• Lothar (unregistered)

    Is the Standard Policy Breach Process a manual one? I smell a recursion here.

  • (cs)

    The 4th is depressing but 1-3 are really good.

    "Len, like an RJ45 connector with a broken clip, had a difficult time holding onto his connection to the world around him."

  • (cs)
    NiceYellowEgg:
    Frist! Are the comments broken? I can't believe that I'm really first..
    Yes, comments are broken. Your comment in particular. By Mandatory DWTF Standards, it should have been "FRIST PAIR OF EYES".
  • Dave (unregistered)

    In fairness, "It compresses air" is an unbelievably dumb answer to that question.

  • ANON (unregistered)

    I agree on the RJ45 clips. They suck.

    Probably they were not designed to be pulled and pluged often unlike USB.

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to Dave
    Dave:
    In fairness, "It compresses air" is an unbelievably dumb answer to that question.
    Are you suggesting it may not be an in-joke?

    From Rambo III: Hamid: What's that? Rambo: It's blue light. Hamid: What does it do? Rambo: It turns blue.

  • Guestimate (unregistered)
    NiceYellowEgg:
    Frist! Are the comments broken? I can't believe that I'm really first..
    You weren't. Len moved here and decided to remove all odd entries. That means you're actually the second one commenting ...
  • Jim the Tool (unregistered)

    I think that this comparison sucks. Seriously.

    Also, who needs testing? Any smart person should be able to write complicated software, that follows the spec, and does all that is required and more, first go. No testing needed. Smart people anticipate issues and make sure that their code works despite those issues.

    Take Discourse as an example of how to do it wrong. A smart person would have realised that there is a significant segment of the population who browse without JavaScript, for whatever reason (and there are various reasons). Smart people would also realise that JavaScript just isn't necessary to display plain text.

    Except that the developers of Discourse obviously aren't smart, and are possibly just complete dullards.

  • Jim the Tool (unregistered) in reply to Jim the Tool

    And I'm also a bit of a dullard, not capable of doing basic editing, like removing the first sentence when it isn't needed any longer, and then fixing the next paragraph so that it reads on its own...

  • (cs)
    article:
    There are no exceptions
    Wow, I wish I could work on a system that had no exceptions...
  • (cs) in reply to TGV
    TGV:
    NiceYellowEgg:
    Frist! Are the comments broken? I can't believe that I'm really first..
    Yes, comments are broken. Your comment in particular. By Mandatory DWTF Standards, it should have been "FRIST PAIR OF EYES".
    The Second Pair of Eyes, e.g. me, concurs. That is probably why the Frist comment was removed.
  • Tim (unregistered)

    normally deleting all the resx files from an asp.net project is a very sensible thing to do

  • cyborg (unregistered) in reply to nerd4sale
    nerd4sale:
    TGV:
    NiceYellowEgg:
    Frist! Are the comments broken? I can't believe that I'm really first..
    Yes, comments are broken. Your comment in particular. By Mandatory DWTF Standards, it should have been "FRIST PAIR OF EYES".
    The Second Pair of Eyes, e.g. me, concurs. That is probably why the Frist comment was removed.

    The FRIST comment didn't work so it was removed. No exceptions. If you want a FRIST comment it has to work FRIST time.

  • Dr. Eyesenbart (unregistered)

    Could one turn the Nelson eye to the Four Eyes procedure?

    captcha: ideo, "cogito ideo sum".

  • (cs)
    Article:
    It needs to be couched correctly.

    Is this a typo? Coached? Or is "couching" some nasty shit-riddled flek of business speak that I've hitherto avoided?

    Just curious.

  • (cs) in reply to Zagyg

    "Couch" also means "put into words".

  • (cs) in reply to Remy Porter

    Lawd? Lawd?! Can you dig me in this ye-ah fish?!

  • Jim (unregistered)

    The Four Eyes stuff may be badly written and depressing, but when you're making changes which could have large repercussions (such as, say, screwing up the Royal Bank of Scotland's payments processing system) it's by no means a WTF.

  • (cs) in reply to ANON
    ANON:
    I agree on the RJ45 clips. They suck.

    Probably they were not designed to be pulled and pluged often unlike USB.

    The design is fatally flawed, and we're stuck with it indefinitely.

