The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

Medezark · 2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Bryan The K:
The Real WTF is that someone is using Visual Basic, amiright?
CAPTCHA: vindico - akwardness, a sensation you are about to fail.

Lay off VB. Anything you can do in whatever bastardized environment you call a programming language, i can do in VB. And if cross platform execution isn't an issue, I can do it in three varieties of assembly. :P

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

If you ask a question in the forest and never wait for the answer, will Schrödinger's yogi hear you?

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Medezark:
Lay off VB. Anything you can do in whatever bastardized environment you call a programming language, i can do in VB. And if cross platform execution isn't an issue, I can do it in three varieties of assembly. :P

It isn't that VB gravitates toward bad programs. It's that bad programmers gravitate toward VB.

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

So I guess before government came along to bestow the minimum wage upon us mere mortals, nobody got paid anything and everyone starved to death. That would account for how most everyone born before 1894 (the first minimum wage law) is dead now.

But it still doesn't explain why anyone working today finds it possible to command more than the minimum wage.

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Q: How does an appendix burst?

A: The table of contents collapsed

somedude · 2010-04-28 Reply Admin

tation:
Anonymous:
Er, sorry guys but if you read the article you will see that the tnsnames file wasn't on Lennart's workstation - it was on a network share but it got removed when he ran the uninstaller.

When did embedded systems gain access to network shares?

Not yet, but soon. Paula says the project is coming along quite nicely.

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

somedude:
tation:
When did embedded systems gain access to network shares?
Not yet, but soon. Paula says the project is coming along quite nicely.

Yeah, here's what I have so far:

if(embedded,
    access: share

Can someone please tell me what I need to add so it will compile? Or just mail me the code? I keep getting all these errors and its giving me a headache.

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Gary:
Where's the appendicitis? Assuming there's no exception-handling around this (in VB, I mean, what are the odds?), I suppose a couple of bad parameters would yield a SQL syntax error but that's about the worst I can see happening. At least they close the recordset....
This looks more like a coccyx than an appendix.

Heh, if you think you can remove a coccyx without loss of functionality, do it and see how well you stand upright, defecate, keep balance while sitting, etc.

Cad Delworth · 2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Smitty:
As I've stated before, Visual Basic can die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

Well, I feel the same way about all variants of C and PHP, and enjoy writing VB. Not that either of our comments advance this discussion, because the clown that wrote the WTF managed to write a second SQL statement which is never executed: and that's equally possible to do in any programming language, regardless of your personal preference or irrational hatred.

And if you're in .NET world (which this WTF doesn't seem to be), every language is neutered and mangled to become C-like anyway. Even—amusingly enough—APL.NET.

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Maybe there is a trigger tied to the first select statement that actually performs some work.

That is why all of the code was commented out. It moved to the stored procedure.

Elementary, Watson.

(Not Alimentary like a lot of the comments)

Smitty · 2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Cad Delworth:
Well, I feel the same way about all variants of C and PHP, and enjoy writing VB. Not that either of our comments advance this discussion, because the clown that wrote the WTF managed to write a second SQL statement which is never executed: and that's equally possible to do in any programming language, regardless of your personal preference or irrational hatred.
And if you're in .NET world (which this WTF doesn't seem to be), every language is neutered and mangled to become C-like anyway. Even—amusingly enough—APL.NET.

I admit I am biased towards VB. When I started this job I inherited a complex Winforms app written in VB over a single weekend by a dev who moved on shortly after. Dude was seriously bipolar and got fired after what I hear was an epic curse-ridden outburst towards a manager.

None of this prevented them from moving the aforementioned Winforms app to production after a day's testing though. Maintaining it provides me with many joyful hours of head-desk interaction.

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

somedude:
tation:
Anonymous:
Er, sorry guys but if you read the article you will see that the tnsnames file wasn't on Lennart's workstation - it was on a network share but it got removed when he ran the uninstaller.

When did embedded systems gain access to network shares?

Not yet, but soon. Paula says the project is coming along quite nicely.

Brillant news!

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

frits:
I predict an explosion of comments concerning SQL injection and the merits of stored procedures vs. queries.

I expect comments about embedded systems without a file system

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

fjf:
Geo:
FIRST
Vestigial comment: It doesn't serve its original purpose (to comment on the article), but it has taken on a secondary purpose (to show that the poster is an idiot). Thanks for the demonstration.

THIRD

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

ObiWayneKenobi:
So.... wtf is with that naming convention? I know the pseudo-Hungarian with "s" for string, "i" for integer, etc, but what's with the p and l? I see the "p" prefix fairly often in Classic ASP.... which is more often than I like to see Classic ASP due to the fact so many shit businesses here seem to think Classic ASP is a perfectly valid tool to use in 2010.
Param and Local?

