The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

Matt B · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Someone really needs to create a Better Consultants Bureau, to track who all of these shitty consultants are and who is actually worth their quotes.

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Dude where can I hire this guy?

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Eyes + Goggles = nothing.

Seriously, can someone call themselves a developer and not understand what "null" is? And how much was this so-called second highest consultant being paid?

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:

someString = anotherString.ToString().ToString();

Oh, and regarding this... perhaps the second ToString() is in case the first one doesn't work? Maybe triple redundancy is needed here?

connected · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Matt B:
Someone really needs to create a Better Consultants Bureau, to track who all of these shitty consultants are and who is actually worth their quotes.

Agreed.

ParkinT · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

"...figured that the best consultant probably charged the second highest rate..."

Well, obviously, you get what you pay for (or not?!)

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

I want to take that programmer into a small room and do unspeakable things to him. Seriously...... [^o)] WTF?

brazzy · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Making the decision by looking who asks for the second-highest rate is only marginally less idiotic that looking for who asks for the lowest. How about asking gasp technical questions? Like, in an interview for a permanent position? There really shouldn't be much difference when hiring consultants. But ofcourse it requires you to already have at least one person who can ask the right questions and tell well-thought-out answers from buzzword bullshit.

ParkinT · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Matt B:
Someone really needs to create a Better Consultants Bureau, to track who all of these shitty consultants are and who is actually worth their quotes.

As I have always said, "Those who can, do.

Those who can't, sell

and those who can't sell are CONSULTANTS"

{Just a joke, no flames please}

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Alex Papadimoulis:

someString = anotherString.ToString().ToString();

Oh, and regarding this... perhaps the second ToString() is in case the first one doesn't work? Maybe triple redundancy is needed here?

The real WTF is why he didn't do this:

someString = ((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString();

tafs7 · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

He forgot to use the following assignment:

StringBuilder yetAnotherString = new StringBuilder(anotherString);
someString = yetAnotherString.ToString();

ouch....

cconroy · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

I bet his management will think twice the next time an employee says they "have" to go to the hospital.

elwood_j_blues · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Alex Papadimoulis:

someString = anotherString.ToString().ToString();

Oh, and regarding this... perhaps the second ToString() is in case the first one doesn't work? Maybe triple redundancy is needed here?

The real WTF is why he didn't do this:
someString = ((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString();

Dude, that just won't work. You are missing one toString ;)

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:

someString = anotherString.ToString().ToString();

This may be referred to as the Daffy Duck as Robin Hood method of programming:

someString = robinHood.ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip()...;

friarTuck.ROFL = true;

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

I think everyone needs to add another level of WTF to this:

someString = new String(((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString().ToCharArray());

Enjoy :)

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

WTF!!!!

Never thought my code would end up here...

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

This is just poor-man's obfuscation...

GoatCheez · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Alex Papadimoulis:

someString = anotherString.ToString().ToString();

Oh, and regarding this... perhaps the second ToString() is in case the first one doesn't work? Maybe triple redundancy is needed here?

The real WTF is why he didn't do this:
someString = ((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString();

No no no no no.... The REAL WTF is the forum software! lol ;-P
Seriously though... well, not really seriously, but the REAL WTF is why he didn't use an IFormatProvider!

Seeing as this guy was priced as the second highest makes me want to start killing again. ;-)

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Actually to do this correctly, he should've had an isString function to make sure it's a string variable before calling the toString method.

The isString() function would of course return either True, False or FileNotFound.

Disgruntled DBA · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

ToString needs to be overloaded for this to make sense:

anotherString.ToString(true).ToString("No, Really!")

JoeyLemur · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

I have to wonder why core Java just doesn't define String.toString to throw a YouDumbassException...

Hitsuji · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

No i think the best method for copying strings is this, i use it all the time:

string brillantPaulaString = (string)((yetAnotherString.substr(0,yetAnotherString.Length()-1)).ToString());

Or maybe he was just showing off that he knew how to use all the functions of the string class/string casting????

