• Bob (unregistered)

    Here's the WTF: Getting dinged on your performance review for an item that was never an expectation.

    I had been working for a new manager for almost a year when he asked me, "Are you concerned about your upcoming review?"

    I said, "No, I expect to get a good review."

    He replied, "That's kind of presumptuous, isn't it?"

    I said, "Not really. My expectation is that if I had been doing something wrong, or not doing something you expected of me, that you would have brought it up by now, and not waited for my review. Since you haven't mentioned anything like that, I expect to get a good review."

    He got this funny look on his face, thought about it a bit, then said, "I guess you're right."

    Sometimes it's about managing your manager.

  • (cs) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    Wow... so the WTF is... where, exactly?

    I think I just got it: the WTF is that even though Chris seemed to be one step ahead of Phil the whole year, Phil had the last laugh.

    You know it's bad when people request Mandatory Fun Day to return. Dear $diety, do you guys not remember how terrible that comic was?

    Sure we remember. We also remember how hilarious the reader-submitted comics were.

  • Stig (unregistered)

    The best tactic is to never commit to the lass, but keep her enjoying the subtle flirtation, perhaps believing that romance is on the horizon....just to cock-block the rest of the losers and laugh in their faces.

  • Stig (unregistered)

    "Phil had the last laugh"

    Chris was laughing as he gunned Phil down later in the parking lot with an untraceable single-shot loaded with 00 buck.

  • Just Droppin By (unregistered)

    About mid-way, I thought we were heading toward the following punchline:

    Chris: "You know, Phil, your dolly sounds just like Janet's bedframe."

    A literal WTF.

  • nonny nonny (unregistered) in reply to Bob
    Bob:
    I had been working for a new manager for almost a year when he asked me, "Are you concerned about your upcoming review?"

    I said, "No, I expect to get a good review."

    Sometimes I feel like I have the opposite problem. I've been consistently getting good reviews -- "exceeds expectations" pretty much across the board.

    Which is great -- except that it implies that my boss thinks I'm perfect. Obviously this isn't true. Surely there's something I can work on, hone my skills in a certain area? When I ask what specifically my boss would like to see me do better, she just says "Keep doing what you're doing".

    The fact that I've had decent raises, but no promotions, in five years, also suggests that there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what.

  • AdT (unregistered) in reply to obediah
    obediah:
    women under 50 or over 20

    IOW women of any age?

    age < 50 || age > 20 <=> true

    Or did you mean exclusive or?

    (age < 50) != (age > 20) <=> age <= 20 || age >= 50

    (Yes, color me Logic Nazi...)

  • Stig (unregistered)

    "When I ask what specifically my boss would like to see me do better, she just says 'Keep doing what you're doing' "

    She wants your wang dang diggety dang dee dang

    "...there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what."

    You're a bit slow, aren't you?

  • Stig (unregistered)

    Sometimes I have the opposite problem too. When I ask my boss what she thinks I could do to get a promotion, she says "I want to suck your cock".

    She's never been to my farm, so how does she have an interest in my livestock? And why does she think the feathery fella would taste good? And what does this have to do with my promotion?

  • (cs) in reply to Phil
    Phil:
    So Chris,

    a) had a grudge against his competent and hard working boss because of his (Chris) dislike of OS/2 b) was hitting hard on the only woman in the group c) was consistent lying in his timesheet d) was clearly not a team-player e) could not grasp the need for an API f) could not take criticism and suggestions g) quit because didn't get a raise

    Where is the WTF? Good riddance to him! We don't need no stinking OS/2-hatter around!

    But OS/2-hats are so AWESOME!

  • RBoy (unregistered)

    And then what happened?

  • nimis (unregistered) in reply to nonny nonny
    nonny nonny:
    Bob:
    I had been working for a new manager for almost a year when he asked me, "Are you concerned about your upcoming review?"

    I said, "No, I expect to get a good review."

    Sometimes I feel like I have the opposite problem. I've been consistently getting good reviews -- "exceeds expectations" pretty much across the board.

    Which is great -- except that it implies that my boss thinks I'm perfect. Obviously this isn't true. Surely there's something I can work on, hone my skills in a certain area? When I ask what specifically my boss would like to see me do better, she just says "Keep doing what you're doing".

    The fact that I've had decent raises, but no promotions, in five years, also suggests that there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what.

    I was the only one out of 120 devs to get "Excellent" my last review. And the only reason I got it was because I put in an assload of overtime since management fucked up the planning in a really major way. I also got the biggest raise.

