• NedFodder (disco)

    “Well, he is very good. He interviewed at Google, you know,”

    Well, I am very smart. I applied to Harvard, you know.

  • Shoreline (disco) in reply to NedFodder
    Well, he is very good. He interviewed at Google, you know
    NedFodder:
    Well, I am very smart. I applied to Harvard, you know.

    Because this is the comment we need, but not the one we deserve.

    Bonus WTF: How did you manage to post a comment 10 days before the article was published? Are you The Doctor?

  • aliceif (disco) in reply to Shoreline
    Shoreline:
    How did you manage to post a comment 10 days before the article was published?

    Watching the category and not missing the notification.

  • giammin (disco) in reply to Shoreline

    he is very smart!

  • foxyshadis (disco)

    Good to hear that Paula is doing well after all these years, and pulled through her reassignment with no trouble at all. Attagirl.

  • loose (disco) in reply to foxyshadis

    Oh no, it is far worse than that. Mr and Mrs Bean must be found in the past by using Time Cops, Loopers or Terminators. Anything. They have been breeding brillance, which is now taking effect and will become unstoppable! Mr & Mrs Bean must be awarded, by force if necessary, the ultimate Darwin Award with ruthless efficiency i.e. Before either Mr or Mrs Bean (nee FILE_NOT_FOUND) discovered that their pee pee things were capable of doing other things.

  • Jaloopa (disco) in reply to loose
    loose:
    Mr & Mrs Bean
    [image]
  • gleemonk (disco)

    Deleting code because it looks unreachable or useless? Well I never... got rid of the habit. Neither would I want to. It's a carefully cultured habit. It's called tending your garden.

    Now this guy should have probably spent more time on trying to understand what the code does. And if the deleted code actually had comments explaining why its there, then there is no sympathy left. Of course, that's all before knowing that he'd deleted code to make the rest run faster, the optimizing prick. Fuck that guy.

  • loose (disco) in reply to Jaloopa

    EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! RESISTANCE IS USELESS.

    :wtf: Where the f^)$ did those stairs come from? They were not there when we done the recky, we weren't told about them. How the heck are we going to complete our mission?

  • WernerCD (disco) in reply to giammin
    giammin:
    he is very smart!

    You can't say that... he isn't smart... He is BRILLIANT!

  • accalia (disco) in reply to WernerCD
    WernerCD:
    You can't say that... he isn't smart... He is BRILLANT!

    PTFY

  • Eldelshell (disco)

    I did interview at Google, and Amazon, and a bunch of other places, so that makes me some sort of guru? Most stupid idea today.

  • operagost (disco) in reply to NedFodder

    Pfft. I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  • Developer_Dude (disco)

    Dunning–Kruger effect

  • Zylon (disco)

    The team's new bug-found catchphrase is “Uh, no! You’re not!”? Eh?

  • DJSpudplucker (disco) in reply to Eldelshell

    Does it count if a Google recruiter just messaged me on LinkedIn?

  • accalia (disco) in reply to DJSpudplucker

    only if they messaged you using Jeff Bezos's linked in account

    [spoiler]Yes, i know he's amazon, not google. THAT's THE JOKE[/spoiler]

  • martin (disco)

    So... He deleted production code here and there and all tests still passed?

    Or they found out when ftping the code to the production server and the destination file was larger?

  • cheong (disco) in reply to martin

    If he also deleted the tests altogether... :facepalm:

  • Jaloopa (disco) in reply to cheong
    cheong:
    If he also deleted the tests altogether

    I’m writing compiler-efficient code. If you don’t understand how the compiler turns your tests into machine instructions, you’re never going to write an efficient program! That’s why I’ve been cleaning up your tests

  • PWolff (disco)
    “E-commerce” just doesn’t have the *ring* it once did.

    Of course it doesn't, after the ring's lord has been melted in the volcano fire.

    Jaloopa:
    I’m writing compiler-efficient code.

    Meh. Real programmers use assembler. That's waaaaay more efficient than any compiler efficiency in hihg-level code ever could be. And real real programmers program their machines directly in hex.

  • aliceif (disco)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • kupfernigk (disco) in reply to PWolff

    So I stopped being a real real programmer when I finally got the macro assembler going? correct, because after that I was just a code monkey. Well, the boss thought so.

  • Yamikuronue (disco) in reply to martin
    martin:
    all tests still passed?

    You're funny

  • loose (disco)

    I used to program by moving wires around on a circuit board. Then we had the technical break though of a Patch Board

  • FullPointerException (disco)

    How to software:

    1. Hire a new person
    2. Don't review their code at all
    3. ???
    4. Profit
  • RFoxmich (disco) in reply to Yamikuronue

    all tests still passed?

    There were tests? Brilliant people don't need to run tests. Their code just works the first time.

  • Zemm (disco) in reply to RFoxmich

    Yep. Edit the file and commit without even running it. Nothing could possibli go wrong!

  • PWolff (disco)

    As everybody knows, computers can't make mistaykes!

    So why don't we just use computers to develop software?

  • cheong (disco) in reply to Jaloopa

    You know what, I know how to write processor efficient code too. (That's one step above compiler efficient code)

    Since "no code" runs fastest, I'll delete all your code so the execution will be finished in no time. :trollface:

  • dkf (disco) in reply to cheong

    There are great ways to optimise the test running times in that case too!

  • Watson (disco) in reply to loose

    ELEVATE! [image]

  • kupfernigk (disco) in reply to NedFodder
    NedFodder:
    Well, I am very smart. I applied to Harvard, you know.

    Well, I went to Cambridge. And what it taught me was, there are an awful lot of people a lot more intelligent than I am.

  • kupfernigk (disco) in reply to PWolff
    PWolff:
    As everybody knows, computers can't make mistaykes!

    You have obviously forgotten the original Intel 486, which not only could make floating point mistakes, it could do it faster than any other readily available microprocessor.

  • NedFodder (disco) in reply to kupfernigk
    kupfernigk:

    Well, I went to Cambridge. And what it taught me was, there are an awful lot of people a lot more intelligent than I am.

    The secret to success is not being the smartest person in the room, it's knowing who the smartest person in the room is.

  • Eldelshell (disco) in reply to NedFodder
    NedFodder:
    The secret to success is not being the smartest person in the room, it's knowing who the smartest person in the room is.

    And their secrets.

  • RFoxmich (disco) in reply to PWolff
    Comment held for moderation.
  • dkf (disco) in reply to NedFodder
    NedFodder:
    The secret to success is not being the smartest person in the room, it's knowing who the smartest person in the room is.

    The secret to success is making sure someone else in the room is going to do the hard work and take the blame while you scoop up the credit.

  • PWolff (disco) in reply to kupfernigk
    kupfernigk:
    You have obviously forgotten the original Intel 486, which not only could make floating point mistakes, it could do it faster than any other readily available microprocessor.
    That was before the International Mathematicians' Association redefined the multiplication of real numbers based on those epoch-making results. Btw, wasn't that the 585.99998278681405?
    cheong:
    Since "no code" runs fastest, I'll delete all your code so the execution will be finished in no time.
    Reminds me of something I didn't find the source to: - Every program contains at least one line of code that doesn't work. - Every program can be shortened by one line - Corollary: Every program can be reduced to one line that doesn't work.
    NedFodder:
    The secret to success is not being the smartest person in the room, it's knowing who the smartest person in the room is.
    Not even this is necessary. They who has the skill to convince others of their skills doesnt't need any other skill.

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