;)

sammybaby · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

This may be referred to as the Daffy Duck as Robin Hood method of programming:

someString = robinHood.ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip()...;

friarTuck.ROFL = true;

That's why my new secure socket factory module has code that reads like this:

def respondToAttack(threat)
   begin
      threat.dodge
      threat.parry
      threat.guard

   rescue SproingError
      Logger.logEntry("SPRRROOOOIINNGGG.")
      self.beak.straighten
   end
end

Rank Amateur · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:

Standard:
Initialize all variables at the point of declaration; null is prefered for reference types and strings while min- and max- values are preferred for value types, e.g. DateTime.MinValue.

string dateStart = "DateTime.MinValue";

No, it has to be this way. I tried DateTime dateStart, but it wouldn't compile.

--Rank

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

This may be referred to as the Daffy Duck as Robin Hood method of programming:

someString = robinHood.ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip()...;

friarTuck.ROFL = true;

You, sir, are my personal ninja for the day. :)

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

sammybaby:

That's why my new secure socket factory module has code that reads like this:

def respondToAttack(threat)
   begin
      threat.dodge
      threat.parry
      threat.guard

   rescue SproingError
      Logger.logEntry("SPRRROOOOIINNGGG.")
      self.beak.straighten
   end
end

you left out thrust and spin.

Dodge! Parry! Thrust! Spin! <sproing>

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Clearly this consultant didn't much like Java's String class--that must be why he's created is own string class. One shudders to think how string.toString() is implemented.

OneFactor · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

sammybaby:
Anonymous:

This may be referred to as the Daffy Duck as Robin Hood method of programming:

someString = robinHood.ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip()...;

friarTuck.ROFL = true;

That's why my new secure socket factory module has code that reads like this:
def respondToAttack(threat)
   begin
      threat.dodge
      threat.parry
      threat.guard   
   rescue SproingError
      Logger.logEntry("SPRRROOOOIINNGGG.")
      self.beak.straighten
   end
end

The best part is how the SproingError still gets thrown even when operating in testing/debug mode with a mock threat.

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

This is Java? I could have sworn this was C#. Oh of course, this would NEVER happen in C#. Maybe this is Better VB.Net.

WTFer · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

I think everyone needs to add another level of WTF to this:
 
someString = new String(((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString().ToCharArray());

Enjoy :)

I'll give it a shot

someString = "" + Convert.ToString(new String(((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString().ToCharArray()));

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Seriously, can someone call themselves a developer and not understand what "null" is? And how much was this so-called second highest consultant being paid?

Too much.

Oliver Klozoff · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Errr.
I can't paste. WTF?

Alex, PLEASE find some new forum software!

Anyway...

"Initialize all variables at time of declaration".

That's one good way to eliminate any chance of compiler catching the use of an uninitalized variable.

(crosses fingers and hopes this post looks ok)

Djinn · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

That really is some poor coding. Advice for Joachim:

If you came back from the hospital with crutches...
   ... please whack this guy repeatedly between the legs

If you came back in a wheelchair...
    ... wheel up on his feet and proceed to beat the crap out him standing up

If they gave you a lot of meds ....
    ... the above two scenarios will be much more fun

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Clearly this consultant didn't much like Java's String class--that must be why he's created is own string class. One shudders to think how string.toString() is implemented.

I don't think this is Java.

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

WTFer:
Anonymous:

I think everyone needs to add another level of WTF to this:
 
someString = new String(((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString().ToCharArray());

Enjoy :)

I'll give it a shot
someString = "" + Convert.ToString(new String(((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString().ToCharArray()));

My addtion:

someString = Convert.ToString("").ToString + Convert.ToString(new String(((string)string.Copy(anotherString.ToString().Clone().ToString()).ToString()).ToString().ToCharArray()));

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

ParkinT:
"...figured that the best consultant probably charged the second highest rate..."

