Lyle Seaman

Artificial Average Intelligence

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I have a feeling we're going to be seeing a lot of AI WTFerry at this site for a while, and fewer stupid online sales copy booboos. For today, here we go:

Jet-setter Stewart wants to sell a pound, but he's going to have to cover some ground first. "Looks like Google are trying very hard to encourage me to stop using their search engine. Perhaps they want me to use chatGPT? I just can't fathom how it got this so wrong."


Retry Fail

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Decreasingly hungry thrillseeker Weaponized Fun has second thoughts about the risk to which they're willing to expose their palate. "In addition to Budget Bytes mailing list not knowing who I am, I'm not sure they know what they're making. I'm having a hard time telling whether 'New Recipe 1' sounds more enticing than 'New Recipe 3.' I sure hope they remembered the ingredients."


Office Politics

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"Math is hard, especially timely math," explains The Beast in Black.


Secret Horror

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Casanova Matt swings for the fences. "OKCupid (they don't capitalize the K, but I do, for propriety) must have migrated their match questions through Excel during a recent site revamp. These answers should obviously be 1-2 and 3-4, but maybe I could have 2 with Jan and 4 with Margaret (Mar to friends)."


Not Impossible

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Someone online said we run a Mickey Mouse outfit. Angered beyond words, we consulted [email protected] and they threatened to find that guy and sue him. So to anyone else who thinks this column is Goofy, you should know that the world's definitive authorities insist that it absolutely is not.

But these guys? This website actually is kind of goofy, according to resolutioner Adam R. who crowed "Someone forgot to localize some text for the new year!"


Monkeys

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Happy 2025 to all our readers. I can already tell this year's columns are going to be filled with my (least) favorite form of WTF, the impossible endless gauntlet of flaming password hurdles to jump over or crawl under. Please comment if you know why this week's column has this title and why it doesn't have the title Swordfish.

Peter G. starts off our new year of password maladies with a complaint that is almost poetic.
"Between desire and reality.
Between fact and breakfast.
Between 8 and -6:00.
Madness lies, lies, lies..."


Killing Time

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The Hatter was framed! He didn't even do it! Nil Corpus Delecti, et cetera.

Yet Yitz O. , up to some kind of skullduggery, observed a spacetime oddity. "When trying to compare some results from a GetOrders call via the ebay api, I noticed something weird was happening with the DateTimes in the response. The attached is 3 calls to get the same order, made in quick succession. The millisecond part of all the DateTimes matched the millisecond part of the *current* time (which you can see in the TimeStamp field. I assume it's because they rolled their own DateTime functionality and are Getting a UTC time by subtracting the difference between the local time and the UTC time, and one of those values doesn't have the millisecond value in it, but it's the ebay api so who knows." Undoubtedly a bug that nobody ever noticed because they probably just ignore the millis altogether.


Hypersensitive

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Rational Tim R. observed "When setting up my security camera using the ieGeek app there seem to be two conflicting definitions of sensitivity. I hope the second one is wrong, but if it's right, I really hope the first one is wrong."

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