The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

The Boss:
Remember, my minions, you must never ever capitulate to the requests of other departments. If they complain that something is "broken," and you fix it; not only are you squandering valuable company resources, but you are also demonstrating that this department is subordinate to that one! That is an offense up with which I shall not put. Feel free to offer solutions that will force THEM to fix THEIR code, but do not change your interface.
Never forget: this department is a team, and we work together as a team. Failure is not an option: we must all fight together to defeat all other teams. Only by meeting our deadlines and causing the others to miss theirs will I achieve the promotion I so blatantly deserve.

Nice Churchill there ;-)

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Dr. Nil:
After eading theses comments, I'm starting to get the feeling that most developers are seriously flawed, passive aggressive losers.

Welcome to the club.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Fred:
The obvious approach to this problem is to create a thingy that responds to a search for "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" and make sure it thoroughly insults the reader in the most vile terms possible. (Like maybe calling them a VB programmer...)
Then just sit back and wait for the complaints to pile up, forcing management to authorize fixing the actual bug instead of papering over it.

If they merely change the magic word, rinse and repeat...

At a former job, we had a problem that our people were constantly giving out the admin password to, like, anyone. When one of our customer service people gave out the admin password over the phone to a random customer, my boss got an idea: He changed the password to a vulgar comment about "your mother", on the reasoning that people would be too embarassed to say it.

I'm not sure if it worked. I suspect there were plenty of people in our company who would have thought such a password was hysterically funny, and who'd be giving it to people who didn't even need access just for the laugh.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

I always shudder when a programmer puts in a magic value and explains, "Oh, the chances of any real data having that value are too small to worry about."

Like, in the application I'm spending my life on these days, in endless reports they check for some control field to change to decide to print subtotals, and they always initialize it with a value like "First". No doubt someone said to himself, "We'll never have a store or a customer named 'First'." How do you know that? I wouldn't be shocked to come across a cutomer named "Mary First". There are people with stranger names than that. And then you get incorrect output. How hard is it to create a first-time flag or some such so you are GUARANTEED that your program will work, and not just you hope it will robably work.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Sir Robin-The-Not-So-Brave:
jumentum:
hoodaticus (unregisted:
You've got to be fucking...me.
What was that you were saying about homosexuality again?
What is wrong with homosexuality? Some of my best friends (m/f) are homosexual. Personally I'm sapiosexual. Which means that most comments here are a total turn off, but there are a few gems that make me want to rub my genitals against the commenter's brains. (metaforically)

Goddamnit! It's really hard to pretend hysterical laughter is just coughing, asshole...

But thanks for the lulz. Really funny.

hoodaticus · 2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Seriously?:
What the damn is wrong with the comments on FireFox?

Nothing.

hoodaticus · 2011-03-17 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.

My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Jay:
At a former job, we had a problem that our people were constantly giving out the admin password to, like, anyone. When one of our customer service people gave out the admin password over the phone to a random customer... .

Not to call your former boss a moron or anything, but a) why did the customer service people have an admin password b) why would you give an admin password to someone who's dim enough to share it? c) did it not occur to anyone to give appropriate admin roles to users based on their job duties, rather than just passing around "the admin password"? d) was this "former job" one that you held in, oh, 1987 or something like that? That would explain it, I guess.

Captcha: usitas - if you don't turn down that mePod so I can't hear it when I'm sitting ten feet away from you on the subway, you'll usitas a suppository, buddy.

hoodaticus · 2011-03-17 Reply Admin

DeaDPooL:
Clean, easy to read, well documented code works... what's the problem?

TRWTF is that he didn't use a GUID.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

TRWTF is that it is St. Patrick's day, and there is not only no post today, but there are no pictures of Irish Girl today either.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.
My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

Thanks, but I like the meat... Really tender when it's slow-cooked.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a need for a new junior level .Net developer. Preferrably one who is a little on the chubby side, a vegitarian and non-smoker.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
DeaDPooL:
Clean, easy to read, well documented code works... what's the problem?
TRWTF is that he didn't use a GUID.

Just make sure it's a singleton. You don't want to go using up a bunch of GUIDs frivolously.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.
My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

Thanks, but I like the meat... Really tender when it's slow-cooked.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a need for a new junior level .Net developer. Preferrably one who is a little on the chubby side, a vegitarian and non-smoker.

But smoke imparts flavor...

hoodaticus · 2011-03-17 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.
My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

Thanks, but I like the meat... Really tender when it's slow-cooked.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a need for a new junior level .Net developer. Preferrably one who is a little on the chubby side, a vegitarian and non-smoker.

The ones with a lot of untapped potential are the sweetest.