Usually i see "p" used to mean passed (as in passed to the function/stored procedure) and "l" to mean local. It helps the coder spot where the variable came from so if it causes problems, makes it a lot easier to troubleshoot the source.

We use this in our stored procedures as after 50 or so calls to edit variables form the database it's nice to know where something came from.

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Smitty:
Cad Delworth:
Well, I feel the same way about all variants of C and PHP, and enjoy writing VB. Not that either of our comments advance this discussion, because the clown that wrote the WTF managed to write a second SQL statement which is never executed: and that's equally possible to do in any programming language, regardless of your personal preference or irrational hatred.
And if you're in .NET world (which this WTF doesn't seem to be), every language is neutered and mangled to become C-like anyway. Even—amusingly enough—APL.NET.

I admit I am biased towards VB. When I started this job I inherited a complex Winforms app written in VB over a single weekend by a dev who moved on shortly after. Dude was seriously bipolar and got fired after what I hear was an epic curse-ridden outburst towards a manager.

None of this prevented them from moving the aforementioned Winforms app to production after a day's testing though. Maintaining it provides me with many joyful hours of head-desk interaction.

I aM surPRisEd thAt yOU vB lovIng pEOplE stiLL rEmeMbER wHerE tHe
CApItaLs gO aNd mAnaGE tO gEt soMe PuncTUaTiOn In tOo

END SentenCe

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Veldan:
ObiWayneKenobi:
So.... wtf is with that naming convention? I know the pseudo-Hungarian with "s" for string, "i" for integer, etc, but what's with the p and l? I see the "p" prefix fairly often in Classic ASP.... which is more often than I like to see Classic ASP due to the fact so many shit businesses here seem to think Classic ASP is a perfectly valid tool to use in 2010.
Param and Local?

Usually i see "p" used to mean passed (as in passed to the function/stored procedure) and "l" to mean local. It helps the coder spot where the variable came from so if it causes problems, makes it a lot easier to troubleshoot the source.

We use this in our stored procedures as after 50 or so calls to edit variables form the database it's nice to know where something came from.

Oh...that explains the references to Appendix and Coccyx...It was all being passed

Catpcha: didjabringyagrogalong

2010-04-28 Reply Admin

Cad Delworth:
Smitty:
As I've stated before, Visual Basic can die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
Well, I feel the same way about all variants of C and PHP, and enjoy writing VB. Not that either of our comments advance this discussion, because the clown that wrote the WTF managed to write a second SQL statement which is never executed: and that's equally possible to do in any programming language, regardless of your personal preference or irrational hatred.
And if you're in .NET world (which this WTF doesn't seem to be), every language is neutered and mangled to become C-like anyway. Even—amusingly enough—APL.NET.

Well, pardner. . . If you want to write code fast, use your VB and PHP. If you want to write fast code, then use C.

Flight Control systems are written in C. Period. C. Not C++, not C#. C. If you don't like that, take the bus.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

I can fax the code to your FTP server if you give me your number.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Grr meant to include:

Paula:
somedude:
tation:
When did embedded systems gain access to network shares?
Not yet, but soon. Paula says the project is coming along quite nicely.
Yeah, here's what I have so far:
if(embedded,
    access: share
Can someone please tell me what I need to add so it will compile? Or just mail me the code? I keep getting all these errors and its giving me a headache.

Anon:
I can fax the code to your FTP server if you give me your number.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Medezark:
Lay off VB. Anything you can do in whatever bastardized environment you call a programming language, i can do in VB.

I'm sure you could rewrite the WTF so that the SQL wasn't so cluttered up with VB mark-up (something I hope you agree would be an improvement). It would not occur to someone to use that style of code in (say) PHP.

Dan:
Heh, if you think you can remove a coccyx without loss of functionality, do it and see how well you stand upright, defecate, keep balance while sitting, etc.

I'm sure I'd have no difficulties. Now breathe deeply...

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Anon:
I can fax the code to your FTP server if you give me your number.

"She's not your type. Your type's much stupider than her."

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

bramster:
Cad Delworth:
Smitty:
As I've stated before, Visual Basic can die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
Well, I feel the same way about all variants of C and PHP, and enjoy writing VB. Not that either of our comments advance this discussion, because the clown that wrote the WTF managed to write a second SQL statement which is never executed: and that's equally possible to do in any programming language, regardless of your personal preference or irrational hatred.
Well, pardner. . . If you want to write code fast, use your VB and PHP. If you want to write fast code, then use C.
Flight Control systems are written in C. Period. C. Not C++, not C#. C. If you don't like that, take the bus.

