• (cs)

    <FONT face=Georgia>I just took a Support job... I hope I'm not working for Company C. Seems like The Abyss would hold about 95% of cases.</FONT>

  • (cs)

    I'm just waiting for the jpeg...  

  • WTFer (unregistered) in reply to BiggBru

    What happened to all the code WTF's?

  • uep (unregistered)

    I'm not a big fan of these recent WTFs.  I miss the potpourri.  :-(

    The captcha was most excellent though: craptastic.

  • (cs)

    I got through to The Actual Fixer once for my "company-that-sounds-like-horizon" DSL line... It was an amazing, gratifying experience (though probably not so gratifying as suggested in that jpg). Only happened once, though.

    As is always the case, someone's job is misnamed. The "Receiver" should be "The Deflector," as that minimizes the use of (not the need for!) the support line. The Abyss is probably a workaround for incompetent Deflectors who let too many calls through.

  • (cs)
    Anonymous:
    More like "First"

    CAPTCHA: java

    Funny, that's what I'm supposed to be learning now...

    Mumble something about loving the new typed Collections, and you'll be fine.
  • (cs)
    Jake Vinson:

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**** her **** and *** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,

  • WTFsNoMore (unregistered) in reply to WTFer

    Agreed... What happened to all the good WTFs

  • Dazed (unregistered)

    Aaaargh! If any further proof was needed that idiot programmers end up in management, I guess this was it. If this process was a program it wouldn't even compile.

  • (cs)

    I'd always find disgusting stuff on the PCs I'd clean, including a gem of an ad with a woman inviting the user to (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**** her **** and *** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******."

    I have a very dear friend who used to do PC support, and thankfully has escaped that level of hell for a much more rewarding career: yoga instructor.

    She told me that whenever she found a company machine with porn on it, she'd switch it to the "marquee" screensaver and set it to display the message, "I <3 Porn."

    I'm not sure what to think of that.

  • Someone, Somewhere, outwhere (unregistered) in reply to Bus Raker
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."
  • Yig (unregistered) in reply to Bus Raker

    I expect that's actually "C her C and C in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******."
    But I haven't a clue about the last word.

    Bukowski-esque captcha: "paste."

  • Dazed (unregistered) in reply to WTFer
    Anonymous:
    What happened to all the code WTF's?

    This site is "Curious Perversions in Information Technology", not "Curious Perversions in Code".

    Actually I see the ALT text for the header is "Curious Pervisions in Information Technology". WTF is a Pervision and where can I get one?

  • (cs) in reply to JBL
    JBL:
    I got through to The Actual Fixer once for my "company-that-sounds-like-horizon" DSL line... It was an amazing, gratifying experience (though probably not so gratifying as suggested in that jpg). Only happened once, though.



    Back In My Day(TM), I was dense enough to buy a non-IBM PC from a company (sounds like a ringing sound from an old car) that was known for non-standard motherboards, abysmal support, and so on.  I wanted to run this new "Linux" thing on it.  I try to install a distro from discuits I made at work; no go. I called  the support number on the "read me frist, luser" card, and get their front line support call center.  Explained what I wanted, without getting cut off to go into the script "do you have it plugged in," so I'm shocked.  "Hang on a sec, let me get Bob."  Less than a minute later, Bob comes on and tells me to change one of the settings in the firmware, and waits while I try it again.  It all works.  Damn.

    Sometimes when it works, it's an even bigger WTF.
  • (cs)

    It's so messed up that I lost interest reading about it at "The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK, logs the call in Logging System A to be handled by Canadian Support in Canada.".... Thank god Alex will be back monday .... sheesh lol...

