• Tootie (unregistered) in reply to Mikoangelo
    Mikoangelo:
    This thread is a statistical anomaly.

    Your FACE is a statistical anomaly!

  • (cs) in reply to Botia
    Botia:
    NULL
    BEGIN ... EXCEPTION WHEN OTHERS THEN NULL; END;
  • Anonymous Tolkein Fan (unregistered) in reply to dkf
    dkf:
    Sauron:
    Everyone knows Mein Kampf was originally written in Black Speech.
    You mean in “Ebonics”?

    no, black speech, the native language of mordor.

    btw, did you know that the ring poem (in the original black speech) can be sung to the tune of "hava nagila"?

  • Anonymous JboPre (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Jay:
    And then I think of people who have apparently devoted hundreds of hours to learning Klingon grammar.
    And then there's another group studying Elvish.

    personally, i like lojban

  • Steve (unregistered)

    I speak Elvish -- that's pretty cool huh?

    Elfin? Elvin? Elfish?

  • Keybounce (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Tolkein Fan
    Anonymous Tolkein Fan:
    dkf:
    Sauron:
    Everyone knows Mein Kampf was originally written in Black Speech.
    You mean in “Ebonics”?

    no, black speech, the native language of mordor.

    btw, did you know that the ring poem (in the original black speech) can be sung to the tune of "hava nagila"?

    Prior to this, no. But that Wikipedia article is amazing clear.

    Seriously, that tune does work; I might just memorize it to sing this passover.

  • (cs)

    Is anyone else as disturbed as I am that searching google for "Klingon grammar Nazis" IN quotes turns up sites other than this one?

  • laoreet (unregistered) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    I speak Elvish -- that's pretty cool huh?

    Elfin? Elvin? Elfish?

    Which dialect?

  • (cs) in reply to jetcitywoman
    jetcitywoman:
    Whenever I come across this kind of issue where I work, invariably the user INSISTS that it worked just yesterday. Despite me being able to scrape around and find hard proof that the routine has been empty/incorrect for years. I'm always puzzled about what they thought they saw.
    That reminds me of the '8 report' we had at work. It was posted on this site a couple of weeks/months back, although the comments curiously enough deal with a programming problem that was never mentioned in the article.
  • Vermis (unregistered) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    I speak Elvish -- that's pretty cool huh?

    Elfin? Elvin? Elfish?

    Hm, I speak a little Elvin... "Thakyu very mush, an' foh mah nex' song..."

  • foobar (unregistered) in reply to Grassfire
    Grassfire:
    Initial Developer: "This is too hard, no-one's going to ever use it, I'm just going dummy up the report in excel and give them a hardcopy and tell the user it's done."

    (3 years later) User: "Why did this report stop using, it was fine when I used it yesterday"

    Been there, done this.

    I develop/maintain an inhouse testcase management system, and management complained that, while excellently engineered to meet our specific and somewhat unusual day-to-day requirements, it was lacking the features of a true enterprise ($50,000) testcase management system.

    Which features? The ability to draw pointless graphs.

    So I provided a stats page which had nice graphs on it, and everyone was happy.

    Some months later, another developer asked me why there was a file in source control called "SpuriousBargraphGenerator.pl", which drew graphs of data generated by rand().

  • k1 (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Philip Newton:
    I'm impressed that they got the Klingon right.

    (Except for the missing initial apostrophe in {'arlogh Qoylu'pu'}.)

    Great, now we have Klingon grammar Nazis

    http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2642

    CYA

    captcha: "eros" HAH! :)

  • Max (unregistered)

    Oracle: Bringing you enterprise level failures since 19xx

  • IByte (unregistered)

    Who ever said NULL isn't stuff?

  • (cs) in reply to laoreet
    laoreet:
    Steve:
    I speak Elvish -- that's pretty cool huh?

    Elfin? Elvin? Elfish?

    Which dialect?

    And which language, Qenya or Sindarin?

    I'll get me coat...

  • Kiss me I'm A Desert Topping (unregistered) in reply to Kiss me I'm Polish
    Kiss me I'm Polish:
    pink_fairy:
    Anon:
    Philip Newton:
    I'm impressed that they got the Klingon right.

    (Except for the missing initial apostrophe in {'arlogh Qoylu'pu'}.)

    Great, now we have Klingon grammar Nazis

    You gotta admit, they'd be far more entertaining than the common-or-garden type.