    And some more planning freedom. This year I've planned my own work pretty much all of it. And as a result didnt work much overtime at all.

    I bet I'm gonna get burned this next review. Especially since my team leader forgot that I told her that I was going on a course for a week and she couldnt do the testing on her own. Poor thing.

    If they give me a bad review, Im gonna resign, and find myself another job and at the same time get a pretty substantial raise.

    </vent>
  • (cs) in reply to Stig
    Stig:
    "When I ask what specifically my boss would like to see me do better, she just says 'Keep doing what you're doing' "

    She wants your wang dang diggety dang dee dang

    "...there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what."

    You're a bit slow, aren't you?

    If the boss wanted to jump his bones, I bet she would come up with a more suggestive line than, "Keep doing what you're doing." Something like, "I think you've got great potential; perhaps just a bit of mentoring to get you pointed the right way... would you have some free time one evening this week to come together and explore this?"

  • Redundantman (unregistered)

    So what we have here is guy has good job but lousy boss. Guy gets poor annual review and no raise. Guy quits.

    I think we must be scraping the bottom of the WTF barrel here people.

  • WORKING STORAGE (unregistered)

    The WTF should be that Phil developed some business critical applications on his OS2 box and then kicked it over frying the HD when trying to get to Janets cube to fix an issue.

  • BEF (unregistered) in reply to nonny nonny
    nonny nonny:
    The fact that I've had decent raises, but no promotions, in five years, also suggests that there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what.

    Or you're the only competent guy there and everyone else gets promoted in hopes of getting rid of them. I believe that is the Dilbert Principle. "Companies tend to systematically promote their least-competent employees to management (generally middle management), in order to limit the amount of damage they're capable of doing."

    :D

    transverbero? I believe that was some kind of homework spell in Harry Potter.

  • Stig (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Stig:
    "When I ask what specifically my boss would like to see me do better, she just says 'Keep doing what you're doing' "

    She wants your wang dang diggety dang dee dang

    "...there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what."

    You're a bit slow, aren't you?

    If the boss wanted to jump his bones, I bet she would come up with a more suggestive line than, "Keep doing what you're doing." Something like, "I think you've got great potential; perhaps just a bit of mentoring to get you pointed the right way... would you have some free time one evening this week to come together and explore this?"

    Debating it only makes it sadder

  • mare (unregistered) in reply to anonymous coward
    anonymous coward:
    I kept mixing Chris and Phil and couldn't understand anything.
    Yeah, me too. Wtf makes those names seem so similar?
  • grzlbrmft (unregistered) in reply to mare
    mare:
    anonymous coward:
    I kept mixing Chris and Phil and couldn't understand anything.
    Yeah, me too. Wtf makes those names seem so similar?

    Seconded, their names should be Abraham and Zacharias!

  • DivineGod (unregistered) in reply to mare
    mare:
    anonymous coward:
    I kept mixing Chris and Phil and couldn't understand anything.
    Yeah, me too. Wtf makes those names seem so similar?
    Dyslexia

    dolor - danish translation of crucio (cruciatus curse) from Harry Potter

  • Mike5 (unregistered) in reply to Barrett Jacobsen
    Barrett Jacobsen:
    anonymous coward:
    I kept mixing Chris and Phil and couldn't understand anything.

    Wait, there's no WTF in this story....

    Summary:

    People don't always like each other, and sometimes do mean things. Sometimes it's over an operating system and/or a girl.

    Over a girl?! But, that's just sick!

    Mike5

  • voyou (unregistered)
    Two timesheets; one for payroll, one for actual time. This was a good idea, Chris thought, so that comp time could be tracked "unoficially" if he had a hellish 60 hour week on production support. "8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 40," he wrote on his first timesheet. "8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 40," he wrote on the other.

    He has two timesheets, so he... writes the same thing on both timesheets, neither of which reflect the actual time he worked? I'm not clear on why this is a good idea.

  • A Gould (unregistered) in reply to Scott
    Scott:
    Where's the story here? The guy was a dick and a clock puncher. I'd give him a crappy review too.

    Clock puncher? He got all his work done on time. That's a Good Thing. If the company really wanted him to work 60 hours, then they should assign him 60 hours of work.

    Running two sets of time books is a nice touch - easy for the company to prove you didn't actually work any overtime.

    The story was terribly random, though.

  • Stig (unregistered)

    I pay people for productivity, not for keeping a chair moist for a certain number of hours every day.

