• Bob (unregistered)

    Sixth!

  • A Robot (unregistered)

    Sirth!

  • Quite (unregistered)

    Sexth! Er, hang on, why can't I connect to the internet?

  • (nodebb)

    WTF? There is not WTF in the story! ;-)

  • MiserableOldGit (unregistered)

    I recall one place where we had Angry-faced MD McAngryFace charge in one evening complaining how productivity was down due to people goofing off and he wanted to see all the web logs and all the internal email traffic so he fire someone.

    This was a long time ago, and a smallish firm, so there wasn't any of the monitoring we'd routinely expect now, and the two techies he shouted at didn't really clock the privacy issues.

    Anyways, they got everything set up pretty quickly and at the end of the first day uncovered (from the email logs) at least four office romances (one of them a love triangle), a multitude of other naughtiness and (from the web traffic) all kinds of eye-watering stuff, but the cherry was McAngryFace himself had spent most of the day booking prostitutes for his next business trip to Thailand.

    The rubber-spined IT manager buried it all and pretended it wasn't "technically possible" to deliver the logs requested with the equipment we had. Got him a budget for new toys, but I reckon blackmail would have been more efficient.

  • TheCPUWizard (unregistered)

    Years ago [at the dawn of Internet/Web awareness] a company had an issue [bandwidth consumption]. It was determined to be from browsing of NSFW sites. So a list was posted hoping to shame people into stopping. Not surprised (though management was) when these site spiked through the roof as it became a competition to see how could get their favorite sites listed highest on the (daily updated) chart....

  • Leo (unregistered)

    Let's see if I understood correctly. The guy watches PornHub from 9:30 to 16:00, and the sales have to be closed at 17:00? Well he still has an hour left, what could go wrong?

  • Patrick (unregistered) in reply to MiserableOldGit

    Who the hell books prostitutes for a trip to Thailand in advance? It'd be like booking sand for your trip to the Sahara.

  • Scott (unregistered)

    TRWTF is Makoto accepting a manager position when that's not what she wants.

    When it was hinted at that I should be a manager-type, my response was, "No. Fuck, no".

  • MiserableOldGit (unregistered) in reply to Patrick

    I wondered, either he liked to "order in" the room service or he had very special tastes.

  • H3adshot (unregistered)

    He was just a sales guy. He overlooked the fact that you can not hide anything. Next time he should have used mifi. Or better yet stop pleasuring himself during company time.

  • Wolf (unregistered)

    Many years ago, a co-worker and I had to stay late after work to remote (pcAnywhere) into some equipment that was having issues (generating lots of crash reports), and running real slow.

    The screen came back with Internet Explorer opened to several tabs of hard core porn being frantically closed, then all the pop-behind enhancement drug ads being frantically closed. (As I recall, pcAnywhere popped up something in the tool bar saying that you are sharing your screen).

    Me and my co-worker looked at each other. "I think we found the problem." ;)

    I opened up NotePad and typed: "Please stop using this machine to browse porn, Thanks!" Not sure if they saw it or not. ;)

    My guess is that someone on the night cleaning crew found out how to crash the main app in such a way that it dropped back to windows, so they could browse the internet... on industrial equipment.

    We had the company wipe the machine and restore a clean system image, and also informed them how to lock down the machines when not in use. ;)

  • MaxArt (unregistered)

    This isn't legit.

    PornHub is a company with a really skilled IT department. They don't just let viruses pass by.

    Or maybe PornHub wasn't enough for the guy and he browsed something else too.

  • Vic (unregistered)

    I worked at a company where the web developers for our group were paged when there were problems with any web site at the company, even those to which we didn't have access. Early one morning I got the dreaded page from a subsidiary which used a site I wasn't even aware of. The very angry VP said we'd been hacked, and the web site had porn.

    After franticly trying to find the people actually responsible for that site, and finding that the site was ok, the problem was resolved - the VP had visited a site which had "pop-under" ads to porn sites.

  • ICS Security (unregistered) in reply to Wolf

    Internet access from an industrial system?!? Never mind the missing desktop lockdown. Such systems shouldn't even be able to resolve DNS queries outside the LAN. Maybe a whitelisting proxy for updates, but automatic updates is usually not something you want on such systems anyway.

  • Herby (unregistered)

    All of this goes under the heading "Be careful what you ask for, you may just get it!".