    "By missing the initial apostrophe you have questioned my family honor. Prepare to invade Poland!"

    (Well, maybe not if you're Polish.)

    I find this personal. PREPARE TO DIE AND STUFF!
    SO DO I!!2!

  • (cs) in reply to Ken B
    Ken B:
    jetcitywoman:
    Whenever I come across this kind of issue where I work, invariably the user INSISTS that it worked just yesterday. Despite me being able to scrape around and find hard proof that the routine has been empty/incorrect for years. I'm always puzzled about what they thought they saw.
    Typical support conversation:

    Them: I just upgraded from version X.Y to X.(Y+1) and my code doesn't behave like it used to. It used to do [foo] and now it does [bar].

    Us: The code you supplied has always done [bar].

    Them: No, it used to do [foo]. I need it to still do [foo].

    Us: I have tried the code you listed in versions going all the way back to 1.0, and they all do [bar]. Try the code in your old version and if you can duplicate the behavior you describe, send us files to demonatrate.

    Them: Well, the old version now does [bar] just like the new version. I know it used to do [foo], but I can't duplicate it anymore.

    You're not fooling me! You used a time machine to retrospectively change the behaviour of the old one! Undo that right away!
  • (cs) in reply to Xepol
    Xepol:
    Is anyone else as disturbed as I am that searching google for "Klingon grammar Nazis" IN quotes turns up sites other than this one?
    New to the internet? 50% of internet users are grammar nazis. 50% of internet users are trekkies. 100% of internet users are nerds. Surely you could have expected it?
  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous Tolkein Fan
    Anonymous Tolkein Fan:
    dkf:
    Sauron:
    Everyone knows Mein Kampf was originally written in Black Speech.
    You mean in “Ebonics”?

    no, black speech, the native language of mordor.

    btw, did you know that the ring poem (in the original black speech) can be sung to the tune of "hava nagila"?

    Can I get an apology from the commenter? In this day and time, you don't sit around a message board, where you have diversity, and refer to "black speech".

    http://www.theamericanmind.com/2008/07/11/black-hole-racist

  • ih8u (unregistered) in reply to Charles400
    Charles400:
    It started simply. 
    Hi

I get this problem when I push this button.

    Then don't push that button. NEXT!

    I got a call from a woman at her wit's end.

    "This error keeps popping up, and I just want it to go away." She continued by reading the error message which I did not recognize and mentioned that is shows a has an Ok and Cancel button. "I keep clicking Ok, but it keeps coming back. What should I do?"

    "Did you try clicking Cancel", I offered.

    "Oh that worked", she responded.

    captcha: wisi -- way WAY worse than a wussy (higher and squeakier among other things)

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Philip Newton:
    I'm impressed that they got the Klingon right.

    (Except for the missing initial apostrophe in {'arlogh Qoylu'pu'}.)

    Great, now we have Klingon grammar Nazis

    Today is a good day to apostrophate.

    I'm pretty sure apostrophate isn't a word, but it should be.

  • dbomp (unregistered) in reply to DaveK
    DaveK:
    You're not fooling me! You used a time machine to retrospectively change the behaviour of the old one! Undo that right away!
    Of course, by now the old behaviour has been committed and scrolled out of the rollback segment, so you'd get a "snapshot too old" error.
  • Montoya (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Philip Newton:
    I'm impressed that they got the Klingon right.

    (Except for the missing initial apostrophe in {'arlogh Qoylu'pu'}.)

    Great, now we have Klingon grammar Nazis

    You mean Klingon grammar Borgs

  • (cs) in reply to BobB
    BobB:
    I'm pretty sure apostrophate isn't a word, but it should be.
    No, but apostafest is.
  • Den (unregistered)

    Don Burleson is an idiot - don't listen to him.

  • (cs)
    Feature Articles:
    Not meandering and filling up whitespace to get to a particular wordcount, wasting the reader's time with boring, extraneous detail.

    I wish Jake Vinson would practice this as well.

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Philip Newton:
    I'm impressed that they got the Klingon right.

    (Except for the missing initial apostrophe in {'arlogh Qoylu'pu'}.)

    Great, now we have Klingon grammar Nazis

    Sorry, that's not possible, because Klingon isn't a language, just a code for English. It is, indeed, a WTF. I'd recommend the GP takes a look at Tolkien's work, but he'd probably start "reconstructing" Orkish and the Black Speech...

