Recent Articles

Nov 2024

It Figures

by in Error'd on

...or actually, it doesn't. A few fans found figures that just didn't add up. Here they are.

Steven J Pemberton deserves full credit for this finding. "My bank helpfully reminds me when it's time to pay my bill, and normally has no problem getting it right. But this month, the message sent Today 08:02, telling me I had to pay by tomorrow 21-Nov was sent on... 21-Nov. The amount I owed was missing the decimal point. They then apologised for freaking me out, but got that wrong too, by not replacing the placeholder for the amount I really needed to pay. "

11 comments - Last comment @ 2024-12-04

Classic WTF: Documentation by Sticky Note

by in Feature Articles on
Today is holiday in the US, where we celebrate a cosplay version of history with big meals and getting frustrated with our family. It's also a day where we are thankful- usually to not be at work, but also, thankful to not work with Brad. Original --Remy

Anita parked outside the converted garage, the printed graphic reading Global Entertainment Strategies (GES) above it. When the owner, an old man named Brad, had offered her a position after spotting her in a student computer lab, she thought he was crazy, but a background check confirmed everything he said. Now she wondered if her first intuition was correct.

“Anita, welcome!” Brad seemed to bounce like a toddler as he showed Anita inside. The walls of the converted garage were bare drywall; the wall-mounted AC unit rattled and spat in the corner. In three corners of the office sat discount computer desks. Walls partitioned off Brad’s office in the fourth corner.

10 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-29

What a More And

by in CodeSOD on

Today, we're going to start with the comment before the method.

    /**
     * The topology type of primitives to render. (optional)<br>
     * Default: 4<br>
     * Valid values: [0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]
     *
     * @param mode The mode to set
     * @throws IllegalArgumentException If the given value does not meet
     * the given constraints
     *
     */
19 comments - Last comment @ 2024-12-17

Hall of Mirrors

by in CodeSOD on

Robert was diagnosing a problem in a reporting module. The application code ran a fairly simple query- SELECT field1, field2, field3 FROM report_table- so he foolishly assumed that it would be easy to understand the problem. Of course, the "table" driving the report wasn't actually a table, it was a view in the database.

Most of our readers are familiar with how views work, but for those who have had been corrupted by NoSQL databases: database views are great- take a query you run often, and create it as an object in the database:

18 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-29

Magical Bytes

by in CodeSOD on

"Magic bytes" are a common part of a file header. The first few bytes of a file can often be used to identify what type of file it is. For example, a bitmap file starts with "BM", and a PGM file always starts with "PN" where "N" is a number between 1 and 6, describing the specific variant in use, and WAV files start with "RIFF".

Many files have less human-readable magic bytes, like the ones Christer was working with. His team was working on software to manipulate a variety of different CAD file types. One thing this code needed to do is identify when the loaded file was a CAD file, but not the specific UFF file type they were looking for. In this case, they need to check that the file does not start with 0xabb0, 0xabb1, or 0xabb3. It was trivially easy to write up a validation check to ensure that the files had the correct magic bytes. And yet, there is no task so easy that someone can't fall flat on their face while doing it.

28 comments - Last comment @ 2024-12-20

Three Little Nyms

by in Error'd on

"Because 9.975 was just a *little* bit too small," explains our first anonymous helper.

14 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-25

Contact Us

by in CodeSOD on

Charles is supporting a PHP based application. One feature of the application is a standard "Contact Us" form. I'll let Charles take on the introduction:

While it looks fine on the outside, the code is a complete mess. The entire site is built with bad practices, redundant variables, poor validation, insecure cookie checks, and zero focus on maintainability or security. Even the core parts of the platform are a nightmare

23 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-22

Plugin Acrobatics

by in CodeSOD on

Once upon a time, web browsers weren't the one-stop-shop for all kinds of possible content that they are today. Aside from the most basic media types, your browser depended on content plugins to display different media types. Yes, there was an era where, if you wanted to watch a video in a web browser, you may need to have QuickTime or… (shudder) Real Player installed.

As a web developer, you'd need to write code to check which plugins were installed. If they don't have Adobe Acrobat Reader installed, there's no point in serving them up a PDF file- you'll need instead to give them an install link.

26 comments - Last comment @ 2024-12-19

Recursive Search

by in CodeSOD on

Sometimes, there's code so bad you simply know it's unused and never called. Bernard sends us one such method, in Java:

  /**
   * Finds a <code>GroupEntity</code> by group number.
   *
   * @param  group the group number.
   * @return the <code>GroupEntity</code> object.
   */
  public static GroupEntity find(String group) {
    return GroupEntity.find(group);
  }
8 comments - Last comment @ 2024-12-05

Objectified

by in CodeSOD on

Simon recently found himself working alongside a "very senior" developer- who had a whopping 5 years of experience. This developer was also aggrieved that in recent years, Object Oriented programming had developed a bad reputation. "Functional this, functional that, people really just don't understand how clean and clear objects make your code."

For example, here are a few Java objects which they wrote to power a web scraping tool:

22 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-22

Tangled Up In Blue

by in Error'd on

...Screens of Death. Photos of failures in kiosk-mode always strike me as akin to the wizard being exposed behind his curtain. Yeah, that shiny thing is after all just some Windows PC on a stick. Here are a few that aren't particularly recent, but they're real.