  • E pluribus (unregistered) in reply to GoatCheez

    I don't really wee what your problem is with this. It makes perfect sense that for a Canadian support call, they would transfer to a Canadian Support Centre (note spelling) so that the caller could talk to a native Canadia speaker, or at least someone fluent in Canadian.

    sheesh

  • Unklegwar (unregistered)

    Abyssmal WTF

  • (cs) in reply to Someone, Somewhere, outwhere
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

    <FONT face=Georgia>Gimme an O, T, H</FONT>

    <FONT face=Georgia>"*UC* her CU*T and CU* in her *OUTH," as the user is a "nasty ???????."</FONT>

    <FONT face=Georgia>That last word could be anything. Next person should try an M.</FONT>

  • (cs) in reply to Someone, Somewhere, outwhere
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    it should be *UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U**, as the user is a nasty *******
  • (cs) in reply to Someone, Somewhere, outwhere
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    How about a S?

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

  • (cs) in reply to poochner
    poochner:
    JBL:
    I got through to The Actual Fixer once for my "company-that-sounds-like-horizon" DSL line... It was an amazing, gratifying experience (though probably not so gratifying as suggested in that jpg). Only happened once, though.



    Back In My Day(TM), I was dense enough to buy a non-IBM PC from a company (sounds like a ringing sound from an old car) that was known for non-standard motherboards, abysmal support, and so on.  I wanted to run this new "Linux" thing on it.  I try to install a distro from discuits I made at work; no go. I called  the support number on the "read me frist, luser" card, and get their front line support call center.  Explained what I wanted, without getting cut off to go into the script "do you have it plugged in," so I'm shocked.  "Hang on a sec, let me get Bob."  Less than a minute later, Bob comes on and tells me to change one of the settings in the firmware, and waits while I try it again.  It all works.  Damn.

    Sometimes when it works, it's an even bigger WTF.
    Yop. And I suspect Bob switched companies in the meantime.
  • (cs) in reply to TankerJoe
    TankerJoe:
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    How about a S?

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."



    *USS* is wrong, it's redundant and you don't change words midsentence.  think the hole in your face
  • (cs) in reply to Dazed
    Anonymous:
    Anonymous:
    What happened to all the code WTF's?
    This site is "Curious Perversions in Information Technology"

    <FONT face=Tahoma>And it's slowly getting into the other definition... *sigh*

    Non-code WTFs are fine but I think code WTFs (and potpourries) are funnier...



    </FONT>
  • Breakfast with Girls (unregistered)
    The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK, logs the call in Logging System A
    Are you actually suggesting that The Receiver just go and get The Actual Fixer?  As if The Actual Fixer doesn't have plenty of other things on their plate and can drop everything for every support call relating to him?

    p.s. Guys, try a T and an I.
  • (cs) in reply to WTFsNoMore

    yeah these suck... boo

  • (cs) in reply to Breakfast with Girls
    Anonymous:
    The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK, logs the call in Logging System A
    Are you actually suggesting that The Receiver just go and get The Actual Fixer?  As if The Actual Fixer doesn't have plenty of other things on their plate and can drop everything for every support call relating to him?

    p.s. Guys, try a T and an I.


    I?
  • (cs)

    weak. sidebar material at best....

  • (cs) in reply to Someone, Somewhere, outwhere
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

    I'd like a 'W'...
        "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."
    (Damn.)
  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    I think you have it all wrong.. it is probably:

    *C her CE and C in her TH," as the user is a "nasty CS**

  • Sweet rasberry danish (unregistered) in reply to TankerJoe
    TankerJoe:
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    How about a S?

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

    You guys are terrible at this:  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U** as the user is a nasty *SS****.

    If you still can't figure out the last one... Give me an O!
    You guys are terrible at this.  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *OU** as the user is a nasty *SS*O**.

  • (cs) in reply to Harsh

    TankerJoe:

    How about a S?

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U**," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    Give me a W T F

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "FUC* her CU*T and CU* in her **UT*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Bus Raker

    This has got to be it ;)

     "FUC* her FAE and CU in her UT," as the user is a "nasty CUSL*T.

  • (cs) in reply to Sweet rasberry danish
    Anonymous:
    TankerJoe:
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    How about a S?

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

    You guys are terrible at this:  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U** as the user is a nasty *SS****.

    If you still can't figure out the last one... Give me an O!
    You guys are terrible at this.  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *OU** as the user is a nasty *SS*O**.