Nagesh · 2011-03-17 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.
My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

Thanks, but I like the meat... Really tender when it's slow-cooked.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a need for a new junior level .Net developer. Preferrably one who is a little on the chubby side, a vegitarian and non-smoker.
The ones with a lot of untapped potential are the sweetest.

My cousin in US might be of some use.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Can't Believe I'm Responding:
C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.
My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

Thanks, but I like the meat... Really tender when it's slow-cooked.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a need for a new junior level .Net developer. Preferrably one who is a little on the chubby side, a vegitarian and non-smoker.

But smoke imparts flavor...

That's true, but I'm on this whole "health" thing, you know...

Trying to watch what, and whome I eat.

boog · 2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Can't Believe I'm Responding:
C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.
My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

Thanks, but I like the meat... Really tender when it's slow-cooked.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a need for a new junior level .Net developer. Preferrably one who is a little on the chubby side, a vegitarian and non-smoker.

But smoke imparts flavor...

You're right, it does, and that isn't necessarily a good thing. I could see your point if they smoked applewood, hickory, or mesquite on a regular-enough basis.

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

boog:
Can't Believe I'm Responding:
C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.
My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

Thanks, but I like the meat... Really tender when it's slow-cooked.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a need for a new junior level .Net developer. Preferrably one who is a little on the chubby side, a vegitarian and non-smoker.

But smoke imparts flavor...

You're right, it does, and that isn't necessarily a good thing. I could see your point if they smoked applewood, hickory, or mesquite on a regular-enough basis.

Please stop being funny you arseholes, I'm at work! I mean, home, yeah, I'm at home. That's the ticket...

2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Polar Bear:
TRWTF is that it is St. Patrick's day, and there is not only no post today, but there are no pictures of Irish Girl today either.

Hey, guys, try to have some respect. Alex has just passed, and I don't even know if we're going to keep the site going per-se. We will keep you posted on the situation as it develops.

Nagesh · 2011-03-17 Reply Admin

Remy Martin:
Polar Bear:
TRWTF is that it is St. Patrick's day, and there is not only no post today, but there are no pictures of Irish Girl today either.
Hey, guys, try to have some respect. Alex has just passed, and I don't even know if we're going to keep the site going per-se. We will keep you posted on the situation as it develops.

Passed out from drinking?

toshir0 · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

<cfif Trim(url.searchText) EQ "">  <cfset searchString="Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfernschpledenschlittcrasscrenbonfriediggerdingledangledonglebursteinvonknackerthrasherapplebangerhorowitzicolensicgranderknottyspelltinklegrandlichgrumbelmeyerspellerwasserkurstlichhimbleeisenbahnwagengutenabendbitteeinnurnburgerbratwurstlegerspurtenmitzweimacheluberhundsfutgumberaberschonendankerkalbsfleischmittleraucher Von Hauptkopf of Ulm"> </cfif>

FTFY

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Remy Martin:
Polar Bear:
TRWTF is that it is St. Patrick's day, and there is not only no post today, but there are no pictures of Irish Girl today either.
Hey, guys, try to have some respect. Alex has just passed, and I don't even know if we're going to keep the site going per-se. We will keep you posted on the situation as it develops.

Say WHAT? Usually when they say that people have passed, they mean "passed away", "passed over the rainbow", "passed on to greener pastures" etc... in short that they are dead. Then why did username 'Alex Papadimoulis' publish a new article on 2011-03-17? Did someone hack into his account or steal his password?

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Sir Robin-The-Not-So-Brave:
Say WHAT? Usually when they say that people have passed, they mean "passed away", "passed over the rainbow", "passed on to greener pastures" etc... in short that they are dead. Then why did username 'Alex Papadimoulis' publish a new article on 2011-03-17? Did someone hack into his account or steal his password?

You probably have missed some lectures on TheNotSoDailyWTF-memes.

hoodaticus · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
C-Octothorpe:
I've worked with people who would return an object from a GetById method regardless of whether it was found in the DB or not.
My uncle has a pig farm if you need to dispose of their bodies.

Thanks, but I like the meat... Really tender when it's slow-cooked.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a need for a new junior level .Net developer. Preferrably one who is a little on the chubby side, a vegitarian and non-smoker.
The ones with a lot of untapped potential are the sweetest.

My cousin in US might be of some use.

I don't know if C-Octothorpe likes curry.

