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Admin
I've got one and this is a true story. I used to work for a ISP as well and I got this one call from a panicked gentleman. He said, "Please help me clear out all of my web history...my wife is on her way home...please!!!" Of course, being the helpful tech I helped him with his issue. He was very grateful to have deleted all those porn sites.
Admin
Wow. Looking for free porn.
The most common problem at my last job was with peoples mailboxes filling up past the 10MB limit. There were some people that called me on a 2-3 times a month to fix thier email. Most let me add a rule to auto move the messages in outlook to a local pst, but some felt they were computer experts and wouldn't hear of it. I tell you sales/marketing people are NOT computer experts, no matter how much they say they are. (Of course this isn't true 100% of the time).
Admin
The first story is sadly very common. They mentioned on NPR a few weeks ago that when somebody calls AOL to ask about getting connected, they are instructed to ask first "Do you have a computer?" Apparently numerous people have received AOL CDs and put them in their CD players or DVD players trying to connect to the Internet.
Admin
I bet you suggested some URLs really [;)]
Admin
For more stories like this, check out TechTales.
Admin
It's no wonder AOL users have the reputation that they do
Admin
<FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #efefef">User: My computers running to slow</FONT>
<FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #efefef">Tech: Ok, first let's try closing all of your open windows</FONT>
<FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #efefef">User: ok, hang on</FONT>
<FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #efefef">---5 minutes later---</FONT>
<FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #efefef">User: Ok, all my windows are shut, now what?</FONT>
Admin
If AOL was real smart, they'd put even some music on that free CD so people can actually listen to it. [:)]
Admin
Or better yet... a normal music CD track telling them to take the cd out of their stereo and put it in the computer. [:P]
Admin
Come on now, who among us has not mistaken the CD-ROM drive for a cup holder or the mouse for a foot pedal? Admit it, you once looked for the "Any" key on your keyboard, or folded a 5.25 disk in half so it would fit into a 3.5 drive.
Admin
I stumbled across this site a few years back. It has som absolutely hilarious stuff on it.
http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/
Admin
Reminded me of a recent entry on another site:
http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=44687
Basically, he is complaining that he can no longer see which servers are on the network once he unplugs his network connection.[:S]
Admin
Wow seriously, this sounds so silly I actually have a hard time believing it is true. I mean, people calling their ISP for free porn? That is really, really sad :P
Admin
^---- and I should remember to log in first :)
Admin
http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000229&mode=classic
Admin
I'm Matt Ranlett (can't be bothered to log in) and I can state with absolute certainty that it did happen. I'd put my hand on a stack of bibles and swear to it. This was seven years ago, but there were other people in the room who could vouch that I told them what the caller wanted. We all laughed a lot.
I had a lot of fun working that tech support job.
Admin
<FONT size=2>*crickets chirp*</FONT>
Admin
What type of music would you recommend?
Admin
I find it fascinating how certain people can't be satisfied with just looking at the pictures. They have to try out the whole wallpaper thing.
Admin
or http://www.techcomedy.com/
Admin
huh-huh-huh...he said "porn".
Admin
I used to do house calls for an ISP to setup customers, and installed netscape on..I think a Mac Plus with the little black and white screen for the guy, showed him he could hilight the text when it was black on black so he could at least read it when the text turned white.
He was quite happy, and the first thing he asked was how to find the 'erotica' that he heard so much about on the internet.
Admin
I never worked for an ISP, but have still have some interesting stories from working as a tech. One guy came to us complaining because his computer wasn't displaying the porn in his preferred program... I refused to even try to fix that "problem."
Admin
Looks like he wanted to list all SQL server instances, including the local ones (for example the MSDE ones). The problem is that, apparently, if you unplug the network cable, it won't bother to look for the local ones either.
Admin
Did someone say "porn"? [:O]
Admin
I wish they used CD-RWs so they could be re-used like the old AOL floppies could be back in the day.
Admin
AOL floppies? What version was that? 1.0 beta? LOL
Admin
I used to work in a computer store back in the dial up days (no broadband). My first computer sale was to a woman teaching computer classes at a university. She told me she was an expert, and wouldn't need any help.
A few hours later, the call came. It turned out she didn't know she actually needed to plug in her phone line for the modem to work.
Admin
Yep. Someone said "porn".
I see it got your attention. Congratulations.
Admin
I find threads that use the word "porn" very intriguing. I am more likely to browse the forums that use the word..."porn".
Sometimes it makes me blush when I read some of the posts, but overall it is a fun experience.
Admin
Hi,
we had once an emergency call around midnight. A production planning server in a huge plant was down. There was not a single byte free on the hard disk.
The night shift had used the only available computer with internet access to go surfing. And he saved all those fascinating pictures he found locally...
That was fun when the manager in charge accused us the next day for instable software and we handed him the CD with the data back up of naked women.
By the way, our database team insisted on analyzing the back up CD for security reasons ...
Have a nice a day!
Admin
I'm not sure who I heard this from, and I'm not totally sure it's true, but I found it funny [:)]
Support: Hello, how can I help
Customer: er, yes. My computer's not working
Support: In what way?
Customer: It wont switch on
Support: Ok, well, can you look behind the computer and see if the power cable has come out?
Customer: I can't see
Support: Why not?
Customer: Because all the lights are out
Support: ....