  • Portsnap (unregistered)

    I think i got it, THE STORY itself is a WTF!

  • aBase (unregistered) in reply to mare
    mare:
    anonymous coward:
    I kept mixing Chris and Phil and couldn't understand anything.
    Yeah, me too. Wtf makes those names seem so similar?
    For me, it's not any similarity of names. It's the writing style which, for instance, switches back and forth in the same paragraph (sometimes even in the same sentence) the person referred to as "he".
    AdT:
    ...

    (Yes, color me Logic Nazi...)

    I'd say you're more of a Logic Disability Spotter.

  • Frank P. (unregistered)

    Well, okay ... but that's the last straw!

  • Maggot (unregistered) in reply to PKM
    PKM:
    OK, the human interest stuff makes a tech WTF interesting, but an entire entry of "coders flirt with female colleagues, people with pet operating systems have pet operating systems and smug managers are a pain"? That isn't a WTF in any way, that's a "this is precisely what you should expect from the IT industry".

    Or perhaps we always expect WTFs in the IT industry, so much so that we don't even notice them anymore.

  • Shit Stirrer (unregistered) in reply to Phil
    Phil:
    So Chris,

    a) had a grudge against his competent and hard working boss because of his (Chris) dislike of OS/2 b) was hitting hard on the only woman in the group c) was consistent lying in his timesheet d) was clearly not a team-player e) could not grasp the need for an API f) could not take criticism and suggestions g) quit because didn't get a raise

    Where is the WTF? Good riddance to him! We don't need no stinking OS/2-hatter around!

    a) Not necessarily b) didn't sound (read?) like it to me c) Implied perhaps, but not explicitly said in the narrative d) What implied he wasn't? e) I think his concern was more that the API was thrust on him as a surprise in a review meeting - nothing suggests he was against the idea of an API f) Maybe, although the criticism seemed unjustified and I'm not sure there were any suggestions he ignored g) Quit because he didn't get a raise he thought he deserved - fickle, maybe, but not quite the same thing.

    OS/2 Sux!!

  • stu (unregistered) in reply to Fast Eddie
    Fast Eddie:
    This is really strange...

    ...I just do NOT remember submitting this story about my job last year to The Daily WTF.

    Oh, and Chris preferred to be called Christopher.

    ~FE~

    How do you know it wasn't Phil that submitted it?

  • Mitch (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Jeff:
    TRWTF is that his performance review was on time. When does his manager have time to work if he doesn't push back all that 'management' stuff to the very last minute?
    Yep. At one place where I worked, the annual performance review was consistently three months late, based on the date of the previous review, until after four years we had wrapped around an entire year, and they managed to cheat me out of one year's raise. After five years I quit and moved to Dallas, where I effectively doubled my salary when I took the next job.

    Yeap. I have moved on from my last 4 jobs in less than a year - at each exit interview I've been told I was up for a raise (and each time the raise I would have received was significantly less than the payrise I made by moving on).
    Performance Review based raises are a crock that were designed to minimise the cost of payrises (often by missing a year as in your example).

    I worked for a company who (similarly to many others it seems in hindsight) had individual 'objectives'. Performance against these objectives was standardised against the entire (multinational) company, and pay rises were paid to the top x%. The problem was, an under-achiever would get individual objectives like 'Show up to work on time' (which they generally managed to 'exceed expectations' at) while a hard-worker would get objectives like 'propose 3 improvements to process that will save the project $10000 (each)' - even if all 3 were achieved, they would be given 'meets expectation' for that objective (fair enough, they only met expectation, but a bit harsh when the sum of their review is compared against the bloke who managed to show up early every day). This meant that the less effective people on the project (and presumably throughout the organisation) were rewarded, while the more effective struggled to ever make a raise). It did kind of bother me that they told me I was up for a raise when I decided to move on from there....Maybe I was one of them too....

  • Biggest Loser (unregistered) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    Wow... so the WTF is... where, exactly?

    I'm starting to think that we've seen/heard all the WTFs that teh internetz have to offer. That's a scary thought.

    You know it's bad when people request Mandatory Fun Day to return. Dear $diety, do you guys not remember how terrible that comic was?

    Seafood Diety?

  • Jess (unregistered) in reply to Bob
    Bob:
    Here's the WTF: Getting dinged on your performance review for an item that was never an expectation.

    I had been working for a new manager for almost a year when he asked me, "Are you concerned about your upcoming review?"