  • (cs) in reply to jetcitywoman
    jetcitywoman:
    Whenever I come across this kind of issue where I work, invariably the user INSISTS that it worked just yesterday. Despite me being able to scrape around and find hard proof that the routine has been empty/incorrect for years. I'm always puzzled about what they thought they saw.

    I've seen this happen a few times. Once, I was even the original programmer, and I knew for a fact that I didn't ever code the function. I also had a supporting comment in the code, which said something like, "I did not implement this function, because it serves no practical purpose, it's unlikely to ever be used, and any data it produced could only be misinterpreted," and then there was the virtually empty function definition, which simply returned a descriptive error response. I felt that the customer should have expected my answer in that case, because the error they were seeing was, "function $function_name never implemented."

    Several times, I was able to get the person to explain what it was they thought they saw:

    They thought they saw part of their job description require that they ran said function once per <time period>, and while they couldn't think of any purpose to the task, there it was. They'd never done it, because their predecessor had never told them anything about it, but there it was in their process docs, so they needed to show that they'd been doing it - since their manager started threatening terminations if people didn't start following their process docs to the letter.

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Great, now we have Klingon grammar Nazis

    Well, of course we do. Mein Kampf is much more compelling in the original Klingon.

  • son of dolor-mite (unregistered) in reply to Grassfire
    Grassfire:
    Initial Developer: "This is too hard, no-one's going to ever use it, I'm just going dummy up the report in excel and give them a hardcopy and tell the user it's done."

    (3 years later) User: "Why did this report stop using, it was fine when I used it yesterday"

    Initial Developer: It ran out of money. Drugs are expensive.

  • Joe B. (unregistered)

    Monthes have passed and yet the job is still running and doing absolutely nothing. Someone changed the form so that it would do what the job should - clever isn't it? And now that I've seen the how-it-should-be-not-null stored procedure I can guarantee you that it is overly complex, using loops where simple aggregation should be, types are completely forgotten, awful to read as it uses no standards, and there are two or three places where things can go unhandled.

    PS: Henrik is still the man, always helpful. And we still don't know who changed the procedure as DBAs are company-wide so they don't know nor do they care about the specifics of our application, support guys (myself included) can fix but only after revision, leaving devs as the only ones allowed to do stuff like this (the same ones that "developed" an overly complex, hideous - B grade horror film - code procedure).

  • nydjhgcikjhvktyd (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Tolkein Fan
    Anonymous Tolkein Fan:
    did you know that the ring poem (in the original black speech) can be sung to the tune of "hava nagila"?

    Is'nt it from Goblin's russian parody translation (http://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Властелин_колец:_Две_сорванные_башни , http://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Властелин_колец:_Возвращение_бомжа and article about first film currently is deleted) of LOR-movie?

  • L'ascolto del venerdì (unregistered)

    Nice one! ^_^

    But the error comes from "our_form_key_commit_trigger" and not from "statistics_and_stuff".

    Why does Joe look at the wrong procedure? ^_^

  • Pestulant (unregistered)

    Hi

    I get this problem when I push this button.

    Leave it alone - it's your navel.

  • Marc (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    Amortization by Defenestrated Capital

    ROTFL!!

  • Qunchuy (unregistered) in reply to rfsmit

    qatlhochnIS...I mean, I must contradict you. Klingon is in no way a code for English (or for any other language). Its basic grammar is incompatible with word-for-word replacement of English terms. It is most assuredly a language -- it even has an ISO 639-2 code, "tlh".

  • Unregged or something or whatever. (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    That would be "Klingon grammar Romulans"

  • Jonas (unregistered) in reply to Unregged or something or whatever.
    Unregged or something or whatever.:
    That would be "Klingon grammar Romulans"

    I lol'd.

    But, it could also be "Klingon grammar Ekosians"

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9f/STPatternForce.jpg

  • Axel (unregistered) in reply to durnurd

    Quote: I never thought my cursory knowledge of exactly one phrase in Klingon would ever be helpful.

    Your mother has a smooth forehead!

    I LOLed.

  • Axel (unregistered)

    Amortization by Defenestrated Capital

    IOW: they're just throwing money out the window! Literally!!!111one

  • eric bloedow (unregistered) in reply to Axel

    ah, yes, the "flying debenture" investment plan. (i saw that in a Dilbert comic)

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