• jtl (unregistered)

    It's better if you think of Earl of a big hairy Russian guy.

    "Sauna good for computer, help clear lungs and microchips. COUGH"

  • randomdreamer (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Sam B (unregistered)

    I'm surprised the guy kept his job. Bad hygiene is a perfectly acceptable reason to fire someone, especially of it's causing discomfort to other employees, or even potential customers.

    That's just deplorable.

  • SoonerMatt (unregistered) in reply to Sam B
    Sam B:
    I'm surprised the guy kept his job. Bad hygiene is a perfectly acceptable reason to fire someone, especially of it's causing discomfort to other employees, or even potential customers.

    That's just deplorable.

    A friend had an employee who excellent except for his diet. He regularly ate foods that were high in garlic and onions. Although he was the epitome of health and cleanliness, he had an odor that made him unbearable.

    It was a very interesting conversation having to tell one of your best employees that his body odor was preventing him from being able to do his job which was to represent the company to clients. Supposedly after the conversation things got better for a while. I don't know if he still works there or not...

  • (cs)

    I don't think words have ever been able to make me smell what the author smelled. Gah!

  • Nelson (unregistered)

    "otomotopeia" :-) I believe you meant "onomatopoeia".

  • JD (unregistered)

    The first thing I think to myself whenever my box starts playing up is "have I got enough water in there?". Everyone knows that water is an effective electrical conductor so it begs the question: if there is an inadequate amount of water in one's computer, how on Earth is the electricity supposed to pass between the components? Maybe someone someday will invent a series of tubes for electricity, but until that day comes...

  • (cs)

    Hey Jake, Stop using nasty stock photos -- it makes me want to imageblock TDWTF.

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    From this day forth I shall strive to get the word "otomotopeia" into general usage, defined as onomatopoeia that is too rude for use in mixed company.

  • (cs)
    It was 11:30 in the morning,
    Why yes, yes it is! Spooky!
  • lolwut (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • (cs)

    Gee, thanks! Now I'm ready to hurl!

  • (cs) in reply to SoonerMatt
    SoonerMatt:
    Sam B:
    I'm surprised the guy kept his job. Bad hygiene is a perfectly acceptable reason to fire someone, especially of it's causing discomfort to other employees, or even potential customers.

    That's just deplorable.

    A friend had an employee who excellent except for his diet. He regularly ate foods that were high in garlic and onions. Although he was the epitome of health and cleanliness, he had an odor that made him unbearable.

    It was a very interesting conversation having to tell one of your best employees that his body odor was preventing him from being able to do his job which was to represent the company to clients. Supposedly after the conversation things got better for a while. I don't know if he still works there or not...

    I work with some guys from India, and let me tell you there is nothing worse than the stench of their food. I mean seriously, it smells so bad that I have to leave the office. I let them know, but they just think its funny. Stupid...

  • Fedaykin (unregistered)

    The RWTF is that this slob still had a job, not that he was doing something idiotic to his computer.

    IMHO, the #1 qualification of any employee (assuming they work even remotely closely with others) is their socialization with the rest of the group. I don't care if you are God's gift to your chosen profession, if you are a social ingrate like Earl that is incapable of even the most basic of social graces, you are worthless.

    Now, IT folks on average are not social butterflies (but can be worked with), but that's no excuse for keeping someone around like Earl. This is a management failure, plain an simple.

  • (cs)

    As an ex-smoker, that piece really turned my stomach...

    Well done!

  • Eric (unregistered) in reply to Fedaykin

    Obviously, you have never worked in Higher Ed...

    Dr E

    Fedaykin:
    The RWTF is that this slob still had a job, not that he was doing something idiotic to his computer.

    IMHO, the #1 qualification of any employee (assuming they work even remotely closely with others) is their socialization with the rest of the group. I don't care if you are God's gift to your chosen profession, if you are a social ingrate like Earl that is incapable of even the most basic of social graces, you are worthless.

    Now, IT folks on average are not social butterflies (but can be worked with), but that's no excuse for keeping someone around like Earl. This is a management failure, plain an simple.

  • (cs) in reply to Nelson
    Nelson:
    "otomotopeia" :-) I believe you meant "onomatopoeia".

    I believe so, yes.

    Is "SNORT" onomatopoeic? It doesn't sound like a snort, certainly not a snort I've ever embarked upon...maybe a strange snort with an "Ssss" at the front ending with a "Tchch" as the phlegm rebounds off of a tin can somewhere.

