• el jaybird (unregistered)

    NOW you tell me. I wondered who was the nutcase who chose bright red carpeting in all our hallways.

    Captcha: burned!

  • (cs)

    You're all idiots, that's for sure...

    That 2nd one isn't a WTF. It's barely worthy of mention on Engrish.com

  • chris (unregistered)

    #2 is not a WTF. Asus is well known for horrible translations to English.

  • eth (unregistered)

    ^ WTF

  • (cs)

    It's a dessert topping AND a floor cleaner.

  • JLR (unregistered) in reply to chris

    Not just ASUS. I've found that the web sites of computer component manufacturers tend to have the worst English, and the buggiest implementations.

    ASUS, Gigabyte, Lite-On, etcetera. The products themselves are all good, but the support software and websites are always buggy and filled with horrible Engrish.

  • (cs)

    The DO NOT USE entries must be for QA positions.

  • Cowbert (unregistered) in reply to JLR
    JLR:
    Not just ASUS. I've found that the web sites of computer component manufacturers tend to have the worst English, and the buggiest implementations.

    ASUS, Gigabyte, Lite-On, etcetera. The products themselves are all good, but the support software and websites are always buggy and filled with horrible Engrish.

    Exactly. I mean what do you expect? They're all Taiwanese companies. They're lucky if they can hire people who can type in English (secretaries are "traditionally" highly valued in Taiwan because they're often the sole English proxies for the rest of the company).

  • (cs)

    Okay, I didn't get the carpet one...

  •   (unregistered)

    You've never used tabasco sauce to clean a carpet? Try it sometime!

  • Troy Mclure (unregistered) in reply to clively
    clively:
    Okay, I didn't get the carpet one...

    Seriously? Someone is taking a survey and the question is which product they use to remove stains from Carpet. You'd expect products that actually clean carpets. But you see 2 entries for Tabasco sauce.

    Get it?

  • (cs)

    Just yesterday I received an email from Seagate touting a promotion with a link to Download a Free MP3. The text right underneath floored me. It read, "while supplies last".

    I guess their web-server drive (Seagate) will only tolerate a limited number of downloads!!!

  • Thomas (unregistered)

    Lol, I actually have tried using tobasco sauce as floor cleaner before, only as a preventative. Our dog developed a nasty habit of scooting his behind on a rug inside our door.

    We washed a few rugs, replaced a few rugs, and finally turned to tobasco. The dog walked to the rug, smelled the tobasco and sniffed for a moment (we thought he'd leave), then sat down and scooted right across it. He was one uncomfortable doggie for a few minutes.

    Unfortunately for him it took a few scoots before he learned to associate the tobasco smell with the burning ass. Now after washing the mat my wife rubs a little tobasco on the under side to keep the smell there. A rubber no-slip pad beneath the mat keeps the tobasco sauce off the floor.

  • rd (unregistered) in reply to Troy Mclure
    Troy Mclure:
    clively:
    Okay, I didn't get the carpet one...

    Seriously? Someone is taking a survey and the question is which product they use to remove stains from Carpet. You'd expect products that actually clean carpets. But you see 2 entries for Tabasco sauce.

    Get it?

    I don't get it either. If the survey is about carpet cleaning products then why are they showing Tabasco sauce?

  • grrrr (unregistered) in reply to Thomas
    Thomas:
    Lol, I actually have tried using tobasco sauce as floor cleaner before, only as a preventative. Our dog developed a nasty habit of scooting his behind on a rug inside our door.

    We washed a few rugs, replaced a few rugs, and finally turned to tobasco. The dog walked to the rug, smelled the tobasco and sniffed for a moment (we thought he'd leave), then sat down and scooted right across it. He was one uncomfortable doggie for a few minutes.

    Unfortunately for him it took a few scoots before he learned to associate the tobasco smell with the burning ass. Now after washing the mat my wife rubs a little tobasco on the under side to keep the smell there. A rubber no-slip pad beneath the mat keeps the tobasco sauce off the floor.

    I think that means you should take your dog to the Vet. I can't remember what it is a sign of but I think it is something that can be treated.

  • chikinpotpi (unregistered) in reply to grrrr

    my dog scooted for a while, then his butt exploded.... some kind of swolen gland Now he has two butt holes and we have to milk his ass once a week

    Sad times...

