• troll (unregistered)

    <a href="#frist>

  • someone (unregistered)

    Are you seriously proposing "blockchain" as a solution to something? I've yet to see an application where one is actually necessary or even helpful in any capacity.

  • Little Bobby Tables (unregistered)

    Reputable high-class entities deliver tote bags as the swag of choice. Tote bags are brilliant. Then you can swan around your supermarket of choice bragging to the universe that your job is so much better than that of everybody else -- in a way that a T-shirt just does not do.

  • Anon (unregistered)

    So, basically like chuck-e-cheese. Or wheel of Fortune in the 80's.

  • akozakie (unregistered)

    Excuse me, but how is this CodeSOD?

  • someone (unregistered) in reply to akozakie

    Oh, now I get it.

    The Snippet is Mark's Solidity, and naturally the WTF is anything involving blockchain/smart contracts.

    I thought the wider tech community was finally realising the there's nothing the vaguely-defined "blockchain" can solve efficiently, but I guess not.

  • beef (unregistered)

    So... 1. Where is error'd? 2. Why is Blockchain Capitalized? 3. Why is this a CodeSOD? 4. Why did I take the time to write this?

  • (nodebb) in reply to someone

    But if you don't use a blockchain, how are you going to collect that sweet sweet money from VCs?

  • VinDuv (unregistered)

    When I got my CS engineering diploma, I also got some swag from a consulting company which was sponsoring our year group. It included a USB key that worked exactly once before shorting itself out.

  • RLB (unregistered)

    Mark... get a grip. And a punctuation checker.

  • (nodebb)

    I would absolutely attend a presentation on hybridized lizards in the cloud if they threw in a pen.

  • (nodebb)

    I woke up optimistic that I would be greeted with a sweet, sweet Error'd to bless my Friday. But instead you give us that useless attempt at a rant, together with a 'blockchain'?

    Also, your GitHub link is broken.

  • Kashim (unregistered) in reply to tharpa

    "Hybridized lizards in the cloud"... so, Pterodactyls that we have cloned using partial DNA and the DNA of their closest non-extinct relative (birds)?

    I would attend a presentation on that in a heartbeat, pen or not.

  • Old Fart (unregistered)

    I've been to a lot of conferences over the years. I don't even bother with the booths anymore, except for the ones with LEGO giveaways or candy. I get hungry during sessions and I need candy. My big complaint is the shirts. Vendors only ever bring sizes S/M/L, with one or two XLs.

    Also, enough with the damn blockchain. No more blockchain. Just stop it. Stop now. No one anywhere should ever mention blockchain again.

    blockchain...

  • The90sWereBetter (unregistered)

    If those are your best examples for conference swag, you make me miss the 90s. When lots of free money was floating around, we got much better swag.

  • Joel B (unregistered)

    Would it be possible to buy one of those "pear programmer" or "bug wrangler" t-shirts?

  • RichP (unregistered) in reply to The90sWereBetter

    I don't remember much great swag (lots of pens and some funky multicolored highlighters), but I remember a big trade show ca. 1997 where I tried out a rock climbing tower in the middle of the convention center floor. I think that same show also had enough booths with putting greens to equal a pretty expansive miniature golf course.

  • (nodebb)

    I used to be in the Sales department of a distributor that sold products from hundreds of vendors. We constantly had internal "trade show" type setups where we would walk around, interact with the vendors, and collect some swag. If it was pens, T-shirts, candy, post-its, or any other typical paraphernalia, I would try to collect some stuff without making eye contact. If there were flyers I would grab at least one and pretend to look interested. Those went in the bag too, but they were easy to throw away all at once.

    I left that department nineteen years ago. I still sleep in a few of the T-shirts. It's nice having free clothes that you can get dirty. I think I'm set with post-its for life, largely because the supply lasted until taking notes on a phone or tablet became practical. I still have a few of the little clips for attaching an ID bag to my belt.

    But the pens ran out about ten years ago. Like the post-its, they're less important, but they disappear. So if you're getting too many pens, send them to me.

  • Bruce W (unregistered)

    Ah vendor swag... Back in the late 90s my company would send several people from my group to our major vendor conferences (Novell BrainShare, Lotusphere, Microsoft TechEd). We would typically have a least 7 different people attend each conference. Since each person picked up the same swag we would come back with piles of useless stuff. I left that company in 2002 and moved twice but still found vendor swag in my house from TechEd 1998/1999/2000 a couple weeks ago.

