The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

"both of them were fired, and Nick was given a promotion."

This is the real WTF. (I mean I know you 'embellish' the stories but this takes it to the realm of fantasy literature.)

Remy Porter · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Hey, sometimes organizations make the right decision. The chances of you winning the lottery are nil, but the chances of someone winning the lottery are pretty good.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

The "happy ending" does end up being a surprise when it happens. You do never quite expect it.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

...I guess we all know what trWTF here is.

Mind boggling!

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Nick thought he was going to enjoy

Oh, dear, not a good sign. This is bound to morph into WTF.

Windows servers

Yep, there it is!

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Sadly the story probably went more like this:

Nick suspects something is wrong with the windows servers. Nick ignores the instructions to leave the boxes alone. Nick remotes in. The servers are filled with the kind of scum and villainy found only in droid prohibited establishments. Nick of course notifies his boss. Nick is fired for hacking the server. He is threatened with criminal charges. Larry blames the mess on Nick and takes a few months to clean it up before the next admin comes in and repeats Nick's mistake. Nick now has a giant stain on his resume and now works at pizza hut.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

You call needing to learn Windows administration a happy ending?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Smug Unix User:
Nick suspects something is wrong with the windows servers.

Fortunately, Nick knows this isn't part of his job, and moreover he was told to leave them alone. So everyone is happy -- especially the spammers.

Nick ignores the instructions

and gets fired. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

History Teacher:
...I guess we all know what trWTF here is.
Mind boggling!

Yeah; some company actually promoted the guy who found the malware and reported the culprits that supported and enabled it. The usual story ends with Nick being fired for violating the "Do Not Touch" order of his superior. I've seen any number of cases like that (and once been the firee after reporting a serious security issue). I've heard rumors of people being rewarded for such things, but I've never personally seen it happen.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

“There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever.

those boxes actually need a hardware upgrade

So he is supposed to upgrade the hardware without touching it? I guess that might be vaguely possible with Linux boxes, but Windows? The magic in this story is more powerful than unicorns.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Leo:
You call needing to learn Windows administration a happy ending?

No, but now Nick can list those old servers on e-bay himself.

after running the appropriate disk sanitizers over the harddrives and loading them to the gills with malware (for funsies)

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

A happy ending? Is that even allowed? I feel dirty... like a CEO of a wall street bank or something.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Smug Unix User:
Sadly the story probably went more like this:
Nick suspects something is wrong with the windows servers. Nick ignores the instructions to leave the boxes alone. Nick remotes in. The servers are filled with the kind of scum and villainy found only in droid prohibited establishments. Nick of course notifies his boss. Nick is fired for hacking the server. He is threatened with criminal charges. Larry blames the mess on Nick and takes a few months to clean it up before the next admin comes in and repeats Nick's mistake. Nick now has a giant stain on his resume and now works at pizza hut.

In this case, if reporting a banking data security breach is a legal requirement (?), presumably a boss who tried to suppress a report could be looking at a criminal conviction if they were found out? So Nick is probably on somewhat safer ground than if the company were in a less-regulated industry.

snoofle · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Garrison Fiord:
Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?

Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

snoofle:
Garrison Fiord:
Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

It ought to be virii, not viruses.</troll> :-)

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

snoofle:
Garrison Fiord:
Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Whatever you do, do not click the "No" answer.

Or is that because of the happy ending?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Garrison Fiord:
if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're"

A sentence that uses "your" when it means "you're" is difficult to read. It's like hitting a speed bump. No, worse. You have to back up and go over it again, seeking (sometimes in vain) to understand the message better than the child who wrote it.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

another victim of Mr Porter

snoofle · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Garrison Fiord:
what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

Yesterday, I discovered a major fuckup done by someone else, and needed to get a jump on undoing the damage - I shifted my day to 4AM-12N so as to be able to use the systems when I've got them all to myself.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Chris A:
In this case, if reporting a banking data security breach is a legal requirement (?), presumably a boss who tried to suppress a report could be looking at a criminal conviction if they were found out? So Nick is probably on somewhat safer ground than if the company were in a less-regulated industry.