    Gimme an H, L, M and T:

    *UC* her CU*T and CUM in her MOUTH as the user is a nasty *SSHOL*

  • cdcarter (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous

    No way, It is obviously

    "FUC* her in her CUT and CU in her OUH, as the user is a nasty CUSLT"

  • (cs) in reply to Harsh
    Harsh:
    TankerJoe:
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    How about a S?

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."



    *USS* is wrong, it's redundant and you don't change words midsentence.  think the hole in your face


    oooops, my mistake.  I'm married, so I didn't even consider the hole in her face a possibility (anymore)...
  • pervert (unregistered) in reply to snoofle

    well now hang on... that second word could also be TWAT... but I'd bet that last word is PERVERT.

    captcha:  STFU

  • (cs) in reply to Sweet rasberry danish
    Anonymous:
    TankerJoe:
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    How about a S?

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

    You guys are terrible at this:  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U** as the user is a nasty *SS****.

    If you still can't figure out the last one... Give me an O!


    You guys are terrible at this.  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *OU** as the user is a nasty *SS*O**.

    It would really be hot if the site was for "BI-curious perversions..."

  • (cs)
    Jake Vinson:

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**** her **** and *** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******."

    mock her sobs and joy in her angst, since you're a nasty manager?

  • John X. (unregistered)

    We are talking about  HP Business Consulting, Support & Managed Outsourcing IT Services, aren't we?

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Breakfast with Girls
    The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK, logs the call in Logging System A


    Its that Goatse.cx literature?
  • Paul Bean (unregistered) in reply to cdcarter

    "Oh man, you wouldn't believe it, at this one company, you call in for support, and if they can't solve it, they TRANSFER your call to AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT DEPARTMENT! And if they resolve it ... get this ... they CLOSE YOUR CASE! BWAAAA HAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HAR HAR HAR, ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS?!?!?"

    Worst. WTF. Ever.

  • sue (unregistered)

    No one questions the process because for them 'the abyss' is not a bug, it's a feature. 

  • (cs) in reply to pervert
    Anonymous:

    well now hang on... that second word could also be TWAT... but I'd bet that last word is PERVERT.

    captcha:  STFU

    No ... you don't need to **** out pervert.

     

    Maybe it's C*MS*CK

     

  • Martin (unregistered) in reply to WTFsNoMore
    Anonymous:
    Agreed... What happened to all the good WTFs


    As Alex said sometime last week, he's gone away for a bit so this guy is filling in, i guess the WTFs will be back to normal when alex is
  • Sweet rasberry danish (unregistered) in reply to Bus Raker

    Look at what they say right after it:

    Speaking of nasty *******s, the large multinational tech support corporation that Doly G. works for has a unique structure.

    It's clearly AHole.

  • groovy (unregistered) in reply to Dazed
    Anonymous:
    Anonymous:
    What happened to all the code WTF's?

    This site is "Curious Perversions in Information Technology", not "Curious Perversions in Code".

    Actually I see the ALT text for the header is "Curious Pervisions in Information Technology". WTF is a Pervision and where can I get one?



    you pervit.

    captcha=felchbag

  • APAQ11 (unregistered) in reply to Harsh
    Harsh:
    TankerJoe:
    Anonymous:
    Bus Raker:

    This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

    Speaking of nasty *******s,



    give me a U

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."


    How about a S?

    (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."



    *USS* is wrong, it's redundant and you don't change words midsentence.  think the hole in your face

    I think someone is a little too familiar with this advertisement.

  • hmsphx (unregistered) in reply to Someone, Somewhere, outwhere

    Oh wow, I was thinking something totally different for the ***.  Had to do with other body fluids though.

    Does this make me a pervert?

  • (cs)
    Jake Vinson:
    as the user is a "nasty *******."


    I think the word you're looking for is BEANBAG.

  • Wang-Lo (unregistered)

    "Read her mail and sit in her chair," as the user is a "nasty fighter."

    -Wang-Lo.

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