• jvanderb (cs)

    That application needs at least half a dozen more buttons on it to be truly enterprisey.

  • a. geek (unregistered)

    I get up, UP! and nothing gets me down! (except of course, the lack of error handling, weird data types and general pointlessness of the program!)

    You just gotta rooollll with the exceptions, to get to what's real (or was that supposed to be int? boolean? anyone?)

  • PedanticCurmudgeon (cs)

    Who is Eddie and why should we care whether or not he likes unicorns?

  • Machtyn (unregistered) in reply to a. geek
    a. geek:
    I get up, UP! and nothing gets me down! (except of course, the lack of error handling, weird data types and general pointlessness of the program!)

    You just gotta rooollll with the exceptions, to get to what's real (or was that supposed to be int? boolean? anyone?)

    3 state boolean!

  • Ed (unregistered)

    No cornify. No amusing comments. Random spans with a songtitle class that don't do anything.

    Remy, you disappoint!

    Also, this WTF was. That's about it.

  • Journey (unregistered)

    A bookmarklet for today:

    javascript:(function(){var%20songs=document.getElementsByClassName("songtitle");for(i=0;i<songs.length;i++){songs[i].innerHTML="&#9835"+(songs[i].innerHTML)+"&#9835";songs[i].style.color="red";songs[i].style.fontStyle="italic";}})()</pre>
    
  • airdrik (unregistered) in reply to Ed
    Ed:
    No cornify. No amusing comments. Random spans with a songtitle class that don't do anything.

    Remy, you disappoint!

    I agree. I can do without the cornify (which apparently was because Eddie doesn't like unicorns), but at least with all of those songtitles, do something more with them like make it open the corresponding wikipedia page if you "accidentally" clicked on one.

  • He who is not to be named (aka zunesis) (unregistered) in reply to a. geek
    a. geek:
    I get up, UP! and nothing gets me down!
    I'm making this my new theme song.
  • Rawr (unregistered)

    It's pretty sad that I'm 23 and I'm The One that gets the references. Fools.

  • Remy Porter (cs)

    Someone ahem caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.

  • He who is not to be named (aka zunesis) (unregistered) in reply to Rawr
    Rawr:
    It's pretty sad that I'm 23 and I'm The One that gets the references. Fools.
    A young fella, huh? So, uh.... what's up?
  • C-Octothorpe (cs) in reply to Remy Porter
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    Who, the nazis?
  • frits (cs)
    The Article:
    "Primary Key Not Found!" messages could mean that another user had deleted the record you were viewing, or it meant the remote server was taking too long to respond.
    It also could mean that table name references got crisscrossed, or simply that the user was wearing their shirt backwards.
  • hoodaticus (cs) in reply to jvanderb
    jvanderb:
    That application needs at least half a dozen more buttons on it to be truly enterprisey.
    This. When you have more than half a dozen buttons on a screen, you're doing it wrong. This includes everything Microsoft has ever built, DOS and MS-Bob excluded.
  • imgx64 (unregistered)

    TRWTF is agile development. The hat thing is considered a best practice in Scrum.

  • Sock Puppet #5 (unregistered)

    It's times like this that leave the plebes longing for a paper system.

  • hoodaticus (cs) in reply to Remy Porter
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    It's okay, we'll find out who it was who ethnically cleansed all the gay unicorns from this site, and then Amnesty International will be after you.
  • Sock Puppet #5 (unregistered) in reply to imgx64
    imgx64:
    TRWTF is agile development. The hat thing is considered a best practice in Scrum.
    Only when items can't be prioritized and development is gridlocked. But heck, that's not a agile problem: that's how managers have done it for decades.
  • sreagsgio (unregistered)

    Heh, buggier than a swamp in Panama. I'll have to remember that one.