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

minion:
The Boss:
Remember, my minions, you must never ever capitulate to the requests of other departments. If they complain that something is "broken," and you fix it; not only are you squandering valuable company resources, but you are also demonstrating that this department is subordinate to that one! That is an offense up with which I shall not put. Feel free to offer solutions that will force THEM to fix THEIR code, but do not change your interface.
Never forget: this department is a team, and we work together as a team. Failure is not an option: we must all fight together to defeat all other teams. Only by meeting our deadlines and causing the others to miss theirs will I achieve the promotion I so blatantly deserve.

Would it help if we changed the API three times before releasing the final version with yet another API? After all if we want to ensure victory over the other teams, that of course means making it difficult to follow in our tracks. Also, we can't let them squander our innovations - patent everything in the name of the department and force them to license or to work around our patents.

The Microsoft way. The teams have pratically patent other teams cannot use what already exist.

Nagesh · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".

Now C# also stand-out on its own.

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".

No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

frits · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".
No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

At least C# took Java syntax and improved it. For instance, C# got rid of stupid camel-casing for method names and uses Pascal-case instead ;).

Nagesh · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

frits:
Anonymous:
Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".
No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

At least C# took Java syntax and improved it. For instance, C# got rid of stupid camel-casing for method names and uses Pascal-case instead ;).

Agree with frits!

The point is C# stand out on it own. Syntax is no longer same. If you think it has same syntax, you are using wrong version. I am using java primary, but also other things. So don't teach me anonymouse.

hoodaticus · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Someone once said, "C# is Java with the all the stupid sucked out."

boog · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
Someone once said, "C# is Java with the all the stupid sucked out."

It's no wonder someone would make such a statement. All that sucked-out stupid would have to go somewhere.

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Design Pattern:
Sir Robin-The-Not-So-Brave:
Say WHAT? Usually when they say that people have passed, they mean "passed away", "passed over the rainbow", "passed on to greener pastures" etc... in short that they are dead. Then why did username 'Alex Papadimoulis' publish a new article on 2011-03-17? Did someone hack into his account or steal his password?
You probably have missed some lectures on TheNotSoDailyWTF-memes.

A meme is now "a joke someone made once"?

Oy gewalt.

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

frits:
Anonymous:
Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".
No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

At least C# took Java syntax and improved it. For instance, C# got rid of stupid camel-casing for method names and uses Pascal-case instead ;).

And they also made K&R style the default indentation, improving the syntax immensely.

boog · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
A meme is now "a joke someone made once"?
Oy gewalt.

Apparently yes. I used the "I'm pretty sure I would have strangled..." phrase one time, and my doofy doppelganger (fake boog) assumed this was a typical-enough comment from me to replicate it indefinitely.

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Sir Robin-The-Not-So-Brave:
jumentum:
hoodaticus (unregisted:
You've got to be fucking...me.
What was that you were saying about homosexuality again?
What is wrong with homosexuality? Some of my best friends (m/f) are homosexual. Personally I'm sapiosexual. Which means that most comments here are a total turn off, but there are a few gems that make me want to rub my genitals against the commenter's brains. (metaforically)

I could have gone my whole life without reading that one...

captcha: populus I sure hope you don't further populate to contaminate the species.

Nagesh · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
ORLY:
Anonymous Coward:
TRWTF is ColdFusion.

TRWTF is endless dildos who think slighting every platform or technology other than the ont they're forced to use in their current slave-cube, is a WTF

Endless dildos? Where can I get one? It's my wife's birthday in a few weeks' time.

Why use external tools, if you got one of your own? Is your tool not working to full on satisfaction of the Mrs?

frits · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Matt Westwood:
ORLY:
Anonymous Coward:
TRWTF is ColdFusion.

TRWTF is endless dildos who think slighting every platform or technology other than the ont they're forced to use in their current slave-cube, is a WTF

Endless dildos? Where can I get one? It's my wife's birthday in a few weeks' time.

Why use external tools, if you got one of your own? Is your tool not working to full on satisfaction of the Mrs?

So are you suggesting that she should use native tools?

Nagesh · 2011-03-18 Reply Admin

frits:
Nagesh:
Matt Westwood:
ORLY:
Anonymous Coward:
TRWTF is ColdFusion.

TRWTF is endless dildos who think slighting every platform or technology other than the ont they're forced to use in their current slave-cube, is a WTF

Endless dildos? Where can I get one? It's my wife's birthday in a few weeks' time.

Why use external tools, if you got one of your own? Is your tool not working to full on satisfaction of the Mrs?

So are you suggesting that she should use native tools?

Full of double meaning joke about native tools. Once some natives were playing with their tools...

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Design Pattern:
You probably have missed some lectures on TheNotSoDailyWTF-memes.

A meme is now "a joke someone made once"?

Oy gewalt.