"Nick's saying he 'found' malware on that server? Well, he's wasn't even authorized to touch that server so he must've installed it maliciously. In fact, since his orders were to not touch that server at all we want him prosecuted under the computer abuse act. Not to mention the civil suit that we'll be filing where our lawyers will state that he went outside of his purview then an independent forensic expert that we hire will attest to the fact that it was only after Nick's actions was malware found on that server.

"Yes, it was definitely Nick that infected that computer for his own nefarious purposes."

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Garrison Fiord:
snoofle:
Garrison Fiord:
Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?
How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

If you find that sentence difficult to read, perhaps you need more practice.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Lit Erate:
Garrison Fiord:
if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're"
A sentence that uses "your" when it means "you're" is difficult to read. It's like hitting a speed bump. No, worse. You have to back up and go over it again, seeking (sometimes in vain) to understand the message better than the child who wrote it.

I'm not saying its ideal, but at least you can convert to verbal and get some meaning out of it.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Truly, no good deed goes unpunished. Imagine having to learn Windows admin. Ugh.

Severity One · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

In a flash of institutional intelligence, both of them were fired, and Nick was given a promotion.

Oh, come on, it never works that way. Of course Nick was sacked. Right?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Remy:
Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least?

The WTF is strong in this one.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

more RAM than a goat festival

Don't you mean a sheep festival?

Severity One · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Garrison Fiord:
Garrison Fiord:
Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

Excuse me? May I, a non-native speaker, list the mistakes you managed to make in those few sentences? * comma after 'damn' doesn't belong there * 'change' should be 'chance' * 'right' should be 'write' * 'happen' should be 'happened' * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.

Ergo, you're writing something, and after mentally having to fix all the mistakes you made, I kind of understand what you're trying to say, with the obvious exception of the bomb thing. But your sentences are rather difficult to read, so you're making a bit of a fool of yourself (or you'reself if you so prefer).

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Severity One:
* 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.

Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?

lethalronin27 · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Garrison Fiord:
snoofle:
Garrison Fiord:
Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?
How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

That wasn't hard to read at all. Maybe you should try 3rd grade again so you can read it too.

RaceProUK · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Severity One:
* 'happen' should be 'happened' * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icVy7Ve6y6A

Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE6emvdmg-M

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

I think you guys who are surprised that they fired Ted and Larry are missing the point. After Nick notified management and they looked into the situation, they discovered that the old servers were going on eBay. That is why Ted and Larry were fired. Stealing is the number one offense as far as your employer is concerned. They could have been incompetent until retirement and no one would have cared.

If not for the theft, Nick probably would have been fired because Ted and Larry probably would not have been.

operagost · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

John:
History Teacher:
...I guess we all know what trWTF here is.
Mind boggling!

Yeah; some company actually promoted the guy who found the malware and reported the culprits that supported and enabled it. The usual story ends with Nick being fired for violating the "Do Not Touch" order of his superior. I've seen any number of cases like that (and once been the firee after reporting a serious security issue). I've heard rumors of people being rewarded for such things, but I've never personally seen it happen.

Considering the visibility of financial and identity fraud today, you'll probably still be fired but at least you'll have a good case for wrongful termination if customer financial or personal information is at risk.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

more RAM than a goat festival

Made my day, thanks!

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

lethalronin27:
Garrison Fiord:
snoofle:
Garrison Fiord:
Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?
How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

That wasn't hard to read at all. Maybe you should try 3rd grade again so you can read it too.

Don't worry, he meant 3rd grade level at most. I can see how that sentence is a little difficult to parse for a 7 year old.

Also, besides "virii" it's "boxen"!

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

MightyM:
Severity One:
* 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.

Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?

Already? That was thirteen years ago at least!

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Ted:
“There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever.
those boxes actually need a hardware upgrade
So he is supposed to upgrade the hardware without touching it? I guess that might be vaguely possible with Linux boxes, but Windows? The magic in this story is more powerful than unicorns.

You mean Windows doesn't support Remote Hot Swap(tm) yet?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

lethalronin27:
Garrison Fiord:
snoofle:
Garrison Fiord:
Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?
How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

That wasn't hard to read at all. Maybe you should try 3rd grade again so you can read it too.

That asshat Remy modified my post, probably because I'm an idiot. I bet he deletes this one, because I'm a sucker and love losing bets.

