• QJo (unregistered)

    frist, Akismet, you boundah!

  • Xenon Xavior (unregistered)

    I'm not sure I get the ice machine one. The only problem I see is a slightly bureaucratic approach from the maintenance team.

  • Nagesh (unregistered)
    Years ago, I was a helpdesk operator at certain large government department
    India is being very large government, but not to be making this mistake.
  • no u (unregistered)

    Nagesh, I have a problem with my ice machine.

  • Nagesh (unregistered) in reply to no u
    no u:
    Nagesh, I have a problem with my ice machine.
    This is dificult to be debug concerning me: canot keep ice to be solid because power never to be on long enough.

    Resolution: to be drinking w/o ice.

  • C-Octothorpe (cs) in reply to no u
    no u:
    Nagesh, I have a problem with my ice machine.
    Christ... Ice?! He doesn't even have electricity.
  • Vexorg (unregistered)

    Have you tried the rebooting of the ice machine?

  • CodeRage (cs)

    I will be needing you be going into your Ice Machine tools and clear the cache and cookies as for the resolution I am intending to present to you.

  • Anon (unregistered)

    Don't keep your icemachine in the cupboard.

  • Peter (unregistered)

    I think "Singh, Baljeet" in the "Ice machine" example is actually a bot.

  • Samus Aran (unregistered)
    JUSTIN BAILEY
    ------ ------

    Good times.

  • trtrwtf (unregistered) in reply to Vexorg
    Vexorg:
    Have you tried the rebooting of the ice machine?

    I've booted it several times, and pounded on the side of it with my fist. I even rocked it back and forth a few times.

  • StinkyLinky (unregistered) in reply to Samus Aran
    Samus Aran:
    JUSTIN BAILEY
    ------ ------
    Good times.

    Indeed! In all of her 8-bit hotness!

  • some guy (unregistered)

    Was anyone else expecting the guy in the first story to get blamed for the server dieing?

  • RxScram (cs)

    Regarding the Ice Machine... did anybody else catch the (probably intentional) irony that the name used for the submitter was Justin Bailey? In the original Metroid game for Nintendo, Justin Bailey (followed by a blank line underneath both words) was a well-known cheat code that gave the hero all the power ups except for 2... one of which was the ice ray.

    EDIT... oops, never mind. Somebody beat me to it while I was typing.

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to Samus Aran
    Samus Aran:
    JUSTIN BAILEY
    ------ ------
    Good times.

    You win the Internet today!

  • lolwtf (cs) in reply to some guy
    some guy:
    Was anyone else expecting the guy in the first story to get blamed for the server dieing?
    I was surprised they even let him open it. He also claims to have cleaned it out with a vacuum? That's a big no-no; vacuum cleaners produce huge static charges at their ends.
  • boog (cs) in reply to RxScram
    RxScram:
    Regarding the Ice Machine... did anybody else catch the (probably intentional) irony that the name used for the submitter was Justin Bailey? In the original Metroid game for Nintendo, Justin Bailey (followed by a blank line underneath both words) was a well-known cheat code that gave the hero all the power ups except for 2... one of which was the ice ray.

    EDIT... oops, never mind. Somebody beat me to it while I was typing.

    I noticed the reference, but I didn't catch the irony.

  • doconnor (unregistered)

    Do all the ticket numbers start with "#IM" or only the ones related to ice machines?

  • boog (cs)
    All of this was ringing my alarm bells and I asked her to show me said server.
    Where's zunesis when you need him?
  • Nagesh (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Don't keep your icemachine in the cupboard.
    Actually this is being my solutioin to problem with PC overheat mode. To not forget being to your batery-baked-up power suplies!
  • Arvind (unregistered) in reply to some guy
    some guy:
    Was anyone else expecting the guy in the first story to get blamed for the server dieing?
    Absolutely. I have got so used to reading these stories, I thought TRWTF was that they didn't blame him.
  • Arvind (unregistered)

    I don't get the Ice Machine story though. Could someone please explain to me what the problem with that is?

    He did clearly mention at the beginning that he would try troubleshooting remotely before sending the local support.

  • [trademarked name redacted] (unregistered)

    Connecting to Global Sexual Assurance Live Help... Connected!

    Singh, Baljeet :: Hello, I am from Global Sexual Assurance, how can I help you today?

    Bailey, Justin :: I have a problem with my dominatrix, and I was told I have to submit before I can cum.

    Singh, Baljeet :: Hello Justin, I can help you with your request. I have created a ticket for you, #IM102955. Before dispatching local services, I will need to troubleshoot the problem remotely. Can you describe the problem?

    Bailey, Justin :: The dominatrix won't let me cum. That's what I was trying to get done.

    Singh, Baljeet :: I see. I will try to diagnose this problem, but can you first describe for me what you mean by "dominatrix"?