    The clip catches and breaks often. So you put a rubber boot on it.

    Now it doesn't break, but many jacks are designed so that there isn't enough room between the corpulent boot-laden connector and the chassis to release the clip. So you have to jam a screwdriver in there, and maybe you bend the pins trying to pull it out.

  • JustSomeDudette (unregistered)

    What no, 'TRWTF is anything important in SharePoint'?

  • Valued Service (unregistered) in reply to Guestimate
    Guestimate:
    NiceYellowEgg:
    Frist! Are the comments broken? I can't believe that I'm really first..
    You weren't. Len moved here and decided to remove all odd entries. That means you're actually the second one commenting ...

    Except that we start counting at 0, so he removes all the even entries. Which means that the Frist! comment is the 1st comment, which makes it first.

  • consequat (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    article:
    There are no exceptions
    Wow, I wish I could work on a system that had no exceptions...
    "On Error Resume Next", problem solved. :-)
  • Valued Service (unregistered) in reply to Jim the Tool
    Jim the Tool:
    ...a significant segment of the population who browse without JavaScript, for whatever reason (and there are various reasons)...

    Such people will find it harder and harder to have a working internet. The web is becoming more app based and less page based. Even if executed poorly, it's still going to slowly take over with no alternatives.

  • ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL (unregistered)
    risk appetite
    Hey, guys, is it lunch time already? I'm getting hungry for some reason. I think I want some Mongolian, with baked Alaska for dessert.
  • Valued Service (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    ANON:
    I agree on the RJ45 clips. They suck.

    Probably they were not designed to be pulled and pluged often unlike USB.

    The design is fatally flawed, and we're stuck with it indefinitely.

    The clip catches and breaks often. So you put a rubber boot on it.

    Now it doesn't break, but many jacks are designed so that there isn't enough room between the corpulent boot-laden connector and the chassis to release the clip. So you have to jam a screwdriver in there, and maybe you bend the pins trying to pull it out.

    The design is logically flawed.

    The clip is there to prevent a cable from being pulled out. However, if some force were applied by accident, say a person falling into the mass of cables, now you risk damaging all of equipment rather than losing connections. You watch as the cable tugs and pulls down the whole cabinet or devices out of the cabinet. Many of the cables end up ripping at some other point and damaging the connection anyway.

    USB connections provide enough resistance to stop accidental disconnections, but give easily enough to avoid damaging equipment.

    If that's not enough resistance, we can make the resistance greater but employing the same technique.

  • Andrew (unregistered)

    My brain went into sleep mode about halfway through the four eyes stuff. What was that about, again?

  • Chelloveck (unregistered) in reply to Zagyg
    Zagyg:
    Article:
    It needs to be couched correctly.

    Is this a typo? Coached? Or is "couching" some nasty shit-riddled flek of business speak that I've hitherto avoided?

    Just curious.

    Nope, just plain ol' English.

    v. couched, couch·ing, couch·es v.tr. 1. To word in a certain manner; phrase: couched their protests in diplomatic language

    It's a perfectly cromulent word.

  • bz (unregistered)

    I was working (in the belly of the beast) on a platform upgrade project that involved refactoring about 200mb of java source porting it to a new version of the api.

    I had a colleague come and ask me a question:

    Coworker: "I have a function that doesnt compile, can I just remove this code?"

    Me: "Well, did you write any new code that does what that code used to do???"

    Coworker: "No"

    Me: "Uhh.. well what does that function do?"

    Coworker: "I dont know, but it doesnt compile anymore"

    Me: "Well.. uhh.. you cant delete it then, you need to figure out what it does and fix it so it works again"

    Coworker: "..... oh... ok.. fine..."

  • OldCoder (unregistered) in reply to Jim the Tool
    Jim the Tool:
    I think that this comparison sucks. Seriously.

    Also, who needs testing? Any smart person should be able to write complicated software, that follows the spec, and does all that is required and more, first go. No testing needed. Smart people anticipate issues and make sure that their code works despite those issues.

    Take Discourse as an example of how to do it wrong. A smart person would have realised that there is a significant segment of the population who browse without JavaScript, for whatever reason (and there are various reasons). Smart people would also realise that JavaScript just isn't necessary to display plain text.