  • (cs) in reply to chikinpotpi
    chikinpotpi:
    my dog scooted for a while, then his butt exploded.... some kind of swolen gland Now he has two butt holes and we have to milk his ass once a week

    Sad times...

    thanks! you made my day!

  • ViciousPsicle (unregistered) in reply to rd
    rd:
    Troy Mclure:
    clively:
    Okay, I didn't get the carpet one...

    Seriously? Someone is taking a survey and the question is which product they use to remove stains from Carpet. You'd expect products that actually clean carpets. But you see 2 entries for Tabasco sauce.

    Get it?

    I don't get it either. If the survey is about carpet cleaning products then why are they showing Tabasco sauce?

    They're probably pulling the data for the survey from a database, and either they used the wrong key value, or the values changed after the survey was written.

  • James (unregistered) in reply to grrrr
    grrrr:
    Thomas:
    Lol, I actually have tried using tobasco sauce as floor cleaner before, only as a preventative. Our dog developed a nasty habit of scooting his behind on a rug inside our door.

    We washed a few rugs, replaced a few rugs, and finally turned to tobasco. The dog walked to the rug, smelled the tobasco and sniffed for a moment (we thought he'd leave), then sat down and scooted right across it. He was one uncomfortable doggie for a few minutes.

    Unfortunately for him it took a few scoots before he learned to associate the tobasco smell with the burning ass. Now after washing the mat my wife rubs a little tobasco on the under side to keep the smell there. A rubber no-slip pad beneath the mat keeps the tobasco sauce off the floor.

    I think that means you should take your dog to the Vet. I can't remember what it is a sign of but I think it is something that can be treated.

    He might need his anal glands expressed. I thank God every time I see it mentioned on TV or the Internet that we have a breed that doesn't develop that problem.

  • Me (unregistered)

    That dog training is hilariously cruel.

    I once made the mistake of handling a sensitive area of my body shortly after chopping habaneros; I still laugh through the tears.

    The first WTF is likely from a poorly implemented database design. They probably deleted some active positions but had to keep them in the table for older entries. Unfamiliar with logical deletes, they just changed the names. Notice the increasing use of ! to keep the names unique.

  • (cs) in reply to rd
    rd:
    Troy Mclure:
    clively:
    Okay, I didn't get the carpet one...

    Seriously? Someone is taking a survey and the question is which product they use to remove stains from Carpet. You'd expect products that actually clean carpets. But you see 2 entries for Tabasco sauce.

    Get it?

    I don't get it either. If the survey is about carpet cleaning products then why are they showing Tabasco sauce?

    This is the validation question. The answer is always thrown out. If you choose Tabasco your entire test is thrown out. They are making sure you aren't just clicking random questions or a bot selecting random answers to satisfy some survey for cash thing.

    CAPTCHA? We ain't got no CAPTCHA. We don't need no CAPTCHA. We don't need no stinking CAPTCHA!

  • Freddy Bob (unregistered) in reply to Thomas
    Thomas:
    Lol, I actually have tried using tobasco sauce as floor cleaner before, only as a preventative. Our dog developed a nasty habit of scooting his behind on a rug inside our door.
    Maybe you could have used the Tabasco to cure the dog's worms instead. Even without the power of speech, that is a pretty clear way of saying 'Ow, my arse hurts'.
  • SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to James
    James:
    grrrr:
    Thomas:
    Lol, I actually have tried using tobasco sauce as floor cleaner before, only as a preventative. Our dog developed a nasty habit of scooting his behind on a rug inside our door.

    We washed a few rugs, replaced a few rugs, and finally turned to tobasco. The dog walked to the rug, smelled the tobasco and sniffed for a moment (we thought he'd leave), then sat down and scooted right across it. He was one uncomfortable doggie for a few minutes.

    Unfortunately for him it took a few scoots before he learned to associate the tobasco smell with the burning ass. Now after washing the mat my wife rubs a little tobasco on the under side to keep the smell there. A rubber no-slip pad beneath the mat keeps the tobasco sauce off the floor.

    I think that means you should take your dog to the Vet. I can't remember what it is a sign of but I think it is something that can be treated.