    Bailey, Justin :: She a woman who inserts things into sad men... she's standing in my kitchen with a cucumber.

    Singh, Baljeet :: I am not familiar with this service. Can you describe its purpose?

    Bailey, Justin :: I thought it would be arousing... which would then let me get off?

    Singh, Baljeet :: I see. This will be challenging to remotely diagnose, so I will dispatch local services to help resolve this problem.

  • Jellineck (unregistered)

    "The ice machine doesn't work. The compressor is probably broken. "

    Where I work, that would be followed up with "please replace the compressor". Then you get to argue about wanting to find out what the problem actually is vs. just fixing it like you were told.

  • Singh, Baljeet (unregistered)

    I am not familiar with this website. Can you please describe its purpose?

  • boog (cs)
    He apparently restored down the program and it appeared half off the screen...
    I wonder, were this a Large Corporation and the gentlemen in Upper Management, if the monitor would have been automatically replaced without question.

    "See, the window was only half on the screen, that's why you couldn't see all of it." "Well I don't want it to happen again. Just get me a new monitor like I asked!"

  • TheCPUWizard (cs)

    Just a word for people who find themselves with a dead or dying disk.. DriveSavers!!!!!

    I am not affiliated with them in any way, but have used them when machines have become submerged (in a flood), severly overheaded (including a house fire), or simply allowed to die, like the one in the story.

    Their recovery rates are AMAZING. They only take one approach: Disassembly the drive, magnetically scan the platter in a special device. Use the magnetic scans to reconstruct the data.

    They are not cheap (especially for multi-drive Raid), but in every case I have had, they have been well worth it!

  • ObiWayneKenobi (cs)

    Shouldn't the first one have ended with the company being sued for "destroying" the jeweler's data?

  • Melnorme (cs)

    Making porn versions of everybody's comments? That's a new one.

  • C-Octothorpe (cs) in reply to Melnorme
    Melnorme:
    Making porn versions of everybody's comments? That's a new one.
    You must be new here... zunesis has been haunting these forums for a while now.
  • Justin Bailey (unregistered) in reply to CodeRage
    CodeRage:
    I will be needing you be going into your Ice Machine tools and clear the cache and cookies as for the resolution I am intending to present to you.
    Ironically, this would actually have fixed the problem. Turned out the compressor was jammed with cookie crumbles.
  • trtrwtf (unregistered) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    Melnorme:
    Making porn versions of everybody's comments? That's a new one.
    You must be new here... zunesis has been haunting these forums for a while now.

    Ah, internet time... Yeah, since last month. It only feels like forever.

  • [trademarked name redacted] (unregistered) in reply to Melnorme
    Melnorme:
    Forming magnificent erotic prose from dullard's banal comments? We need more of this "[trademarked name redacted]" fellow around here.

    I appreciate your appreciation. In return, I'll do you the honor of giving you a reacharound when I SAVAGELY LAY CLAIM TO YOUR ASSHOLE.

  • C-Octothorpe (cs) in reply to trtrwtf
    trtrwtf:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Melnorme:
    Making porn versions of everybody's comments? That's a new one.
    You must be new here... zunesis has been haunting these forums for a while now.

    Ah, internet time... Yeah, since last month. It only feels like forever.

    Well, longer than @Melnorme has been here, obviously...

  • foo (unregistered) in reply to boog
    boog:
    He apparently restored down the program and it appeared half off the screen...
    I wonder, were this a Large Corporation and the gentlemen in Upper Management, if the monitor would have been automatically replaced without question.

    "See, the window was only half on the screen, that's why you couldn't see all of it." "Well I don't want it to happen again. Just get me a new monitor like I asked!"

    No, a bigger monitor, so he can see all of this window.

  • [trademarked name redacted] (unregistered) in reply to trtrwtf
    trtrwtf:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Melnorme:
    Making porn versions of everybody's comments? That's a new one.
    You must be new here... zunesis has been having his way with members of these forums for a while now.
    Ah, internet time... Yeah, I haven't been with him since last month. It only feels like forever.
    I was going to wait for the bleeding of your ass cherry to stop, but if you want it again so soon, I'll gladly oblige.
  • [trademarked name redacted] (unregistered) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    Fist Akismet, you brotha!

    Shove your fist so far up there, you can chew his food for him!

  • trtrwtf (unregistered) in reply to [trademarked name redacted]
    [trademarked name redacted]:
    trtrwtf:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Melnorme:
    Making nice desserts for everybod who comments? That's a new one.
    You must be new here... zunesis has been having tea with members of these forums for a while now.
    Ah, internet time... Yeah, I haven't been with him since last month. It only feels like forever.
    I was going to bring you a nice cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, but if you want strawberry rhubarb, I'll gladly oblige.

    No, I think cherry sounds nice, actually. Thanks.