    Except that the developers of Discourse obviously aren't smart, and are possibly just complete dullards.

    What's Javascript?

  • Chelloveck (unregistered) in reply to Andrew
    Andrew:
    My brain went into sleep mode about halfway through the four eyes stuff. What was that about, again?

    I think it was about optometry. Because between the LARGE PRINT text in the screen shots and normal-size article text it looked like an eye exam.

  • Chelloveck (unregistered) in reply to Jim the Tool
    Jim the Tool:
    Take Discourse as an example of how to do it wrong. A smart person would have realised that there is a significant segment of the population who browse without JavaScript, for whatever reason (and there are various reasons).

    No, I think it's pretty clear that the web development community as a whole has decided that the segment of the population who choose not to use JavaScript is insignificant, no matter how numerous.

  • (cs)

    This of course leads to

    POLICY BREACH:

    After John Doe performed a maintenance task, I found out he only has vision in one eye, and is therefore unqualified to be the first "pair" of eyes. As he did not inform me of this until afterwards, this shows intentional disregard for procedures and termination is recommended.

    Richard Kopf III, VP

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Dave
    Dave:
    In fairness, "It compresses air" is an unbelievably dumb answer to that question.

    Does Build Master support air compressors?

  • Jeff Grigg (unregistered)

    We used to have people performing the processes. But due to budget cutbacks, we've reduced that to only eyes.

    So if I put on my glasses, I don't need another person there, to be compliant with policy, do I? ;->

    Since we only need eyes now, we can buy them bulk, off-the-shelf: http://www.advancedartificialeyes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Stock-Prosthetic-Eye-case-604x339.jpg

  • (cs) in reply to Chelloveck
    Chelloveck:
    Zagyg:
    Article:
    It needs to be couched correctly.

    Is this a typo? Coached? Or is "couching" some nasty shit-riddled flek of business speak that I've hitherto avoided?

    Just curious.

    Nope, just plain ol' English.

    v. couched, couch·ing, couch·es v.tr. 1. To word in a certain manner; phrase: couched their protests in diplomatic language

    It's a perfectly cromulent word.

    Bugger me so it is! Thanks.

    Funny thing is I did check quickly on dictionary.com first but amongst all the ads & fluff (and daftness on my part of course) I missed the verb definitions further down the page.

    Goal for this week: use "Couch" in conversation in this context at least twice :)

  • foo AKA fooo (unregistered) in reply to ANON
    ANON:
    I agree on the RJ45 clips. They suck.

    Probably they were not designed to be pulled and pluged often unlike USB.

    No, they were designed for long lasting, 24/7 connections, unlike USB.

  • My Name Is Missing (unregistered)

    Groucho Marx: Now pay particular attention to this first clause, because it's most important. There's the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part. How do you like that, that's pretty neat eh?

    Chico Marx: No, that's no good.

    Groucho Marx: What's the matter with it?

    Chico Marx: I don't know, let's hear it again.

    Groucho Marx: So the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part.

    Chico Marx: Well it sounds a little better this time.

    Groucho Marx: Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?

    Chico Marx: Just the first part.

    Groucho Marx: What do you mean, the party of the first part?

    Chico Marx: No, the first part of the party, of the first part.

    Groucho Marx: All right. It says the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part, shall be known in this contract - look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this, we'll take it right out, eh?

    Chico Marx: Yes, it's too long anyhow. Now what have we got left?

    Groucho Marx: Well I've got about a foot and a half. Now what's the matter?

    Chico Marx: I don't like the second party either.

    Groucho Marx: Well, you should have come to the first party, we didn't get home till around four in the morning. I was blind for three days.

    Chico Marx: Hey look, why can't the first part of the second party be the second part of the first party, then you'll get something.

    Groucho Marx: Well look, rather than go through all that again, what do you say?

    Chico Marx: Fine.

    Groucho Marx: Now I've got something here you're bound to like, you'll be crazy about it.

    Chico Marx: No, I don't like it.

    Groucho Marx: You don't like what?

    Chico Marx: Whatever it is, I don't like it.

    Groucho Marx: Well don't let's break up an old friendship over a thing like that. Ready?

    Chico Marx: OK. Now the next part I don't think you're going to like.