Severity One · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

My name is unimportant:
MightyM:
Severity One:
* 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.
Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?
Already? That was thirteen years ago at least!

THIRTEEN years ago? Man, back then, I was only... um, never mind my age. Move along now.

Anyway, I've never played consoles, hated them back then and hate them now. If I can't spend some considerable income on a graphics card with the sound of an F-16 taking off, so I can watch salmon jump up the waterfalls in Skyrim, it's not worth it.

Steve The Cynic · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

foo:
Ted:
“There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever.
those boxes actually need a hardware upgrade
So he is supposed to upgrade the hardware without touching it? I guess that might be vaguely possible with Linux boxes, but Windows? The magic in this story is more powerful than unicorns.
You mean Windows doesn't support Remote Hot Swap(tm) yet?

I did hear the story of an IBM mainframe in Japan somewhere that was up for seven and a half years, and during that time, every part of the hardware was replaced at least once, including the racks, with no downtime. (Well, of course, you take individual CPU boards (etc) out of service, but one at a time, until you have replaced them all.)

But even there, someone had to touch the hardware that was being changed...

D-Coder · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

"...goats can breathe in space. Little known fact."

Ah huh.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

I'm pretty sure the author meant that the new guy was supposed to order the hardware, since that is his job, and that Larry would install and configure it himself.

Steve The Cynic · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Severity One:
My name is unimportant:
MightyM:
Severity One:
* 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.
Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?
Already? That was thirteen years ago at least!
THIRTEEN years ago? Man, back then, I was only... um, never mind my age. Move along now.
Anyway, I've never played consoles, hated them back then and hate them now. If I can't spend some considerable income on a graphics card with the sound of an F-16 taking off, so I can watch salmon jump up the waterfalls in Skyrim, it's not worth it.

I prefer to buy graphics cards that don't make more noise (it's NOISE, not sound, because it's a largely undesirable side effect) than a supersonic-capable aircraft.

(And the benchmark for noisy aircraft, apparently, is a Tu-95, with eight propellers that spin fast enough that the blade tips produce sonic booms.)

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

The "Somebody set up us the bomb" bit is a reference to Zero Wing, a Sega Master Drive game that is known to be the best example of a poorly-localized Japanese game.

Thus, it's not English. It's Engrish.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Garrison Fiord:
lethalronin27:
Garrison Fiord:
snoofle:
Garrison Fiord:
Remy:
Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.

Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?
How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

That wasn't hard to read at all. Maybe you should try 3rd grade again so you can read it too.
That asshat Remy modified my post, probably because I'm an idiot. I bet he deletes this one, because I'm a sucker and love losing bets.

You're butt hurt much, Remy?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

That Remy seems to have a crush on me. Too bad I'm not the "unicorns and rainbows" type.

Remy Porter · 2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Garrison Fiord:
You're butt hurt much, Remy?

At least I understand how to use the quote feature in a fashion that doesn't spam the thread with walls-of-unnecessary-text.

By the way, my articles tend to average out to about the 6th grade level. I know this because I actually check that, the Gunning-Fog index, and for word-repetition. You see, I actually do put effort into making readable articles.

But hey, you have a difficult time with content suitable for 12 year-olds. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Remy Porter:
Garrison Fiord:
You're butt hurt much, Remy?

At least I understand how to use the quote feature in a fashion that doesn't spam the thread with walls-of-unnecessary-text.

By the way, my articles tend to average out to about the 6th grade level. I know this because I actually check that, the Gunning-Fog index, and for word-repetition. You see, I actually do put effort into making readable articles.

But hey, you have a difficult time with content suitable for 12 year-olds. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Wait... how did you do that? Why do all of my quotes include the entire thread? ARE YOU A WIZARD?

2012-09-11 Reply Admin

Remy Porter:
Garrison Fiord:
You're butt hurt much, Remy?

At least I understand how to use the quote feature in a fashion that doesn't spam the thread with walls-of-unnecessary-text.

By the way, my articles tend to average out to about the 6th grade level. I know this because I actually check that, the Gunning-Fog index, and for word-repetition. You see, I actually do put effort into making readable articles.

But hey, you have a difficult time with content suitable for 12 year-olds. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Buttfrustrated? Butt annihilated? Butt devastated?

10/10 would watch you get trolled again

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