• Jeddix (disco)

    Frist?!

  • aliceif (disco)

    Who is Lyle?

  • VinDuv (disco) in reply to aliceif
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Eldelshell (disco)

    ShipPoint's CTO and his twisted worshipers dogs me still

    What?

    "They want us to focus on new deploying new features."

    OK...

    I shall coax Rob back into software development, and together we shall go to marvel-shadowed ShipPoint. We shall take the bus out to that brooding industrial park by the sea and dive down through black abysses of code to the Cyclopean and many-columned database, and in that lair of the Expert Beginners we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory for ever.

    Totally lost here.

    Anyway, good read. Thanks!

  • Roaders (disco)

    I love Daily WTF but I got bored reading this one halfway through and gave up.

    TOO LONG. also the oldy worldsy writing made it harder and longer to read.

    I'm afraid it was too much effort to read so I gave up...

  • Zacrath (disco)

    I was expecting more for the Halloween article. I doubt many people will bother to read this.

    Oh well… Happy turn off your lights and pretend you're not home day everyone!

  • boomzilla (disco) in reply to Eldelshell
    Eldelshell:
    Totally lost here.

    Lovecraftian purple prose.

  • Jaloopa (disco)

    My surprise was considerate

    Nice to know your surprise wasn't nasty.

    There seem to be some good WTFs in here, but the writing style lends itself to skipping the second hapf of each paragraph and eventually the rest of the article.

  • DocMonster (disco)
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  • ceiswyn (disco)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • aliceif (disco) in reply to DocMonster

    You should really get a better selfie camera. Everything looks weirdly interlaced and miscolourized on your author photo.

  • Hanzo (disco)

    I half expected this to turn out like some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, where Mr. Marsh would finally be revealed to be no other than Rob, or perhaps Jack. Good read (apart from the last paragraph).

  • Nutster (disco)

    Something I found weird in the story was that at the end it seems like you wanted to try to go back to the company you just left. I have been in the position where a position opens in a former employer that I am qualified for, but I have no illusions that I am going to find employment there.

  • Adam_Jorgensen (disco) in reply to Nutster
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  • Shoreline (disco)

    The company's existence sounds like an abomination unto Charles Darwin.

  • Polygeekery (disco)

    Someone got a thesaurus for their birthday. There are a lot of $40 words in there where $4 ones would do just fine.

  • Yamikuronue (disco) in reply to Polygeekery
    Intercourse:
    Someone got a thesaurus for their birthday

    Yeah, and his name was H.P Lovecraft XD

    (Fun fact: we have a line drawing of him up in the hallway for some reason at work)

  • Shawn_Brown (disco)

    Y'all forced me to create an account just to applaud the author for their HP style! It was a fun read!

  • boomzilla (disco) in reply to Shawn_Brown

    Yes, that's the first step to losing your sanity.

  • Polygeekery (disco) in reply to Yamikuronue
    Yamikuronue:
    Yeah, and his name was H.P Lovecraft XD

    He has been dead since 1937, so I seriously doubt he wrote this article. :stuck_out_tongue:

    Fun fact: Lovecraft is intriguing to read, this I stopped half way through because I was bored.

  • boomzilla (disco) in reply to Polygeekery
    Intercourse:
    Fun fact: Lovecraft is intriguing to read, this I stopped half way through because I was bored.

    I was hoping for a glorious shaggy dog ending.

  • Polygeekery (disco) in reply to Yamikuronue

    OK, so I slogged through the rest of it. Calling that Lovecraftian is a bit of an insult to HP. At the end of a Lovecraft novel, you mostly knew what had happened. At the end of that contrived bit of writing I was just left wondering, "WTF was the point of that?" The point of the story is lost behind a mass of pointlessly contrived words. I found not Cthulu, only "WTF?"