That's utter bollocks "pardner" - I've written safety critical flight control systems in Java. Yeah, you heard me, Java. Come back when you've left school and then maybe we can have a sensible conversation, kiddo.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Smitty:
I admit I am biased towards VB. When I started this job I inherited a complex Winforms app written in VB over a single weekend by a dev who moved on shortly after. Dude was seriously bipolar and got fired after what I hear was an epic curse-ridden outburst towards a manager.
None of this prevented them from moving the aforementioned Winforms app to production after a day's testing though. Maintaining it provides me with many joyful hours of head-desk interaction.

That sounds like a reason to be biased against VB rather than towards it.

Cbuttius · 2010-04-29 Reply Admin

bramster:
Well, pardner. . . If you want to write code fast, use your VB and PHP. If you want to write fast code, then use C.
Flight Control systems are written in C. Period. C. Not C++, not C#. C. If you don't like that, take the bus.

So why am I always hearing about C++ development roles at Amadeus?

nobulate · 2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Paula:
Yeah, here's what I have so far:
if(embedded,
    access: share
Can someone please tell me what I need to add so it will compile? Or just mail me the code? I keep getting all these errors and its giving me a headache.

Sure here you go:

// if (share_in_use) break;
psCmd = "SELECT CAST(REPLACE(SPACE(6 - LEN(CAST(@ID AS CHAR))), ' ', '0') + CAST(@ID AS CHAR) AS CHAR)"
if (embedded:
    backupShare()
    access(share)
    rollbackbackup()
    if not exist(share) != True -> Uninstall()
    )

Jaime · 2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Mishna:
Smitty:
Cad Delworth:
Well, I feel the same way about all variants of C and PHP, and enjoy writing VB. Not that either of our comments advance this discussion, because the clown that wrote the WTF managed to write a second SQL statement which is never executed: and that's equally possible to do in any programming language, regardless of your personal preference or irrational hatred.
And if you're in .NET world (which this WTF doesn't seem to be), every language is neutered and mangled to become C-like anyway. Even—amusingly enough—APL.NET.

I admit I am biased towards VB. When I started this job I inherited a complex Winforms app written in VB over a single weekend by a dev who moved on shortly after. Dude was seriously bipolar and got fired after what I hear was an epic curse-ridden outburst towards a manager.

None of this prevented them from moving the aforementioned Winforms app to production after a day's testing though. Maintaining it provides me with many joyful hours of head-desk interaction.

I aM surPRisEd thAt yOU vB lovIng pEOplE stiLL rEmeMbER wHerE tHe
CApItaLs gO aNd mAnaGE tO gEt soMe PuncTUaTiOn In tOo

END SentenCe

{ im sprsd u cn wrt a cmplt sntnc; }

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

bullshit.

PLacing some code here that is totally out of context cannot infringe any contracts.

ofc if you had a company name, the project etc then you ar eonto some thing but thats what censor ship is for ...

nobis: genius

frits · 2010-04-29 Reply Admin

bramster:
Well, pardner. . . If you want to write code fast, use your VB and PHP. If you want to write fast code, then use C.
Flight Control systems are written in C. Period. C. Not C++, not C#. C. If you don't like that, take the bus.

Is google broken for you? here's a quick list of flight control applications in other programming languages:

ADA: http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.113.7042&rep=rep1&type=pdf

Forth (Spacecraft): http://forth.gsfc.nasa.gov/

C++: http://icas-proceedings.net/ICAS2008/PAPERS/078.PDF

And if UAVs count, C#: http://www.hiskey.us/AUAV/default.aspx

MrBester · 2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Gary:
Where's the appendicitis? Assuming there's no exception-handling around this (in VB, I mean, what are the odds?), I suppose a couple of bad parameters would yield a SQL syntax error but that's about the worst I can see happening. At least they close the recordset....

Yeah, but they don't set it to Nothing, meaning it doesn't necessarily die when the function (or page / application) ends. Too many orphaned handles makes ADO cry and sulk in a corner.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Jan:
I guess my job is becoming a WTF - I see worse than this every day. Unfortunately my contract prevents me from posting it here.

I know for a fact that my job is a WTF. I'm a web developer and I see horrible HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and PHP every day. It seems good developers are the exception, not the rule, no matter what the language.

captcha: transverbero - The sound of a verb echoing through a hallway.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

frits:
bramster:
Well, pardner. . . If you want to write code fast, use your VB and PHP. If you want to write fast code, then use C.
Flight Control systems are written in C. Period. C. Not C++, not C#. C. If you don't like that, take the bus.