Jared S. augurs ill: "Seen in downtown Mountain View, CA: In Silicon Valley AI has taken over. There is no past, there is no future, and strangely, even the present is totally buggered. However, you're free to restore the present if you wish."

5 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-18

Secondary Waits

by in CodeSOD on

ArSo works at a small company. It's the kind of place that has one software developer, and ArSo isn't it. But ArSo is curious about programming, and has enough of a technical background that small tasks should be achievable. After some conversations with management, an arrangement was made: Kurt, their developer, would identify a few tasks that were suitable for a beginner, and would then take some time to mentor ArSo through completing them.

It sounded great, especially because Kurt was going to provide sample code which would give ArSo a head start on getting things done. What better way to learn than by watching a professional at work?

22 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-17

The First 10,000

by in CodeSOD on

Alicia recently inherited a whole suite of home-grown enterprise applications. Like a lot of these kinds of systems, it needs to do batch processing. She went tracking down a mysterious IllegalStateException only to find this query causing the problem:

select * from data_import where id > 10000
20 comments - Last comment @ 2024-12-04

How is an Array like a Banana?

by in Representative Line on

Some time ago, poor Keith found himself working on an antique Classic ASP codebase. Classic ASP uses VBScript, which is like VisualBasic 6.0, but worse in most ways. That's not to say that VBScript code is automatically bad, but the language certainly doesn't help you write clean code.

In any case, the previous developer needed to make an 8 element array to store some data. Traditionally, in VBScript, you might declare it like so:

29 comments - Last comment @ 2024-12-01

Pay for this Later

by in CodeSOD on

Ross needed to write software to integrate with a credit card payment gateway. The one his company chose was relatively small, and only served a handful of countries- but it covered the markets they cared about and the transaction fees were cheap. They used XML for data interchange, and while they had no published schema document, they did have some handy-dandy sample code which let you parse their XML messages.

$response = curl_exec($ch);
$authecode = fetch_data($response, '<authCode>', '</authCode>');
$responsecode = fetch_data($response, '<responsecode>', '</responsecode>');
$retrunamount = fetch_data($response, '<returnamount>', '</returnamount>');
$trxnnumber = fetch_data($response, '<trxnnumber>', '</trxnnumber>');
$trxnstatus = fetch_data($response, '<trxnstatus>', '</trxnstatus>');
$trxnresponsemessage = fetch_data($response, '<trxnresponsemessage>', '</trxnresponsemessage>');
17 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-13

Relatively Speaking

by in Error'd on

Amateur physicist B.J. is going on vacation, but he likes to plan things right down to the zeptosecond. "Assume the flight accelerates at a constant speed for the first half of the flight, and decelerates at the same rate for the second half. 1) What speed does the plane need to reach to have that level of time dilation? 2) What is the distance between the airports?"

13 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-10

One More Parameter, Bro

by in Representative Line on

Matt needed to add a new field to a form. This simple task was made complicated by the method used to save changes back to the database. Let's see if you can spot what the challenge was:

public int saveQualif(String docClass, String transcomId, String cptyCod, String tradeId, String originalDealId, String codeEvent, String multiDeal,
            String foNumber, String codeInstrfamily, String terminationDate, String premiumAmount, String premiumCurrency, String notionalAmount,
            String codeCurrency, String notionalAmount2, String codeCurrency2, String fixedRate, String payout, String maType, String maDate,
            String isdaZoneCode, String tradeDate, String externalReference, String entityCode, String investigationFileReference,
            String investigationFileStartDate, String productType, String effectiveDate, String expiryDate, String paymentDate, String settInstrucTyp,
            String opDirection, String pdfPassword, String extlSysCod, String extlDeaId, String agrDt) throws TechnicalException, DfException
32 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-14

Uniquely Validated

by in CodeSOD on

There's the potential for endless installments of "programmers not understanding how UUIDs work." Frankly, I think the fact that we represent them as human readable strings is part of the problem; sure, it's readable, but conceals the fact that it's just a large integer.

Which brings us to this snippet, from Capybara James.

11 comments - Last comment @ 2024-12-03

Counting it All

by in CodeSOD on

Since it's election day in the US, many people are thinking about counting today. We frequently discuss counting here, and how to do it wrong, so let's look at some code from RK.

This code may not be counting votes, but whatever it's counting, we're not going to enjoy it:

23 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-11

A Matter of Understanding

by in CodeSOD on

For years, Victoria had a co-worker who "programmed by Google Search"; they didn't understand how anything worked, they simply plugged their problem into Google search and then copy/pasted and edited until they got code that worked. For this developer, I'm sure ChatGPT has been a godsend, but this code predates its wide use. It's pure "Googlesauce".

    StringBuffer stringBuffer = new StringBuffer();
    stringBuffer.append("SELECT * FROM TABLE1 WHERE COLUMN1 = 1 WITH UR");

    String sqlStr = stringBuffer.toString();
    ps = getConnection().prepareStatement(sqlStr);

    ps.setInt(1, code);

    rs = ps.executeQuery();

    while (rs.next())
    {
      count++;
    }
32 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-11

Alternative Maths

by in Error'd on

"Check out Visual Studio optimizing their rating system to only include the ratings used," shared Fiorenzo R. Imagine the performance gain!

21 comments - Last comment @ 2024-11-03
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