  • DocMonster (disco) in reply to Nutster

    I did not write the submission in the Lovecraft style so I cannot take credit for that. In the original submission, I wrote it like a regular story; I'm pretty sure I had different names for the people too but as I said I submitted it like a year and a half ago so I can't 100% remember and lost my original version :frowning: . I did however coin the name, because I had just read the Shadow Over Innsmouth ;)

    I did not want to go back, that was added by TDWTF as a homage to the Shadow Over Innsmouth as mentioned before. It does still haunt me though, probably because Mr. Marsh just took a dump on my skills during the firing meeting and made me feel like a crappy developer.

    I didn't add it to the story though but I heard from Rob before he left that they hired a guy to replace me, and that guy quit after 2 days because the code was so terrible. That gave me a laugh. Also the fact that they have like a 1 star rating on Glassdoor (I will not give the real name of the company) and at one point purged all the negative ratings.

  • Keith (disco) in reply to DocMonster
    DocMonster:
    It does still haunt me though, probably because Mr. Marsh just took a dump on my [s]skills[/s] face during the firing meeting and made me feel [s]like[/s] a crappy developer.

    I've edited that so that your original version seems less distressing in comparison.


    Filed under: You're welcome.

  • zxms (disco)

    Although the article was a bit long I loved the HP Lovecraft writing style. I did not get "bored" halfway through as apparently half the other commenters did. Anyway, awesome job!

  • Adam_Jorgensen (disco) in reply to zxms

    Yeah...this boredom thing makes me wonder about the quality of coders in this day and age ;-)

  • Keith (disco) in reply to Adam_Jorgensen
    Adam_Jorgensen:
    Yeah...this boredom thing makes me wonder about the quality of coders in this day and age

    We're too used to refactoring into small units of functionality so that we only have to deal with three or four lines at a time.

  • Polygeekery (disco) in reply to Adam_Jorgensen
    Adam_Jorgensen:
    Yeah...this boredom thing makes me wonder about the quality of coders in this day and age

    Are you the person who wrote this? I will assume so?

    I appreciate what you were trying to do, but there is no suspense. There will be no horrific sea creature at the end, just a WTF in code or business practices. If you have a huge buildup, you need an equally big payoff. In this case, for me, there was no suspense. Nothing to pull me in. Nothing personal. I just found it contrived and boring.

  • cellocgw (disco) in reply to Polygeekery

    Well, that's inflation for you.

    Personally I go for the $40,000, cask-aged, single-malt words myself.

  • KentBunn (disco)

    Slogging through the overly "literate" writing got to be too much, and I quit. The writer was far too infatuated with his own cleverness at mimicry. And far too un-clever, frankly.

  • foobar (disco) in reply to DocMonster

    TRWTF is a Lovecraft-esque tale that completely lacks the word SQUAMOUS.

  • Zainab58 (disco) in reply to ceiswyn
    ceiswyn:
    I've read enough Lovecraft that I had no issues with it.
    Really? Lovecraft would never have committed the abomination of using "prior" as an adverb ("after joining the company a decade prior").

    And where's the arcane vocabulary? Surely something in the office could have been described as "rugose" or "chthonic".

  • CoyneTheDup (disco)

    Definitely a hi-Q Halloween horror story.

  • Masaaki_Hosoi (disco)

    I find it strange that some people don't understand the story. It takes a little effort, I admit, but I understand pretty well what happened.

  • Steeldragon (disco) in reply to ceiswyn

    that is an awesome parody and summarization of the story.

  • Groaner (disco)
    When I opened the solution containing Jack's jealously-guarded back-end code, obfuscated though it was behind incomprehensible names like "Solution1" and "MvcProject4", only then did I begin to grasp the horror that had taken root beneath the facade of a UI redesign. I saw them in a limitless stream—flopping, hopping, croaking, bleating—surging inhumanly through the spectral moonlight in a grotesque, malignant saraband of fantastic nightmare! That interminable list of poorly-implemented features, its shapeless mass extending blasphemous profusions in all directions throughout the code. It seemed to surge and breathe even as I watched...

    Show us, don't tell us.

    Walter and Arthur leaving is the point I'd consider the handwriting on the wall.

