her mouse wasn't working. When I went to see what was going on, she was lifting the mouse up a fraction of an inch when moving it, so the ball just grazed the desk - this made the mouse pointer jump around all over the place.

    Either (1)users are stupid or (2)nobody's born knowing this stuff. I suspect the truth lies somewhere in between. I'm just glad I got to use the phrase "ball just grazed the desk".

  • Company names need to be used.... (unregistered) in reply to WhiskeyJack

    Exactly sounds like what the Geek Squad morons pull on people. I cant believe anyone allows Geek Squad incompetent people near their TV let alone a computer. I have cleaned up more "Geek squad" messes for clients than any other tech support company.

    One of my customers was told by the "geek Squad expert" that he should not use linux as it will void warranties, cause viruses in the house and can even make things catch fire!... The customer asked because his son uses ubuntu.

  • Apparently true story (unregistered) in reply to SCB
    SCB:
    Brent:
    Apparently true story:
    Plz Send Me The Code:
    foot pedal? I don't think that's true

    Infact, funnily enough I have heard of an experienced programmer using a mouse with their feet, because he had RSI.

    I've done it without having RSI (and I am an experienced programmer as well). It allows you to keep your hands on the keyboard and use the mouse at the same time. You need to be a bit careful, and it really helps if you have very dexterous feet. Of course, you can reduce the need for either of those conditions if you have a sturdy foot-mouse built to take the punishment and with controls that don't require any finesse.

    OMG There really is such a thing! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Footmouse

    But that person used a regular mouse on the floor. But even then TRWTF was getting the helpdesk to look at the issue of a broken mouse when you are using it in such an unconventional way.

  • Andrew (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous
    Yes, but all those nVidia drivers were WHQL certified - they had passed Microsoft's hardware compatibility tests and were certified for use on Vista. So you can't blame nVidia if they provided 100% tested and certified drivers that still mess up on Vista - clearly the fault is with Microsoft and their pathetically unstable O/S.

    They pass the WHQL test, because they cheat. The code itself can't change, because MS signs it, but it can behave differently in different enviroments (run is stable mode during WHQL test, and in fast mode otherwise). Like they "optimized" several times for 3DMark. I used Vista for 2 years (switched to 7 when the beta came out). Almost all BSOD happened in 3D games, and every driver update made it more stable. And actually Vista prevented a lot of BSOD by restarting only the video driver.

  • FIA (unregistered) in reply to bannedfromcoding
    bannedfromcoding:
    Anonymous:
    ME was version 4.90. But for the love of God, Windows 7 is version 6.1!!!! It is not version 7, it never was, it never will be.
    Besides, people doesn't seem to understand that Windows and Windows NT are separate things. "Windows 4.0" is "95", but "Windows NT 4.0" isn't. Last version of "Windows" was 4.90 (Me), last version of Windows NT as for now is 6.1, sold under the brand name of "Windows 7".

    But even this is arbitary, as NT started at version 3, not 1. So:

    NT3.1 = Version 1 NT3.5 = Version 2 (or 1.5?) NT3.51 = Version 3 (or 1.51?) NT4.0 = Version 4 (or 2?) NT5/Win2K = Version 5 NT5.1/WinXP = Version 6 NT5.2/XP64,XPMCE,W2K3 = Version 7 NT6/Vista,W2K8 = Version 8 NT6.1/Win7 = Version 9

    I'm confused. Maybe it doesn't matter that much. ;)

    Aside: Being a bit of an old OS geek I recently installed NT3.51 under a VM, it takes about 5 minutes and it's quite odd seeing such an old os in 1600x1200x32 on a dual core VM (which it delt with) using 1G of memory.

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Andrew
    Andrew:
    Yes, but all those nVidia drivers were WHQL certified - they had passed Microsoft's hardware compatibility tests and were certified for use on Vista. So you can't blame nVidia if they provided 100% tested and certified drivers that still mess up on Vista - clearly the fault is with Microsoft and their pathetically unstable O/S.
    They pass the WHQL test, because they cheat.
    I consider that a failing of Microsoft's tests, if they can be cheated at all. I know that nVidia and ATI have both implemented optimisations to falsely inflate their scores in benchmarks like 3DMark and I absolutely don't agree with this behaviour. But as far as I'm concerned, if nVidia are "cheating" their way through the hardware compatibility tests like you suggest, then Microsoft has failed to devise a robust and effective test suite. The whole point of WHQL certification is to verify the efficacy and reliability of a driver; if drivers can simply cheat their way to certification, then the entire mechanism is fundamentally flawed and completely worthless. I don't believe it is as easy to cheat Microsoft as you think it is.
  • genitus, that's what you are (unregistered) in reply to Garth Webb
    Garth Webb:
    I'm not someone who usually comments just to point out spelling errors, but these are getting distracting.
    You know what's distracting? Having half a dozen guys pointing the same damned errors! Read the grumblesmurfing comments before posting!
  • yorkshireman (unregistered) in reply to Carl
    Carl:
    Back in the good old days (you kids have it so easy) the computer was in a large room halfway across town, and you did your work on a teletype connected by dial up modem.
    Oh, you had it easy! I had to walk thirty miles in a snowstorm, uphill both ways, pushing the bits along the modem line myself with no help, live in a cardboard box and eat cockroaches for breakfast.

Leave a comment on “CompuMart Support, Part 1: Windows 96½ & More”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article