    He might need his anal glands expressed. I thank God every time I see it mentioned on TV or the Internet that we have a breed that doesn't develop that problem.

    Agreed. Take him to the vet and have them show you how to do it. Then you can do it yourself. Or you could just pay the vet to do it if you really want to.

  • Hej (unregistered)

    Does anybody know what font that is that's used in the "DO NOT USE!!!!" drop down? I'd really like to use it in some WPF applications.

  • (cs)

    I'm willing to bet that the Tabasco Sauce was included when someone dummied up the page. Unfortunately, it made it to production.

  • Some Internet Guy (unregistered) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    James:
    grrrr:
    Thomas:
    Lol, I actually have tried using tobasco sauce as floor cleaner before, only as a preventative. Our dog developed a nasty habit of scooting his behind on a rug inside our door.

    We washed a few rugs, replaced a few rugs, and finally turned to tobasco. The dog walked to the rug, smelled the tobasco and sniffed for a moment (we thought he'd leave), then sat down and scooted right across it. He was one uncomfortable doggie for a few minutes.

    Unfortunately for him it took a few scoots before he learned to associate the tobasco smell with the burning ass. Now after washing the mat my wife rubs a little tobasco on the under side to keep the smell there. A rubber no-slip pad beneath the mat keeps the tobasco sauce off the floor.

    I think that means you should take your dog to the Vet. I can't remember what it is a sign of but I think it is something that can be treated.

    He might need his anal glands expressed. I thank God every time I see it mentioned on TV or the Internet that we have a breed that doesn't develop that problem.

    Agreed. Take him to the vet and have them show you how to do it. Then you can do it yourself. Or you could just pay the vet to do it if you really want to.

    Here's a good link about (haha, get it?) the problem: http://vetmedicine.about.com/cs/behavior/l/aa031104a.htm

  • Steve (unregistered)

    I use Tabasco to clean brass. Probably works on carpets as well.

  • jkupski (unregistered) in reply to Some Internet Guy
    Some Internet Guy:
    Here's a good link about (haha, get it?) the problem: http://vetmedicine.about.com/cs/behavior/l/aa031104a.htm

    Here's a better one:

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/10/22

  • bramster (unregistered) in reply to grrrr
    grrrr:
    Thomas:
    Lol, I actually have tried using tobasco sauce as floor cleaner before, only as a preventative. Our dog developed a nasty habit of scooting his behind on a rug inside our door.

    We washed a few rugs, replaced a few rugs, and finally turned to tobasco. The dog walked to the rug, smelled the tobasco and sniffed for a moment (we thought he'd leave), then sat down and scooted right across it. He was one uncomfortable doggie for a few minutes.

    Unfortunately for him it took a few scoots before he learned to associate the tobasco smell with the burning ass. Now after washing the mat my wife rubs a little tobasco on the under side to keep the smell there. A rubber no-slip pad beneath the mat keeps the tobasco sauce off the floor.

    I think that means you should take your dog to the Vet. I can't remember what it is a sign of but I think it is something that can be treated.

    Worms

  • incoherent (unregistered)
    wtf?:
    Number two isn't a WTF because my sister recently had a bad break up with her bf...

    That's the real WTF!

    The real WTF is that that comment's been deleted already. Why can't we have nice things?

    CAPTCHA: gotcha? as in, grandparent got his sister?

  • (cs) in reply to chikinpotpi
    chikinpotpi:
    my dog scooted for a while, then his butt exploded.... some kind of swolen gland Now he has two butt holes and we have to milk his ass once a week

    Sad times...

    Reading that this late on a Friday afternoon, I think my best course of action is to close the shop and just go home. Thank you for...that, whatever that was.

  • blunden (unregistered) in reply to jkupski
    jkupski:
    Here's a better one:

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/10/22

    I thought about the same thing when I read it. :D

  • ! (unregistered)

    I love too how the third one asks you to choose only one answer when it uses radio buttons.

  • Jen Larkin (unregistered)

    Oh please, God, don't let number three be an Oreck webpage.

    /me checks resume. Oreck.com, check. Tabasco.com, check. Company full of weirdos, check.

    Apparently some ninjas broke in and made test data. But I CAPTCHAd them. God that was lame.

  • (cs)

    Who doesn't use tabasco when munching carpets?