    I said, "No, I expect to get a good review."

    He replied, "That's kind of presumptuous, isn't it?"

    I said, "Not really. My expectation is that if I had been doing something wrong, or not doing something you expected of me, that you would have brought it up by now, and not waited for my review. Since you haven't mentioned anything like that, I expect to get a good review."

    He got this funny look on his face, thought about it a bit, then said, "I guess you're right."

    Sometimes it's about managing your manager.

    We were actually told that as part of induction.... 5% payrise for Exceeds expectation (reasonably rare, or so we were told) 3% for meeting expectation (90% of people in this category, apparently) 1% for almost meets expectation (if you were in this category, your boss would be on your back long before Manager Assessments, they told us) 0% for fails to meet expectation (apparently, it's never happened - people are either sacked or leave before this happens)

    I guess the government is not as hard as commercial enterprises.

  • Valdek (unregistered) in reply to Stig
    Stig:
    "Phil had the last laugh"

    Chris was laughing as he gunned Phil down later in the parking lot with an untraceable single-shot loaded with 00 buck.

    You America, you make ruski laugh...

  • Michael (unregistered) in reply to nonny nonny
    nonny nonny:
    Bob:
    I had been working for a new manager for almost a year when he asked me, "Are you concerned about your upcoming review?"

    I said, "No, I expect to get a good review."

    Sometimes I feel like I have the opposite problem. I've been consistently getting good reviews -- "exceeds expectations" pretty much across the board.

    Which is great -- except that it implies that my boss thinks I'm perfect. Obviously this isn't true. Surely there's something I can work on, hone my skills in a certain area? When I ask what specifically my boss would like to see me do better, she just says "Keep doing what you're doing".

    The fact that I've had decent raises, but no promotions, in five years, also suggests that there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what.

    I'd take a payrise over a promotion any day. Better to be a high paid tech (and still do interesting work) than a less well paid manager and attend meetings and put up with crap from all sides - but maybe that's just me.

    Seriously, though, part of the problem might be that your manager doesn't really understand what you do (quite a common occurrence, I think, especially since people seem to get promoted out of the way). The fact you haven't been promoted suggests they really value what you do - and don't feel they could find someone to replace you. The fact they keep marking you 'exceed expectation' suggests someone (presumably the client - if you're in that type of work) is happy with them, and they recognise that much of the effort is yours - the lack of feedback just shows they don't understand what it actually is that you do, or how you do it (which is probably why you get 'exceeds' rather than 'meets' - watching somoenone perform magic is much more exciting than watching someone execute a monkey task - especially if it's one where you could say 'but I could have done that').

    Seriously, be happy with the pay rises and don't worry about climbing the ladder - you'll probably end up being paid more as a techo anyway!

  • NeStor (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Stig:
    "When I ask what specifically my boss would like to see me do better, she just says 'Keep doing what you're doing' "

    She wants your wang dang diggety dang dee dang

    "...there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what."

    You're a bit slow, aren't you?

    If the boss wanted to jump his bones, I bet she would come up with a more suggestive line than, "Keep doing what you're doing." Something like, "I think you've got great potential; perhaps just a bit of mentoring to get you pointed the right way... would you have some free time one evening this week to come together and explore this?"
    And then flashed her tits at him

  • (cs) in reply to obediah
    obediah:

    I found the original on the internets:

    This one time I worked with this guy who liked Amiga's a lot. He boned me out of a raise on a bogus accusation because I didn't like Amiga's, so I quit.

    "He boned me out of a raise"? Wow, that sounds dirty.

  • xeno (unregistered) in reply to Phil
    Phil:
    Where is the WTF? Good riddance to him! We don't need no stinking OS/2-hatter around!

    (Takes off OS/2 Hat)

    <_<

    _>

  • (cs) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    SR:
    TRWTF is OS/2
    Yup, because the Windows/386 and DOS 4.0 you would have been using around the time this story happened would have been SO MUCH BETTER!
    It says he was wheeling in a 12MHz 80286 machine. That should mean OS/2 v1.x, which could well have been described as "irrelevant". However, OS/2 v2 (32-bit, so 80386) and later were publicly beta'd, which generated more interest and certainly popped up on bulletin boards and ftp sites. I used it on my development machine building Windows apps, as the pre-emptive multitasking made compiles/builds somehow faster, testing easier, and also didn't tie up my machine exclusively during builds. For a couple of years it was by far the best option for me. When Win NT came out, it was fast and stable (compared to Win 3.x & Win95), but ironically less Windows-compatible than the OS/2 I was using at the time so couldn't be used at first.
  • acid (unregistered) in reply to jobrahms
    jobrahms:
    I think Chris and Phil should get together.