Is google broken for you? here's a quick list of flight control applications in other programming languages:

ADA: http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.113.7042&rep=rep1&type=pdf

Forth (Spacecraft): http://forth.gsfc.nasa.gov/

C++: http://icas-proceedings.net/ICAS2008/PAPERS/078.PDF

And if UAVs count, C#: http://www.hiskey.us/AUAV/default.aspx

I humbly stand corrected.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Further evidence that the Internet demonstrates that people don't grow out of the viciousness all children display, they just usually learn to mask it in real life...which just proves, somewhat circularly, I suppose, that the Internet is not real life...

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Crash:
Jan:
I guess my job is becoming a WTF - I see worse than this every day. Unfortunately my contract prevents me from posting it here.

I know for a fact that my job is a WTF. I'm a web developer and I see horrible HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and PHP every day. It seems good developers are the exception, not the rule, no matter what the language.

captcha: transverbero - The sound of a verb echoing through a hallway.

Being a .NET dev i can whole heartedly agree. The sins/abortions of nature that have appeared in some of the HTML I've had to work with shouldn't be put upon this Earth by any rational human being.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

Crash:
Jan:
I guess my job is becoming a WTF - I see worse than this every day. Unfortunately my contract prevents me from posting it here.

I know for a fact that my job is a WTF. I'm a web developer and I see horrible HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and PHP every day. It seems good developers are the exception, not the rule, no matter what the language.

captcha: transverbero - The sound of a verb echoing through a hallway.

Today, a "web developer" came and asked me to test our QA website with my cell phone. We do have a public facing website, but it's a locked down production box.

After staring at him for a moment and asking "Are you sure you mean the QA website?" He said "Yeah. I wanna check a change I just put there from the public side. Be sure to put http:// in front of it!"

This wasn't a fresh outta college/someone who's never touched a website before. This was a guy who has been putting html out into our website for years now.

After trying to figure out if he was really asking me to somehow resolve a server name that lacked a TLD. I still think he doesn't know what a DSN server actually does.

I'm scared of everything he does now....though this'd make a good short WTF.

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

ClutchDude:

After trying to figure out if he was really asking me to somehow resolve a server name that lacked a TLD but still on the internet. I still think he doesn't know what a DNS server actually does.

Fixed that for myself

2010-04-29 Reply Admin

ClutchDude:

After trying to figure out if he was really asking me to somehow resolve a server name that lacked a TLD but still on the internet. I still think he doesn't know what a DNS server actually does.

Fixed that for myself

bjolling · 2010-04-30 Reply Admin

Hatterson:
mike:
Hatterson:
MeesterTurner:
TRTRWTF is that neither query gets executed.... and that ADO will bomb on the rs.Close statement

I'm sorry...what?
Set rs = lconConnection.Execute(lsSQL) 
Sure, but have you seen the underlying library?
class SQLConnection {
   Set Execute (String sqlStatement) {
      // TODO:  ??? Do some sort of sql-y stuff here. - [email protected]
      return false;
   }
};
Well played

I don't see how. Maybe if the comment had been written by [email protected] it would be sort of kind of funny.

2010-04-30 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
That's utter bollocks "pardner" - I've written safety critical flight control systems in Java. Yeah, you heard me, Java. Come back when you've left school and then maybe we can have a sensible conversation, kiddo.

aonix.com:
Warning! QuickMenu may have been blocked by IE-SP2's active content option. This browser feature blocks JavaScript from running locally on your computer.
This warning will not display once the menu is on-line. To enable the menu locally, click the yellow bar above, and select "Allow Blocked Content".

To permanently enable active content locally...

1: Select 'Tools' --> 'Internet Options' from the IE menu. 2: Click the 'Advanced' tab. 3: Check the 2nd option under 'Security' in the tree (Allow active content to run in files on my computer.)

As an industry leader in safety critical solutions for two decades

we are blissfully unaware of browsers other than IE.

2010-04-30 Reply Admin

ClutchDude:
This wasn't a fresh outta college/someone who's never touched a website before. This was a guy who has been putting html out into our website for years now.
After trying to figure out if he was really asking me to somehow resolve a server name that lacked a TLD. I still think he doesn't know what a DSN server actually does.

I'm scared of everything he does now....though this'd make a good short WTF.

Granted, it takes a wee bit more than HTML to make the internet run. Those of us who run a domain single-handedly get familiar with quite a bit of stuff. But not being aware of that does not necessarily imply one is a horrible HTML coder. Conversely, some of the worst HTML I've ever seen has been written by the people who run the servers (whether HTTP, DNS, firewall, proxy, router or what-have-you).

Worst outside of FrontPage, that is.

2024-12-18