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Admin
Comment(sdfadsf+sdfsadf)
Admin
ment + cat + Obf + Com + used
Admin
We once had an employee leave for another company and received a call on Monday morning 9:10 am asking if he could come back, that is ten minutes after he started work at the new company. He then stayed with us for many years. Must have had a similar experience.
This is one WTF that leaves me otherwise speechless.
Admin
Come on! Weren't this your first job? You should hang in there at least for a year until you can apply for a job which requires real experience on the field. At least they gave you the chance to work in the field and post in TDWTF.
Admin
You can either work in security or work in a position where "security" is in the title. Not both.
See also the Transportation Security Administration, which has nothing to do with transportation or security. Or even administration.
Admin
I can only imagine what kind of horrors he encountered that would make him quit within 10 minutes, barring something unethical like he showed up for work and was told oh sorry, we really don't have the budget to hire you after all. Sorry about that.
I've left jobs in a week after seeing a slew of WTFs, and once I left on lunch my second day and never came back because things were so bad and everyone else in the office were like zombies typing away, but 10 minutes? Wow.
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Happens more often than you'd believe. I can think of at least 5 people I've worked with who have gone away and come back in short order.
Me, I've never actually gone back to the previous company, but I've got on the phone to the recruiter within the first week. I was lined up with a sweet number too, that first call, offering twice the money and considerably more responsibility - then I made the mistake of explaining that I'd just started in a job I wasn't a good fit for. And equally unfortunately it turned out that the person interviewing me was a personal friend of the owner of the company I was blowing out.
It in fact took me 4 months to get out of there and into the next port of call.
Admin
I once started at a company and within a few days realized that things were, well, a bit different there. I started to pass my resumee around after 15 Months, but in the end, since I didn't want to leave town at the time, it took me six years to get out.
Admin
But seriously, I once had the opposite experience.
I took a job at a place where they said during the interview that they were looking for someone to come in, get familiar with stuff, then step up into a manager role. Since I was at that point in my career, it sounded interesting. After I got there I learned that it was basically a feudal idiocracy where most everyone spent the bulk of their energy politicing, backstabbing, undermining, and yes once there was even a murder.
Yeah I left.
It had become apparent the "promotion to manager" was just a lure anyhow. And I had an offer for a real manager job, not in the vague distant future, but starting from day one.
I'd been at my new job about 3 days before the old place called and begged me to come back. "The system crashed and nobody can get it started. And we can probably put you in that manager slot now. But we need you back today!"
I informed them that basic professionalism would require me to give at least four weeks notice to my new employer, but I wasn't really interested in returning anyway.
"Four weeks! Are you crazy? You only gave us two!"
"But I wasn't in a management position with you. I am now."
Admin
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Why not obsqwerty the functions as well? You could even write an interpreter in Access and use your own obsqerty language. While not really a security type job, this job provides the most fun for a developer. Imagine a complete code base filled with this. If you played your cards right you could come back as a consultant for quadruple.
Admin
I think it is common courtesy to give the recruiter a headstart before coming after him or her with a LART.
Admin
OMG, we're also using code obfuscation here (Java), but we're not working directly on the obfuscated stuff...
Admin
I had a friend who started her first graduate job as a museum curator, only to discover that her duties would include washing the floor. That didn't last very long.
Admin
Exactly. What graduate can perform an adequate task of washing a floor? None that I've encountered. So she was fired after a week.
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The owner of a company I once worked for called me the day after he fired me, asking if I would come back as a contractor until he filled the position. The guy had screamed at me in the middle of a restaurant the night before and told me to "get the hell out." It wasn't his first screaming fit, but it was the first in a public place.
Lesson learned: when the previous guy in your position walks out without lining up another job, it's probably a good sign that you should steer clear.
Admin
Admin
An 'A' for todays article title!
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Admin
You are all reading the comments. The real software is written in whitespace.