Since when is 1 == 3? Oh, of course this is thedailywtf! http://thedailywtf.com/Comments/Enterprise-Dependency-Big-Ball-of-Yarn.aspx?pg=4#340122 http://thedailywtf.com/Comments/The-Glitchy-SVN.aspx?pg=4#341565

You know, it's a meme if you are bored at the sight of it!

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

frits:
Anonymous:
Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".
No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

At least C# took Java syntax and improved it. For instance, C# got rid of stupid camel-casing for method names and uses Pascal-case instead ;).

Syntax? Really?

2011-03-18 Reply Admin

frits:
Anonymous:
Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".
No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

At least C# took Java syntax and improved it. For instance, C# got rid of stupid camel-casing for method names and uses Pascal-case instead ;).

Syntax? Really?

2011-03-19 Reply Admin

They should have used

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia

which means 'fear of long words'

2011-03-19 Reply Admin

I thought the longest word in English is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (I hope I spelled that correctly).

2011-03-19 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Jay:
At a former job, we had a problem that our people were constantly giving out the admin password to, like, anyone. When one of our customer service people gave out the admin password over the phone to a random customer... .

Not to call your former boss a moron or anything, but a) why did the customer service people have an admin password b) why would you give an admin password to someone who's dim enough to share it? c) did it not occur to anyone to give appropriate admin roles to users based on their job duties, rather than just passing around "the admin password"? d) was this "former job" one that you held in, oh, 1987 or something like that? That would explain it, I guess.

Not that I feel an overwhelming need to defend a former boss, but ...

(a & c) Perhaps I should clarify that I meant an application admin password, not a system admin password. And the reason why customer service people had an application admin password was so they could get on any customer's system and do whatever they needed to do to fix up problems.

(b) See (a). They needed it to do their jobs. And the worst offender was the president of the company.

(d) Did you know me in 1987? Not sure where you pulled that year from. But it's a job I held in the mid-80s, so maybe so.

2011-03-21 Reply Admin

boog:
hoodaticus:
Someone once said, "C# is Java with the all the stupid sucked out."
It's no wonder someone would make such a statement. All that sucked-out stupid would have to go somewhere.

QFT. And I work with both Java and C# regularly.

CAPTCHA: conventio; it's somewhat lacking.

2011-03-21 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
frits:
Anonymous:
Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".
No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

At least C# took Java syntax and improved it. For instance, C# got rid of stupid camel-casing for method names and uses Pascal-case instead ;).

Agree with frits!

The point is C# stand out on it own. Syntax is no longer same. If you think it has same syntax, you are using wrong version. I am using java primary, but also other things. So don't teach me anonymouse.

You really are clueless, aren't you Nagesh? Please read this, then re-read frits' post. Get it now, dumbass?

Nagesh · 2011-03-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Nagesh:
frits:
Anonymous:
Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".
No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

At least C# took Java syntax and improved it. For instance, C# got rid of stupid camel-casing for method names and uses Pascal-case instead ;).

Agree with frits!

The point is C# stand out on it own. Syntax is no longer same. If you think it has same syntax, you are using wrong version. I am using java primary, but also other things. So don't teach me anonymouse.
You really are clueless, aren't you Nagesh? Please read this, then re-read frits' post. Get it now, dumbass?

Why are you making post as anonymouse? I already know definition of sarcasm, peewee!

2011-03-22 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Anonymous:
Nagesh:
frits:
Anonymous:
Nagesh:
Buddy:
Cold Fusion, fond memories. Once you get past its quirks and its design philosophy (let's mix DB, logic and UI!), it's a very productive language. It's possible to do amazing things with it, even the earlier versions.

Every programming language is useful to someone or the other. A lot of java programers said "C# is a copy of Java".
No, they said the syntax is a copy of Java, which it indisputably is.

At least C# took Java syntax and improved it. For instance, C# got rid of stupid camel-casing for method names and uses Pascal-case instead ;).

Agree with frits!

The point is C# stand out on it own. Syntax is no longer same. If you think it has same syntax, you are using wrong version. I am using java primary, but also other things. So don't teach me anonymouse.
You really are clueless, aren't you Nagesh? Please read this, then re-read frits' post. Get it now, dumbass?

Why are you making post as anonymouse? I already know definition of sarcasm, peewee!

And yet you can't recognise its usage? How strange. You must have learn English parrot-fashion, which actually explains a lot about your ridiculous posts come to think about it.

2011-03-27 Reply Admin

Ok.

I know we see bad code here all the time--that's the whole point of the site. But even so, I feel on some level that this is the dumbest piece of code I've ever seen.

I mean what if someone actually put that in the database, then what, eh? sheesh.

-- Furry cows moo and decompress.

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