    Two years later they split and begin a bitter custody battle over the OS/2 machine.

  • acid (unregistered) in reply to Just Droppin By
    Just Droppin By:
    About mid-way, I thought we were heading toward the following punchline:

    Chris: "You know, Phil, your dolly sounds just like Janet's bedframe."

    A literal WTF.

    This has my vote for the alternate ending when the DVD comes out.

  • ksjhjd (unregistered)

    Great heads think alike

  • Always lookin' (unregistered) in reply to nonny nonny
    nonny nonny:
    Bob:
    I had been working for a new manager for almost a year when he asked me, "Are you concerned about your upcoming review?"

    I said, "No, I expect to get a good review."

    Sometimes I feel like I have the opposite problem. I've been consistently getting good reviews -- "exceeds expectations" pretty much across the board.

    Which is great -- except that it implies that my boss thinks I'm perfect. Obviously this isn't true. Surely there's something I can work on, hone my skills in a certain area? When I ask what specifically my boss would like to see me do better, she just says "Keep doing what you're doing".

    The fact that I've had decent raises, but no promotions, in five years, also suggests that there IS something I should be doing better... if I can only figure out what.

    One interpretation...

    Your boss doesn't want you to leave because you make her look good, and she doesn't want to have to start interviewing for a replacement. She doesn't want you in management...you may not have time to make her look good any more & you may become a competitor.

  • resa (unregistered)

    So, the WTF is that this guy worked for a jerk? Don't we all work for jerks?

  • Just Some Guy (unregistered) in reply to Dave C.
    Dave C.:
    Sounds dreary and unpleasant, but also so ordinary there wasn't a real WTF moment in the story. This one needed a ghost writer or maybe a Hollywood script doctor to "punch it up" a bit. Maybe if Janet turned out to be secretly married to Phil or she's an android or a spy...

    Or if Chris banged her right there on Phil's desk... :-o

  • Just Some Guy (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    SR:
    TRWTF is OS/2
    Yup, because the Windows/386 and DOS 4.0 you would have been using around the time this story happened would have been SO MUCH BETTER!

    Eh; I still maintain to this day, that DOS 5.0 was the most stable software Microsoft ever put out...

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    TRWTF is the utter lack of a WTF.

    Then there is a WTF.

    Then TRWTF is not true anymore.

    Then there's no WTF.

    Then TRWTF is the utter lack of a WTF.

  • (cs)

    Here comes the subtle aggressiveness of the timesheets. I used to work for a company where nobody dared to leave at 6PM as they were supposed to. I started going to a swimming pool nearby, and tried to use the maximum time I could get (the pool closed at 7.30PM). After the first week I was brought before the many managers that asked me if something was wrong, because I was not a team player.

  • A-Nona-Mouse (unregistered)

    The year was 1993 and I was responsible for creating the first CD-ROM based publication (NetSource) for a major technology publisher.

    I also happened to own a "monster" machine [given the time period] that could process the data faster than anything the publishing company had to offer. I also ran lots of processing jobs that ran for many hours with sporatic user intervention required.

    There was no "remote access", transfering the data would take hours [even burning a CD in those days took nearly 3 hours (prep, burn, verify)and had only about an 80% success rate.

    You guessed it....I had a setup very similar to the picture. I actually modified the case of the machine so it was BOLTED onto the wheeled carrier (this occured after the bungie cord I was susing slipped, and my machine crashed (physically - thankfully no damage)....

  • A-Nona-Mouse (unregistered)

    The year was 1993 and I was responsible for creating the first CD-ROM based publication (NetSource) for a major technology publisher.

    I also happened to own a "monster" machine [given the time period] that could process the data faster than anything the publishing company had to offer. I also ran lots of processing jobs that ran for many hours with sporatic user intervention required.

    There was no "remote access", transfering the data would take hours [even burning a CD in those days took nearly 3 hours (prep, burn, verify)and had only about an 80% success rate.

    You guessed it....I had a setup very similar to the picture. I actually modified the case of the machine so it was BOLTED onto the wheeled carrier (this occured after the bungie cord I was susing slipped, and my machine crashed (physically - thankfully no damage)....

Leave a comment on “A One-Year Job”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article