    Groucho Marx: Well your word's good enough for me. Now then, is my word good enough for you?

    Chico Marx: I should say not.

    Groucho Marx: Well I'll take out two more clauses. Now the party of the eighth part --

    Chico Marx: No, that's no good, no.

    Groucho Marx: The party of the ninth part --

    Chico Marx: No, that's no good too. Hey, how is it my contract is skinnier than yours?

    Groucho Marx: Well, I don't know, you must have been out on a tail last night. But anyhow, we're all set now, are we? Now just you put your name right down there, then the deal is legal.

    Chico Marx: I forgot to tell you, I can't write.

    Groucho Marx: Well that's all right, there's no ink in the pen anyhow. But listen, it's a contract isn't it? We've got a contract, no matter how small it is.

    Chico Marx: Oh sure. You bet. Hey wait, wait. What does this say here, this thing here?

    Groucho Marx: Oh that? Oh that's the usual clause, that's in every contract. That just says, it says, 'If any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified.'

    Chico Marx: Well, I don't know.

    Groucho Marx: It's all right, that's in every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause.

    Chico Marx: You can't fool me, there ain't no sanity clause

  • (cs) in reply to Sir Twist
    Sir Twist:
    This of course leads to

    POLICY BREACH:

    After John Doe performed a maintenance task, I found out he only has vision in one eye, and is therefore unqualified to be the first "pair" of eyes. As he did not inform me of this until afterwards, this shows intentional disregard for procedures and termination is recommended.

    Richard Kopf III, VP

    Hey, I demand there be a "Three Eyes" policy! Signed, Leela

  • Your Name (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    article:
    There are no exceptions
    Wow, I wish I could work on a system that had no exceptions...

    Easy, just compile with the -fno-exceptions flag.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Andrew
    Andrew:
    My brain went into sleep mode about halfway through the four eyes stuff. What was that about, again?
    It looked like an overly formal document describing a typical work process: minion 1 doing the work, minion 2 periodically comes by to check, various overlords responsible for ensuring that minions 1 & 2 know how work should be performed (and how it should be checked) and appointing the correct minions for the job. [image]
  • gnasher729 (unregistered) in reply to Jeff Grigg
    Jeff Grigg:
    We used to have *people* performing the processes. But due to budget cutbacks, we've reduced that to only eyes.

    I'll recommend the short story "The Eyes Have It" by Philipp K. Dick.

  • Dominic (unregistered)

    Hey Reg, the program is called "Explorer"

  • Dominic (unregistered) in reply to Dominic

    Or Tom, whoever, I don't spend a lot of time on WTF details.

  • (cs) in reply to Dave
    Dave:
    In fairness, "It compresses air" is an unbelievably dumb answer to that question.

    Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer.

    If you didn't put any thought into your query, why should I put any into my response?

  • (cs) in reply to Tim
    Tim:
    normally deleting all the resx files from an asp.net project is a very sensible thing to do

    These days, yeah. I do not really miss .NET 1.1.

  • Dominic (unregistered)

    Is there any other news site on the web that switches its comment system from day to day? Any at all?

    TDWTF comments are the biggest WTF ever.

  • bene (unregistered) in reply to Dominic
    Dominic:
    Is there any other news site on the web that switches its comment system from day to day? Any at all?

    TDWTF comments are the biggest WTF ever.

    You considering this place a "news site" might be an even bigger WTF, though. ;-)

  • swschrad (unregistered)

    arrrr, matey, a harpoon now for my pretty object...

  • (cs) in reply to Dominic
    Dominic:
    Is there any other news site on the web that switches its comment system from day to day? Any at all?

    TDWTF comments are the biggest WTF ever.

    In a pilot/transition phase? Probably.

  • (cs) in reply to Valued Service
    Valued Service:
    Jim the Tool:
    ...a significant segment of the population who browse without JavaScript, for whatever reason (and there are various reasons)...

    Such people will find it harder and harder to have a working internet. The web is becoming more app based and less page based. Even if executed poorly, it's still going to slowly take over with no alternatives.

    Oh, I think it is great. There are a lot of JavaScript attacks, and they can not touch me with JavaScript disabled. That way, it is easy for me to have a working Internet.

    I love NoScript.

    Sincerely,

    Gene Wirchenko

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