You'd think that buying things online eliminates the human element of shopping in a retail store. And you'd almost be right.

Nolan heard about one of his company's "problem customers" from a friend of his in the customer service department. This customer was satisfied exactly as often as he was not right – never. If there was a coupon code for $5 off five items, he'd be calling to ask why it didn't work for one item. If they caved and gave him the discount, it'd only result in more calls demanding more and more discounts. If his order arrived on the last day of the estimated shipping date, he'd bitch and moan until the shipping cost was refunded.

There wasn't much Nolan could do about their problem customer, but he did discover that one of his predecessors had added an undocumented feature, presumably in response to him:

'Get correct text based on error
Select Case qsB
  Case ""
    If checkVirtualBundle = 0 Then
      strMsg = "<p>Please choose the correct amounts of the products below to " & _
      strMsg = "<p>You have entered valid quantities. " & _
               "<a href=""cart.asp?checkout=Y"">You may now proceed to " & _
    End If

  Case "1"
    strMsg = "<div class=""linepull""><ul><li>The quantities selected are not " & _
             "valid for the "" & strCpnId & "" promotional code.</li>" & _
             "<li>Please choose the correct amounts below, or you may " & _
             "<a href=""?c=1"">cancel the promotion</a>.</li></ul></div>"

  Case "2"
    strMsg = "<div class=""linepull""><ul><li>The quantities below still are " & _
             "not correct. And yet you keep hitting "Check Out" like " & _
             "a ninny.</li><li>Please choose the correct amounts of the products " & _
             "below, or you may <a href=""?c=1"">cancel the promotion</a> to " & _
             "continue to checkout.</li></ul></div>"

  Case "3"
    strMsg = "<div class=""linepull""><ul><li>OMG seriously. I think you are too " & _
             "dumb to get this promotion.</li><li>Please do everyone a favor and " & _
             "<a href=""?c=1"">pay full price</a>.</li></ul></div>"

  Case Else
    strMsg = "<div class=""linepull""><ul><li>For the love of god, stop clicking " & _
             ""Check Out"!</li></ul></div>"

End Select

So if you kept trying to apply a coupon code with an invalid item quantity, you'd get an error message. Keep trying, and you get called a dumb ninny. Keep going still, and the web site throws up its hands in desperation.

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