• (disco)

    Yay, duplicate comment topic again. I hadn't seen one of these for a while.

  • (disco) in reply to HardwareGeek

    It's a sign from the Almighty DiscHorse.

  • (disco)

    Delaid creation is delayed?

    Filed under: Please adjust the RTC for time distortion

  • (disco) in reply to Fox
    Fox:
    It's a sign from the Almighty DiscHorse.

    In this case it's proof of @paulabean's brillant code.

  • (disco)

    The other thread, in case it never gets unlisted: https://what.thedailywtf.com/t/apache-chief/51916

  • (disco)

    "... highly-recommended web design consultants to bring its website in to the 21st century."

    There's TRWTF, we need to read no further.

  • (disco) in reply to JBert
    JBert:
    Fox:
    It's a sign from the Almighty DiscHorse.

    In this case it's proof of @paulabean's brillant code.

    Nevertheless, any member of TCotCDCK will assure you every piece of brillant™ code is created with the inspiration of the Almighty DiscHorse, Hollowed Be His Name.

  • (disco)

    Blatant abuse of the session infrastructure. If they'd done the access in one step, it should have held out quite well despite being numbingly stupid.

    session_id('111');
session_start();
$cache = $_SESSION['cache'];
session_write_close(); // they probably forgot this

    If you close the session again, sure it's an unnecessary synchronization on cache access, but it shouldn't hold up the server so badly.

  • (disco)

    Figures, I finally get "Frist" on an article topic, and it ends up being on an unlisted dupe.

  • (disco)

    Am I missing something that makes Spaceballs relevant to this story?

  • (disco) in reply to mikeTheLiar
    mikeTheLiar:
    Am I missing something that makes Spaceballs relevant to this story?
    Well, I wondered about getting from Spaceballs to Skroob, which is Boorks backwards... So maybe the reference is to eMl Boorks's opus Sacebalpls.

    (Second letter moved to third-to-last position, if you must know.)

  • (disco) in reply to mikeTheLiar

    Who says story elements have to have any relevance to the story? :trolleybus:

  • (disco) in reply to PWolff
    PWolff:
    Hollowed

    Hallowed

  • (disco) in reply to Dreikin

    Surry, I nevar get the Lurd's Prayor in Englesh rite eithor.

  • (disco)

    How old was this story that they didn't use one of the many memory caching modules out there instead of doing this? APC has been around since 2003, and that would have handled exactly what they wanted to achieve.

  • (disco)

    They got that technique straight from Chief Lerdorf himself :

    I'm not a real programmer. I throw together things until it works then I move on. The real programmers will say "Yeah it works but you're leaking memory everywhere. Perhaps we should fix that." I’ll just restart Apache every 10 requests.

    https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Rasmus_Lerdorf

  • (disco)

    The amazing new website was ready to be launched in time for the fall semester.

    I read that as:

    The amazing new website was ready to be launched in time for the fail semester.

  • (disco) in reply to Dreikin

    I dunno... Being :minidisc::horse:, I think Hollowed out husk of something is pretty appropriate...

  • (disco) in reply to PWolff
    PWolff:
    Surry, I nevar get the Lurd's Prayor in Englesh rite eithor.

    Sigh. You failed to misspell "I", "get", "the", and "in". Is a little consistency too much to ask?

    dcon:
    I dunno... Being :minidisc::horse:, I think Hollowed out husk of something is pretty appropriate...

    Eh, that horse doesn't appear to be dead just yet.

    maht:
    They got that technique straight from Chief Lerdorf himself :

    I'm not a real programmer. I throw together things until it works then I move on. The real programmers will say "Yeah it works but you're leaking memory everywhere. Perhaps we should fix that." I’ll just restart Apache every 10 requests.

    https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Rasmus_Lerdorf

    Wow. I've heard tell that PHP is TRWTF, but I didn't realize it was TRWTFs all the way down.

  • (disco)

    Paul and his team gave it a thorough beating in their test environment and everything seemed solid

    Paul and his team are TRWTF

  • (disco)

    I don't think that I ever did post the full story.

    https://what.thedailywtf.com/t/closed-poll-its-friday/1033/20

  • (disco) in reply to Dreikin
    Dreikin:
    I've heard tell that PHP is TRWTF, but I didn't realize it was TRWTFs all the way down.

    PHP: a fractal of bad design

    I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.

    You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.

    You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.

    You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.

    And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.

    Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.

    That’s what’s wrong with PHP.

    Clbuttic.

  • (disco) in reply to flabdablet

    I will have you know that I made a simple web-based monitoring system for network-connected Arduino-based devices using PHP, and it worked perfectly fine after a month of staring at code wondering things like why socket_create() wasn't creating sockets.

  • (disco) in reply to Fox
    Fox:
    socket_create()

    real_socket_create_this_time_for_sure()?

  • (disco) in reply to HardwareGeek
    HardwareGeek:
    real_socket_create_this_time_for_sure()

    For sure takes a socket and creates a real within it, depending on the system's discotime™.

  • (disco) in reply to PWolff
    PWolff:
    Almighty DiscHorse, Hollowed Be His Name
    A hollowed horse? Is that like a Trojan Horse?
    Filed under: [Well, Discourse *does* act like a malignant virus...](#hallowed)

    Ed It!: kinda :hanzo:'d

  • (disco) in reply to lolwhat
    lolwhat:
    Almighty DiscHorse, Hollowed Be His Name.