  • Theoretically (unregistered) in reply to MaxArt

    I have no experience with this particular site as far as profiling the virus/adware/spyware that it may serve up, but the ads that popup on just about any site aren't generally under the control of that site's IT admins. It wouldn't surprise me that a popup lead to an infection of some sort. However, just the fact that they were able to show he had been on the internet at 9:30, what site he was on was unimportant. Adding in that maybe it was a virus from that site was merely a way to get back at him for how he had come at her. He may not have gotten a virus at all...

  • Goober (unregistered)

    I once spent several hours verifying 45 pages of proxy logs after someone complained their manager was browsing porn on a company computer. Most of them were obviously porn, some I had to go to their home page to be certain (and I was told to be certain).

    This was less than two weeks after I had had a conversation with said manager about "if you do it on my network, I have logs of it."

    The creepy part was that he liked to print out the best stuff - in black & white - and keep it in the bottom drawer of the file cabinet. The other employees called it "the porn drawer" till we closed that location.

  • Abe Z. (unregistered)

    TRWTF is Jane Bailey: Hoping to explain the discrepancy, she unplugged her laptop. This time, the adorable kittens failed to load. Success! she told the empty office. This is officially some weird wi-fi problem.

    Weird? Really?! Weird!?!?

  • (nodebb) in reply to Abe Z.

    Indeed, it might be a perfectly ordinary WiFi problem...

  • nb (unregistered) in reply to MiserableOldGit

    We had a lovely incident at my former employer. One of the managers was hellbent on seeing all the logs from everyone's machines in the lab I worked in. Quick backstory: Most everyone was on a dual monitor setup, most everyone had FB open on one monitor as a half screen (I had /., but whatever), our tests would take about 3 min to run and it was obvious when they were done.
    Manager McManagerface was convinced that because these windows were open that everyone was wasting oodles of time and not working. Even when presented the math of how long each test took and how many tests that meant could possibly be done in a day (12 * [3min exec + 2 min setup] == 60. 12 * 8 == 96, accounting for zero time between tests) you could conceivably do 96 tests per shift: With NO meetings, NO interruptions from McManagerface asking "how's it going", and superhuman levels of reaction to get everything perfect every time, and memorizing the data results to enter while the next test was running, said manager still pressed that the average of high 70's was way too low.

    Okay, back to the story... Soooo Manager McManagerface was trying to get IT to hand over everyone's logs. As the most senior tech in the lab I called a confidential contact in IT and told him what was going on. He said he already knew, and that IT had refused the request because it was private information and the manager did not have a valid business justification for it. Manager McManagerface cries to his boss. Boss DeBigBoss pulls some strings, rattles some closeted skeletons, and manages to get everyone's logs for the lab... Including Manager McManagerface's... Who was fired about 3 days later because guess who spent literally 6 hours a day browsing his home security cameras and day trading on some stock platform?

    Of course the edict also came down that there was to be NO personal browsing on our machines when in the lab; in spite of the corp acceptable use policy specifically allowing it. Meh, we all switched to our phones shortly.

  • t0pC0der (unregistered) in reply to Abe Z.

    The Real WTF is that I keep expecting these articles to get funny, or witty. They never do, these are as bad as the Hanzo stories. Go back to your "urban fantasy novels" where women the dowry for your wedding would be your weight in gold and a jackass

  • Gargravarr (unregistered)

    The first rule of misusing the company internet connection is not to draw attention to yourself.

    If IT have to dig into your logs for any reason, you deserve everything that suddenly heads your way :)

  • Gargravarr (unregistered) in reply to Theoretically

    The way I interpretted it was:

    -Sales idiot catches wind of a 'network problem' -Sales idiot figures he can blame it on IT and goof off (or fap) the whole day -He then waits until the last hour of the day and uses it as an excuse for not doing his work, making IT look bad in the process -Backfire

  • (nodebb)

    Oh spammer Adam Renny, you are good.

  • eric bloedow (unregistered)

    a similar story comes to mind: a manager found out that employees had been playing a videogame called "command and conquer" on company machines. so he decided to remove it...but since he knew nothing about computers, he simply deleted every file and folder that had "command" in the name-including an essential Windows folder, "command.com"...yep, EVERY computer in the COMPANY had to have Windows reinstalled!

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