  • (cs)

    Heh. I worked in a place where one of the employee smoke (a LOT) in her office. This was against the law but apparently she didn't give a damn about it and neither her boss. Each time I entered her office I had to navigate through the fog. When I accessed the building each morning I could immediately tell whether she was on leave because of the lack of smell, despite her office being 80 m from the front door.

  • SomeCoder (unregistered)

    I have to wonder how much embellishment was done in this piece...

    If it was very little... ugh

  • (cs)

    In the old days, computers were built of steel and other virtually indestructible materials so they would last...

    At my first job (early 1980), we had about 20 of those almost-washing-machine-sized disk drives, each of which blasted enough hot exhaust to heat a medium sized room. On rainy/snowy days, the girls (yes, there were several) in our group used to hang their socks over the exhaust ports to dry/warm them.

  • AlleyGator (unregistered)

    Wow, that made me physically ill. I, like the protagonist featured today, am just about to go to lunch too.

  • Earl (unregistered)

    You guys may think I'm gross but how many of you have got your own office? My little "problem" has scored me my own office in a quiet corner of the building. And when I get home I just wash up before the wife gets back from her modelling job.

  • (cs)

    Dang, and I was just about to get breakfast. Ugh.

  • Leo (unregistered)

    Sounds like a bad time, and Dante wasn't even supposed to be there today.

  • Charles (unregistered)

    I knew a guy like that, plus he cut his own hair at his desk. Hair clippings everywhere.

  • (cs) in reply to Earl
    Earl:
    And when I get home I just wash up before the wife gets back from her modelling job.
    She's the "before" model, right?
  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    I just threw up in my mouth a little...urp...

  • An Onymous (unregistered)
    the nearby receptionist looked like ham
    That was pretty funny. Almost forgot about it when I read the rest of the narrative.
  • My Name Is...? (unregistered) in reply to Bappi
    Bappi:
    Earl:
    And when I get home I just wash up before the wife gets back from her modelling job.
    She's the "before" model, right?
    BAAAAZZZING! That was a beauty, this is going straight into my taunt book, thanks!
  • Steevie (unregistered)

    Thanks $deity here is 6pm, so not yet time for dinner: my stomach has enough time to recover from this ugly story!

    btw captcha: valetudo

    ...how ironic!

  • atkretsch (unregistered) in reply to Bappi
    Bappi:
    Earl:
    And when I get home I just wash up before the wife gets back from her modelling job.
    She's the "before" model, right?
    OH NO HE DIDN'T
  • Name goes here (unregistered) in reply to Eric
    Eric :
    Obviously, you have never worked in Higher Ed...

    Dr E

    Fedaykin:
    The RWTF is that this slob still had a job, not that he was doing something idiotic to his computer.

    IMHO, the #1 qualification of any employee (assuming they work even remotely closely with others) is their socialization with the rest of the group. I don't care if you are God's gift to your chosen profession, if you are a social ingrate like Earl that is incapable of even the most basic of social graces, you are worthless.

    Now, IT folks on average are not social butterflies (but can be worked with), but that's no excuse for keeping someone around like Earl. This is a management failure, plain an simple.

    Obviously you've never heard the saying "Those that cant do, teach."

  • atrigent (unregistered) in reply to An Onymous

    I think the real question is: what was the gender of this receptionist?

  • shMerker (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • retreved (unregistered)

    I can easily believe this story, and even know the smell described, after being in hardware support for way too long and having seen too many horrors along the way..

    When i worked in tech support at a certain Texas computer manufacturer, we had a tech, very obese, very very obese, who did not bathe regularly. If at all, we wondered. Sitting near him was near torture for a buddy of mine who had to keep a bottle of Febreeze and a fan blowing away from him on his desk. When the stinkie guy would leave, my friend would Febreeze the whole area. 4 times a day Febreezing just to have a sort of manageable smell in his work area. That didn't help with the fruit-fly population that moved in because of the huge stack of unrinsed cans of Diet Coke that stacked endlessly on his desk! There were flies all around and if you dared to disturb any of those cans it turned into a plague of flies for all the cubicles in the area. Cleaning crew refused to touch his work area. And don't get me started on his gas... <wretch>

    This guys car was a mess too - a completely trashed convertable Mustang, shocks blown on the drivers side from carrying his immense weight to and fro. The plastic window in the back was completely torn-out and the driver and passenger side windows only rolled up so far. Also, imagine that every fast food bag he ever got his hands on was piled in the back and, that every time it rained, that whole disgusting pile of rubbish got soaked stunk even worse. You could smell the car form two rows away.