    Our Discourse who art in the cloud Hollowed be thy name, Thy cooties come, thy won't be done, In IE as it is in Chrome. Give is this day our daily jellypotato, and forgive us our griping, as we forgive those who praise your glory. Lead us not into Jeff, but deliver us from Community Server. For Thine is the Cooties, the Jellypotato and the Jeff, Now and Forever. -Amen

  • (disco)

    None of this would have happened if they had gone with the Cherokee consultants instead.

  • (disco) in reply to dcon
    dcon:
    I dunno... Being :minidisc::horse:, I think Hollowed out husk of something is pretty appropriate...
    [The name of the song is called "Haddocks' Eyes."][1]

    Filed under: Metalanguage Also filed under: Autonymy

  • (disco) in reply to silentd
    silentd:
    None of this would have happened if they had gone with the Cherokee consultants instead.

    The consultants had done this using a single, global, monster PHP session.

    Don't think Java would have saved them from their stupidity.

  • (disco) in reply to mikeTheLiar

    I'm going to go with no, you're not. Actually the most WTFy thing in this story was Charles Robinson's apparently sincere belief that shoehorning all the Spaceballs references into it made it more enjoyable to read.

    Once again, a reminder for the humor-challenged dimbulbs running this site: We come here for the technical WTFs, not your hamfisted attempts at punching them up.

  • (disco) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    We come here for the technical WTFs, not your hamfisted attempts at punching them up.

    Well no, not all of us. Some of us come for both, and some come for neither.

  • (disco) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    Actually the most WTFy thing in this story was Charles Robinson's apparently sincere belief that shoehorning all the Spaceballs references into it made it more enjoyable to read.
    Speak for yourself. I liked them.
  • (disco)

    All these "web designers" and "web developers" make PHP look worse than it is. Yes, it's a fractal of bad design and has a lot of historical cruft with it but a skilled actual developer can do nice things with it when you know what shit to avoid and how to get the most out of it.

    These HPCs were idiots. Period.

    flabdablet:
    Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.

    I can build a nice house with a shitty toolbox. You can whack that nail in with the double clawed PHP hammer sideways and the nail is just fine.

    You don't judge the house based on the toolbox but the result. PHP is still shit though.

    :hanzo:'d

  • (disco) in reply to hifi
    hifi:
    I can build a nice house with a shitty toolbox

    So can I, but if you give me a shit tool box and tell me to build a house, given half a chance i'll nip out to my car on my first break and grab my better toolbox.

  • (disco) in reply to hifi
    hifi:
    a skilled actual developer can do nice things with it

    A skilled actual developer can do nice things with any old programming system. A system is bad when it is so full of traps that it has a high probability of leading developers off into the weeds of bad programming, whether they realise that that's what they're doing or not.

  • (disco) in reply to accalia

    Oh, oh! Is it time for a :fire::facepunch: about which is worse, PHP or JS? :stuck_out_tongue:

  • (disco) in reply to Onyx
    Onyx:
    which is worse, PHP or JS?

    Yes.

  • (disco) in reply to Onyx
    Onyx:
    Oh, oh! Is it time for a :fire::facepunch: about which is worse, PHP or JS? :stuck_out_tongue:

    JS would win in a fair few competitions, PHP would get a couple, the rest would tie.

    if i bring in C# and Python that i also have in my toolbox PHP wouldn't win any of the rounds.

  • (disco) in reply to accalia

    Python looks stupid and C# is a poopy-face?

  • (disco) in reply to Onyx
    Onyx:
    Python looks stupid and C# is a poopy-face?

    compelling arguments.

    :rofl:

  • (disco) in reply to accalia

    What did you expect, me defending PHP?

    I'm not that delusional. Yet.

  • (disco) in reply to hifi
    hifi:
    You don't judge the house based on the toolbox but the result

    I think the point of that paragraph was more about judging the carpenters.

  • (disco) in reply to flabdablet

    Hmmm....

    Global variables need a global declaration before they can be used. This is a natural consequence of the above, so it would be perfectly reasonable, except that globals can’t even be read without an explicit declaration—PHP will quietly create a local with the same name, instead. I’m not aware of another language with similar scoping issues.

    How is this an "issue"? How many global variables do you want?

  • (disco) in reply to Watson
    Watson:
    How many
    ALL OF THEM!!!
  • (disco) in reply to Tsaukpaetra

    Local variables are :doing_it_wrong: If everything is global, you can't have any memory leaks, and your program runs faster because it doesn't have to waste time dealing with declaring local variables all the time. Plus, with everything being global, your program has a larger audience. [spoiler]:trolleybus:[/spoiler]

  • (disco) in reply to Tsaukpaetra
    Tsaukpaetra:
    ALL OF THEM!!! 
    extract($GLOBALS);

    If Perl is a language it's possible to swear in, PHP is clearly designed for making bad jokes.

  • (disco) in reply to Scarlet_Manuka
    Scarlet_Manuka:
    Speak for yourself. I liked them.

    You are why we can't have nice things.

  • (disco) in reply to Zylon

    Why were you expecting nice things here? This is a site about not-nice things.

  • (disco) in reply to accalia
    accalia:
    if i bring in C# and Python that i also have in my toolbox PHP wouldn't win any of the rounds.

    It would win the round called "Must work on LAMP". The game is rigged :smile:

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