  • Sock Puppet #5 (unregistered) in reply to hoodaticus
    hoodaticus:
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    It's okay, we'll find out who it was who ethnically cleansed all the gay unicorns from this site, and then Amnesty International will be after you.
    But for now, LGBT has been put on notice for bringing them back.
  • frits (cs) in reply to hoodaticus
    hoodaticus:
    jvanderb:
    That application needs at least half a dozen more buttons on it to be truly enterprisey.
    This. When you have more than half a dozen buttons on a screen, you're doing it wrong. This includes everything Microsoft has ever built, DOS and MS-Bob excluded.
    That's right. Everyone knows after half a dozen buttons you shove all other functions (no matter how useful) into a menu strip.

    At least that's what I do.

  • Brofist me, Bro! (unregistered) in reply to hoodaticus
    hoodaticus:
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    It's okay, we'll find out who it was who ethnically cleansed all the gay unicorns from this site, and then Amnesty International will be after you.
    1. "gay unicorns" is redundant 2. I think it's impractical to figure out who did it as everyone is equally very motivated. 3. It's not okay for the unicorns! 4. "gay" is not an ethnicity. 5. Amnesty International can't be after anyone cause they can just call Amnesty International. 6. Since when have unicorns been associated with easter? 7. Who's "*ahem*"? If he didn't want them there, he'll just remove them again, won't he? 8. If they're back, someone didn't do a very good job of cleansing them. 9. Your not two brite, are ewe?
  • dohpaz42 (cs) in reply to PedanticCurmudgeon
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    Who is Eddie and why should we care whether or not he likes unicorns?

    I agree. If he doesn't want to get cornified, then he shouldn't click on the trigger. As an aside, I do like the idea of different "tricks" for Remy's posts. It keeps it fresh; but I would hope the comments get whittier as they were before (just my one cent -- hey, it's a recession!).

  • Sock Puppet #5 (unregistered) in reply to Brofist me, Bro!
    Brofist me:
    hoodaticus:
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    It's okay, we'll find out who it was who ethnically cleansed all the gay unicorns from this site, and then Amnesty International will be after you.
    1. "gay unicorns" is redundant 2. I think it's impractical to figure out who did it as everyone is equally very motivated. 3. It's not okay for the unicorns! 4. "gay" is not an ethnicity. 5. Amnesty International can't be after anyone cause they can just call Amnesty International. 6. Since when have unicorns been associated with easter? 7. Who's "*ahem*"? If he didn't want them there, he'll just remove them again, won't he? 8. If they're back, someone didn't do a very good job of cleansing them. 9. Your not two brite, are ewe?
    Brofisted! You're just talking about a fist bump, correct?
  • Wonk (unregistered)

    I for one welcome our new unicorn overlords.

  • mott555 (cs) in reply to Rawr
    Rawr:
    It's pretty sad that I'm 23 and I'm The One that gets the references. Fools.

    Same here. I found the article more amusing for all the embedded song names than for the actual content.

  • boog (cs)
    ...we're going to take all the ideas we get from customers, put them on slips of paper, and draw them out of a hat.
    Surprisingly enough, that's the same way Tamy's employer selected JUMP over competing products.
  • ParkinT (cs)

    There is a button labeled: "Assign File Number (Number) to File Number (Text) for all matters with blank File Number (Text)" WTF does that mean?!!!

    Does the "Update All Matter Status" button tap into Quantum Physics?

  • easyk (unregistered)

    Eddie Van Halen doesn't like unicorns?

  • jrh (unregistered)

    For those who hadn't noticed a click on "Primary Key Not Found!" highlights all of the song titles.

  • Labias and Genitles, it's ZUNESIS!!! (unregistered) in reply to dohpaz42
    dohpaz42:
    I agree. If he doesn't want to get cornified, then he shouldn't walk around with his pockets inside out, it's the sign!
    FTFY
  • yoda (unregistered) in reply to jrh

    And if you turn up the volume to max, you can hear Satan singing.

  • Sock Puppet #5 (unregistered)
    Remy:
    The application would cough up dialog boxes that revealed the real sounce of all the problems.
    I'm guessing the word here is seance: dialogs were appearing like unexpected phantoms?
  • daily (cs)

    They probably also excluded duplicate request before putting them in the hat. After all, if you give higher chance to features requested by lots of customers, it's not fair.