  • AverageJon (unregistered) in reply to boog
    boog:
    He apparently restored down the program and it appeared half off the screen...
    I wonder, were this a Large Corporation and the gentlemen in Upper Management, if the monitor would have been automatically replaced without question.

    "See, the window was only half on the screen, that's why you couldn't see all of it." "Well I don't want it to happen again. Just get me a new monitor like I asked!"

    Everybody's forgetting the first rule of desktop support: Reboot the PC.

    That would have closed the application and thereby fixed the problem.

  • Don (unregistered) in reply to AverageJon
    AverageJon:
    boog:
    He apparently restored down the program and it appeared half off the screen...
    I wonder, were this a Large Corporation and the gentlemen in Upper Management, if the monitor would have been automatically replaced without question.

    "See, the window was only half on the screen, that's why you couldn't see all of it." "Well I don't want it to happen again. Just get me a new monitor like I asked!"

    Everybody's forgetting the first rule of desktop support: Reboot the PC.

    That would have closed the application and thereby fixed the problem.

    Uhhhm most windows apps were coded to remember where they were loaded since Windows98... reboot would have not fixed this at all..
  • C-Octothorpe (cs) in reply to trtrwtf
    trtrwtf:
    [trademarked name redacted]:
    trtrwtf:
    C-Octothorpe:
    Melnorme:
    Making nice desserts for everybod who comments? That's a new one.
    You must be new here... zunesis has been having tea with members of these forums for a while now.
    Ah, internet time... Yeah, I haven't been with him since last month. It only feels like forever.
    I was going to bring you a nice cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, but if you want strawberry rhubarb, I'll gladly oblige.

    No, I think cherry sounds nice, actually. Thanks.

    Inverse perversism (I know it's not a real word). Interesting... I'll call this the Dora the Explorer filter.

  • Somebody (unregistered) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    no u:
    Nagesh, I have a problem with my ice machine.
    Christ... Ice?! He doesn't even have electricity.
    That is a real brain turner...
  • trtrwtf (unregistered) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    no u:
    Nagesh, I have a problem with my ice machine.
    Christ... Ice?! He doesn't even have electricity.

    Someone stole his extension cord? The bastards!

  • [trademarked name redacted] (unregistered) in reply to trtrwtf
    trtrwtf:
    [trademarked name redacted]:
    I was going to bring you a nice cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, but if you want strawberry rhubarb, I'll gladly oblige.
    No, I think cherry sounds nice, actually. Thanks.
    Sounds like you're getting sweet on me.

    Doing anything tonight? Have a babysitter lined up?

  • [trademarked name redacted] (unregistered) in reply to [trademarked name redacted]
    [trademarked name redacted](fake):
    trtrwtf:
    [trademarked name redacted]:
    I was going to bring you a nice cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, but if you want strawberry rhubarb, I'll gladly oblige.
    No, I think cherry sounds nice, actually. Thanks.
    Sounds like you're getting horny.

    Doing anyone tonight? ie, have a babysitter lined up?

  • jas88 (cs)

    One site I support at the moment (though not for much longer I hope!) has a scary amount of overpriced computing/videoconferencing kit stashed in cupboards underneath the two giant plasma screens in their meeting room. The PC they cooked in there died several years ago, so I was able to explain the problem and put the replacement on the top surface instead of cooking inside again, but the pile of pricey analogue video switchgear, audio amplifier (to drive the speakers on those two giant screens .. yes, they do have their own built in amp which would do the job perfectly well) ...

    I understand the room is actually being used this week, too. Not by the ID10T department which bought it all, of course, they never had any use for it in the first place...

  • [trademarked name redacted] (unregistered) in reply to [trademarked name redacted]
    [trademarked name redacted](could have done better):
    [trademarked name redacted](fake):
    trtrwtf:
    [trademarked name redacted]:
    I was going to bring you a nice cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, but if you want strawberry rhubarb, I'll gladly oblige.
    No, I think cherry sounds nice, actually. Thanks.
    Sounds like you're getting horny.

    Doing anyone tonight? ie, have a babysitter tied down?

  • PedanticCurmudgeon (cs) in reply to [trademarked name redacted]
    [trademarked name redacted]:
    [trademarked name redacted](could have done better):
    [trademarked name redacted](fake):
    trtrwtf:
    [trademarked name redacted]:
    I was going to bring you a nice cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, but if you want strawberry rhubarb, I'll gladly oblige.
    No, I think cherry sounds nice, actually. Thanks.
    Sounds like you're getting horny.

    Doing anyone tonight? ie, have a babysitter tied down?

    Either zunesis is having a bad day or there's at least one imitator.

  • C-Octothorpe (cs) in reply to PedanticCurmudgeon
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    Either zunesis is having a bad day or there's at least one imitator.
    I'm guessing the latter as he said in his last redacted comment that he needed to go to a meeting...

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