    Oh, another thing from those days: one of my friends would compare the bags/backpacks the conference would give out to each attendee to rate the conference -- basically reducing a $1,000 conference to a $25 backpack. (I still have the backpacks from TechEd 2000 and the Windows NT 5.0 Deployment Conference. Yes NT 5.0 - before it was rebranded as Windows 2000.)

  • Little Bobby Tables (unregistered) in reply to Scott Hannen

    I really look forward to Christmas. Because when everybody sits around the tree opening their presents, I know what I'm going to get, and it's "Aha, socks! Excellent! These will see me through till next Christmas!"

    And at New Year, I have my ritual sock burning party, where last year's socks are dispatched to Up-Helly-Aa.

  • Gainward (unregistered)

    Mark... where the fuck is Error'd?

  • Friedrice the Great (unregistered) in reply to tharpa

    Me, too! Hybridized lizards in the cloud FTW!

  • Friedrice the Great (unregistered)

    Haven't been to a vendor conference for years now, but never had to do anything to get swag. Just walk past a booth, their folk were just handing it out to all and sundry.

    When I worked in a hospital, we never worried about buying pens, post-its or other office supplies. Drug reps were always coming through handing those things out. And they weren't junk pens. They were real nice ones! Guess that helps explain why drug costs keep going up ...

  • Alex Papadumbass (unregistered)

    "True - I can, and certainly do, just say "no thanks" ..."

    So what is the problem? Who exactly needs this bitcoin garbage of yours?

    Anyway, you are solving a problem that doesn't exist. If you don't want to give out your personal information, and don't want the swag, then just don't give out your personal information and don't take the swag. Or you could give them a fake phone number or email, and dump their swag in a trashcan nearby for good measure.

  • Brian Boorman (google)

    Maybe Mark could write a grammar checker next time. This article was obviously not proofread. Maybe he dictated the whole thing to a speech - to - text app.

  • Brian Boorman (google)

    Maybe Mark could write a grammar checker next time. This article was obviously not proofread. Maybe he dictated the whole thing to a speech - to - text app.

  • Ulysses (unregistered)

    Poor souls down in code? Are you cereal, Mark Bowytz? These expos are such a waste of time for this site's target audience. A dev is a poor soul if he's compelled to man the employer's booth instead of doing the software job he signed up for. Thankfully I don't work for /that/ circus anymore.

  • Randal L. Schwartz (google)

    At one conference, I just handed out one-dollar bills, figuring that's what my typical swag cost anyway. People were amused, but many called it brilliant.

  • Tim (unregistered)

    You attend the booth, you get a token to add to the transparent token boxes where you can see the total number of tokens inside .
    This can be used in a number of ways. There are a number of separate charities (one per token box) and you select which to support with your token. Then at the end of the day/event the monetary sum available (which you would have spent on useless swag) either goes to first-past-the-post or is divided among the charities according to the ratio of tokens in the boxes. Alternatively, if not feeling charitable, the tokens are collected until they reach certain levels at which things will happen - the company director will dance in a tutu, the company will release some free DLC for their best selling game, etc.

  • Jan (unregistered)

    In germany we got a saying, pretty much stating "One does not complain about free stuff" (Einem geschenkten Gaul schaut man nicht in's Maul)

  • swordfishBob (unregistered)
    • Use free shirts as pyjamas. Night apparel is supposed to look odd anyway right?
    • Dell Boomi has great roll-up shopping bags. Great when you live in a state that is banning single-use plastic bags from supermarkets.
    • Refillable coffee mugs are becoming a big thing, but some of them are terrible. Need to be able to use it then cart it around without dribbling remains; need all coffee-infested parts to be easily washable.
    • Flashing bouncy balls give you something to throw if the keynote speaker isn't very interesting.
  • (nodebb) in reply to VinDuv

    Does a USB key unlock locked USB ports? Asking for a friend.

  • lurker (unregistered)

    i only have one word for you. Socks. That is all.

  • Nils (unregistered) in reply to Jan

    "You don't look a gift horse in the mouth", don't know who came up with it first. Pretty stupid if you ask me, do you know what a horse dentist costs?

  • John (unregistered)

    As a kid, we had the candy fund raiser rep explain human psychology as being incapable of not grabbing something being passed to them.

    I don’t have this reaction as an adult, most days.

    Now imagine looking at the vendor, then looking at the swag being handed to you, then looking back and shaking your head. No, I will not throw away your trash for you.

    Someone once tried to hand me a CD cleaner, that could’ve doubled as a chip bag clip if it had a hinge.

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