Admin
At my first computer related job, I had worked my way up from tending a numerically controlled typesetting machine to System Manager of a PDP-11/70 system (at the time, that was a big deal). The company decided to cut costs by laying off all the machine tenders and telling me I could do both jobs at the same salary. I had no further interest in feeding tapes into readers, swapping cards in dedicated systems and cleaning out film processors, so I elected to move on to another company as a PDP System Manager. This caused no small amount of rancor at the old company, where "traitor" was the kindest thing I was called. Two weeks later, they called begging me to come back as a consultant and get the typesetting machines running again. I replied that I would be glad to, but I would require $1000.00 per hour cash in hand upfront to work on these old machines. They told me, this was madness. I replied, Exactly so and hung up the phone.
Admin
Admin
15 Months?!?
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.
Admin
Admin
Oh boy did I mis-read that one. At first I had a totally different picture of how you obtained your position.
Admin
Yes it would be in their best interest. If they don't help you, you'll call another recruiter who'll be eager to do so, and they lose their investment, plus lose the opportunity for you to return in 3-5 years. If they do help you, they'll find you another position and get the credit from the new job.
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My turn was one Monday morning after taking my wife and daughter up the coast for the weekend. He ran into a problem that Friday night and emailed me. I didn't get the email until Monday morning - about five minutes before being called into his office - which was about thirty minutes before I called a buddy from two jobs prior.
The day I (re)started my new (old?) job, I got a call from the linux distro asking me to take a contracting position.
Admin
So, uh, you can just do something like
And yet, it's still better than Microsoft's take on VBA security. Security through pity.
Admin
Both of which are also interpreted languages ;)
You'd need to write a program that translates it to C, run it through gcc with heavy compiler optimization set, and THEN decompile and analyse.
Or perhaps if you find an existing C interpreter you could hardcode the input rather than translating the whole thing...I don't know enough about compiler optimization to know if that would work; my guess is probably not though...
Admin
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Or in pseudocode: bfsrc = '+++---->>>'; // need to use some real Brainfuck here fieldname = runbf(bfsrc) update(fieldname, now);
Problem is, you can still put the literal Brainfuck code into a standalone Brainfuck interpreter to get the fieldname...
Ok, not yet enterprisey enough :-(
Admin
Admin
Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.
Admin
With a "you think you've got it bad story," we are certain to see the Monty Python skit theme develop. And we have.
As such, let me extra irritating. www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGAR75rgykM
Admin
I think I see a pattern here.
Take previous "had it bad story".
Shrink size of living quarters. Decrease sanitation of environment. Decrease health, sanitation, environment, and increase working hours and shame of work conditions. Increase brutality of father's abuse. Increase duration of work pay by a factor of larger scale of time measurement, and decrease pay.
We used to have to live in an atom every day, get up and rearrange the sub-atomic particles so that a hole would open so we could leave for work. On our way out, we'd have to pass through the membrane of a tumor cell, exposing ourselves to radiation therapy in a dying patient at a dirty old hospital. We'd then work on cleaning the hospital's patients in the E.R. ward with our own spit. When we made it home, our father would crush us in a black hole. We did all this for a piece of used toilet paper for dinner.
Admin
Oh you fortunate kids. I was once a camera man for Rosie O'Donnell; I had to film her every day.
Admin
I work in healthcare and the passwords for our radiation treatment machines are a algorithmic substitution. Essentially if you know one you know them all because of the pattern in substitutions. Some how this is seen as better than just having them all use the same password in the first place. These are otherwise fairly locked down machines so they aren't domain joined and it isn't like it is needed to manage user permissions on the corporate level or anything. Just ... dumb ... passwords. Vendors also use the same password at all sites for administration and if you work at a reasonably high level with the equipment you need the passwords to get the machine to do what you want so ... pretty much every technician in the world can hack your $3M treatment machine and make it kill patients if they wanted too. Perfect.
Admin
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDcbO2bRxhg
Probably the best example I've seen.
Admin
I wonder what the longevity is of people that are promoted to managers. I think that it's often a red flag. I've seen it happen often, and it's even happened to me once, where that is used as a substitution for increase in pay. I received more reponsibility with only a few more bucks in my pocket. Awesome.
The icing on the cake was that the hiring for the people beneath me was done with very little of my input. The PHB would hire people based on his choices.
When he re-hired a guy that was pretty much the cause for every single problem in our codebase without my input, that was when I walked out the door. Although it helped that I already had another job lined up...
Admin
Damn! That's just wrong.
I think you win.