    The Coup de Grace tho was, because of his weight, about once per year, unwashed skin under his folds of fat on his ankles and back would rot and abscess. Quite honestly, within 20 feet of this guy all you could smell was the rotting flesh of a putrid wound. This would go for about two or three days until he would have to be hospitalized to convalesce for 6 weeks.

    Everytime I changed departments some how he would also so I was always near him in a building of 2000 people. At times each manager we worked under would have 'the stink talk' with him and things would get a little better for about two months, but in time he always went back to his old ways. His clothes were always wrinkled, covered in dog fur, rarely clean. We speculated that he was probably one of those horders that cant keep anything clean - based on the cases of empty soda cans he collected.

    Now I am long gone from Smell Computers and breathing fresher air. I've never wondered or asked what happened to that guy.

  • anonymouse (unregistered)

    New Irish girl is win.

  • Richard Conyard (unregistered)

    Sounds like it's Dantes problem really - level one is truly hell...

    I'll get my coat...

  • JamesQMurphy (unregistered)

    Any conversation that begins with referring to a computer as a "she" ("She starts up maybe 25% of the time") never ends well.

  • Brian (unregistered)

    Man that brings back memories. Had a guy at an old job that lived on garlic. He emitted a cloud that was maybe 15' in radius.

  • Phantom Watson (unregistered)

    <wrong>otomotopeia</wrong> <right>onomatopoeia</right>

  • ShatteredArm (unregistered) in reply to Fedaykin
    Fedaykin:
    The RWTF is that this slob still had a job, not that he was doing something idiotic to his computer.

    IMHO, the #1 qualification of any employee (assuming they work even remotely closely with others) is their socialization with the rest of the group. I don't care if you are God's gift to your chosen profession, if you are a social ingrate like Earl that is incapable of even the most basic of social graces, you are worthless.

    Now, IT folks on average are not social butterflies (but can be worked with), but that's no excuse for keeping someone around like Earl. This is a management failure, plain an simple.

    Must be a government shop.

  • commoveo (unregistered) in reply to JD
    JD:
    The first thing I think to myself whenever my box starts playing up is "have I got enough water in there?". Everyone knows that water is an effective electrical conductor so it begs the question: if there is an inadequate amount of water in one's computer, how on Earth is the electricity supposed to pass between the components? Maybe someone someday will invent a series of tubes for electricity, but until that day comes...

    Uhhhh... pure water is an insulator. Only when it contains metallic (normally minerals, pipe debris, or some salts) contamination does water conduct electricity at all. Even when these are in water it's impedance is high. Normal tap water has an impedance of a few thousand ohms and it travels though metal pipes and normally metal faucets. Though tap water has a high impedance, if you combine this with a human body and 120Vrms at 10A or 5A it'll fry you fast. Only takes around 7 to 9Vdc to break the human skin electrical resistance and 5 to 10 miliamps across the heart to kill you.

  • Mitch (unregistered) in reply to JD

    Heh, I'm pretty sure you're being sarcastic about requiring water in the computer, but I'd like to note that pure water is utterly non-conductive. Water is only weakly conductive when it has metallic ions present, such as from salt (or other sources in nature).

  • (cs)

    How could fruit flies be attracted to artificial sweeteners? There must have been something more diabolical "stored" in those empty cans.

  • (cs)

    So... Even his computer is having a NIC fit? >.>

  • spotcatbug (unregistered)

    Nitpick: that scene with the blood coming out of the elevators was never actually in The Shining; it was filmed for, and used only in, the theatrical preview.

  • TekniCal (unregistered) in reply to commoveo
    commoveo:
    Only takes around 7 to 9Vdc to break the human skin electrical resistance and 5 to 10 miliamps across the heart to kill you.

    Say, WHAT??? 9VDC breaks skin resistance? I guess all those 12 and 24Vdc battery banks have fried me....

    And they sell 9V batteries without any kind of shielding over the terminals with no warning of any kind.

    Oh, the humanity!

  • (cs)

    Anyone who worked at FTP Software knows about "Dragonbreath," the guy who cleared his throat like it was full of phlegm a dozen times a day.

    He liked to go around without wearing a shirt, too.

  • commoveo (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    Comment held for moderation.
  • beluv (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.

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