  • (cs)

    HOw is the do not use a wtf? Who wouldn't want a job position that didn't leave them feeling used and abused.

    I mean, shesh, really... (walking away muttering and swinging arms in the air wildly)

  • Kuba (unregistered) in reply to tmountjr
    tmountjr:
    chikinpotpi:
    my dog scooted for a while, then his butt exploded.... some kind of swolen gland Now he has two butt holes and we have to milk his ass once a week

    Sad times...

    Reading that this late on a Friday afternoon, I think my best course of action is to close the shop and just go home. Thank you for...that, whatever that was.

    Well, the OP actually meant what he said:

    [image]

    To the left of the rectum is what you milk, to the right is the second butt hole. LOL.

  • (cs)

    At least they knew to use McIlhenny's. Anything else is just a pale wannabee.

  • Anonymouse (unregistered) in reply to Raedwald
    Raedwald:
    The DO NOT USE entries must be for QA positions.
    ++, best comment amongst all this dog gland... stuff....
  • (cs) in reply to Hej
    Hej:
    I'd really like to use it in some WPF applications.

    WPF or WTF application? :)

  • George Nacht (unregistered)

    Cleaning carpets with tabasco? Personally, I do not keep my pets in my car. Tabasco does not agree with chrome...

  • Tekkaman (unregistered)

    You no visit dis page!

  • billswift (unregistered) in reply to valerion

    "It's barely worthy of mention on Engrish.com"

    I've seen weird language like this before and have been curious. It's one thing to buy cheap junk with poor docs, but who in their right mind would buy a computer with sloppy translations/copyediting like this?

  • (cs) in reply to Cowbert
    Cowbert:
    JLR:
    ASUS, Gigabyte, Lite-On, etcetera. The products themselves are all good, but the support software and websites are always buggy and filled with horrible Engrish.

    Exactly. I mean what do you expect? They're all Taiwanese companies.

    And they all have offices in the U.S. because the U.S. is their biggest market. There's really no excuse for the horrible Engrish.

  • Nero (unregistered)

    Tabasco (unspecified) / Tabasco Pepper Sauce / None / Don't know / FILE_NOT_FOUND

  • Al (unregistered)

    The real WTF on the Do not use entries is that they did not prefix them with ZZ so they appear at the bottom of the list. ;)

    captca : dubya

  • (cs) in reply to valerion
    valerion:
    You're all idiots, that's for sure...

    That 2nd one isn't a WTF. It's barely worthy of mention on Engrish.com

    You're the idiot. It's not supposed to be a WTF. It's an Error'd post, not a WTF post.

    Learn to read before posting, will you?

  • (cs) in reply to chris
    chris:
    #2 is not a WTF. Asus is well known for horrible translations to English.

    Not you too. Again, it's not supposed to be a WTF; it's an Error'd post.

    Apparently Asus is as good at English translations as you are at reading comprehension.

  • (cs) in reply to rd
    rd:
    Troy Mclure:
    clively:
    Okay, I didn't get the carpet one...

    Seriously? Someone is taking a survey and the question is which product they use to remove stains from Carpet. You'd expect products that actually clean carpets. But you see 2 entries for Tabasco sauce.

    Get it?

    I don't get it either. If the survey is about carpet cleaning products then why are they showing Tabasco sauce?

    Ok, you two brainiacs. The survey is about carpet cleaning products, but instead shows Tabasco sauce. Since Tabasco sauce isn't a carpet cleaning product at all, that makes it an Error'd item and therefore suitable for posting here.

    Simple enough for you?

  • anonymous_coder() (unregistered) in reply to Me
    Me:
    That dog training is hilariously cruel.

    I once made the mistake of handling a sensitive area of my body shortly after chopping habaneros; I still laugh through the tears.

    The first WTF is likely from a poorly implemented database design. They probably deleted some active positions but had to keep them in the table for older entries. Unfamiliar with logical deletes, they just changed the names. Notice the increasing use of ! to keep the names unique.

    Reminds me of working fast food during high school. Guy working the drive-through got a call that some friends were coming by to moon him, so he went out to the car to get a can of mace.

    Ever seen a teenager drag his butt in the grass like a dog?

Leave a comment on “How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You?”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

« Return to Article