  • Sock Puppet #5 (unregistered)
    TFC:
    Remy's Law of Software: If the product is, in any way, described as an "enterprise" product, it is a giant piece of garbage.
    What about the ones without a bloody A B C D or E?

    /obscure?

  • Matt Westwood (cs)
  • Matt Westwood (cs) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    Who, the nazis?
    I read this as a reference to Poltergeist 2.
  • method1 (cs)

    It looks like something designed & implemented in 1983 with a new UI stuck on in the 90's. Seems that the programmers were strangers to the idea of transactions & locking. Is VisualFoxPro like Access? I've never used it, but their implementation sounds like the sort of dodgy ISAM db that gets corrupted & you have to manually re-key it periodically & it takes ages. This sort of story is really depressing - the shit was on version fucking ten! How much cash have those tossers trousered for getting it wrong over & over? Bastards.

  • Hortical (unregistered) in reply to Matt Westwood
    Matt Westwood:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    Who, the nazis?
    I read this as a reference to Poltergeist 2.
    How do the Poltergeists stack up to the Exorcist? If they're even half as funny, I'm watching them this weekend.
  • Wladimir Palant (unregistered) in reply to Remy Porter
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    Can someone also bring back the HTML comments in the RSS feed?
  • . (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • hoodaticus (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    hoodaticus:
    jvanderb:
    That application needs at least half a dozen more buttons on it to be truly enterprisey.
    This. When you have more than half a dozen buttons on a screen, you're doing it wrong. This includes everything Microsoft has ever built, DOS and MS-Bob excluded.
    That's right. Everyone knows after half a dozen buttons you shove all other functions (no matter how useful) into a menu strip.

    At least that's what I do.

    I try to make things more context-sensitive. Right-clicking & StatusStrip buttons FTW. It looks like a lot of those buttons in the OP should be somewhere else entirely, like, closer to the data they act upon.

  • Labias and Gentialia, it's ZUNESIS!!! (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • hoodaticus (cs) in reply to method1
    method1:
    It looks like something designed & implemented in 1983 with a new UI stuck on in the 90's. Seems that the programmers were strangers to the idea of transactions & locking. Is VisualFoxPro like Access? I've never used it, but their implementation sounds like the sort of dodgy ISAM db that gets corrupted & you have to manually re-key it periodically & it takes ages. This sort of story is really depressing - the shit was on version fucking ten! How much cash have those tossers trousered for getting it wrong over & over? Bastards.
    My boss says FoxPro is like something called Clipper, but I refuse to touch our FoxPro code base, and I'm not old enough to know what Clipper is.
  • flop (cs) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    Who, the nazis?
    No, the nazis will be back on April 4th ... see the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUIvWPZMwHY

    And why does someone called Akismet say that the above is Spam?

  • Your Name (unregistered)
    <script type="text/javascript"> $(document).ready(function() { $("#eddie").click(function() { $(".songtitle").css("font-weight", "bold"); $(".songtitle").css("font-size", "larger"); }); </script>

    what

  • Matt Westwood (cs) in reply to Hortical
    Hortical:
    Matt Westwood:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Remy Porter:
    Someone *ahem* caused the easter eggs to go away. They're back.
    Who, the nazis?
    I read this as a reference to Poltergeist 2.
    How do the Poltergeists stack up to the Exorcist? If they're even half as funny, I'm watching them this weekend.
    Highly entertaining, well worth watching. Specially 2, which I thought was best. YMMV. Look out for the barfing up of the 3-foot-long tequila worm.
  • Mornedhel (unregistered) in reply to Sock Puppet #5

    It is...it is green.

  • Jerry (unregistered)

    My fiancee works for a big law firm. They wrote their own software (and it is actually not bad). If JUMP is representative of the available COTS legal software, it would certainly explain why they did that.

  • Mornedhel (unregistered) in reply to Sock Puppet #5
    Sock Puppet #5:
    TFC:
    Remy's Law of Software: If the product is, in any way, described as an "enterprise" product, it is a giant piece of garbage.
    What about the ones without a bloody A B C D or E?

    /obscure?

    It appears to be...green.

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