Well, obviously, you get what you pay for (or not?!)

"The second highest rate. . ."

In the Soviet Union, they held a race between a Chevrolet Corvette and a Lada. For those who don't know, a Lada was a Piece-of-shit copy of a Fiat 128, built in the Gulag, and all that.

The Soviet News Agency Tass reported on the race.

"The Lada finished Second"
"The Corvette finished next to last. . ."

hmmmmmm

Stoffel · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:
string docOwnerUsername = "null";

Comedy gold!

R.Flowers · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

Alex Papadimoulis:

someString = anotherString.ToString().ToString();

This may be referred to as the Daffy Duck as Robin Hood method of programming:

someString = robinHood.ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip().ToTrip()...;

friarTuck.ROFL = true;

Now that's funny! [:D] Reading that brought back some good memories...

Strydyr · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

Clearly this consultant didn't much like Java's String class--that must be why he's created is own string class. One shudders to think how string.toString() is implemented.

IMHO, a String class having a .toString method actually does make sense.

Think "late binding", and serialization.

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

my $someString = echo $anotherString;

Mikademus · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Seriously, I can't understand why everyone still seem to be so suprised over things like this. We already know that for every good programmer there are, say, 10 medicore and 100 asshat ones. We also know that managerial knowledge of code and coders is null (pun intended), wherefore they will use other standards for assessing "quality". In short, most code will be bad code. SNAFU rules unimpeded. FUBAR is and will be. Real Programmers will be increasingly disillusioned. News at 11.

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

OMG! I wonder how bad the highest paid consultants WTF's were! I mean he must have been worse!

2006-02-21 Reply Admin

I have to wonder why core Java just doesn't define String.toString to throw a YouDumbassException...

Because sometimes Strings get passed around as Objects, and you want to be able to convert Objects to Strings?

Volmarias · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Actually, while this is pretty dumb, it's not completely dumb.

We're told that he does String foo = bar. Guess what: this passes the reference, at least in Java. Incidentally, this is also the same as String foo = bar.toString() (as toString simply returns a reference to bar). This are NOT the same as String foo = bar.clone(); which creates a COPY of bar and passes the reference of the copy to foo.

However, since there doesn't appear to be a String.Copy method, I have the sinking suspicion that he created a string class, which extends String, just for the sake of lazy typing. I wouldn't be surprised if the Copy method was "return (String)(this.clone());". Actually, strike that. I would be, since that would at least be halfway intelligent. I get the feeling that he's actually creating a new string, then appending each character to it (in the processes, creating a new string each time).

BRB, finding a corner to cry in.

Volmarias · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

his are NOT the same as String foo = bar.clone(); which creates a COPY of bar and passes the reference of the copy to foo.

Typo; meant to write "(String)bar.clone()" instead of "bar.clone()", which would probably give a casting exception as clone returns an Object.

Volmarias · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

God fucking damnit. New forum software w/ preview that works, plz...

BtM · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

ParkinT:

As I have always said, "Those who can, do.
Those who can't, sell
and those who can't sell are CONSULTANTS"

{Just a joke, no flames please}

Flames, hell, I'm putting that on a T-shirt

ZeoS · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:

someString = anotherString.ToString().ToString();

Priceless

eddieboston · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Actually to do this correctly, he should've had an isString function to make sure it's a string variable before calling the toString method.
The isString() function would of course return either True, False or FileNotFound.

Don't forget "null".

cconroy · 2006-02-21 Reply Admin

Rank Amateur:
Alex Papadimoulis:


Standard:
Initialize all variables at the point of declaration; null is prefered for reference types and strings while min- and max- values are preferred for value types, e.g. DateTime.MinValue.




string dateStart = "DateTime.MinValue";

No, it has to be this way. I tried DateTime dateStart, but it wouldn't compile.

That's because you forgot to include

boolean pleaseCompile = true;

Duh.

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