Admin
You know the old Dreamcast GD-ROMS used to do just that, the first track was a CDA format voice track - something along the lines of "This is a data disc is for the Dreamcast games system playing on stereo equipment may cause irrepairable damage please stop and remove this disc immediately". It then repeated in several languages.
How do I know? oh.... [:D]
Admin
[6][:D]
Admin
Here's my favourite way to make people lose a day's productivity :)
Computer Stupidity:
http://rinkworks.com/stupid/
Admin
<FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #efefef">At our company, we were having ISP problems and could not get internet acces, nor could we send/receive internet mail. We could, however send internal mail (exchange). We sent an email internally to the company users saying that internet was down and email to/from people outside of our company wasn't working. The sysadmin box then started getting badmail notifications like this:</FONT>
<FONT face="Courier New">From: userATourcompanyDOTcom
To: userAT<FONT color=#ff0000>another</FONT>companyDOTcom
Subj: internet down</FONT>
<FONT face="Courier New">John,</FONT>
<FONT face="Courier New">Our internet access is down, and we can't send or receive email. I'll let you know when it's working again</FONT>
Admin
Have you noticed that with every "porn found on the computer" story there's always mass amounts of porn found? It's never one or two pictures, or a single wallpaper. It's usually a GB or so of pictures. I think that's an interesting observation and a comment on our society.
</FONT>Admin
What type of music would you recommend?
"Banditos", by the Refreshments:
"Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people..."
Admin
There are dozens of sites with tech support horror stories, this doesn't need to be another one. This was funny, but please make sure it is a one-time thing.
Admin
the cursors in the middle of the screen and i want to move it to the right but my mouse has reached the edge of the mouse mat, what do i do?
Admin
The only solution is to reboot immediately. [;)]
Admin
That reminds me about when I used a graphic tablet for the first time. (You know, a pen with a tablet that you can draw upon.) Out of habit, I kept moving the pen to the middle of the tablet every time when I wanted to go near the sides... Move to the side, back to the middle and more to the side works quite well with a mouse to get the cursor to the side. But with a graphic tablet you keep ending up a little piece away from the middle... [:$]
I've gotten used to it now, but must say... It is very confusing at first... [;)]
Admin
You could always just set your mouse up so that you can reach all parts of the screen without having to lift the mouse up and start back in the middle of the pad.
I once had a mouse, didn't know what was wrong with it, but I kept having to pick the mouse up and down just to get it to move about an inch. I ended up taking it back to the shop only to be told by the spotty faced assistant that was just out of nappies that it was a hardware issue.
''I know it's a hardware issue, THE FU#$!ing MOUSE IS BROKEN!!!''
''Have you tried to change the settings in the control panel?''
''Yes, it's currently set to 'Move at warp speed' it can't go any faster.''
''Have you tried changing your operating system?''
"Change my operating system, CHANGE MY OPERATING SYSTEM! IT'S A FU#$!ing MOUSE, AND IT'S FU#$!ing BROKEN!!!''
I've never shopped at that store since.[8o|]
Admin
Well, compared to a mouse, a graphic tablet can be quite fun. You just hold it as if it's a pen and you don't have to move it around. You just move it to the right spot and you're there. It's not very useful for games unless they are shooting games where you have to click on a position on the screen. For those games, that pen is really useful since you have more precision. But since it doesn't "slide" like a mouse, it is actually useless for games.
But for games I use a joystick instead... [:)]
What is important, though, when you work behind a computer is to adjust your sitting position quite regularly. Don't keep one hand on the mouse all the time and get some wrist support for your keyboard. And make sure you sit upright in the correct position. If possible, move your chair a bit when you sit behind your desk. One day more to the right, the other day more to the left. This prevents that you start growing a certain sitting position..
Admin
I know what you mean, I've got a very low but exstreamly comfortable chair and a high desk so most of my arm is on the desk. This really helps my wrists from hurting from being on the mouse all day. At the last company I worked for I had a really small and cluttered desk, I used to get really bad pains in my neck from the position of my monitor. I couldn't move it either because my boss was a control freak and wanted to see what everyone was doing all day. Which was a bit hippocritical as he probably had the best score in the world for playing solitaire.
The only thing I wish that I had was more leg room under my desk so that I can stretch my legs a bit.
I can't stand using and joystick for playing games, not since I use to have an Atari 2600, god damn thouse things gave you RSI! I think I might actually have arthritis in my thumb from repeatedly hitting that stupid red button while playing centerpied.
I much prefer using my XBOX controller (The BIG one) I can't stand using the small one, now I've only got small hands but I just end up falling all over the buttons on the small one. The big controller just feels so much better, it's a perfect fit.[:P]
Admin
Never tried to attach an XBOX controller to my PC, though. Didn't even know that that would work... [;)]
Admin
It generaly works better if you attach it to an XBOX.[;)]
But it is possible I suppose to attach one to a PC. You can get adapters to fit PS2 controllers to an XBOX so I would think it was possible to do it with a PC.
Admin
There you go Katja, must be possible.[8-)]
http://www.llamma.com/xbox/Mods/images/wiremod_023.jpg
Admin
You THINK it's possible? Oh, no... Do you mean you actually bought an XBOX??? [st][li][st]
That's just the biggest waste of your money... You nasty Microsoft sponsor. If you do want to buy a game console, go buy a playstation instead! Stop sponsoring the big monopolist!
Admin