  • DocMonster (disco) in reply to Groaner

    It was, just like a naive idiot I believed that I was going to be made the lead/manager after we rebuilt the team. I actually turned down an offer on Arthur's last day, or it would have been three developers in three consecutive weeks (Walter gave one week notice, on his last day Arthur gave one week notice, on Arthur's last day I got an offer but declined)

    Also that part was fabricated by TDWTF, Jack did not have incomprehensible names for projects or jealously guarded the back-end code at all. He was just lazy and didn't want to do anything to improve the code, in part because his modus operandi was finishing tasks that Mr. Marsh asked for in a short amount of time due to cutting corners everywhere. We often talked that if Jack had taken more of an architect role and offered guidance instead of working against everyone else, it would have been a great team since Jack knew most of the innards of the system, having written most of it with Jimmy.

    The Lead/Guiding Hand: Me The Architect: Jack The Workhorse: Walter The Smart Guy: Arthur

    We could have really improved things. Instead, Jack just didn't want to do anything that Mr. Marsh might not approve of because "he's the boss" and that included changing things to improve our turnaround down the road.

  • Zylon (disco)

    Another one for the "I only made it halfway through that self-indulgent mess and gave up" crowd. And I like Lovecraft.

  • Groaner (disco) in reply to DocMonster
    DocMonster:
    It was, just like a naive idiot I believed that I was going to be made the lead/manager after we rebuilt the team.

    Not faulting you for it, I've stayed at a few engagements a lot longer than I should have. Hindsight is 20/20 and all.

    DocMonster:
    I actually turned down an offer on Arthur's last day, or it would have been three developers in three consecutive weeks

    Ouch.

    DocMonster:
    We could have really improved things. Instead, Jack just didn't want to do anything that Mr. Marsh might not approve of because "he's the boss" and that included changing things to improve our turnaround down the road.

    I've heard a lot of lame justifications for technical debt, and my response is usually that at some point, technical debt will prevent changing anything at all, including paid work that's queueing up. The architecture doesn't need to be pretty, but there at least needs to be some semblance of order, or some plan to get there.

  • berend (disco)

    What I don't get is why oh why do people stay at a company like that? After knowing they're not interested in refactoring, don't use version control, and you never get to see the CTO you know it's time to leave. You're just wasting your time.

  • DocMonster (disco) in reply to berend

    The never seeing the CTO part was added by TDWTFnand didn't actually happen (nor was it in my original submission). We always saw him, his office was right next to the developer area. For the rest I figured they just had never had someone knowledgable about that stuff and I could fix things. Doubly so after I was told I would be promoted to manager.

  • Adam_Jorgensen (disco) in reply to Polygeekery

    Did you fail reading or something.

    Article was by Dan J.

    Am I Dan. J?

    I am not!

  • greek49 (disco)

    Personally, I just loved it. It was a brilliant piece in the style of H.P. Lovecraft. It wasn't too long and all the edits by TDWTF seemed to just enhance it. If you don't get the ending then maybe Lovecraft just isn't for you. Where can I find more like it and when's your next piece coming out? I'm definitely a fan.

  • Polygeekery (disco) in reply to Adam_Jorgensen

    Then maybe you shouldn't go acting like the fucking mayor's wife.

  • Adam_Jorgensen (disco) in reply to Polygeekery

    How r00d.

  • Jaloopa (disco) in reply to Adam_Jorgensen
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  • PJH (disco) in reply to Jaloopa

    ◔_◔

  • JBert (disco) in reply to Adam_Jorgensen
    Adam_Jorgensen:
    How r00d.
    At least he didn't call you a B*****n, that would have been excessive.
  • boomzilla (disco) in reply to Polygeekery
    Comment held for moderation.
  • AFBerendsen (disco) in reply to DocMonster

    Inglês não é o meu idioma materno mas eu adorei ler este artigo. Eu não posso acreditar que estejam reclamando da dificuldade de ler este texto....

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